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[C.Ann]

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[java]

Tread lightly.

Is there any way she could hear it from your granddaughter instead of you? Like in a "do you use deodorant?" conversation.Perhaps having the 2 of them over at the same time can make it less attacking?(Not that I think it is but kids might feel less targeted if there is more than one in the room) Some kids need it earlier and the summer with the sweating- well it adds up to problems.

Could you maybe give her a bath and body works product- to inspire showering?? My daughter loves those.

Oh I don't envy you- it's going to be akward. good luck.

 

[PaddingtonBear]

Oh, that poor little girl. I would totally say something to the grandfather. She sounds so neglected Maybe he just hasn't noticed, can't smell well, is just a typically stupid male that doesn't pay attention to 'girl' things. If you notice, her classmates must notice, and give her heck over it.

 

[C.Ann]

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[Disney Doll]

Doesn't sound like she has much of a mother and it has to be an awkward conversation to have with one's Grandpa.

Can you or your DD do it? You know, "Grandma-like" or "Mom-like" advice...something along the lines of "You know Susie, as you become more of a young lady, you have to be careful of showering and keeping clean". Maybe buy her a special Bath & Body set so she'll want to use it??? Poor kid...it has to be hard for her.

 

[C.Ann]

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[Handbag Lady]

Oh, that is easy.

Just tell your friend, as a friend, that women need to learn hygiene early in life and that it is time for your granddaughter to bathe regularly.

It is something that grandma would notice and handle, but that you wouldn't expect a grandfather to know to do that early.

Explain that you love the grandkid as your own.

 

[Liberty Belle]

My DGD isn't here right now.. She's out for a boat ride with her mom and a group of others..

If I say anything to the sister (13) she'll be mean and say, "Suzy, you SMELL! Go take a shower.."

I should also mention she is a very, very stubborn child when she doesn't want to do something.. VERY stubborn.. I don't think it's something as simple as her needing deoderant.. Don't know how to explain it, but it's an awful, awful odor..

You know, as cruel as it is, that might not be such a bad idea. Though if she smells that bad, her sister probably has already told her. It might make the little girl angry, but at that age (any age?) anger feels better than embarrassment.

I don't know what you could do that would not let her know that you've noticed. I think her knowing that would be really embarrassing to her. The only thing I could think of is to buy some bath products, say your daughter gave them to you, but you're allergic and ask her if she and her sister would like to split them between the two of them.

Are you sure her clothes are clean? Normally, when people, especially kids, smell that bad, it's the clothes (and underclothes) that are the culprit.

 

[Disney Doll]

Can it be something else? Could she have an infection somewhere???? Do oyu have a nurse nearby? We can usually tell the difference between B.O., infected wounds, GI bleeding etc. just by the smell.

 

[denisem]

If this neighbor is a "very good friend" it's doable with a gentle, well-thought lengthy conversation.

First, is the daughter's drunk/drug neglect of this child common knowledge or was that conveyed to you by the deceased wife?

Either way, I'd first steer the conversation from sympathy to the loss of his wife and its effects on his life; then to his wife's influences on their daughter & granddaughter (here's a good time to introduce the daughter's drink/drug abuse/neglect if deceased wife shared it with you); finally, I'd commiserate of the challenges raising an opposite sexed, generational-gapped grandchild "at our age". (I include myself on that one!)

Offer a sleep-over, preferably when YOUR granddaughter is around. Have a girly grooming night. Introduce deodorant, etc., along with fragrant soaps, washes, lotions and bubbles. Play with styling hair. Make it fun, instead of a lecture.

Note: Trust me, I'm the LAST person to encourage "girly" stuff, appearances or vanity as an end to all means. But it appears this youngster could USE some guidance.

Good luck!

 

[Serena]

I don't know how I would do this, but maybe as an after dinner thing, "Ok, everyone, we all stink, time for showers and when everyone is clean, come back for ice cream."


At WDW, when my dad came with me, he stank to high heaven. I don't know why, he stayed with my sister and her family and she said he took showers. But it was awful. We ended up going swimming every day as a family just to try to get it better.


I don't know how I would approach grandpa about it. Other than reminding him she is growing up and he needs to make sure she takes a bath/shower every day. I don't know, good luck.

 

[griffinstorme]

Sad. Be up front and be like "you should take a shower"

 

[undertheradar]

Make her feel special and give her a gift basket with personal grooming items. Then to be sure she uses them, have a sleepover and introduce the items.

 

[JessicaR]

It is possible a medical reason is to blame for the odor. She could have a sweat gland problem or a UTI.

I'm thinking this since you say she doesn't look dirty and her clothes are clean. Is her hair clean? You seem to think the odor is beyond BO so maybe it is.

I feel sorry for this 8 year old.

 

[teskak]

Could it be aunt flo, she does not have enough supplies and is having to make them last? then is too embarressed to go to the store or to get grandpa to buy them?

 

[BelleWDW]

Go to the store, C.Ann.

Buy a simple bottle of bath gel ($3) _they come in some yummy scents-wrap a ribbon on it and give it to her as a "End of Summer present"-add a cute bath sponge ($1)

 

[OceanAnnie]

Oh, that is easy.

Just tell your friend, as a friend, that women need to learn hygiene early in life and that it is time for your granddaughter to bathe regularly.

It is something that grandma would notice and handle, but that you wouldn't expect a grandfather to know to do that early.

Explain that you love the grandkid as your own.

I like the straightforward approach. The little girl needs to learn about hygiene and how to take care of herself, hopefully before school starts so she won't get teased. That's sad.

Do they like to eat garlic and odoriferous foods? That can heighten the problem a lot.

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

I agree with the others about a nice basket of bathing supplies. Make them girlie with a nice scent or the Hannah Montana stuff, put in one of those poofy things, a new towel or something. I'm not sure if you want to spend money on her or not but Wal-Mart stocks some of the Hannah stuff fairly inexpensive. You can say you were buying for your DGD and thought of her too. She will hopefully feel honored that you were thinking of her when you thought of DGD. Then gently suggest she go home, try it all out and come back over to tell you how she liked it. Just a thought.

Good luck C. Ann. I believe that if anyone can do this tactfully it is you.

 

[a paper star]

Oh that's sad.
Does her older sister bathe? Did the girls' mom ever teach them how to bathe themselves? I guess if she was off getting drunk/high she probably wasn't. I'm not trying to be rude I was just curious. My younger cousins never bathe and it's because their mother never properly taught them how.

 

[Stacerita]

I would just talk to the kid and see about how often she baths, or think she needs to bath. Almost all the kids I know have gone though a period where they dont' want to shower. Even DD did that. She out grew it, but we made her shower regularly. We just told her that she needed to shower and that was that. Maybe the little one doesn't know she stinks. If her mom is a loser, and she lost her grandmother, she may not have anyone to guide her and let her know. I would get her some shower gel and let her know that she should be showering regularly.