....................

[C.Ann]

.....................

 

[minniecarousel]

Man - that's rough!

Is he the type you can give a hug to? After the initial show of concern for him, I wouldn't bring it up again unless he initiates it. Too bad he can't get some word on how the boy is doing.

 

[kejoda]

Its horrible that this happened but maybe its what was needed for this kid to learn that he needs to be careful.

 

[suezpqt]

Here is some pixiedust for you - I certainly hope that your friend will be able to relax a little bit once he gets up to the lake. I would not say anything unless he brings it up.

 

[crz4mm2]

How about "I'm sorry you have to deal with this" or "I'm sorry this happened to you".

 

[C.Ann]

...........

 

[mrsv98]

I would just give him a big hug and say you are happy to see him. Maybe take a walk at some point and see if he wants to talk. I can't imagine having something like that happen. No matter if it isn't his "fault" it will take a long time for him to resolve it in his head.

 

[chell]

C. Ann with your heart I have complete faith that when you see him the perfect thing will come to you.



One for you and one for him.

 

[akhenaten]

I was also going to suggest a big hug!

If he was driving a work vehicle on a 4 lane highway with a green light....and the boy was awake when the paramedics came...your friend must have been really drivng very safely!!

I am sure just being with supportive friends will be helpful to him........

Carol in NJ

 

[doxdogy]

for you. Bless your heart for being so concerned about him and wanting to help him. I am sure that the right words will come to you.

 

[ducklite]

I wouldn't act like it didn't happen. I'd say soemthing like "I'm sorry that you had to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, but I'm glad that you are such a good driver so it wasn't what it could have been. Please let me know if there's anything I can do for you."

Then leave it unless he wants to bring it up.

Anne

 

[LoraJ]

If he looks like he's down on himself about it, just re-assure him that it wasn't his fault. there was nothing he could do.

This happened to me a couple of weeks ago. A woman ran into the street from in front of a parked Van. I didn't see her, she got hit by my side mirror and then hit the side of my car. We got out and tried to help her and wanted to call 911, but she refused and limped away.

I felt AWFUL for several days. Lots of "what ifs". Like what if she had run in front of my car. What if I had really seiously hurt her. Or what if something happened to her after she ran away. Like if she had an internal injury. It was very upsetting to me that I had physically hurt another human being. I got lots of TLC from my DFi and I don't dwell on it anymore.

 

[grlpwrd]

Needless to say, our friend is absolutely beside himself - even though the police assured him that he was in no way responsible.. (He's a dad himself - to a 3 yr. old..) He couldn't sleep at all last night - kept having visions of that child landing on the hood of the truck.. His employer told him to take today off and although he was scheduled to work this weekend as well, his doctor called his employer and said that he was taking him out of work until at least Monday because he was obviously suffering from severe stress..

My brother's best friend is going thru this very thing. He lives in Kauai and a family who made a u turn hit into his gas truck. It's really devastating for all concerned. His friend, Eddie, cannot sleep. He feels guilty even if it wasn't his fault plus he is suicidal because he keeps having images of the family, especially of the mother who died in the front seat. He says every time he closes his eyes he sees her so he's not functional at all and the parents and one child died with only one son surviving. So tragic ...

I don't think you can ever get over it and I can't really make it "better" so I just try to be supportive.

Is your friend getting counseling? I think that makes a big difference in coping.

 

[kristen821]

I don't think there is much you can say, but listen

 

[HOGFAN]

This happened to us except that our kid was the one that got hit. the lady that hit our son is a friend of my SIL. My SIL kept her up to date on our sons condition. we never heard from the lady herself, but we know she asked SIL about him. Maybe you can find out some information yourself and be sort of an intermediary.

 

[Disfan1]

The same thing happened to me a few years ago. A kid darted out right in front of my car on a bike. He fell onto the road, his bike popped up and over my hood *sigh* I'm shaking just typing this all these years later...The boy wasn't wearing a helmet either but was concious and talking when the ambulance came. I gave the dad my phone number and said to PLEASE call & let me know how he was doing. All he had was a concussion. I guess what I'm trying to say is the fact that the boy was talking is a good thing... Ask your friend how he is doing and let him take the lead from there. I was shaken up so badly that I had anxiety attacks until we sold the car that I had been driving. I still think about that boy when I drive past that spot...

 

[bettyann29]

wow.. How horrible for everyone concerned.. I cant even begin to imagine what I would do if this happened to me..

 

[miss missy]

Thats why it is called an acccident. Sometimes bad things happen. I guess I would let him do the talking and listen. Support him is all you can do.

 

[golfgal]

This happened to a friend of ours a couple weeks ago except the child died. The boy that was hit was a friend of DS14's, he was riding his bike to cross country practice. The woman that hit him worked for DH and had her 6 and 4 year old in the van with her. It is very hard. We sent her a card saying that we were thinking about her and praying for her and to let us know if she needed anything (this happened in our old town so we have not seen her in person).

Another friend of ours is on the state patrol and he said that they counsel them to not talk about it to people until the investigation is 100% complete because it is still an accident investigation and if something turned up some comments they make could hurt them. In our friend's case it was 100% the boys fault as well but they still advise them not to talk about it which makes it that much harder to deal with it.

 

[grinningghost]

I've actually had this happen with a couple friends unfortunately.

Most recent, my ceramics teacher accidentaly hit a kid on a bike who darted out into traffic from behind a parked truck.

He felt terrible. The only thing I could say was that it was simply an unfortunate accident, he couldn't have prevented it and it wasn't his fault. It didn't work very well, but I felt I needed to say something.