mom x4 grandma x4
DIS Legend
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- Feb 18, 2005
- Messages
- 21,392
Greg,
U R 2 RO 2000
2 b 4 got 2000
translate that!!
kathy
U R 2 RO 2000
2 b 4 got 2000
translate that!!
kathy
11/28/2009 - 12/5/2009 Nana Nation 2009 - The Nana's Ride the Seas Again
- Thread starter favoriteslave
- Start date
- Status
mom x4 grandma x4
DIS Legend
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2005
- Messages
- 21,392
Idaho Crazy Law
Riding a merry-go-round on Sundays is considered a crime.
Illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds.
Looking for more dumb laws? Check out DumbLaws.com!
You may not fish on a camel's back.
Boise
Residents may not fish from a giraffe's back.
Pocatello
A person may not be seen in public without a smile on their face.
A law passed in 1912 provided that "The carrying of concealed weapons is forbidden, unless some are exhibited to public view."
Riding a merry-go-round on Sundays is considered a crime.
Illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds.
Looking for more dumb laws? Check out DumbLaws.com!
You may not fish on a camel's back.
Boise
Residents may not fish from a giraffe's back.
Pocatello
A person may not be seen in public without a smile on their face.
A law passed in 1912 provided that "The carrying of concealed weapons is forbidden, unless some are exhibited to public view."
mom x4 grandma x4
DIS Legend
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2005
- Messages
- 21,392
Oregon Crazy Law
Canned corn is not to be used as bait for fishing.
Ice cream may not be eaten on Sundays.
Looking for more dumb laws? Check out DumbLaws.com!
Dishes must drip dry.
It is illegal to buy or sell marijuana, but it is legal to smoke it on your own property.
You may not pump your own gas in service stations.
The "Peer Review Statute" prohibits you from finding out details of any written or oral discussion about your medical treatment. Not even a court of law can. All you can access is what the doctor or nurse voluntarily records in your chart.
One may not bathe without wearing "suitable clothing," i.e.,that which covers one's body from neck to knee.
Beaverton
You must buy a $10 permit to be allowed to install a burglar alarm.
Eugene
It is legal to conduct a horse race or a symphony concert.
It is illegal to show movies or attend a car race on Sundays. (Repealed in the 1970s)
Hood River
Juggling is strictly prohibited without a license.
Klamath Falls
It's illegal to walk down a sidewalk and knock a snakes head off with your cane.
Portland
People may not whistle underwater.
It's against the law for a wedding ceremony to be performed at a skating rink. (Repealed in 1989)
You cannot wear roller skates in restrooms.
Marion
Ministers are forbidden from eating garlic or onions before delivering a sermon.
Myrtle Creek
One may not box with a kangaroo.
Salem
Women may not wrestle in Salem.
Springfield
It is illegal to own a reptile within the city limits, unless you are a school or city, as a pet.
Stanfield
No more than two people may share a single drink.
Cloth towel dispensers are banned from restrooms.
Canned corn is not to be used as bait for fishing.
Ice cream may not be eaten on Sundays.
Looking for more dumb laws? Check out DumbLaws.com!
Dishes must drip dry.
It is illegal to buy or sell marijuana, but it is legal to smoke it on your own property.
You may not pump your own gas in service stations.
The "Peer Review Statute" prohibits you from finding out details of any written or oral discussion about your medical treatment. Not even a court of law can. All you can access is what the doctor or nurse voluntarily records in your chart.
One may not bathe without wearing "suitable clothing," i.e.,that which covers one's body from neck to knee.
Beaverton
You must buy a $10 permit to be allowed to install a burglar alarm.
Eugene
It is legal to conduct a horse race or a symphony concert.
It is illegal to show movies or attend a car race on Sundays. (Repealed in the 1970s)
Hood River
Juggling is strictly prohibited without a license.
Klamath Falls
It's illegal to walk down a sidewalk and knock a snakes head off with your cane.
Portland
People may not whistle underwater.
It's against the law for a wedding ceremony to be performed at a skating rink. (Repealed in 1989)
You cannot wear roller skates in restrooms.
Marion
Ministers are forbidden from eating garlic or onions before delivering a sermon.
Myrtle Creek
One may not box with a kangaroo.
Salem
Women may not wrestle in Salem.
Springfield
It is illegal to own a reptile within the city limits, unless you are a school or city, as a pet.
Stanfield
No more than two people may share a single drink.
Cloth towel dispensers are banned from restrooms.
mom x4 grandma x4
DIS Legend
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2005
- Messages
- 21,392
Michigan Crazy Law
You may not swear in front of women and children in the state of Michigan.
It is legal for a robber to file a law suit, if he or she got hurt in your house.
Looking for more dumb laws? Check out DumbLaws.com!
A woman isn't allowed to cut her own hair without her husband's permission.
Any person over the age of 12 may have a license for a handgun as long as he/she has not been convicted of a felony.
There is a 10 cent bounty for each rat's head brought into a town office.
Clawson
There is a law that makes it legal for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.
Detroit
Alligators may not be tied to fire hydrants.
It is illegal to let your pig run free in Detroit unless it has a ring in its nose. According to history and animal husbandry, it prevents them from "rooting" in the ground for their food.
Willfully destroying your old radio is prohibited.
It is illegal for a man to scowl at his wife on Sunday.
Grand Haven
No person shall throw an abandoned hoop skirt into any street or on any sidewalk, under penalty of a five- dollar fine for each offense.
Harper Woods
It is illegal to paint sparrows to sell them as parakeets.
Kalamazoo
It is against the law to serenade your girlfriend.
Rochester
All bathing suits must have been inspected by the head of police.
