danfromca
Earned his ears, now wants yours
- Joined
- May 16, 2007
- Messages
- 1,481
Having read Laura's trip review about the Sierra Madre hike, I've come to realize that we all really need a translation guide for the Disney excursion descriptions. I humbly offer a beginning:
Journey by air-conditioned motor coach amidst lush vegetation, gentle rolling hills and sparkling seaside views
Your bus will be driving at high speeds on narrow winding roads just a few inches from a cliff.
to a secluded spot approximately 35 miles from the city center of Puerto Vallarta
To the middle of nowhere.
Breathe in the fresh air and experience a relaxing sense of calm during your approximate hour-long hike.
Gasp madly and enter an altered mental state brought about by exhaustion, dehydration and lack of oxygen.
Snap a picture from your special perch, go for a quick dip in a nearby riverbed.
Nobody else had the guts/was foolish enough to climb that high. The others tried, failed, and fell into the riverbed.
At the conclusion of your hike, savor the flavor of a quick snack at a local restaurant (the cheapest thing on the menu) , or cool off once again with a swim in the adjacent riverbed.
Did we mention the snack bar is at the edge of a cliff by a riverbed?
Abandon all worries as you gaze out upon the natural grandeur of Puerto Vallarta's distinctive landscape
Start the trip drunk, or end it in exhausted sleep -either way, you'll have no worries.
Upon your arrival, take in an informative demonstration on the age-old production of Mexico's signature spirit, from blue agave plant to fine liquor
After your five minute demonstration, feel free to enjoy 45 minutes in our souveneir shop. Or buy our tequila (see "abandon all worries").
Activity Level Key:
Mild: Kids in strollers, older folk and wheelchairs will assure a leisurely pace. Expect plenty of delays and opportunities to spend money.
Moderate: What most people would consider active. You'll probably work up a sweat and might occasionally be in fear of life and limb. But you will survive. Expect plenty of delays and opportunities to spend money.
Active: We aren't actually trying to kill you. Really we aren't. Expect plenty of stories about your excursion - mostly told onboard by those who either can't believe you actually did it, or are explaining why you aren't still with us. Expect plenty of delays and opportunities to spend money.
Other phrases:
Due to limited availability, guests are encouraged to book early
This either means: Book at 12:01 at the 90 day mark and hope for the best. Or - This is an "active" excursion and we only have a limited number of paramedics on hand. Or - This is a really expensive and profitable excursion and saying this will encourage more bookings.
Guests are encouraged to bring cash or credit cards to purchase optional extras, such as pictures and souvenirs.
Expect plenty of delays and opportunities to spend money.
(note - yes, I'm a wimp and do tend to book DCL excursions. Sure they cost more, but it's peace of mind and low stress I'm buying - but knowing hot to read the descriptions definitely helps
).
Journey by air-conditioned motor coach amidst lush vegetation, gentle rolling hills and sparkling seaside views
Your bus will be driving at high speeds on narrow winding roads just a few inches from a cliff.
to a secluded spot approximately 35 miles from the city center of Puerto Vallarta
To the middle of nowhere.
Breathe in the fresh air and experience a relaxing sense of calm during your approximate hour-long hike.
Gasp madly and enter an altered mental state brought about by exhaustion, dehydration and lack of oxygen.
Snap a picture from your special perch, go for a quick dip in a nearby riverbed.
Nobody else had the guts/was foolish enough to climb that high. The others tried, failed, and fell into the riverbed.
At the conclusion of your hike, savor the flavor of a quick snack at a local restaurant (the cheapest thing on the menu) , or cool off once again with a swim in the adjacent riverbed.
Did we mention the snack bar is at the edge of a cliff by a riverbed?
Abandon all worries as you gaze out upon the natural grandeur of Puerto Vallarta's distinctive landscape
Start the trip drunk, or end it in exhausted sleep -either way, you'll have no worries.
Upon your arrival, take in an informative demonstration on the age-old production of Mexico's signature spirit, from blue agave plant to fine liquor
After your five minute demonstration, feel free to enjoy 45 minutes in our souveneir shop. Or buy our tequila (see "abandon all worries").
Activity Level Key:
Mild: Kids in strollers, older folk and wheelchairs will assure a leisurely pace. Expect plenty of delays and opportunities to spend money.
Moderate: What most people would consider active. You'll probably work up a sweat and might occasionally be in fear of life and limb. But you will survive. Expect plenty of delays and opportunities to spend money.
Active: We aren't actually trying to kill you. Really we aren't. Expect plenty of stories about your excursion - mostly told onboard by those who either can't believe you actually did it, or are explaining why you aren't still with us. Expect plenty of delays and opportunities to spend money.
Other phrases:
Due to limited availability, guests are encouraged to book early
This either means: Book at 12:01 at the 90 day mark and hope for the best. Or - This is an "active" excursion and we only have a limited number of paramedics on hand. Or - This is a really expensive and profitable excursion and saying this will encourage more bookings.
Guests are encouraged to bring cash or credit cards to purchase optional extras, such as pictures and souvenirs.
Expect plenty of delays and opportunities to spend money.
(note - yes, I'm a wimp and do tend to book DCL excursions. Sure they cost more, but it's peace of mind and low stress I'm buying - but knowing hot to read the descriptions definitely helps
).
Been there done that (in Costa Maya)- so I know what that wander stuff means. LOL If you see a lot of the word "wander" repeatedly in the excursion description- that means you're paying to walk around the entire time. LOL
and prayers to everyone who is going to need it today
aboard to all the newbies.
(it had to do with the points we bought..we did not win anything) We are so excited! They were doing only 15 nights this summer and we got one of them! I was checking out the dates to see if one fell about the 15th or 16th of August (party in the penthouse!) but no luck. We are going the evening of July 12th! 
I only stayed open for 4 hours today. My grand total for my slush fund or lush fund for Toal from my gargae sale is 
+ baggage fees. I agree with Tom and don't advise AA. We would have done SW except we have school starting the next day and want to get home as fast as we can.
