9 yr old and adult sites? [long]

[mitushib]

Well I have a cousin who is 9 yrs old. I myself have a 3yr old son. I am about 18 yrs older than my cousin. Anyways this past week since my uncle had some overseas work and my aunt had to go to office my cousin came to stay with me for the whole week. This was a really good idea since my DS3 loves her a lot and they bascially keep each other company. I planned a lot of activities for both of them along with outings and all. Now my son naps about 2 hours each noon and this was time she had to herself. After the fifth day she asked me if she could use the computer during that time and I happily agreed. Anyways that evening when I sat down to use the net and used the drop down list of the explorer I saw names of many adult sites in them. I was really shocked. Did some research if an inappropriate popup banner had opened and she had clicked on them. I found that if we go thru a banner click it wont appear on the list. Only if it is typed can that happen. Now noone uses the computer but me. DH has his own setup and he ws not even at home. Anyways I kept any eye on her for the next 2 days so she did nto try anything else but I am more than convinced she visited these sites. Now I have always thought of her more like a daughter than a sister but now I am in a dilemma about what to do. She is here one more day. Do I confront her? Do I simply keep quiet about the matter? Do I talk to her mom or wait for my uncle to come back and speak to him [I am closer to him but am not sure I would be able to speak to him about this]?

Now my sister has her own computer setup with appropriate parental controls at home but she spends a lot of time in her room with the computer.

Sorry this went long. Need advice on what to do.

 

[CathrynRose]

She is here one more day. Do I confront her? Do I simply keep quiet about the matter? Do I talk to her mom or wait for my uncle to come back and speak to him [I am closer to him but am not sure I would be able to speak to him about this]?

Now my sister has her own computer setup with appropriate parental controls at home but she spends a lot of time in her room with the computer.

Sorry this went long. Need advice on what to do.

If it were me? I would completely and totally ask her about it. I'd ask her if she does it at home, and I'd ask her if she wanted her mom to find out....

Id figure out those things and from there I would decide to tell her mom or not.

Ill let her know how inappopriate it is, as well.

 

[mitushib]

Any idea on how to broach this with her?

 

[noseybuddy]

Well if they are in the drop down list, there is your proof. Did you delete the history? If not I would take her to the computer and confront her about it. I would tell her that this is something that she should not be looking at. I am sure she probably heard or seen about one of these websites and was curious. But I would same something to her and probably her parents.

 

[barkley]

i would talk to the parents first-i have grave concerns how/why a 9 year old girl is accessing adult sites. if the name of the sites had to be entered she obv. has prior knowledge of these sites and how to access them. if it were one site i could see where maybe a classmate became aware of it and "shared" the address (but honestly, i would think this would be more likely with young boys than young girls-kind of like passing around dad's copy of playboy ).

for the time being i would ban her from computer access in your home (no need to give a reason, your home your rules), then print up the history and arrange for a sit-down with the parent(s).

i don't want to alarm you, but i would be concerned about who has educated her regarding this-it is fairly common for a child sexual predator to expose children to this manner of material in order to "desensitize" them. as her parent i would be looking at what circumstances put her into contact with others outside of my supervision.

good luck-this is not a pretty situation.

 

[Aidensmom]

At some point, I got some kind of spyware or virus that PUT entries in that drop down box, I know they were not typed in. I am pretty computer savvy and still could not find a way to permanently get rid of them, they kept coming back. It was not until I reformatted my harddrive that they went away.

Do these sites show up in history at all?

 

[The Mystery Machine]

This is a "Red Flag" situation. I agree that it needs to be brought to the parents attention, privately. I think having them together to discuss is the best approach since this is very important to get to the bottom of it.
Working it out with the 9yo is the parents job.

Make sure you 100% confirm with your DH that he did not access any sites prior to confronting them.

 

[Marseeya]

At some point, I got some kind of spyware or virus that PUT entries in that drop down box, I know they were not typed in. I am pretty computer savvy and still could not find a way to permanently get rid of them, they kept coming back. It was not until I reformatted my harddrive that they went away.

Do these sites show up in history at all?

Oh yeah! And I've seen some that put sites in favorites too.

It still sounds like this kid did something she shouldn't have. Wow. My DD is 10 and I can't imagine her doing anything like that.

 

[mitushib]

Well I could'nt imagine her doing these too. I have checked with DH and knew the answer before I asked. He does not use my computer at all. I am pretty worried about confronting her in a wrong way and then putting her on the defensive for her parents. In ost other ways she is the normal 9 yr old infact at times she is moe innocent than many of her age group. I have no idea where she is getting this from. I went to one of the links and it is mostly a adult stories site rather than a picture one. dont know about the others though. Frankly I am upset this happened on my watch and also concerned abotu where this is leading. Her parents trust the parental controls on the computer she has but DH says the controls can be easily fooled. I will definitely tell her mom but am still debating about confronting her.