A Cookie or a Cold Hotdog?

[NHdisneylover]

Per the OP's description, the older girl never asked for a cookie. I question why anyone would feel the need to offer her anything. My assumption would be that she is not hungry.

I am kind of along these liens as well--though i probably would have asked the older girl if she was hungry before handing out the lone cookie. If she was, I would have split the cookie and then looked for another snack (a cookie--half or whole will not do much to curb hunger). If the older girl indicated she did not want a cookie at that time I would have given it to the younger.

Either way I do not think it is anything for anybody (even a grandchild) to get worked up about.

 

[Mrs. Charming]

I think the Grandma is off her rocker. Does she give half eaten fruitcakes for Christmas??

I'd have absolutely split the cookie.

 

[EveDallas]

Well, my DS would have totally gone for the cold hot dog over the cookie. He loves hot dogs, hot or cold.

 

[MIGrandma]

I wouldn't have split the cookie since the older girl didn't say anything about wanting a cookie. A great lesson for the older on learning how to speak up if you want something. If she had spoken up and said I want a cookie too, then I would have split it.

The older girl was at the younger girl's grandparents' home. She had never been there before and her mother had taught her you don't ask for things in other people's homes. She wanted the cookie just as much as the younger girl did, but knew she had been taught not to ask so that is why she "didn't speak up" to say she wanted a cookie too.

The younger girl's grandmother never asked the older girl if she wanted a cookie too.

 

[PollyannaMom]

This should be a flow chart.

Question 1 (to older girl) - Would you like something, too?

If answer is no, give cookie to younger girl.

If answer is yes, proceed to question 2.

Question 2 (to both girls) - I only have one. Do you want to split it, have something else, or bake some more together?

If option A is chosen, split cookie.

If option B is chosen, search for other snacks, and proceed to question 3.

If option C is chosen, gather ingredients and begin intergenerational bonding.

Question 3 - ...

 

[jen0610]

The older girl was at the younger girl's grandparents' home. She had never been there before and her mother had taught her you don't ask for things in other people's homes. She wanted the cookie just as much as the younger girl did, but knew she had been taught not to ask so that is why she "didn't speak up" to say she wanted a cookie too.

The younger girl's grandmother never asked the older girl if she wanted a cookie too.

This would have been kids as well. They know better to ask to be feed at someones house that they are a guest in. Long standing friends, that they are treated as one of the family, they will ask, but at someones house for the first time, no way. They could have been starving and they wouldn't have asked for anything. If offered, they would have accepted a snack.

From my childhood, my grandma on dad side, if there isn't enough for all, none would have gotten one. On mom side, I wouldn't have eaten anything from her house.

My mom, would have asked the girls if they wanted to make cookies and had more than enough to share and for the girls to each take some home. My MIL, if she had a days notice, she would have made the cookies ahead and if not, they'd a been baking with her too.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Hmmmm....

Well, in my home, if someone asks for something and it happens to be the last one, I don't make them share. If one child decides to ask for one after the fact, I tell them it was the last one. If I had offered OR both requested at about the same time, I would make them split it. But if one was trotting along fine and only wanted the cookie after the other got it, I would use it as a teaching opportunity that the one with the cookie can share if they want to, but they don't have to--but you may ask them. Then I will monitor the situation to make sure that it is all handled politely even if the answer is no
no. If rudeness is involved--the rude asker will do without and if cookie person were rude..they'd be required to share or surrender the cookie depending on their behavior.

What that teaches is...empowerment to decide whether or not they would like to share and that it is okay not to sometimes. It also teaches that sometimes, we miss out and the world won't end if we do...a coping skill.

And as far as that hot dog....that is just weird unless that child actually likes that as a treat and grandma wanted her to have a treat. My kids used to eat frozen peas as a treat.

 

[AndreaDM]

The older girl was at the younger girl's grandparents' home. She had never been there before and her mother had taught her you don't ask for things in other people's homes. She wanted the cookie just as much as the younger girl did, but knew she had been taught not to ask so that is why she "didn't speak up" to say she wanted a cookie too.

