5 year old girl with highlights...

[Alice's Mom]

I picked up my daughter from afterschool YMCA yesterday and I was warned by the Counselor that Alice along with a couple of other little girls are going to ask for highlights, because another little girl, 5 years old, now has blonde, highlighted hair.

Indeed my daughter (also 5) asked to have her hair done. I explained that she has beautiful, naturally highlighted hair and that it was very expensive and something we could not do until she is much older. This bothered her a lot and she went into her room to read and play.

I saw the little girls hair this morning and it really is gorgeous, and it was odd that I wanted to ask where she had it done.

There is no way I would ever consider doing this for her, especially since I haven't done my own hair in years. I just can't believe how high the bar has been set in Kindergarten...every morning after my daughter gets dressed she asks me if she looks cool. Cool didn't enter my world until much later in grade school. I thought I would have to wait another 5 years for such requests as highlighted hair and Roxy clothes.

Now I have to keep up with the Jones' Kids...anyone else have this issue arise??

 

[Brier Rose]

My DD is having her hair highlighted for the first time tomorrow. She's 14, and I wondered if she was too young to start! LOL
Her hair has gotten so dark over the last couple of years, I do think it will look nice with the highlights, but I can't say that I'm looking forward to keeping it up. I'm bad about having my own hair colored on a regular basis!

All I can say is I feel your pain!

 

[CEDmom]

Luckily my DD who's in 1st grade kind of dances to her own beat. I love that she's not concerned with being like everyone else at this point. I do remember when she was about 3 and having her haircut she asked if she could have pink hair. My hairdresser quietly said she had stuff that would wash out if I wanted it. She put just a little in and DD was over the moon with just this little bit of attention. There is stuff you could buy and do it yourself if you just wanted to have a little fun.

As far as keeping up with the Joneses I just laugh as I take all the money we don't spend on showy stuff to the bank.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

5 years old?? What freak of a parent let her do that?!

 

[noseybuddy]

Getting highlights at 5 yrs old is ridiculous. First of all it damages your hair, making it dry. Why would someone want to do that to a 5 yr old. Makes no sense.

 

[Lyn5]

Last weekend we were in the ER with my DD, she cut her chin and needed a few stitches...poor girl. Anyway, in the bed next to us there was a boy, around 2, who I guess had a really nasty rash. The doctor game in and immediately asked the mother if she highlighted his hair and asked how she did it (what type of chemical) The doctor was very professional, but you could tell he was upset by this and even asked the dad if he was o.k. with this sort of thing. The doctor went on to talk about all the possible things that the child could have been exposed to to get the rash, but it seemed like the highlighting was the inferred culprit. Poor little boy needed to get 2 shots and a week of benedryl and some kind of steroid medicine. Uggh, I felt so bad for the baby I think in some cases it is o.k. to highlight/perm a kid's/teenager's hair....but a 2 year old boy just seemed really extreme. He couldn't even have asked for it done since he hardly spoke

 

[luvmydogs]

When I used to teach 3 and 4 yr. olds, some girls (although not many) would talk about how you're "not pretty" unless you have a certain haircolor, wear makeup or are thin--sometimes this would make other little ones upset or cry. We could talk to them until we were blue about how they were sweet, kind, beautiful little girls regardless of their haircolor, etc..., but honestly, we often wondered how talk like this would translate into body image issues as they got older.

Wash-out funky colors I think would be fun to do with a little girl--like having a 'girl's night' with Mom; but there's no way I'd permanently highlight a 5 yr. old's hair.

 

[Lyn5]

When I used to teach 3 and 4 yr. olds, some girls (although not many) would talk about how you're "not pretty" unless you have a certain haircolor, wear makeup or are thin--sometimes this would make other little ones upset or cry. We could talk to them until we were blue about how they were sweet, kind, beautiful little girls regardless of their haircolor, etc..., but honestly, we often wondered how talk like this would translate into body image issues as they got older.

Wash-out funky colors I think would be fun to do with a little girl--like having a 'girl's night' with Mom; but there's no way I'd permanently highlight a 5 yr. old's hair.

I have a 3 year old and a 5 year old and I wonder about the things the kids say at school and it seems that a lot of it might be from what they pick up at home....my DS has come home with a few words I know we don't use in our house

 

[Buckalew11]

You know, I do hair for a living and I would never consider highlighting a 5yos hair. I honestly believe that if someone wants to do it they'll do it but I couldn't feel good about myself if I was highlighting children's hair. I don't want anyone's money that much.

Recently I received a haircoloring magazine that was telling pros how to sell to kids, teens and their parents. ugh.

As far as keeping up with the Jones', I am of the thought that you only have to "keep up" if YOU want to keep up. No one makes you. You give in to the "peer pressure" just like kids do. I think you should show your DD how to stand up to some of that pressure. Kids are exposed to stuff like this way too some these days (Oh, and i use the word "you" as a general "you"--not the OP)

 

[poochie]

I can beat that, at a Bridal Fair two weeks ago. My daughter was told by a hairdresser that they can add hair extensions to babies so they look special for the wedding.

Like they are not beautiful enough!!! What are we coming to when we need to do something like that to a baby!!!!!

 

[Sparx]

omg. I'm fourteen and I have friends who've never seen my natural hair color, but I mean really. shes five! When I was five I was a blonde. Now my natural color is a light brown. Her hair will change color. I can't believe someone would do that. Shes so little, it could permanatly damage her hair.

