A boy broke a girl's glasses in my class...

[FSUDisneyGirl]

I teach music. Yesterday, my 2nd graders were leaving the room, and a girl held up her glasses (she was not crying or even looked upset)- I said "Oh, your screw fell out! That happens to me sometimes" and her teacher (a sub) was next to me, so I figured they would fix it in class.

Fast forward to today...her real teacher is back, and tells me that a boy from a different class (they combine for resource classes) pulled her glasses off her face, broke them, and handed them back to her as they were leaving my class. Literally, in the less than 10 seconds it took me walk from the back past the line of students to the door, this happened.

I feel HORRIBLE! I'm sure mom is mad, and I don't blame her. As a parent, what would you want to hear from me? I don't have kids yet, so I'd like to know. The girl did not stop to tell me what happened in class, I did not find out until the end of today, so tomorrow the plan is to confront the boy, write him a referral, call his parents, etc. and then call the girl's parents. The little girl is sweet, the boy can be impulsive, and I believe he will admit to doing it. I feel awful, but if he was determined to break her glasses, he did it so quickly that I probably wouldn't have been able to reach him in time to stop it if I did see it. An accident, I understand...breaking someone's glasses on purpose...in 2nd grade...that is a big problem.

So....what would you want me to say to you when I call tomorrow? Please no flaming...just help! Thanks!

 

[YellowMickeyPonchos]

OMG - that is a hard one. I wore glasses at that age, so I know how stressful it is on that little girl! My heart goes out to both of you, as I know you are suffering "what if".

I would want to hear the simple, honest truth. Tell them that the situation occured as they left the class - and you were completely unaware. (If it was purposeful, the boy wasn't about to let you see him do it - that's the first code of a bully.) The girl did not come to you to help her resolve the problem - possibly she was afraid or upset and not thinking rationally. Tell them the findings of your investigation - whatever you are allowed to tell them - and hope for the best. If you present things in such a way that it looks like you are making up for missing the incident, I think they will be fine with it.

Now that I have kids and they most likely will need glasses at that early age due to my genetics, how does that get handled? Are the boy's parents responsible to replace the cost of the glasses if he admits to doing the crime? I know ethically they are, but is that something they are obligated to do without legal action? (I didn't say that right, but you know what I'm getting at.)

 

[design_mom]

Ugh... My son has worn glasses since he was 14 months old. He's almost 8 now and we've had two pairs of glasses snatched/broken in daycare/school.

I don't want this to sound overly harsh or directed at you personally, because I'm sure you did the best you could... but as a parent, here's what I would want in a situation like this.

I would want to know the truth about what happened to the best of your knowledge. (I probably wouldn't be happy that apparently there were TWO teachers in the room when it happened and neither of them saw it, but realistically I know that you can't see everything. I wouldn't "blame you" for it... My frustration would just stem from the fact that these things always seem to happen when nobody's looking, so nobody knows what really happened.)

I would want to know what, if anything, can be done to prevent the situation from happening again. Can my child be seated far away from the other boy during the combined class? Can my child be the "line leader" on the way back to the classroom so she's near a teacher? If there is nothing, you could say "I've thought about it, and I honestly do not think there's anything that could have prevented this from happening." All I want to know is that it's been thought about.

Finally, if the glasses were broken beyond repair, I would want to be notified IMMEDIATELY (hopefully the Sub did this when she realized she couldn't repair the glasses in class.) This is not for punishment or anything -- it's so I can reorder glasses. My son's glasses take several days to replace (he wears bifocals that have to be specially made). One time, his teacher just handed me a baggie full of broken glasses parts at the end of the day. DS had been without his glasses most of that day, and several more while the new glasses were being made. If I'd known about the incident as soon as it happened, I could have minimized the time he was without them. Children don't wear glasses as fashion accessories -- they are necessary medical equipment.

To the poster who asked about who pays for broken glasses... Our optical shop offers a breakage warranty for the glasses which we always purchase... because truly, my child is just as likely (or more likely) to damage his own glasses. Of the two instances, one family offered to pay to replace DS's glasses, the other did not. Since we had the insurance, we would not have accepted money from either family, but we certainly appreciated the offer.