That would totally be my daughter too. Reminds me of the time I was running a tad late to pick her up at the babysitters. The sitter was feeding her kids steak and made mine a ham sandwich. Of course my 7 year old would never speak up, but she sure was drooling over that steak! I don't know why they couldn't have waited the 10 minutes to eat dinner instead of eating in front of her.

 

[bookgirl]

Okay, here's the scenario: two little girls, one is about 8 and the other is about 5. They are at the younger grandparent's home. The younger one asks for a cookie, the grandma goes to the cookie jar. There is one cookie left. She reaches in and gives it to the little girl. The older girl is watching, but says nothing. The grandma goes to the refrigerator and pulls out a cold hot dog and offers that to the older girl. What do you think?

Was that all right? Or should she have split the cookie between the two girls?

IMO, the grandma should have split the cookie. No way does a little girl want a cold hotdog when the other little girl has a whole cookie. That is what I would have done, had I been the grandma in this story.

My nephews LOVE cold hotdogs and one would almost definetly prefer that choice. Maybe she knew the older girls taste?

 

[wendy46001]

am i the only one who thinks "who leaves behind one cookie?"
anyone in my house would have just finished off all of them....

 

[savannahcat]

My DD4 would take the cold hotdog over the cookie. Cold hotdogs are her favorite food next to frozen waffles (still frozen)!

 

[Pumbaa_]

kinda rude of grandma to give HER grandchild a cookie. I agree, I was brought up to never ask for things, but wait to be offered. Who would have thought good manners would get yuo a cold hot dog!

 

[sbell111]

am i the only one who thinks "who leaves behind one cookie?"
anyone in my house would have just finished off all of them....

 

[Handbag Lady]

A grandma is a grandma, no matter who actually "owns" which child.

She should have taken the kids in the car to get more cookies. (assuming it is too hot to bake now.)

 

[sbell111]

A grandma is a grandma, no matter who actually "owns" which child.

She should have taken the kids in the car to get more cookies. (assuming it is too hot to bake now.)

My kid isn't allowed to get into cars with other people without my permission. This includes people who are someone's grandma (even their own).

 

[vettechick99]

I'm with Lisa Loves Pooh.

So the older girl didn't ask for a cookie? I appreciate that the girl has manners (love it, in fact!). If she was at my house, I would have asked the older girl if she wanted a snack too. But the little one would have gotten the cookie and the older something similar. So overall, I think Grandma did the right thing in offering her another snack. Or I would have offered them both something different that I had enough of. But if the little one wanted the cookie, she would have gotten it.

Why must everything be the same between kids? Kids need to learn that fair does not = same. When I serve snacks to my kids at school, sometimes a child will get a Fig Newton, and another an Oreo. We tell them "Eat what you get and don't pitch a fit" (in the south, get and fit rhyme ). It teaches fairness in the right light, IMO.

Anyway, if I was Grandma, I would not have offered a hot dog. Another dessert-type snack, sure - but a hot dog?? (although I do love a grilled Hebrew National hot dog!)

 

[sbell111]

This thread kinda has me jonesing for a cold hot dog.

 

[Momvic5]

am i the only one who thinks "who leaves behind one cookie?"
anyone in my house would have just finished off all of them....

In my house, my dh would leave one cookie in the cookie jar...just so that no one could say that he ate all the cookies. He does the same thing with a bag of chips. He will eat most of them and leave a few at the bottom of the bag and put the bag back into the pantry.....

My opinion on the grandma and the cookie.....Grandma can do with the cookie as she pleases....after all, she is the grandma - Grandmas don't have to be fair or teach life lessons!

 

[pixiewings71]

Well this Gma would have more than 1 cookie...I tell my girls to figure out when there is only 1 of whatever they want left but they are 10 & 14! Depending on how much other junk I would have given that day I would have either said "you have to share the cookie" or "no more cookies today" or "gma only has 1 cookie left, you can split it or chose another snack" and let them decide.

 

[sunnyday123]

am i the only one who thinks "who leaves behind one cookie?"
anyone in my house would have just finished off all of them....

I thought that too. Wine and cookies....why you leave any leftover is beyond me!

And as far as the update, I still think the Grandma is wacky. Life isn't fair and all that, but I'm still going to make a kid split a cookie.