20 questions

[SandrA9810]

no, i've played the share game too long.

I'm the youngest, and a lot of things recieved growing up were to be shared with me and my sis. House sold and everything finally split. "well your sister has kids, she gets it".

Played the share game for 7yrs with kari. Ohh "it's ours, it's for us". Kari now, "that's mine, that's mine, better leave that for me".


I don't trust any one anymore. Anything i do, is MINE no one elses. And i'll be very reluctant to share. From bank accounts, apartments, to just everyday things.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Sandra--I think that is a fine attitude--but remember that sharing goes both ways. If you are really doing it all on your own that means you cannot expect others to share their house, food, whatever with you either (obviously equitable roommate situations where both parties pay are not a part of that). So get out there, get a job and a place to live and take care of yourself and use all you get on your life and you will feel good.

 

[wdwfan16]

no, i've played the share game too long.

I'm the youngest, and a lot of things recieved growing up were to be shared with me and my sis. House sold and everything finally split. "well your sister has kids, she gets it".

Played the share game for 7yrs with kari. Ohh "it's ours, it's for us". Kari now, "that's mine, that's mine, better leave that for me".


I don't trust any one anymore. Anything i do, is MINE no one elses. And i'll be very reluctant to share. From bank accounts, apartments, to just everyday things.

That attitude is fine when you can pay 100% of your apartment, by all the stuff yourself etc.

With only $20 in your pocket it would seem that attitude will not work at this time.

Sometime it is better to have an agreement and stick with it. Every bill, rent, electric, gas, cable and internet, are split 50-50. Phones are personal and are the bill of the person. BTW who is paying for your cell phone.

WRT Kari, she got to keep all the stuff because she incurred all the debt for the stuff. I am sure yours and Kari's roommate paid his/her 1/3. That is what a roommate is.

 

[SandrA9810]

she's doing things just to spite herself. And refuses to have an actual conversation about the debt. I've only been trying for six months. So when she's ready to come around, i'll be there. Can't do much till then.

And having a room-mate is one thing. Joining everything is another. No more, "we'll be together forever, so it doesn't matter". I won't believe it till forever is over.

 

[PaulaSB12]

Some random, some stupid, some I still can't figure out the right answer. Join along if you have a random question you'd like to ask.


So these are some things I've asked myself over the past few weeks of being in Dallas, and helping my aunt move.

1 - Did you know snot turns black when you breathe in too much dust and dirt?? yeah I know, TMI and really gross... but something I found out the hard way.

That depends more on the type of dust. I work at a cereal making factory and (with the old system) when we made cereal with red fruit it came out dark pink.

 

[SandrA9810]

LOL, pink buggers sound pretty cool. better than black. I'm sure any kid would be highly amused. And they'd probably be the first to tell you if it actually tastes like cereal...

18 - Why can't I figure out which way is north in Dallas?? I have a really good sense of direction most the time. I've done a few cross state travels, no issues in California (I still need to get used to the beach being on the west and not on the east...), I usually can point out which way is north. When I'm in Dallas, even the sun setting doesn't seem like it's the west. It's so weird. And no street seems to run in the direction it says, it's usually on an angle.

 

[sarah4770]

well i'll add in a few things.
A) yes, my aunt has admitted to being in a financial mess. She knows why she is there, but she doesn't stop it. I was the one to help her pull her credit reports prior to getting a loan. She's knows i know it all.



You forget....she's keeping a roof over your head
Its not like me to be snarky
but.
just.....wow

 

[SandrA9810]

i'd like her to keep this roof. That's why i'm worried. Most people are generally very helpful around here. Is it so wrong to ask for help for some one else? I need to get her to see some way of getting on track. I just can't take control, because i know it's not my money. She sure as heck didn't buy this house for me. She wanted it, she bought it for herself. And i have no desire to ever live in it. I am not a fan of texas.

And i don't see how visiting her is her putting a roof over my head. Yes, some visits have turned into extensive ones. But it's not like i'm here cause i want to be. If i had my way, i would've been out of here at least a week ago. I'm here because she wants me here.

 

[sarah4770]

This is the same aunt whose house you are living in. in orlando, correct?

 

[Jason@dvcstore]

11 - Why do companies insist upon using letters for their phone number?? Like southwest (800-i fly swa)... it's nice and easy to remember but doesn't make it easy when you use a smart phone. And of course they can't put the numbers below the letters.

Jason

 

[TheZue]

i'd like her to keep this roof. That's why i'm worried. Most people are generally very helpful around here. Is it so wrong to ask for help for some one else? I need to get her to see some way of getting on track. I just can't take control, because i know it's not my money. She sure as heck didn't buy this house for me. She wanted it, she bought it for herself. And i have no desire to ever live in it. I am not a fan of texas.

And i don't see how visiting her is her putting a roof over my head. Yes, some visits have turned into extensive ones. But it's not like i'm here cause i want to be. If i had my way, i would've been out of here at least a week ago. I'm here because she wants me here.

Visiting is when you leave your permanent home and go and stay in somebody's guest room knowing that you have your own place to go back to. Do you still have a place in Florida or have you gotten one in California yet that you are paying for? If not she's putting a roof over your head.

