..........................

[poohbears5]

C Ann so sorry you are dealing with so much ((hugs)) with both my parent's a social worker from the hospital meet with me before discharge date to set up hospice and they were a god send they were just great to talk and help out when I got over whelmed .

 

[meeshi]

C. Ann , I haven't read through all the posts yet, so I hope I'm not repeating anything, but talk to the social worker at the hospital. Tell him or her your concerns. They should be able to help you, maybe they could arrange visiting nurses to come and help you. That's who arranged everything for DD when they sent her home on IV. I was scared to death having to do all that, but they sent nurses to help until I was comfortable doing things on my own. Then they came out a couple of times a week, but would have more often if I needed them to.

You and your DH have been and will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[Pam]

C.Ann,
Well, I'm all for you throwing a fit that's about 1,000+ the meltdown you had with the rude clerk when returning the empty answering machine box!!

It sounds as though the VA Hospital is trying to find an empty bed - and it's the one your DH is occupying. Ask them for a reasonable explanation as to why they would discharge such a sick man. And if you don't get it, ask them if you should contact the media and see if they can find the answer as to why one of America's brave soldiers is being turned out in his hour of need.

If your DH does come home, you will need help and lots of it! Are his daughters willing to take time to stay at the house on a rotating basis to lend a hand? And I would definitely check into hospice care.

I'm still praying and I wish I could do something for you!
Pam

 

[luvwinnie]

I agree that you should speak with a social worker. You shouldn't have to do this alone...there must be some sort of nursing care I would thing. Is he a candidate for hospice? I'm not really sure of all the medical details. I am so sorry.

 

[TeresaNJ]

Unfortunately, in today's insurance driven health care industry, going home from ICU happens all too often. C.Ann, if the docs are telling you there is nothing more they can do for your husband to help him get better, then please think about hospice and comfort care, especially is DH seems to still be having great difficulty with breathing. The hospital can't make you take DH home if you are not prepared. At the very least, they should have set up home health care, a visiting nurse, and a nurse's aide. You are right in the fact that your living room will look like a hospital room. Right now, it seems like your DH requires 24 hour care. You cannot do t his by yourself. Forget about the slippers, it's the last thing he needs right now. Look, do things in this order: 1. Get some sleep
2. Eat something
3. Tell the ICU staff and the ICU manager that you will
not be bringing DH home until you feel comfortable
that you will be able to manage him there
4. Insist on speaking the the social worker and the CASE
MANAGER!! Where is that person?? That is who
should be managing everything and be in direct
contact with you about the discharge planning for your
husband
5. What about the nutritionist on staff? Is your DH being
fed? How do they plan on him taking nutrition? That
issue also needs to be addressed before you take him
home.
6. Insist on being told the absolute truth about the
condition your DH is in, ask what his ejection fraction is
and then tell them to explain to you what that means
in terms of his prognosis.


C.Ann, please, it is very hard for family members to know what to ask the docs and nurses, so alot of times they don't, and end up making uninformed decisions. Ask for a family conference with the docs, social worker, nutritionist, and case manager. This way they have to sit down and talk to you and explain everything clearly, and tell you what your options are, so that at least you feel like you have a choice, and can make the correct decision for you and your family.

 

[Beanie]

I don't have anything to add to what the others have already said, but just wanted to offer {{{Hugs}}} and prayers to you and your DH...I am so sorry you have to go through this...

 

[Blondie]

I just want to offer my {{{hugs}} and prayers.....

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

you've gotten a lot of good advice here. you don't need to go this alone.

and we're all here if you need to talk.

 

[binny]

((((Ann)))))

I cant really add anything other than my support! Im so very sorry for all you are going through!!


If you bring dh home make sure you have Hospice helping they are INCREDIBLE when my Uncle got sick a few months ago they came and helped my Aunt like you wouldnt believe!

You are in my prayers!