 

[java]

1. Ask a child when something happens as opposed to telling them - your screw fell out
2. You didn't see it happen- you can't keep your eyes on everyone at all times so I wouldn't be upset about that.
3. When you call the parent just be honest. The only time I threw a fit at the school was when a teacher lied to me to make herself look better. She didn't know that I was friends with another teacher and knew the whole story of what happened- not her version by a long shot. Thankfully she left the school after that one year.
Honesty is all parents want. Well the reasonable ones anyway. And an "I'm so sorry that it happened" goes a long way too.

I would be grateful that a teacher bothered to call.

 

[SLK1]

I'm not sure what I would do in your situation, but I can say I wish the teachers at our school were as conscientious as you are! Sometimes I think teachers just don't want to be bothered with things like this (not all of course, but some). Having said that, I would advise you to just be honest. You can't possibly be expected to control the actions of every kid you see at all times...and in second grade, being "compulsive" as you say (aka bratty), should be punished...the kid should be punished, and the parents should pay for the little girl's glasses.

 

[Stephres]

I wouldn't be too upset about it, things happen, but you can see other parents might. I would not expect a call from the music teacher but it would be nice to have an assurance that my child would not be seated near the offender.

I would be a little wary of punishing the boy when you did not see it first hand; what if it didn't happen the way the girl said? Our assistant principal takes care of discipline so I would report it to her and let her investigate.

I don't have troublemakers in school (usually!) but I don't think a child should be punished based on what one child says. If the other children back her up, then he definitely should be punished.

Good luck! I wish my kids had you for a teacher too!

 

[Mkrop]

As a parent, I think I would like to hear that you are going to remind the kids that no one is to be touching other people's property. You dont nee to use this girl and her glasses as a specific example, especially since you did not see what happened but just a general conversation about respect for property and boundaries.

I too would love a phone call that they were broken so I can make the time necessary to go get them fixed or replaced. We do have a spare pair now bc of too many times the glasses would get broken at a neighborhood basketball game at 6pm on Sunday when no where is open to get them fixed!

 

[momtwo4]

First, these things happen. It sounds like you feel bad that this happened in your classroom, be honest with the parents, and just explain what happened. If it were one of my kids ( i have four, two which are 9 yr olds that wear glasses) I would appreciate the teacher calling and explaining, but would hold nothing against you. These things happen.
I hope the parent is understanding and the child who broke the glasses has remorse. I surely hope his parents have some sort of age appropriate consequence set up for his behavior, and stepup and pay for new glasses would be nice but I wouldn't count on it
Good Luck!

 

[Terry36]

First, these things happen. It sounds like you feel bad that this happened in your classroom, be honest with the parents, and just explain what happened. If it were one of my kids ( i have four, two which are 9 yr olds that wear glasses) I would appreciate the teacher calling and explaining, but would hold nothing against you. These things happen.
I hope the parent is understanding and the child who broke the glasses has remorse. I surely hope his parents have some sort of age appropriate consequence set up for his behavior, and stepup and pay for new glasses would be nice but I wouldn't count on it
Good Luck!

DITTO to all of what you said! I would expect the boy's parents to pay for replacement glasses.

 

[crisi]

Another thing to keep in mind is that its possible she broke her own glasses and is looking to blame someone else so as not to get in trouble. It happens. My daughter's glasses came home scratched and when we asked her what happened it was "Ryan took them off my desk and was playing with them" - talking to her teacher - not about her glasses - it was "she plays with things - she plays with her jewelry, she takes off her glasses and spins them on the desk....." - Aha! Good thing I didn't make a scene about Ryan and the glasses!

I think most parents of kids who wear glasses do insure them. Kids break their own glasses all the time (run over by bikes, hit in the face by a baseball, eaten by the dog - all have happened in our house). We even make sure to keep last years perscription on hand because it happens so often that we need spares.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

I don't think you have anything to feel bad about. You can't be standing next to each child all the time. A boy could easily break a girl's glasses while your attention was elsewhere. Besides discipline for the boy, the other lesson is this is teaching the girl to speak up when something happens to her. She should have told you or the sub immediately what happened.

