4th baby shower

[jjj444]

Anyone ever get invited to a baby shower for a couple's fourth kid? This was an oops baby and they had sold all their stuff and now need everything again. Does this seem right? Why should I have to pay for your selling all your stuff in the first place? Am I being mean? What are your opinions? They even registered!

 

[marshallandcartersmo]

Anyone ever get invited to a baby shower for a couple's fourth kid? This was an oops baby and they had sold all their stuff and now need everything again. Does this seem right? Why should I have to pay for your selling all your stuff in the first place? Am I being mean? What are your opinions? They even registered!

You don't have to pay for anything. If you're so against it, don't go.

This is one of my giant pet peeves. I don't care if it's a shower for your 15th kid. A baby is a baby is a baby..........why should the 12th baby get any less of a celebration of new life than the first one?? Sure, they might not need a crib after the first baby........they may not "need" a dang thing. But I consider a shower to be celebration of new life, not "come and bring me a present".

 

[java]

I too look at showers as a celebration of a baby. My friend has demanded that we do not throw her one (this is her 3rd child- but her youngest is 12 now so she needs stuff!) So I think after she has the baby she may go along with a "party" .

I think if that is the way you feel about it- don't go. I would be thrilled for a friend having a baby and would be getting them a gift anyway.
How do you know it was an oops baby? That is one of my peeves. Why is it an oops-just because you got rid of your stuff?

 

[NMAmy]

You don't have to pay for anything. If you're so against it, don't go.

This is one of my giant pet peeves. I don't care if it's a shower for your 15th kid. A baby is a baby is a baby..........why should the 12th baby get any less of a celebration of new life than the first one?? Sure, they might not need a crib after the first baby........they may not "need" a dang thing. But I consider a shower to be celebration of new life, not "come and bring me a present".

I am SO glad to hear someone else say this because I feel the same way. And not because I have a house full of kids myself--I just have one. But I send gifts to every family member and friend who has a new baby whether they have a shower or not. And when they have siblings, I send Big Brother or Big Sister gifts, too.

I think having a baby is reason enough for me to send a gift, no matter how many kids they have.

But...to the OP...if you don't like the idea, then just send your regrets.

 

[lulugirl]

You don't have to pay for anything. If you're so against it, don't go.

What she said

 

[nicolemomof4cuties]

I think that it is OK for the to have another baby shower. My friends and family had a baby shower for each and every one of my dear children because they felt that very child was a reason to celebrate. The first baby we recieved mostly necessties but for my 2DD's we recieved beautiful dresses and diapers and outfits for them for up to age 3 along with some toys and nesseccities. My 4th child was a miracle baby- we were told that I absolutely could not have any more children so we had given ALL of our baby things away to other people who needed them. When we found out that I was pregnant with him we were ecstatic to say the least! My family and friends had a surprise shower for us and bought us quite alot of the larger and smaller things but we had already purchased a crib, crib set, stroller, car seat, and swing. They may have put those items on the registry because they knew someone was having a shower for them and knew that a family member may purchase them and not know what they want. I DIDN'T register and recieved a MILLION phone calls asking me which kind of bouncy seat or which kind of bottle or pack n play I liked- you name it I was asked..... with 3 other kids at home I was going a little . LOL!
Nicole

 

[HelenePA]

if you dont want to celebrate that's fine.. my inlaws were against me having a shower for my son. I had one anyway.. they just choose not to celebrate with any of my friends or family. It was a very tough time for me I had just lost my mom and they did this to cheer me up. Plus after 5 years 2 girls I needed some new stuff for my son (ie crib sheets, clothes) I had a great time, poo on them for not coming. Of course they have seen him a total of 5 times in 2 years so I guess they weren't only against me having a shower but against me having him as well.. If you feel like only first babies deserve only a party and a small present dont go. Please dont spoil the fun for the parents!

 

[Aye Sea Turtles]

Why should I have to pay for your selling all your stuff in the first place?

As previous posters have said, you're probably better off sending your regrets. It sounds like this has gotten under your skin a little.

 

[Laura]

Baby showers are for when the parents do need all the baby stuff; it's not intended to celebrate the baby. For example, you'd have one for a first baby or if there's been a long period between the youngest and the newest baby. I buy people stuff for subsequent children's births, like clothes or a toy or something. But that's not a baby shower, and I'll do that after the baby's born, whether I attended a shower or not. You don't need to buy a couple a bath set, a baby monitor, a changing table, a crib, a stroller, etc etc etc for every child they have.

In this case, I would probably attend the shower. It wouldn't hurt me to give them a little something, especially since they thought they were done and got rid of all their stuff. I'm sure they didn't sell their old stuff for as much money as they'd need to buy all new stuff.

 

[HelenePA]

one question.. how old is their first child? that means that "stuff" is also that old.. some stuff does get worn out and replaced. Car seats expire, you should replace your crib mattress after each child. Stuff gets stained.. I dont get why this bothers some people?? Oh and for registering.. if she didnt I bet people would buy her stuff she didn't want or need, then what? she's stuck with stuff she can't/won't use.. better to KNOW what she needs/wants than get her stuff that will just sit around.

 

[RadioNate]

I just wanted to say how sweet some of these posts are to me.

