3 yo preschool, need advice!!

[Carrie Ellis]

I don't have faces with names...but I feel like there are lot of wise people on these boards! I hope you do not mind me asking a nondisney question. I have to decide by tomorrow.

I am in such a quandry tonight about my twins starting a co-op preschool. Has anyone out there in Dis land enrolled their child in a co-op?

Our neighbor across the street teaches at this school and really really wanted my twins to join. She even got her husband to take off work and stand in line the day enrollment started. I really did not know what I was getting into and it did look like a "cute" school.

I have now ended up with membership and fundraiser (because I have 2 in) and boy is it a lot more hassle then I ever expected. Plus we are suppose to work as a teacher's helper every 6 weeks (which will double for me), attend field trip and attend a member meeting every month.
Tuition is about $20 less per month than a non co-op.

Oh, and I must say, I have already put in a lot of time with this. Phone calls, emails, I am basically running the preschool (as far as membership and keeping it full) and not getting paid. This would be a good thing for a SAHM with one child.

This will be for my 3 year old twins for preschool on Tues and Thursday for 3 hours.

I work for the gov't out of the home part time. So now on top of 4 kids, work, and normal stuff, I have this. I feel like I have hit my limit and would not volunteer for anything else, including church stuff.

How do you feel about having your 3 year olds go to "school"? Around here a lot of people do. I was 5 before I ever saw a school!!

I have talked to my husband and he thinks it is too much to do, at least for me.

If you take the time to give me your thought, I am so grateful!!

 

[LisaZoe]

My DD will be 3 at the end of October. Right now, she is in a great in-home daycare situation. Because of her birthday, she won't be able to go to kindergarten until she's almost 6. I think she'd be ready before then but I also think it will be good for her to wait. I am considering pre-school for her next year and wondered how a co-op works. After reading your post, I will definitely think twice before making such a commitment.

I guess a lot depends on the pre-school. My sister's oldest went to one at 3 and then at 4 but DSis took him out after a few weeks the 2nd year because he was crying about having to go. He said it was boring (well, maybe not in those words). DSis decided she didn't want him to hate "school" before he got there so didn't make him go back.

Around here, it seems like most people wait until their kids are 4. Definitely a lot depends on your children's maturity level. I guess for me, DD will have many years of school ahead of her so one extra year of "slacking" )) won't hurt.

 

[#1MusicMom]

By no means am I an expert, but I will give you my thoughts. I am an elementary music teacher and have 3 children of my own. (DD8, DS6, DS4) All three of my children went to preschool when they turned 4. My daughter has a summer birthday, but I knew from observing children in my classroom, that she would definitely be ready for kindergarten when she turned 5.

My boys are another story. DS6 has a late May birthday and I knew when he was 3 that we would wait and send him to kindergarten when he turned 6. We are doing the same thing with my youngest son. Both boys, have or will attend preschool for two years. If I had started them when they were 3 years old, they would have been in preschool for 3 years and I didn't think that was necessary.

Things to think about:
Can you imagine your twins in kindergarten when they are 5 or will you wait and send them when they are 6?

Whether their age is a part of your decision, I believe that if there is any doubt about sending them, no matter the reason, then wait. They are young and you shouldn't feel pressured into making them attend the preschool.

The one thing that frustrates me as a teacher, is when parents say, "I'm not sure if I should send my child to kindergarten." If there is any doubt what so ever, keep them home one more year. It will never hurt the child and can only benefit them.

I know I got a little off the subject, but I believe there is a reason for that doubting feeling we get. Trust yourself! No matter what you decide to do, things will work out in the end.

Good luck!

 

[Wish I lived in Fl]

I do volunteer work but it is the kind of work i enjoy. Cooking big meals for church functions, tutoring English as a Second Language etc. I also do some fundraising for church as just necessary.

This doesn't sound like you enjoy it but that you got roped in by an enthusiastic neighbor. It could be a bad year! Back out now!

I lost a best friend when she volunteered both of us to run an auction. I didn't back out. But it didn't work out either. She was so ticked at me she refused to reimburse me for half of the refreshments i had purchased for the auction at her order. I was so ticked at her we didn't speak for 18 months untill our husbands lied and told each of us that the other wanted to make up. It was still never the same.

