It's 3:05 a.m. here - I just came in from a campfire - and I'm having a bowl of cereal as I type this..
Has my energy returned? No.. Has my appetite returned? No.. But a little girl's request has put everything in back into perspective for me..
Earlier this evening, a group of neighbors decided they were going to have a
really big campfire tonight - drag out the kareoke machine - and of course, invited me to join them.. At first I wasn't going to go - I was just going to go to bed early because I have been so exhausted and so
cold all day long.. But then my DGD came in - and asked if I would
please try to go if "Daddy" helped me over there, "Mommy" made coffee for me and put it in a travel mug, and she carried my chair cushions and let me "borrow" her Disney Princess blanket from their travel trailer.. Well - how can a "Grandma" say "no" to that?
Made up my mind right then and there that I was
going to go - even if I had to
crawl over there and lay down on the
ground in
frontof the campfire - and having "fun" with my family and neighbors was suddenly waaaay more important than going to bed early.. (Heck - whatever time I
do get to sleep doesn't matter anyhow because I don't have anywhere I need to be..)
So - I put on 3 pairs of socks, 2 pair of jogging pants, a tee shirt, long sleeve flannel shirt, zip-up hoodie sweatshirt, flannel jacket, and told my DGD to go get "Mommy & Daddy".. The look on her face was worth every ounce of energy it took for me to get ready and I'm so glad I went!
I really, really had
fun - even took a shot at singing kareoke (poor wildlife probably moved
much further up into the mountains due to my "wonderful" singing voice).. Under "normal" circumstances, kareoke is something I never would have done, but again - it was at the request of my DGD and I just couldn't say "no" to doing something with her yet
again..
Now I'm sitting here thinking.. It doesn't really matter what the doctor says when she calls on Monday.. Whatever this problem is, worrying about it and being scared is
not going to change a single thing.. I can't change the "situation" - but I
can change my attitude.. So - I'm going on the "attack".. Push me and I'm going to
push right back.. Trying to drag me down? Gonna have to catch me first! Think I'm going to be robbed of having fun? Think again!! I'm putting on the gloves and coming out fighting.. Knock me down and I'm going to get right back up again..
I learned two very important lessons tonight.. Having fun - and getting angry enough to fight back - brings out what little energy I have left - and I'm going to use
both of those emotions to
my fullest advantage..
I may be wiped out tomorrow, but I had a heck of a time tonight!
"Whatever" is lurking out there - go ahead and take your best shot! I'm ready!!
Thanks again for the continued thoughts, prayers, and words of encouragement.. You're a great bunch here..
And great to hear of your new found strength in this. Will keep the prayers going on our end.
