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[C.Ann]

.....................................

 

[crazyme5kids]

I would mention it and I would ask something like how they met. Then let the conversation flow from that point.

 

[tonilea]

I would ask her if she would like something special.

 

[minkydog]

I'd bring it up. Ask her if it would be helpful if you joined her for a bit of reminiscing. Everybody is different. She might want to spend the day meditating or she might rather have people around.

 

[suejai]

I would ask her if she would like something special.

I agree, I would ask her what she wants to do. Maybe she would just like to be alone, but just in case she doesn't at least there will be an offer.

 

[C.Ann]

........................

 

[diznygirl]

I think the dinner invitation sounds perfect. It will give her something to look forward to, and give you guys the opportunity to talk.

 

[PrincessKitty1]

The one thing that she did mention is that she's having trouble grocery shopping - just doesn't know how to "shop for one" - and today she had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a pear for dinner..

Maybe I could just make a dinner (nothing fancy) - tell her it's "too much for just me" (assuming my crew will be out on the boat for the day) and ask her if she wants to join me.. Then wherever she leads the conversation, I'll take my cue from there.. Good idea? Or would the dinner invitation be "pressuring" her?

I think it's a great idea. Sounds like she's at loose ends and doesn't really know what to do (the whole grocery shopping thing is very telling).

 

[C.Ann]

Dinner it will be.. Nothing fancy or out of the ordinary - and I'll figure out a way to word it so that she doesn't feel as though she "has" to accept the invitation..

Thanks!

 

[teacups]

No matter how long Im gone from here... I come back to find you doing or saying something nice!

 

[ma2jr]

Don't mention it.. ask how she's keeping up, if she needs anything.

yes absolutely... keep her busy

 

[redrosesix]

The dinner sounds great -- my mother always has to make plans to spend time with us on her anniversary. I'm sure I wouldn't want to be eating alone on my anniversary if DH had passed away. And the grocery shopping? I think that was the hardest thing for her.

I think that since she has told you it would be their anniversary, she is definitely needing to talk about him. But it is still so soon -- she needs to find ways to stay busy.

 

[safetymom]

You should mention it. You know it will be on her mind. If she declines dinner you should still mention something.

 

[shortbun]

Since she told you, mention it quietly I'd say. Perhaps she'll tell everyone.

 

[Val]

When we lost my dad and my FIL, I made sure my mom and MIL got an 'its your anniversary" card on their anniversary....just to show that I remembered. They seemed to appreciate it, and I think they were touched. If I remember correctly, we signed it saying we knew it was a special day, and didn't want mom and dad's special day to go un-remembered, since if it wasn't for THAT event, we wouldn't be here!

Unfortunately, both mil and mom are now in the throes of Alzheimer's. MIL no longer even recognizes pictures of FIL.....so I am glad we remembered when we did.

 

[SCHBR'smom]

It sounds like you will handle it beautifully!

I actually didn't handle it well with my mom. My inlaws and my parents were married within days of each other. Both were planning on renewing their vows for their 25th anniversary. Well, my dad passed about 8 mos before their anniversary. We were part of my inlaws vow renewal and were of course there, but didn't say anything to my mom, trying not to bring it up. Well, she was a little hurt that she didn't get an anniversary card or anything. We told her that we didn't know what to do, but I think knowing that we were celebrating theirs, but not her's hurt her. I still feel bad.

 

[Evil Genius]

Just ask her what, if anything, she would like to do. And expect her to change her mind the day of. I think dinner is expecting too much. Just play it by ear.

 

[C.Ann]

..............................

 

[Va-bear]

I think the dinner invite sounds prefect. As you said, you can make it easy for her to decline, but it sounds to me like she's looking for someone to talk to about this. She probably knows you'd be a good person to talk to also.

I know when my dad died I was one of those that wanted to just sit for hours and hours talking about him - but it was hard to find anyone who wanted to do that. The one who stands out in my head (besides my sweet DH...) was the friend who brought over a big bag of doughnuts and just let me ramble some of my pain away. You sound like a dear lady.

 

[minkydog]

I know when my dad died I was one of those that wanted to just sit for hours and hours talking about him - but it was hard to find anyone who wanted to do that. The one who stands out in my head (besides my sweet DH...) was the friend who brought over a big bag of doughnuts and just let me ramble some of my pain away. You sound like a dear lady.

mmm, powdered sugar...the mark of a true friend.