A Bad Saturday. Long and ugly post that may upset some readers. NOT a debate.

[Teejay32]

I've been saying for a while now this is becoming more common, because my ex-SIL did it, and someone my DH used to work with went through the same thing. My BIL is still on trial for child molestation, and the case hasn't gotten very far in three years. He refuses to plead guilty. It looks like eventually he'll be found innocent as the prosecution's case has fallen apart little by little, but on the other hand, it's cost him about $50K already and it's not over yet. I doubt we'll ever see her or those kids again. I doubt I'll ever make the effort to.

After seeing what someone goes through, I can understand why people plead guilty to get it over with. They're screwed no matter what.

 

[Margie J]

I am truly sorry that your friend and the kids have to go through this. After reading this story and experiencing two similar circumstances I'd imagine this happens more often than people want to admit. To use innocent kids and mess them up just to "get even" is horrible.

I sat on a jury that heard a child molestation case. It was a case that had been back and forth in the court system for years. The father was being accussed of molestation based on the child apparently saying to the GM one day "daddy touches me there" when her diaper was being changed. First of all, the father was in charge of her care during the day. That included diapering and bathing. He had to touch his child. It doesn't mean that he molested her. There was also no evidence or witnesses to any molestation. We set him free. However, he and the child had been through years of crap before that.

A friend of mine was also accussed, during a divorce battle. The wife even had a restraining order out on him and had him arrested one night. Unfortunately, he tried to fight back by not paying child support so it just made things worse for him. He was so mad though that he couldn't understand how he was really hurting both himself and his child by doing this.

 

[EsmeraldaX]

I thought that the court did not order the daughter into therapy, but maybe they have and it hasn't begun yet. I truly hope it starts soon.

We are going to see him every day until he gets sent away and try to convince him to get a new lawyer. I think that because the lawyer knew he wasn't going to be able to get much more $$ out of this case than he had , he just didn't want to try it. That is scary too.

As for juries erring on the side of caution, I think it probably happens a lot too. I know that if I were not shown the backstory on this case, I'd probably have said he was guilty too.

For some reason, his lawyer told him that he could not talk that much about the mother and her problems during the trial, since technically, she just called the state child services and it was then out of her hands. She was not technically the accuser, it was the state who was the accuser.

Personally, I think it's ridiculous. If a jusy was able to hear the various threats she made, and her basically proclaiming she was going to do this before she did, that a reasonable jury would have seen the truth.

I am going to show him this thread. The more I think about his lawyer the more angry I get.

 

[Tinkbell]

It's sickening. I'm saddened reading these reoports from people with friends/family who have also been through this.

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Originally posted by Margie J

A friend of mine was also accussed, during a divorce battle. The wife even had a restraining order out on him and had him arrested one night. Unfortunately, he tried to fight back by not paying child support so it just made things worse for him. He was so mad though that he couldn't understand how he was really hurting both himself and his child by doing this.

Through all of this, the mother for some reason was not collecting child support. I forget why, but my friend had a large account set aside with money for back child support and extra $$ in case they needed it if he did get sent away. He loves those kids and wants them to have everything.

After this all started, the mother quit her job and went on welfare. One of our other friends lives near her. He knows her but she does not know him. He has said he's seen her out , often, without the kids, which is very troubling because I think she just leaves the 10 yo home with the 4 yo. He's also overheard her "bragging" to her sister about what she is doing to our friend.

I am so worried about these kids.

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Originally posted by Teejay32

After seeing what someone goes through, I can understand why people plead guilty to get it over with. They're screwed no matter what.

I fear this is why he plead.

 

[OceanAnnie]

I did a quick search on "legal advice for the wrongly accused", and this site came up. It seems to have some good information.

http://www.a-team.org/ (home page)

This list of ten things to do when falsely accused looked timely.
http://www.a-team.org/falsely_accused.html

Hope it helps! Your friend shouldn't throw his life away. His children need him!

 

[palmtreegirl]

What about getting the women on tape admitting that it was all a lie? I'm sure she's bragging to someone about her little scam, maybe he could hire a PI to investigate her?

If he's innocent he has to fight this because it's in the best interest of his kids to do so. A few minutes of being cross examined on the stand is nothing next to a lifetime without their father. Tell him to fight for his kids.

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Originally posted by palmtreegirl
What about getting the women on tape admitting that it was all a lie? I'm sure she's bragging tto someone about her little scam, maybe he could hire a PI to investigate her?

His family is planning on hiring a PI shortly. Don't know how admissable that stuff is in court but they really want to try and gain custody because right now the children are living in a very bad situation.

 

[Disney Enthusiast]

I'm so sorry for your friend.

I, too, thought of the Salem Witch trials when I read the post about the 2 boys and the neighborhood going after that poor man. You wonder why we get so crazy sometimes and turn into a mob just out to get somebody w/o any facts.

I hope your friend gets thru this w/ as little pain as possible. Those poor kids. I have no advice, just wanted you to know you are in my thoughts.

 

[Teejay32]

Originally posted by EsmeraldaX
His family is planning on hiring a PI shortly. Don't know how admissable that stuff is in court but they really want to try and gain custody because right now the children are living in a very bad situation.

Whoa. I would think hard about that if I were them.

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Originally posted by Teejay32
Whoa. I would think hard about that if I were them.

I don't see how it could hurt them. They need to get these kids away from this woman. I am not exaggerating when I say she is a lunatic. I really don't see how these kids will get by without some other positive influence in their life.

 

[Pin Wizard]

That's sickening! She's ruining a lot more than his life. Hoping they get the PI and it's admissable in court. Those poor kids!! And I mean because of the mother, not the accusations.

 

[Teejay32]

Originally posted by EsmeraldaX
I don't see how it could hurt them. They need to get these kids away from this woman. I am not exaggerating when I say she is a lunatic. I really don't see how these kids will get by without some other positive influence in their life.

I know, believe me. MIL and I both looked into going for temporary custody and that was well before charges of molestation. If his case is anything like this one, the kids are already well in the system - family court, court-appointed therapy, guardian ad litem, etc...it's a waste of time trying to keep them away from the mother's influence. It just won't happen. And since she is the most important part of the kids lives, the family will be opening itself up to more BS, whatever the mother can conjure up.

My DH said from the beginning "let them go, let her do what she wants", and these are his own brother's kids, one being our godchild. I thought he was the most heartless person in town then, but he was right...we had too much to lose here by getting involved in someone else's psychodrama.

They just have to be careful. That's all.

 

[CindysGusGus]

I didnt get a chance to read all the resposes so my apologies if this is a repeat. Isnt there a law in the state of MA that anyone on trial has the right to face his accuser?? Would that be the Mom in this intance as well as the child?? I know he didnt want to put the child through this but therapy in the end for her most likely will be better than him on a pedo list forever. I seem to remember watching American Justice and they had a case similar to this back in the early 80s at a daycare in MA. They had the children facing away from the defendant and it was reversed because the law stated that he had a right to face his accusers. If the poor little girl did have to get on stand she might be stronger than he thinks and let someone know that mommy coached her. I feel so bad for her and the 10 yo in this situation as well as your friend. No one should have their lives ruined by a lie. The "wife" knows where shes headed in the afterlife...shed better bring a fan!