40 Something - Why is life this difficult?

[Margie J]

I just got home after a BBQ with my College friends. OMG, everywhere you turned there was some difficult issue to face. It was great to see one another but hearing all this stuff is so hard.

In summary:

* One friend wants another child and her DH has said no way. They arrived and left separately and didn't really speak to one another. She was in tears when talking with another friend.
* Three of us have had parents pass on in the last six months.
* One friend just had his wife pass away and he is dealing with two little boys, a new home and no job.
* One spouse is causing tension between her DH and Brother In Law over issues dealing with her MIL.
* A couple people are so stressed out they want to give up their high tech jobs and work at Wal-Mart.
* One was complaining about her DH's siblings who beg for money to finance their own McMansions and lifestyle while they themselves are pinching pennies.

My head is spinning. Why does life get so crazy? I know we will get stronger as we get through all this but it's hard to see everyone hurting all at once.

Anyone else feel this way?

 

[Pop Daddy]

lol, enjoy it while you can, the next thing in line for us is the dirt nap

 

[AZKathy]

I just feel like I forget easier and I am tired more!

It sure is sad when our parents start passing........

 

[Val]

Remember when we all so badly wanted to be "grown ups".....guess it being grown up isn't so much fun! At my age I am starting to feel the in-between generation pinch. I am SO old as a the mom of a kindergartener and so young as the mom of a sophomore in high school! My grandmother needs me as much as my kids do. My DH's grandfather once told us that he was getting tired of livng at 90+ years old, right before he died. I can start to understand that and I don't like it! On the other hand, we have so much to look forward to....and we will have so much good health to do so much more than our parents. It is a mixed blessing.

Guess I am feeling particularly old tonight. Spent tonight at parent BINGO at our kid's school- and had a grand time (usually its on Fridays and full of little old ladies). Please shoot me when I start bringing troll dolls and playing 45 cards at a time! At least we play bingo a la BYOB!

We spend so much of our time in a hurry- and when we finally get to where we are hurrying too we are too busy to enjoy it. Life is short- bake cookies, sing to the radio, and carpe diem!

 

[Planogirl]

I suspect that a lot of the mid-life crisis changes come as a result of these events. Life can be awfully complicated in that 35-50 or so range, can't it?

 

[Mskanga]

It is distressing to see people you know go through things like this, but it also helps us to realize that those problems we think to be so bad, are not that bad after all.
Always look at the bright side, there's always someone in a worse situation than we are, as long as we are healthy, we can deal with whatever life throws our way.

 

[Pin Wizard]

I'm in my 40's and would MUCH rather be in my 20's again! But I want to take DS back there with me. The 40's get hairy. Don't like it at all!!

 

[Dan Murphy]

Wait till you are looking at 60. I do think any age has its frights, but we always do manage, and then look back, generally with good memories. {{Hugs}} Margie.

 

[Melora]

I can totally relate to Val when she talks about being old and young at the same time I am 38 and have a son who is heading into the air force. At the same time I have a toddler in diapers (2 different dads..FInally got it right this time! ) I have people look at me funny sometimes when I am out with my oldest and youngest as if they wonder if I robbed the cradle and had a kid with a kid, especially when the oldest is carrying the little one. (I guess I could pass for my early 30's and my son maybe if you looked at him sideways could pass for early 20's).

Anyway this is a tough time when you get right down to it.. you figure that what you are doing now you will be doing the rest of your life like it or not. And its also about the time some of us have to be dealing with parents. I lost my dad 12 years ago but now I am taking care of my mother. (I feel another thread coming on here...)

 

[Pin Wizard]

Originally posted by Dan Murphy
Wait till you are looking at 60.

I'm terrified to think of looking at 60. My parents weren't doing well at that age. I always get a kick out of my accountant...I should be putting something away for retirement. Retirement? Most of my family hasn't made it to retirement!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Originally posted by Margie J

My head is spinning. Why does life get so crazy? I know we will get stronger as we get through all this but it's hard to see everyone hurting all at once.

Anyone else feel this way?

NO! Thank goodness.....I had the "crazy life" a few years ago. (and I am not 40 yet, I will be 39 in Feb)
It was awful.
The good thing about it was (for us) issues were solved and things were put into perspective.
Now dh & I just deal with the 'normal' crazy of running our home and kids. We do like Mskanga said and try to find a reason or bright spot in our troubles.
It helps.

 

[Pin Wizard]

Originally posted by The Mystery Machine
We do like Mskanga said and try to find a reason or bright spot in our troubles.
It helps.

Bless the hearts of those who do it! I just can't find ANY bright spot with losing two parents, a sister, and a husband. My bright spot is my son. That's about it. Also, I'm in my 40's and back in school...not putting up with the job I had for 8 years!

 

[Grog]

I'm in my 40's and would MUCH rather be in my 20's again!

Same here, but only if I could do so with the knowledge and life experience I have at 40

 

[lisajl]

I think for me it was rougher in my mid 20's. My husband and I had been married a little over a year and our DD came along shortly after that.
We had no money, stressed out cause we had moved to a new town and did not know anyone.

Now that I am 41, I am back in my hometown, like where I work, my DH and I get along wonderfully.

My dad died when I was 15, so I worked through that a long time ago. My mom is 83 and in pretty good health. Don't worry about her too much.
Last year I lost my wonderful sister in law to cancer, she was only 48.

So, all my life I have lost people I love. A week before my dad died my mom's sister passed away. It was her only sibling.
Then my dad died, then 2 months later my favorite great aunt passed away. 15 years old was a bad time for me.
I think someone upstairs is telling me to enjoy life and get everything out of it you can.

Two of my three kids are like that. Attack life, enjoy it, cause you never know what is around the corner.

Take a deep breath....life is good.

Lisa

 

[nativetxn]

My 40's were pretty good years. Too bad they are long gone, now

 

[Lynn CC]

I always say, the day is what you make it, we all choose what we will endure during the day. I just feel grateful to wake up each morning. I can't understand why some people thrive on negativity. If it's a health issue that's one thing, but everything else has a way of working itself out one way or the other.