Also i am not sending 3 yr. old DD to preschool this year. $150/month for two 3 hr sessions is too much money. We will just do playgroups , dance class and a babysitting Coop with educational tapes as a splurge.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Hi Carrie, so we meet again...

I did have my twins in preschool beginning when they were 3 - for 2 and 3 days, alternating weeks, because I needed it for childcare. One was ready, one was not, I felt badly. They spent 3 yrs there because they later missed the age cutoff for kindergarten. It turned out to be a very good experience for all of us. The program was a "social" one and not "academic" which was important to me. There's enough stress for little ones without the added pressure of learning to read or whatever at that age. I still, however, hear parents talk about how Johnny's learning to read at age 4 and I cringe... so much pressure... The school didn't require a lot from me but I did try to help out whenever I could, however I could. Had to drop out of volunteer parent committee, was always working when they had their meetings and I only work part time. Very difficult as a working parent of small children, so much to do each day.

For kindergarten I initially had the kids enrolled in a Charter school. As it grew close to starting time, though, my gut was telling me something wasn't right so I enrolled them in our local school and have never regretted that decision. Follow your gut.

Your story reminds me of what happened to my friend. She is the"volunteer type". For her daughter's charter school (funny how our friends get us into these predicaments, lol) she was in charge of a large fundraiser for the year. She kind of blew it off a bit, but later, when the school was $10K short, they expected HER to make up the difference!!!! I couldn't believe that could be true but apparently it was (her husband is a lawyer, too). Somehow she did get out of it but that was the end of that working relationship! She later moved her child back to the local school. Moral of the story: be careful what you get yourself into and if it doesn't feel right don't do it. Probably easier to forget the whole thing now if you're so inclined than to do it later (think:holidays) after you committed yourself. Sounds like your neighbor is really the one who had her heart set on this...

Good Luck and let us know how it turns out.

 

[Jordan's MOM]

I am a preschool director so thought I would chime in. First on a personal note, I did not send my DS to preschool until the year before kindergarten. He was also 6 when he started school because I too knew he would not ready at 5. One year of preschool was perfect for him.

Our preschool is not a co- op. We do have a program for 2's, 3's and 4's. My thoughts are that most all kids do need ONE year of pre-school before kindergarten just to adjust their learning to a group setting. Beyond that it is pretty much a fun social situation that some kids need and other don't. Preschool is not the right choice for all families. If it is going to be more stress for you, I would encourage you to look at other options. If your attidue toward the setting is negative, the twins will pick up on that and have a negative view as well. There are also other types of setting other than a co- op. Many churches have morning preschools that while not co-ops, are non profit and cost less while not requiring your time. Also consider a mother's morning out.
Another point is that your kids have each other, so they are use to other kids.
It certainly would not hurt them to not be in school this year.
I would however encourage you to make your decision NOW and let the director know. Loosing two children from a program at such a late date can really hurt the budget of a co- op or non profit progran as often replacing these children at a late date can be hard.
Good luck and know those children will be fine either way.

Jordan's mom

 

[jayhjay]

It sounds like you are dealing with two separate issues here. One, do you want your kids in preschool at all. And two, do you want them in a coop.

As far as age for preschool, I think it is a personal decision. Kids' maturity and interest level, age they will start kindergarten, etc. I also think the norms in your community are a factor. Around here, most kids start preschool at 2. Those who don't almost certainly start at 3. But in lots of communities, 3 or 4 is much more common. This is an issue b/c you probably want your kids to be coming into K with a similar level of school experience as other kids. But obviously lots of factors play into the best age for your kids.

As for the coop, there are lot of types of preschools out there. It sounds like coop is not right for you. I looked into coops with my DD and while I like the community-oriented feel of them, I just didn't think I wanted the committment required of sending my DD there. It sounds like you are really not enthusiastic about this making me think it may not be the best choice for you or your kids.

Good luck!