Just tell the mom exactly what happened. You saw that the glasses were broken but the girl didn't say anything. The mom shouldn't be upset with you in the least. Good luck!

 

[kitsch4]

I say be honest and sympathetic. I would be most upset if nothing was said at all. And even though you seem uncomfortable and you aren't sure what to say, the fact that you do want to address the situation says a lot! Good luck!

 

[melafive]

Honestly I would be upset but not at you the teacher, I would be upset with the student. A second grader should know better. I preschooler on the other hand I might not be so upset with. I have had glasses since I was two and never have I had anyone break my glasses. They may have been broken on accident but not intentionally by a flying ball or whatever. So if I were you I would be honest. Then I would discuss the situation with the principal and have him/her deal with the discipline since you really don't know 100% what happened.

 

[nursears]

I agree, honesty is best....these things happen and it wasn't your fault in anyway. The kids should've known better! Most eye doctors offer 1yr warranties on them anyway. My daughter has glasses, that scares me.

 

[disykat]

I would just make an initial quick call to let the parents know you just became aware that the broken glasses were due to an incident in your classroom and you were looking into it. Ask if they have any info that will help you investigate, let them know you are sorry it happened and set a time when you will call back with more info.

Then you can talk to all the parties involved and make a plan.

 

[DawnM]

I am really unclear on what happened. A resource kid took off her glasses and broke them? Is that the case? I have had some special ed/resource kids in my classroom before (high school) and sometimes they have done things that there is just no way you could control.

This is in no way your fault and I am not sure it is even your responsibility to make the call. It might be a nice gesture, but if the parents get overly upset, please know this is not your fault.

Dawn

 

[Stitchfans]

My DDs glasses have been broken twice now throughout the years at school. I would never think to ask the teacher how it happened or anything like that. I know the teacher can't be everywhere. Yes I was angry but each time we had to buy her some new glasses.

 

[seashoreCM]

Just some things worth thinking about.

The teacher should tell everything he/she knows and thinks (with appropriate disclaimers) to anybody and everybody who may be interested.

(to the parent) Consult your doctor on how well your child can go about without glasses. Then if you keep running into problems with glasses being broken, have your child wear glasses only when you are with him/her and have the teachers seat him/her at the front of the class to be better able to see the blackboard (or white board or video screen) without glasses.

Health hints: http://members.aol.com/ajaynejr/health.htm

Next topic: A boy broke a girl's laptop in my class.

 

[design_mom]

Just some things worth thinking about.

(to the parent) Consult your doctor on how well your child can go about without glasses. Then if you keep running into problems with glasses being broken, have your child wear glasses only when you are with him/her and have the teachers seat him/her at the front of the class to be better able to see the blackboard (or white board or video screen) without glasses.

Seriously? That's your advice?

If you were to replace the word "glasses" with hearing aid, leg braces, or wheelchair, would you have the same advice? Don't wear the hearing aid and have the teacher sit your child near the front of the room so he can read her lips better. Don't wear the leg braces but have your child seated near the door so he doesn't have as far to crawl to his bus.

Children do not wear glasses as a fashion accessory. They are necessary medical equipment, and they are NOT optional. Our ophthalmologist says the only appropriate times for DS not to be wearing his glasses are: when he's sleeping, when he's in the bathtub, and when he's in the pool (not *at* the pool... *in* the pool.) I can't imagine any doctor who prescribes glasses to a child recommending tht they not wear them during school.

I understand that accidents happen and I do not think the OP could have anticipated what happened (so I do not find her at fault in the least), but now that there has been an incident, I hope that the adults involved would be extra vigilant to make sure that it doesn't happen again.

 

[Stitchfans]

Just some things worth thinking about.

The teacher should tell everything he/she knows and thinks (with appropriate disclaimers) to anybody and everybody who may be interested.

(to the parent) Consult your doctor on how well your child can go about without glasses. Then if you keep running into problems with glasses being broken, have your child wear glasses only when you are with him/her and have the teachers seat him/her at the front of the class to be better able to see the blackboard (or white board or video screen) without glasses.

Health hints: http://members.aol.com/ajaynejr/health.htm

Next topic: A boy broke a girl's laptop in my class.

Are you serious? Unbelievable!!