 

[C.Ann]

Last summer, up to the lake, the mom of an 8 year old was highlighting her DD's hair (she's the DGD of my friends and believe me, they were NOT happy about it) and my then 6 yr. old DGD came running to ask her Mom & Dad if she could have it done too.. They said no (along with their reasons why) and she just cried and cried and cried.. It was tough to watch, but sometimes "no" is the only appropriate answer..

 

[Cindyluwho]

EEEEKKKK!!! I'm a bad parent! Our neighbor owns an upscale hair salon and she and her husband have 4 kids. There is always some kind of hair foiling, nail polishing thing going on over there with the kids, the hubbie, etc. My daughter was only 5 the first time she joined in. She had my permission, it was done professionaly, even though it was done in her home, I was there - it was for FUN! My DD is now turning 12 and she still has her hair foiled every 6 months. It's such a small amount that the grow-out doesn't even show. BTW-she's been getting pedicures since she was 5 also. On the other hand, she has no desire to wear make-up, likes to study, has great manners, has lots of friends and isn't interested in boys yet (thank you God!!)
It's just not that big of deal to me.
IMPORTANT NOTE: one halloween we used the wash out haircolor. My DD got the worst rash all over her head, very painful. Be careful with that stuff, too.

 

[mamacatnv]

Buckalew11

How well said.

My DD is 7 and I am always floored at the things she comes home with regarding clothes, weight, boys, hair etc.... We are fairly strict and spend a lot of time discussing modesty and little girls vs. big girls. Personally I think hair is fun and I am not against doing things with hair as it is hair and it will fade, grow out or can always be cut off. It is not something I would pay for at this age but when I get my hair done it is not unusual for my hair gal to also put a couple of foils in my DD's hair if she is with me. I also buy the wash out stuff and for christmas DD got some glitter hair gel.

A couple of years back our local college made it to the NCAA basketball championships and our governor declared a Friday "UNR Blue day" I let my son 14, bleach out the top of his hair and die it bright blue. My DH was having fits, but its only hair and he got over it.

MamaCatNV

 

[Buckalew11]

EEEEKKKK!!! I'm a bad parent! Our neighbor owns an upscale hair salon and she and her husband have 4 kids. There is always some kind of hair foiling, nail polishing thing going on over there with the kids, the hubbie, etc. My daughter was only 5 the first time she joined in. She had my permission, it was done professionaly, even though it was done in her home, I was there - it was for FUN! My DD is now turning 12 and she still has her hair foiled every 6 months. It's such a small amount that the grow-out doesn't even show. BTW-she's been getting pedicures since she was 5 also. On the other hand, she has no desire to wear make-up, likes to study, has great manners, has lots of friends and isn't interested in boys yet (thank you God!!)
It's just not that big of deal to me.
IMPORTANT NOTE: one halloween we used the wash out haircolor. My DD got the worst rash all over her head, very painful. Be careful with that stuff, too.

I don't think this makes you a bad parent. We all make these decisions for our own DDs (and DSs) but I do think it sends a message to little girls about their looks and how important it is to look "right" etc. And at 5 it is highlights and at 10 it moves on to other things. I'm just personally against it and won't do it. That's my decision and the parents make their decision. We all raise girls differently. But as a professional, I often have to make the decision to go along with someone else's decision and so far, have stuck to my guns.

 

[chobie]

EEEEKKKK!!! I'm a bad parent! Our neighbor owns an upscale hair salon and she and her husband have 4 kids. There is always some kind of hair foiling, nail polishing thing going on over there with the kids, the hubbie, etc. My daughter was only 5 the first time she joined in. She had my permission, it was done professionaly, even though it was done in her home, I was there - it was for FUN! My DD is now turning 12 and she still has her hair foiled every 6 months. It's such a small amount that the grow-out doesn't even show. BTW-she's been getting pedicures since she was 5 also. On the other hand, she has no desire to wear make-up, likes to study, has great manners, has lots of friends and isn't interested in boys yet (thank you God!!)
It's just not that big of deal to me.
IMPORTANT NOTE: one halloween we used the wash out haircolor. My DD got the worst rash all over her head, very painful. Be careful with that stuff, too.

I wouldn't call you a bad mom for highlighting a 5 year old's hair anymore than I would call someone a bad mom for having a child who wore "plus" size clothes.

 

[golfgal]

There is a mom I know that had her then kindergartner in getting the girl's hair highlighted when I was having my hair done. The girl was squirming and whining the whole time and the mom was yelling at her. WHY would you do that to a kid????? Heck, I can hardly sit for the time it takes to have my hair done and I am a lot older then 5.

 

[bettyann29]

Why in the world would someone do that? Makes no sense

 

[WatchinCaptKangaroo]

I think doing it to have fun such as Cindyluwho does vs. someone who does it to be cool such as the OPs daughters classmate is a world of difference. I'd be concerned for the body image the little girl in the OP is going to have becuase it's being done to be cool because now she is equating hair looks to beauty and coolness where as Cindyluwhos daughters are equating hair stuff to fun.

 

[urglewurgle]

I think doing it to have fun such as Cindyluwho does vs. someone who does it to be cool such as the OPs daughters classmate is a world of difference. I'd be concerned for the body image the little girl in the OP is going to have becuase it's being done to be cool because now she is equating hair looks to beauty and coolness where as Cindyluwhos daughters are equating hair stuff to fun.

just what i was going to say... there's a difference between a little girl playing and wanting to join in with the bigger girls... and a little girl who thinks she has to have it done to "be pretty" and have friends etc.

geez... i wasn't even BOTHERED about fashion or anything until i was about 13... and now... 5yos! (btw i'm only 22).. what is the world coming to?!?