I'm currently due in 6 weeks with #2. DS is 6 and we have next to nothing left. I'm not having a shower and no one has offered. While it isn't all about the presents for me, we've already gotten all the big stuff we need ourselves, I wish someone other than DH, DS and I wanted to celebrate this baby.

It has made me sad because I always want to celebrate new lives. It is just somehow reassuring to me that other people think new babies are something to be exited about. That's all.

As for the OP. Just decline the invite if you think it is 'too much.'

 

[helenabear]

I guess I don't have much of an issue with baby showers for subsequent babies. I've helped throw small ones for friends before even if it wasn't their first. Then again I LOVE buying baby stuff!!!! And I would buy for the baby anyway no matter what This reminds me I need to give the gift for a friend who had a baby not too long ago

I think if you have issues with it, then I wouldn't go. Again I have a tendency to buy gifts for babies no matter which order they were born. If they have a shower they usually get a shower gift and then an after birth gift or food (depending on which they seem to need more of). If they don't, they usually get one really nice gift after birth

 

[NMAmy]

I just wanted to say how sweet some of these posts are to me.

I'm currently due in 6 weeks with #2. DS is 6 and we have next to nothing left. I'm not having a shower and no one has offered. While it isn't all about the presents for me, we've already gotten all the big stuff we need ourselves, I wish someone other than DH, DS and I wanted to celebrate this baby.

It has made me sad because I always want to celebrate new lives. It is just somehow reassuring to me that other people think new babies are something to be exited about. That's all.

As for the OP. Just decline the invite if you think it is 'too much.'

Alison: Congratulations on your new little bundle of joy!

 

[marshallandcartersmo]

Baby showers are for when the parents do need all the baby stuff; it's not intended to celebrate the baby. For example, you'd have one for a first baby or if there's been a long period between the youngest and the newest baby. I buy people stuff for subsequent children's births, like clothes or a toy or something. But that's not a baby shower, and I'll do that after the baby's born, whether I attended a shower or not. You don't need to buy a couple a bath set, a baby monitor, a changing table, a crib, a stroller, etc etc etc for every child they have.

In this case, I would probably attend the shower. It wouldn't hurt me to give them a little something, especially since they thought they were done and got rid of all their stuff. I'm sure they didn't sell their old stuff for as much money as they'd need to buy all new stuff.

In which Bible is this written???

You write this like it's the end all know all of celebrations! For goodness sake, if someone wants to have a celebration for the birth of a baby, let them call it a shower if they want to. Get-together, party, celebration, shower, banquet.........doesn't matter what you call it, it's still a recognition of new life.

 

[Crankyshank]

Until I started posting on the DIS, I didn't have an inkling that subsequent child showers were so controversial. They're pretty status quo here. I just bought a gift for a 2nd baby shower this afternoon.

Like marshallandcartersmo said, every baby deserves to be celebrated. Whether or not you bring a gift is up to you.

 

[mickeyboat]

Around here it is pretty typical to do 1st baby showers, and then a second if there is a large gap in between kids. There would be a lot of grumbling about a second baby shower, within a couple of years of the first one, especially if the new baby was the same gender as another child of the couple.

There was a 10 year gap between my little brothers and my parents had just decided to sell all their baby stuff. It was a huge expense for them to re-buy everything, and it was very special to my mom that my her co-workers threw her a shower. I was also able to attend, and I really enjoyed it.

Denae

 

[talulabelle]

I don't have a problem with it if they don't have anything left, or if it has been a long time between babies. It's like they are starting again. I would be annoyed if they were throwing it for themselves, but if friends or family members want to do this for them, that is great.

I do have a problem with multiple showers for the same event that I get invited to all of them!!! Like if you had to go to 2 or three showers for the same baby. When my brother in law got married, there were 6 bridal showers for his fiancee and I was invited to all 6! First it started with the engagement parties. One for his family, one for her family, one that her mother's friends threw, one that her coworkers threw. All people weren't aware that there were other showers, and she was thrilled to have everyone of them and when the people wold ask her "who should we invite from your family?" she would invite the same people to all of them and never call to say, please don't bring a gift as you already got me one. It was awlful. At the time I was young, dumb and broke, and I got broker buying gifts. If it happened now, I would politly decline, and site the reason as "I already had the fortune of celebrating this engagement and presenting my gift". But at the time, I didn't want to hurt feelings and went to all of them. The bee0atch NEVER gave me a shower for anything, even though I gave her a baby shower with her first child and she dctated to me just how I should do everything, and how I should invite more people, etc. etc. etc.

 

[Regina]

I hosted a shower for a neighbor who had an 'oops' and didn't have her baby stuff any longer. We all had a great time, she got some much needed gifts and best of all, she had a baby girl after having two sons.

 

[MAKmom]

Anyone ever get invited to a baby shower for a couple's fourth kid? This was an oops baby and they had sold all their stuff and now need everything again. Does this seem right? Why should I have to pay for your selling all your stuff in the first place? Am I being mean? What are your opinions? They even registered!

Yes.

 

[Chicago526]

I can see doing a shower in this case, the kid was an "oops" and they need all the baby stuff all over again. Even if they'd kept most or all of the baby stuff from the three previous kids, a lot of it may have needed replacement anyway, after three kids a lot of their gear would be worn out!