5th grade "dates"

[AustinTink]

My son told me today that three "couples" in his 5th grade class went on a movie and mall date last weekend. They were all dropped off. These kids are 10 and 11 years old. WTH??? My kid isn't even allowed to go to the mall with friends yet. The boys in this story are the three worst kids in the class (actually the whole school). Bad words, sexual talk at school the whole bit. But, the girls, I know their mothers and I thought they were smarter than this.

This is just too weird to me. I didn't date until I was a freshman in high school. Would you let your 10 or 11 year old go on a mall date?

 

[ncmickeyluvr]

My dd is 10 and in the 4th grade....and I don't even let her go to the bathroom in the Mall alone I don't know anyone who does. There also isn't a decent mall in town, so that may have something to do with it.

Around here they have elementary school dances once a month. A club at the high school uses it as a fundraiser and 3rd,4th, and 5th graders from the 3 elementary schools that feed into that hs can go. I let DD go to one this year....until I found out that a few of her friends were "making out" with their "boyfriends" and that a boy pulled a knife on another boy in the bathroom Strangely, she didn't even fight me when I told her she couldn't go to another....think she was as freaked out as I was!

 

[dislaney]

No way no how! That is way too young.

 

[laurie31]

Yes, this is going on with my 5th grade DD and NO, I would not let her "date" or drop her off anywhere, even with a friend. I just now started dropping off 8th grade DD at the movie with a friend! (and that was a matinee!! )


This started with my older DD around April or May of 5th grade, but with my younger one, it's been since September of 5th grade. These kids are getting dropped off at the movie together, dropped off at high school football games together (where one couple was supposedly seen French kissing behind the bleachers, according to the 5th grade rumor mill ) and all other kinds of things that are just totally inappropriate for kids this young. If they're going to 2nd base in 5th grade, what are the chances they'll be pregnant by 8th grade?

DD told me a week or so ago that a boy had asked her out, but she told him no. She knows she is not allowed to date in elementary school!!! Even my DD13 is not allowed to date. She has been to a school dance, and danced with several different boys as friends, not "boyfriends."

What's going to be left for them to experience in high school if they've already been dating for years by the time they get there?

 

[shelly3girls]

I wouldn't allow it but I really don't think DD would have any interest anyway. She is mature for her age and thinks that boys are just not worth her time. Honestly at 10 and 11 the boys are still very immature.

 

[cheermom1]

NO way did I let my kids do that!! I let them group date at 14 but they really didn;t even do that...I let them date at 16 ..if they start so young I agree with a pp that said they will have nothing to experience in high school...

 

[mumom95]

My DS10 is in the fourth grade, and just about the last thing he would ever want to do at this point would be get dropped off at the mall with a girl

But even if he did, no, I wouldn't allow it. In my opinion, some things can just wait.

 

[brittanyherndon]

The way my mom did it is we would meet up with him and him mom and it was a group thing sorta

my point being is that why don't the two families hang out

 

[AustinTink]

The whole thing is just very, very sad to me. It's a childhood lost for these kids and the parents support it.

 

[Doe]

I think it's sad too. That's the grade when my kids classmates started going on "dates". Sadly, there is a 12 year old girl in my 7th graders class that is pregnant. Kids are not ready under any circumstances to be dating at such an early age.

 

[FireDancer]

I had a "date" when I was in either 5th or 6th grade. Sadly it went better then some of my recent dating adventures.

 

[disykat]

Although my own kids didn't get dropped off without a parent until they were in junior high, I do wonder if the girl's parents KNEW there were going to be boys there?

When I was a kid, I was dropped off for the first time at a matinee with my girlfriend when I was in 5th grade. Unbeknownst to me, two boys were coming. We sat boy/girl/boy/girl. To my knowledge, my parents never found out, but they did figure out pretty quickly not to be totally trusting of my friend!

 

[heatherleigh]

That terrifies me. I know things are different now than they were back in my day, but I think that's exactly what scares me!

There was a dance-area at a school carnival when my son was in kindergarten, but it was very tame. The "older" kids were the main ones dancing, but there were grown-ups everywhere and the lights were on so it was innocent. Ugh, I hate having to look fwd to this stuff so soon.

 

[shortbun]

My son and his friends did similar stuff but at that age we moms tagged along and made it a social gathering for ourselves as well....and the kids thought it was all for them, lol! Seriously though, at the movies, the boys sat away from the girls. It was only when we'd go to lunch that the kids actually sat at their own table and connected. I would never have just dropped my son off in 5th grade.

 

[HeatherC]

Oh yeah..that goes on around here too. I think it is totally ridiculous.

I have a good friend who's son is a year older than mine. He's in 6th grade now. Last year he had a "girlfriend" who they would encourage them to go on "dates" with, buy gifts for each other and they even invited the kid for Christmas Day!

Now my son is in 5th grade and so far has shown no interest in girls. But even if he did, they can talk at school and wave to each other at a basketball game. I'm not encouraging the dating thing yet.

I think most of this is the parents encouraging it. After all, most 5th grade boys I know have not gone through puberty yet. Which means their hormones are not going girl crazy as of yet.

Personally, I think parents are pushing them to grow up way too fast and the innocence of childhood gets lost along the way.

 

[mamamary]

Oh no way would it be allowed. Luckily my 5th gr. dd would have no interest yet anyway

I have a 12 year old son in middle school and it amazes me all the dating that goes on with his friends and others in school - luckily he hasn't shown any interest in that either.

 

[SydSim]

I am a firm believer in taking things slowly, so that kids have something to build up to. DD-13 just started going to matinees with her girlfriends. We have told her that she won't be allowed to boy/girl alone date for a couple of years - she has known this for quite some time. The big thing around here is having a "date" for the 8th grade dance. I told her that people have 8th grade "dates" just so that they can say they had a date for the dance. If both parents are dropping off their kids at a school function, everyone is gathered together in the gym and dancing, eating and taking pics, then I don't consider that to be a date. She looked at me like I had two heads

Go ahead, think that you have a date if you wanna - that's some kinda date

 

[PatsGirl]

DD is almost 13 and in the 7th grade and quite honestly is having a difficult time finding other girls who are not allowed to date, be dropped off at the mall, stay up all night on the phone, etc....it's difficult to maintain your friendship circle if you can't find others with comparable restrictions. She does have two very good friends but I've watched the circle get smaller and smaller in the last two years.

 

[happygirl]

To young in my opinion.

 

[chicagodisneyfan]

It is too young to date, but at 5th grade kids here are taking public transportation to school, or walking alone.

Movies too at that age - as long as they are in a group.