 

[eeyore kelly]

I volunteer at my kids' local school, because I want to. I set my hours, days, type of work I will do, etc. i don't touch money, book orders,etc., because I choose not to. If I was told I had to volunteer on this day for x amount of hours, and this is what I must work on, I would start feeling resentful. Your feelings about volunteering will make or break it. I know the Co-op would not be the right choice for me.

 

[BrerMom]

I used to teach in a co-op and my DD went to a different co-op (different city/state). The co-op where I taught was wonderful and I thought all co-ops were like that. My DD's co-op sounds more like the one you're considering - very, very dependent on a small core group of volunteers. She only stayed there one year because the set-up didn't really work for our family. I like to volunteer at several different places and the time commitment for this school was just too much. Sound familiar?

Do you want your boys in preschool this year? Sounds like you're not sure. Two mornings a week is not a big commitment, but they may enjoy some other types of classes two mornings a week just as much.

That said, I can say that we made a mistake with our DD. (Those poor first kids!) I didn't want to have her in school too much (after all, I didn't have preschool at all and did fine. ) so she only was two mornings a week for 2 1/2 hours each morning at age three. I was working full-time, so she spent the rest of the time in daycare. She would have loved more preschool, but the co-op work dates were as much as we could handle as it was. When she was four, we switched her to a five-day full-day preschool and she thrived. It was such a good match, we had her go to half-day kindergarten the next year at the public school and spend the other half-day at the preschool.

IMO, you should have never been given fundraiser AND membership. That's way too much for one parent. And they shouldn't have "given" you either without your volunteering for them. Most co-ops have committees and you have to choose one committee to belong to in addition to your volunteer hours in the classroom. My friend didn't have twins, but she had one in the 4-year-old class and one in the 3-year-old class. She did spend a lot of time in the classroom and this preschool also assumed that because she had two in the school, she'd agree to have much more responsibility than a mom with one in the school.

Check out other co-ops in your area as a comparison, if you have time. Co-ops do take more volunteer hours, but I like the idea that there's always a parent present and it makes the teacher-student ratio lower. In your case, a "regular" preschool might meet your needs better.

As my daughter likes to remind me, bullies come in all ages and sizes. If you're not comfortable with the situation, tell your friend no. Easier said than done, though, right?

 

[fun & fancy free]

Both my children went to co-op school at three years old. It was a good choice for us my children are very social and loved the interaction. Our school was a two day a week class for 2 1/2 hours. They did crafts, imaginary play, music and outside play. I was just what they needed. My DD's(now 4 & 5) still talk about all their experiences and new friends.

 

[oogieboogie]

My oldest DS went to a co-op preschool. Three days a week for 2.5 hours. The involvement of the parent was only to the point that the parent needs to sign up for 6 parent helper days. On those 6 days, the parent needs to take in snacks and drinks and help take the kids to the bathroom, help with cleaning the classroom and watching over the kids.

Other than that, everything else was voluntary. If you wanted to you could be room mom, muscle room monitor, etc.

I do like kids going to preschool, more for increasing their social skills than anything else. DS was really shy when he started, but by the end of year 1 preschool, he had really opened up and was willing to lead game play in certain cases.

My youngest DS will be starting this fall, and he'll be going to the same preschool with the same teacher that older DS had.

 

[Carrie Ellis]

Thanks to all! This is what I needed to hear..several different sides!

The enrollment for this school was a first come first serves, except for alumni. They had a space no matter what. So it required standing in line (which my friends husband did). To sign up for the committees you had to be first there at a May meeting to pick the one you want. Well w/ 4 kids and a husband who commutes from DC...he showed up a 6:30pm and I was able to get to the meeting by 7pm and the only things left were the 2 committees no one else wanted!! Guess who got them!!

They have now learned that they should not give membership to a 3's mom because I have let them know that I KNOW nothing!!! When people call me about the preschool I am really only able to say what I know. I get lots of calls all day. I don't have time to call and return calls and even if I did; I don't want to be on the phone!

It is basically several moms trying to run a preschool....a very cute and sweet preschool but everyone is busy and no one wants the busy committees.