 

[SandrA9810]

house is in texas. She's staying here... And i'm going where the wind blows. So no living together. Just visits.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Sandra--I feel it is very important that you have a plan for how you will take control of your life and begin to truly take care of yourself once you get to California. You need to be able to think clearly about how a visit to your aunt in the future will affect your ability to care for yourself and be able to say no if it is not the best thing for you. At the moment--based purely on your various posts over the years, I fear you often end up convincing yourself you are going to help out but really being lured by the free room/board and airfare--it is a way for you to feel valuable while still running away from really getting your life on track. If you have a plan and can really then evaluate how any future trips to Texas (or anywhere for that matter) will harm said plan it may be easier for you to say no when you need to do so for your own sake. I also just think a plan will help you see that you are making progress even when the steps are small and will therefore motivate you to really get into a good position in your life. If it helps you to have accountability post it here or give it to your friend and ask him to help you stick to it.
A few things to think about:

Who is paying for you to get to Cali? Are you planning to repay them? If so--what is the LATEST date you feel that should happen.

Where will you be living upon arriving in California? If it is with a friend (or anywhere you are not paying for) set yourself a FIRM date to have moved out by and stick with it. Scrimp and save and look for roommates so that you can make good on this promise to yourself. (I suggest 2-3 months is enough to manage to find something at least temporary and probably as long as you can encroach on someone else's hospitality without doing permanent damage).

What will you be doing to earn your keep while (if) living with a friend? Make yourself a list of chores you will do without being asked (clean bathrooms, mow, etc) so that your presence is not a burden.

DO you have a job lined up? Have you contacted a Qdoba in the area to let them know you are coming and line up an interview? If not, get on the phone today and do so.

If you cannot get full time with Qdoba, where else can you pick up hours? What is the minimum you need to make in a month to pay rent on a small space, eat and get to/from work?

There is a lot more you could do--but I think the above would be a good starting place. What are you doing immediately when you arrive in Cali to make yourself welcome and to begin to be self sufficient and when is your absolute last deadline to achieve minimal self sufficiency? After that, set up another list of things you want to acquire (insurance? a car? a bicycle? sofa? bed?--yes you may to sleep on the floor for a bit, it happens starting out) and set up a plan to do it). Then just keep going.

Honestly, once you are taking care of yourself and contributing to your own livelihood I think you will feel much better about yourself AND I think THEN if you want to become involved in another relationship you will be ready to be an equal partner which will make all the difference in how it goes.

 

[kirbsam]

anybody feel like we have all been down this road before? even though we have all heard this story before, it keeps getting more complicated. can anyone explain that?

isnt there a theory in physics or mathematics called chaos? i officially proclaim this thread as the official thread of chaos.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

anybody feel like we have all been down this road before? even though we have all heard this story before, it keeps getting more complicated. can anyone explain that?

isnt there a theory in physics or mathematics called chaos? i officially proclaim this thread as the official thread of chaos.

I am obviously missing a lot of backstory and need to reread posts.


I'm back to my comment I made a page or 2 ago, though.....OP, your life has already started...don't waste time figuring out if it ends when you leave one place or begins when you get to another. It's up to you to realize that it's underway, learn what you need to learn from it, make a plan, and get busy living it.

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

I haven't read through much more than the first couple responses, but it seems to me that it's the people creating the phones who are causing a problem... not the people who put letters in their phone numbers. The phone numbers have been around a lot longer than the letter-less phones!

 

[SandrA9810]

anybody feel like we have all been down this road before? even though we have all heard this story before, it keeps getting more complicated. can anyone explain that?

isnt there a theory in physics or mathematics called chaos? i officially proclaim this thread as the official thread of chaos.

i agree. Every stupid thing i say on here seems to need an explanation.... And then every one has to get in on morals and values.
Get over it people. I ain't living under your roof, your rules, or with your family.
And yes, every so often i can think for myself and i don't need to post every little damn thing i'm doing or how i'm going about doing it. Can i just put a big DUH on some of these comments???

 

[NHdisneylover]

and now yes Tiiger&BElle we are right back to square (thread?) one. Sandra--as always you came here and asked questions and opinions and you put all of this information out here on the DIS and when people start giving you honest advice about who to help yourself out of your situation you get angry and throw a little fit. I doubt I am the only one who ONLY knows about your life from reading YOUR posts here on the DIS. When you post (and ask questions) on a public forum you will get opinions and those opinions will involve the morals of those giving them and when you post as often as you do about as unique of things as you do people are going to remember you from thread to thread and put the pieces together when forming their opinions.
This is how it works--you have been here long enough to now that. If you don't like it I think you need to "get over it" and quit posting your life story.
I really don't know why I keep trying to get through to you as you insist on believing yourself to be a helpless victim of other people while doing nothing to help yourself at all. It's exasperating. I do truly wish you good luck in your next phase of your life but I hope you have maybe, just maybe on some level let the message so many on the DIS have tried to give you sink in and get that it is not just luck that will make things better but hard work and a willingness to accept responsibility for your own life.

 

[SandrA9810]

ok. I think this reaches #20...

what is up with the little lights that turn on when the light changes to red???

In Kissimmee it's blue lights above. And i got asked about it a lot cause it's on almost all the lights. Well i noticed in Richardson, TX they have white ones, but they're on the pole to the side. And not on every light, just mainly the major intersections.

Do they really serve a purpose for turning on when the light goes red?

 

[Scurvy]

ok. I think this reaches #20...

what is up with the little lights that turn on when the light changes to red???

In Kissimmee it's blue lights above. And i got asked about it a lot cause it's on almost all the lights. Well i noticed in Richardson, TX they have white ones, but they're on the pole to the side. And not on every light, just mainly the major intersections.

Do they really serve a purpose for turning on when the light goes red?

Do you mean the ones that flash? Because I know what those are for - they put those at intersections where people often run the red lights. It's supposed to be eye catching, so you'll notice that the light is red and actually stop. I don't remember if the ones in Kissimmee flash, though, so if they don't . . . well then I don't have a clue what those are for!