8/17/08 Captain Jack's Repossession Repo Cruise to PC thru TPC Part 5

[allshookup]

Here are some conversations that airline passengers normally will never hear. The following are accounts of actual exchanges between airline pilots and control towers from around the world:

Funny!!!

 

[yargrnhoj]

That was already cleared up. They aren't pooches....they are DAWGS!

I refuse to use that term. It reminds me too much of the University (sic) of Georgia and its "fans".

 

[captaincrash]

Tom your evil twin name is Captain Crunch------you always come in at crunch time ...

SO true!

Permit me to dispell these assumptions once and for all....

Captain Crunch is neither Evil nor a "crunch time" lurker... <chuckles> as evidenced by my prescence here now (a non-crunch time) and the image below with the fair weather Captain resisting ... "... the enemy..."

<chuckles>

However, I will admit that some have been known to confuse me with this "character"​

 

[sk8ingmom]

I agree. Do we have any mixologists out there who could suggest an appropriate drink for this group. (Difficulty: creating an appetizing alcoholic beverage containing marshmallow fluff).

And it must be red or black.

 

[yargrnhoj]

And it must be red or black.

Or lime green.

 

[wheelerkidz3]

crazy question...i haven't been able to follow this thread too closely..i really tried, but there is just no way!! so my question is: what is everyone here's occupation?? i'm sure it was asked thousand and thousands of posts back, but i'm outta the loop!
i do in home child daycare...and right now..kids are taking a very late nap do to play time outside earlier!!!

 

[lbgraves]

My spouse tells me I snore big time...

... once I awoke in FREE FALL!!!
....And then abruptly I landed on the floor!
I looked around and dimly I could see my spouse on our bed smiling like a wolf...
... she had just rolled me OFF the bed - and she explained my snoring was keeping her up!!!​

I haven't done that before...or yet anyway.

 

[Diznyfan68]

Here are some conversations that airline passengers normally will never hear. The following are accounts of actual exchanges between airline pilots and control towers from around the world:

===============
While taxiing at London Gatwick, the crew of a USAir flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727. An irate female ground controller lashed out at the USAir crew, screaming: "US Air 2771, where are you going?! I told you to turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right there. I know it's difficult for you to tell the difference between C' and D', but get it right!" Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically: "Now you've screwed everything up! It'll take forever to sort this out! You stay right there and don't move till I tell you to! You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got that, US Air 2771?"

"Yes, ma'am," the humbled crew responded.

Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate ground controller in her current state of mind. Tension in every cockpit out in Gatwick was definitely running high.
Just then an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone, asking: "Wasn't I married to you once?"

===============
Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on frequency 1247"
Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure. By the way, after we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway."
Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff behind Eastern 702, contact Departure on frequency 1247. Did you copy that report from Eastern 702?"
Continental 635: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes, we copied Eastern ... we've already notified our caterers"


===============
The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206:
Speedbird 206: "Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway."
Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven."
The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.
Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"
Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now."
Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?"
Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944 but I didn't stop."

===============
O'Hare Approach Control to a 747: "United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, three miles, eastbound."
United 239: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this... I've got the little Fokker in sight."

===============
A Pan Am 727 flight waiting for start clearance in Munich overheard the following:
Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?"
Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in English."
Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?"
Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): "Because you lost the bloody war!"

Do you know how hard it was for me to NOT laugh out loud?

 

[lbgraves]

Randy--I hate to break this to you, but Mom always did like Andy best...

So you are an instigator too, eh?

 

[lbgraves]

The kids should have been home 10 minutes ago.

 

[Diznyfan68]

crazy question...i haven't been able to follow this thread too closely..i really tried, but there is just no way!! so my question is: what is everyone here's occupation?? i'm sure it was asked thousand and thousands of posts back, but i'm outta the loop!
i do in home child daycare...and right now..kids are taking a very late nap do to play time outside earlier!!!

I don't think I ever answered this question before, so here goes - I'm the Finance Manager/Controller of a collectible doll company.

 

[yargrnhoj]

crazy question...i haven't been able to follow this thread too closely..i really tried, but there is just no way!! so my question is: what is everyone here's occupation?? i'm sure it was asked thousand and thousands of posts back, but i'm outta the loop!
i do in home child daycare...and right now..kids are taking a very late nap do to play time outside earlier!!!

I am a systems architect / product manager for a large telecommunications company based in the Chicago suburbs.

 

[lbgraves]

The kids should have been home 10 minutes ago.

No sooner did I enter this than I got a call from the school. They called to tell me that the driver forgot to drop off the kids & will be coming back by in 8- 10 minutes.

 

[Diznyfan68]

The kids should have been home 10 minutes ago.

Are you having bad weather down there today Lisa?

 

[yargrnhoj]

No sooner did I enter this than I got a call from the school. They called to tell me that the driver forgot to drop off the kids & will be coming back by in 8- 10 minutes.

I wonder how I get my kids' bus driver to forget to drop them off. I could use 20 minutes of extra quiet time tonight.

 

[Diznyfan68]

No sooner did I enter this than I got a call from the school. They called to tell me that the driver forgot to drop off the kids & will be coming back by in 8- 10 minutes.

How does the driver forget to drop off the kids?

 

[dh chrisva]

OH NO.... I half a half empty jar of the recalled Peter Pan Peanut Butter

And a full one in the Pantry....


Oh well say hello to the Trash Can....

 

[Enna]

The kids should have been home 10 minutes ago.

Oh no! Maybe the bus is just running late? Is there someplace you can call for more info?

Keeping my fingers crossed that they'll be walking in the door right this second.

 

[wheelerkidz3]

No sooner did I enter this than I got a call from the school. They called to tell me that the driver forgot to drop off the kids & will be coming back by in 8- 10 minutes.

yikes! the driver forgot to drop them?? oh my!

 

[Enna]

No sooner did I enter this than I got a call from the school. They called to tell me that the driver forgot to drop off the kids & will be coming back by in 8- 10 minutes.

How on earth does the driver forget a stop? Is it a substitute driver for some reason?