 

[Towncrier]

I am so sorry to hear that your "real world" friends are not stepping up to the plate to give you a hand in your time of crisis. I know that if someone in our community called on our church for help, that there would be someone there to give support. And that someone would not have to be a member of our congregation. I know that I've said it before, but I'll say it one more time and then I'll shut up. Phone a local church. Explain your situation. That you need a helping hand (and not a handout). I wish that I could lend a hand to you and do more than give you my prayers and my advice. Take care and please let us know if we can help.

 

[Figment and I]

More Hugs and prayers!!! You may want to check into
home health care. Check and see if the hospital has a
support group, sometimes those folks can help you network
and get threw the red tape.

 

[Denine]

First off, take a deep breath!
The hospital will not send him home until you know how to work his equipment. Even though it sounds difficult, oxygen is not. The equipment looks scary, but mostly you will jus need to make sure it is attached and at the right setting. They will show you how to do that. I am sure they will send a home health nurse. She/he will make sure everything is adjusted properly and show you again how to use everything. She will probably come to your home 2-3 times per week. They will also send an aide to help wit his care 2-3 times per week.
I wish you all the best!

 

[fkj2]

The hospital has to discharge patients to a safe environment. If you're not prepared to care for him properly at home, I don't see how they legally can discharge him there.

However, you may have to send him to an extended care facility in the interim. The insurances demand that if there is little being done in the way of testing, patients have to go somewhere else even if it is directly from the unit. The insurances simply won't pay. They all follow what Medicare does and when Medicare says, "Discharge" that's it unless you want to be responsible for the bill going forward. That is an option albeit an expensive one. I had to bring my mom home in a sorry state in May and I thought I might as well because her care was sh** in the hospital. She might as well die clean in my house and she's still with me, being well-cared for.

Is your husband eligible for Medicare? If so, they cover about 120 days of "skilled nursing care" in a facility. Or, they provide home health visitations, but they are just that, visitations. No around the clock care/assistance. And don't let them end the visits early. These home health companies get paid a blanket amount and it behooves them to terminate the visits as soon as they can, at least that's what the nurse told me. It doesn't sound to me as though you have the necessary knowledge to care for him at home at this point. Hospice may be the best answer. He will require not only nursing care, but frequent turning, attention to blood pressure, probably urinary/bowel care, nutritional support, etc. It's a lot for those of us with nursing backgrounds let alone someone who doesn't have it.

Call your local AREA AGENCY ON AGING or whatever they call it in your state. Ohio has what is called PASSPORT for lower income families in our state. Also, as another poster noted, contact a local PASTOR. Sometimes they can offer advice or know of someone who does home health care. Certainly they can offer you support.

We sometimes have to bear what seems unbearable. Just remember to concentrate on doing what's best for your hubby and to take care of yourself because you can't do the first without doing the second.

 

[nativetxn]

I'm not going to offer advice, you have received some great advice already.

I just want to offer my support, {{{HUGS}}} and prayers.

Katholyn

 

[POLLY ANN]

My thoughts and prayers are with you, C. Ann, to make the right decision for both you and your dh.

 

[minniecarousel]

Still sending good thoughts your way, C.Ann.

 

[Kermit]

{{{Hugs}}} Your family is continuously in my prayers. I appreciate the updates, since it helps to know what specifically I should ask for.

I agree that you need to use whatever strength you have left to stand your ground so that you can get the help you need and so that he won't come home until you feel you're ready. Insurance should pay for home health, and Hospice should be very helpful.

Take care of yourself. I know I keep saying that, but I'm worried about you.

 

[pajamommy]

{{{HUGS}}}, C. Ann, you're handling everything so great! Hang in there, and we're still here for you!

 

[newmousecateer]

C.Ann

You have gotton a lot of great advice from lots of wonderful people here.

I will echo some of their suggestions: sleep, eat, talk with the family and let them help you out with the options. If you are not able to handle taking care of him at home yet, then possibly a rehab hospital for a while.

Is there any improvement?

Still praying. {{{{{HUGS}}}}}

 

[Boots]

{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}} I will be keeping you and him in my prayers. Want you to know that we are all here for you! Remember we are DIS family!!! Please keep us posted.