I guess my main problem is that if I pull them out, it will be because the two committees that I got left with are too much and that is sad. That is what I am fighting in my mind!! Plus I thought if I took the money I would spend and put it in college fund....may be that would benefit them more!

I can not remember what I did at 3!

My gut does say no and I was telling my husband that and got the male response of "heck no that is too much....bla bla bla" That is why I fell back on ya'll. I know it is just a 3 preschool but I do try to do what I agree to do. So I do have some guilt there.

Thank you so much.

 

[LisaZoe]

Have you talked to your friend about feeling overloaded? You might consider doing so if you are really feeling that you're ready to take the kids out because of the volunteering workload. I think being involved in your child's/children's school is important but it sounds like this one needs better organization to distribute the load - such as rotating responsibilities monthly, quaterly or other schedule so no one or 2 people get stuck with the harder committees.

 

[Ali]

My son started in a co-op LABSchool when he was 22 months - toddler 1 day, then toddler 2 day and we are starting pre-school 3 day next week(he will only be going for 2 days because of other committments). All parents are required to work one day per week as a teacher's assistant - I haven't gotten the schedule yet so I can't comment more than that. We have a certified preschool teacher and a parent educator who will be workign with us. We are also required to attend 1 lecture a month, and 2 parent education meetings a month. I am the head of the scrapbooking committe, and was encouraged to be the volunteer parent on the board, but I said no. School days are MWF from 9:00 to 12:00.

We pay $90 a month for the priviledge of sending our son to a place where all parents work on leanring how to be the best parent possible. It's nice to know none of us believe in spanking, and none of us alllow violence by kids or adults. All of us are actively involved in our your kids lives. We are learning how to communicate with our kids in ways that helps them be the best people they can be.

You asked do 3 year olds need to be in school? No - they don't need it, but more of them enjoy it. I know I started nursery school when I was 2 and by the time I was 5 I was acting as an assistant, not a student! My son has a much fuller life now than he would have had, since he is an only child.

Now having said that, my son is also going to a public elementary school resource program 3 days a week, from 8 to 12 because he has sensory integration disorder and is on the autistic spectrum. When he started the toddler class at the co-op school he just screamed most of the day. With a year of labschool behind him, he is now able to talk about how he feels, name his friends, and play imaginatively. He is just about "normal" and peple who didn't know him as a baby/toddler dont believe he has any issues at all. I know I would not have seen as much progress from him if he hadn't been around other kids. I always planned on homeschooling him, but he needed the interaction with other kids.

I think you are in way too much with 2 committees. But I also think you should give the co-op a chance, so talk to them and tell them that you can't do the jobs you were "assigned by lateness to the meeting" and that someone with more experience wit the school would be better for these positions. See what they say!

 

[steen995]

Saving $40 per month ($20 ea kid) is not worth the amount of time your having to put in. It's tempting to save the money but sometimes I think we just need to say enough is enough. Especially if your husband thinks it's too much. Who will you gripe too if he's always saying he told you not do it.

I work at home too and the coop I belong to only has a once a month commitment and I feel like that is too much sometimes. I can say, however, that my DS really enjoyed last year and he can't wait for school to start again this year.

 

[Magalex]

I love how this website supports people all over and with different questions and situations(both Disney & non-Disney)!
Just a comment from a mom with a pre-schooler. I never heard of a co-op for preschool. My son who just turned 4 on Aug. 20th will start 4 yr preschool in Sept. It is a regular preschool..Three days a week for 2.5 hours. The teachers have been there for 20 years and do an excellent job. He attended last year for 3 yr. preschool and I was so nervous because he just started talking but he loved it. Now he can't stop talking. During holidays there is a sign-up sheet for parents to decide what to bring or if they want to volunteer to help with party activities. Also this is true for field trips. I will go with my son for all field trips because that is what I would be comfortable with. The preschool also provides a PRE-K program for children who just miss the deadline or have late summer birthdays(like my son). The PRE-K program is a practice run for kindergarten. It is 5 days a week and they prepare them for elementary school. So actually he will be at this preschool for a total of 3 years. He is happy and I am happy so that what counts.

Magalex