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[bunkkinsmom]

Hi OP!

I am married to a wonderful man who is an amazing musician. He is very well known locally, and hasn't even played out in years. He is beautiful and brilliant. He is severely ADD (like a lot of musicians) and I am the EXACT opposite. He is artistic, I am linear. I think that's why we work so well . DH now has a recording studio and does video work as well. These hours are not much better than when he was truly a "profesisonal" musician. When he was playing out 4 nights a week he was making about $40K, and that's in a town where the music scene is minimal. The nights are hard, especially with kids (I have 3 young children) and there really isn't much else I can tell you except COMMUNICATION!! Since I'm such a planner, I try really hard to be VERY ahead of the game and organized. I fail a lot, but our lives would be a train wreck if I didn't succeed at it some of the time!

Do what you are doing (with the design and websites, write his bios, etc) and that IS being supportive. Just know that being married, your life is a journey TOGETHER. Treat him the way you would want to be treated if he felt that way about your dream. And please keep coming here if you need to vent, don't vent to him. Talk to him and communicate, but your support is key to him, your involvement boosts him more than you will ever know! Your his wife, the other half of him. And most of all, have fun with your hubby! (And know that sometimes you will have to talk yourself into having fun!)

Enjoy!

 

[JLTraveling]

I think one of the hardest feelings in the world to get rid of is fear of the unknown. You knew your DH was a musician when you married him, so you're not unfamiliar with the "scene," and it sounds like you're doing all the right things to be supportive. But you can't totally picture how it's all going to work out in your current life situation, with kids and all. You've been living a very different life, and it's scary to imagine the changes. And that's okay.

What's not okay is not giving it a chance. And it doesn't sound like that's your intent. Your posts indicate that you've already decided to go through with it. So you've already done the hardest part. Now you just have to jump into the cold pool and see what happens.

I would sit down and have a chat with your DH. But not in a demanding or rule-setting way. Just in a "let's clarify what we're both thinking" way. Tell him that you want to be supportive but you're a bit scared. Maybe you can brainstorm some ways for him to make you and the kids feel extra-loved and extra-supported during these changes. Tell him you need to ease into things a bit rather than jumping in with both feet. He sounds like a pretty reasonable guy.

That said, though, I would make a real effort at jumping in. Hire a sitter for the weekend and go to NYC with him. Buy a new outfit that makes you feel fabulous, sit at the bar and enjoy the accolades. Sometimes being the wife is a huge ego boost! Guys think you must be something special, women envy you...it can be a trip now and then, even if it's not what you want night after night.

Good luck! It sounds like you're already on the right track.

 

[antmaril]

I would like to add my two cents to this thread. My late husband was a musician (piano) throughout our married life (34 years). The first 16 years of our marriage he was in a band, worked in clubs, traveled the country, had two albums on a major record label and opened shows for the likes of The Beach Boys, Bob Seger, Dire Straights, U2, etc. It was not the least bit glamorous. I had a very stable job with benefits. I worked days and he worked nights. Not a lot of time together. When he quit the band, he became a recording engineer.

In late 2007, he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and in those last days he would say how lucky he was that he was able to do what he enjoyed most (other than being a husband and father) throughout his life - make music. He thanked me for letting that happen. I knew from the time we were teenagers that my husband needed music in his life like he needed air to breathe. I'm glad I didn't force him to do something more conventional. I have no regrets.

 

[mjkacmom]

She seems okay with it, and they're having a blast. I'm sure a huge part, is the 2 sons are involved too. If DH did something like this with our daughters, I'd be glad for them. If it was just DH, not so much.

This would be my issue. My DH has a decent job, that he likes. In his industry, he could be making a lot more money, if he worked crazy hours. As it is now, he leaves for work around 7:30, and he's home by 6:00, and is able to spend time with his family. He can coach his children's teams, he can help with math homework, he can attend his kids activities. If he was gone nights and weekends because of his band, it just wouldn't work for us. It seems like yesterday that dd14 was born - it really, really goes so fast. There really is such a small window of our lives to raise and enjoy our children.

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

I would like to add my two cents to this thread. My late husband was a musician (piano) throughout our married life (34 years). The first 16 years of our marriage he was in a band, worked in clubs, traveled the country, had two albums on a major record label and opened shows for the likes of The Beach Boys, Bob Seger, Dire Straights, U2, etc. It was not the least bit glamorous. I had a very stable job with benefits. I worked days and he worked nights. Not a lot of time together. When he quit the band, he became a recording engineer.

In late 2007, he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and in those last days he would say how lucky he was that he was able to do what he enjoyed most (other than being a husband and father) throughout his life - make music. He thanked me for letting that happen. I knew from the time we were teenagers that my husband needed music in his life like he needed air to breathe. I'm glad I didn't force him to do something more conventional. I have no regrets.

I was going to say that there are so many other things that could happen that could cut down on the time he spends with his family that at least this would be something he enjoys.

Life itself is unknown and can become incredibly uncomfortable at the drop of a hat.