From Boy Scout Troop 33 in DeKalb IL. Zurg, one is for the Grey Side.
1. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
2. Don't worry about what people think; they don't do it very often.
3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. It's how you live your life that counts.
4. There are two theories about winning arguments with women. Neither one works.
5. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
6. There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
13. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
15. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
20. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
21. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
22. Thou shall not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
23. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
24. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
25. If at first you don't succeed, avoid skydiving.
26. Once you finally get it idiot-proof, they invent a better idiot.
27. Three things are certain; death, taxes, and lost data.
28. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
29. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
30. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
31. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
32. Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach him to fish, and he sits in a boat drinking beer all day.
33. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
1. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
2. Don't worry about what people think; they don't do it very often.
3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. It's how you live your life that counts.
4. There are two theories about winning arguments with women. Neither one works.
5. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
6. There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
13. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
15. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
20. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
21. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
22. Thou shall not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
23. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
24. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
25. If at first you don't succeed, avoid skydiving.
26. Once you finally get it idiot-proof, they invent a better idiot.
27. Three things are certain; death, taxes, and lost data.
28. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
29. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
30. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
31. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
32. Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach him to fish, and he sits in a boat drinking beer all day.
33. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
Made me smile.
