I think that there are still people that have good insurance companies with good benefits that do not understand that this goes on. I am self-insured also, (we are self employed) and it can be horrible. Yes, the state commissioners can help (I brought one situation to the attention of my state commissioner when I lived in Connecticut), but it is very time consuming and chances are you will not get an answer quickly enough to resolve this situation. In my case, I had a policy that would not pay for ADD and of course my daughter had ADHD. But, I lived in a mental health parity state which required that any mental health problem that had a legitimate psychiatric coding (there is some publication) be covered. While ADD was not covered, my daughter had the H (ADHD) which was supposed to be covered. I did get them to cover some expenses, but got so tired of going after them on some of it that I walked away from about $300 rather than spend any more time collecting. I did find out that although I was using a big name insurance company, the Connecticut State Commissioner had a number of issues with them and was only too happy to hear the details of my situation.