Soo
Smoking while in bed is illegal.
Wayland
Anyone can keep their cow on Main Street downtown at a cost of 3 cents per day.
You may not swear in front of women and children in the state of Michigan.
It is legal for a robber to file a law suit, if he or she got hurt in your house.
Looking for more dumb laws? Check out DumbLaws.com!
A woman isn't allowed to cut her own hair without her husband's permission.
Any person over the age of 12 may have a license for a handgun as long as he/she has not been convicted of a felony.
There is a 10 cent bounty for each rat's head brought into a town office.
Clawson
There is a law that makes it legal for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.
Detroit
Alligators may not be tied to fire hydrants.
It is illegal to let your pig run free in Detroit unless it has a ring in its nose. According to history and animal husbandry, it prevents them from "rooting" in the ground for their food.
Willfully destroying your old radio is prohibited.
It is illegal for a man to scowl at his wife on Sunday.
Grand Haven
No person shall throw an abandoned hoop skirt into any street or on any sidewalk, under penalty of a five- dollar fine for each offense.
Harper Woods
It is illegal to paint sparrows to sell them as parakeets.
Kalamazoo
It is against the law to serenade your girlfriend.
Rochester
All bathing suits must have been inspected by the head of police.
Soo
Smoking while in bed is illegal.
Wayland
Anyone can keep their cow on Main Street downtown at a cost of 3 cents per day.
mom x4 grandma x4
DIS Legend
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2005
- Messages
- 21,392
Florida Crazy Law
Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging.
It is considered an offense to shower naked.
Looking for more dumb laws? Check out DumbLaws.com!
You are not allowed to break more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers.
It is illegal to block any traveled wagon road.
Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.
If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.
You may not fart in a public place after 6 P.M. on Thursdays.
Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
It is illegal to skateboard without a license.
A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.
Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.
Big Pine Key
It is illegal to molest a Key deer. If caught one will be fined or will have to go to jail.
Cape Coral
It is against the city ordinance to hang your clothes outside on a clothesline.
It it illegal to park a pick-up truck in your driveway or in front of your house on the street. This law is limited to only those who do not own the house. (Repealed 2000)
Daytona Beach
Sec. 10-56. While intoxicated, under influence of narcotics, prohibited. It shall be unlawful for any person to swim or bathe in that portion of the Atlantic Ocean within the corporate limits of the city when under the influence of intoxicating liquor or narcotic drugs to the extent that his or her normal faculties are impaired. (Code 1955, � 28-64)
Sec. 18-2. Weeds, trash, etc., as a public nuisance; removal by property owner or by city at owner's expense; notice and hearing; lien for expenses. (a) The existence of weeds, trash, undergrowth, brush, filth, garbage or other refuse on any lot, tract or parcel of land within the city which has caused the property to become, or which may reasonably cause the property to become infested, or inhabited by rodents, vermin or wild animals, or may furnish a breeding place for mosquitoes or threatens the public health, safety or welfare, or may reasonably cause disease or adversely affects and impairs the economic welfare of the adjacent property, is declared to constitute a public nuisance and is hereby prohibited.
Sec. 22-44. Storage, depositing prohibited. It shall be unlawful for any person, either as owner, occupant, lessee, agent, tenant, or otherwise, to store or deposit, or cause or permit to be stored or deposited, any abandoned, junked or discarded motor vehicle or motor vehicles upon any public or private property within the city. (Code 1955, � 20-11)
The molestation of trash cans is banned.
Hialeah
Ambling and strolling is a misdemeanor.
Sec. 3-1. Bird sanctuary declared. (a) It is hereby declared that all territory embraced within the corporate limits of the municipality shall be a bird sanctuary. (b) It shall be unlawful for any person within the municipality to shoot, trap or in any manner kill, wound or maim any bird of any kind, or at any time to throw at any birds of any kind any missile with slingshots or any other weapon, or to disturb their eggs or their young or their nests. (Ord. No. 8-59, �� 1, 2, 8-10-59)
Jupiter Inlet Colony Inlet
Key West
Chickens are considered a 'protected species'.
Miami
Sec. 8-3. Bell or other warning device. No person shall operate a bicycle unless it is equipped with a bell or device capable of giving a signal audible for a distance of at least 100 feet, but no bicycle shall be equipped with, nor shall any person use upon a bicycle, any siren or whistle. (Code 1967, � 8-3; Code 1980, � 8-3)
It is illegal for men to be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
Pensacola
A women can be fined (only after death), for being electrocuted in a bath-tub because of using self-beautification utensils.
It is illegal to roll a barrel on any street, fines go up according to the contents of the barrel.
Citizens may not be caught downtown without at least 10 dollars on their person.
Pinecrest
In order to operate a burglar alarm, a permit must be obtained. Sec. 12-23. Registration required; application; transferability; false statements. (a)All persons must complete and submit to the village an emergency contact registration form for their alarm if they operate or cause to be operated an alarm system in the village. A separate registration is required for each alarm system. Upon receipt of a completed registration form, the police department shall issue a numbered alarm sticker to the applicant to facilitate retrieval of registration information. (Ord. No. 97-17, � 1, 10-14-97)
Sanford
Stage nudity is banned, with the exception of "bona fide" theatrical performances. Violating this ordinance results in a $100 fine.
Sarasota
You may not catch crabs.
If you hit a pedestrian you are fined $78.00.
Tampa Bay
It is illegal to eat cottage cheese on Sunday after 6:00 P.M.
Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging.
It is considered an offense to shower naked.
Looking for more dumb laws? Check out DumbLaws.com!
You are not allowed to break more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers.
It is illegal to block any traveled wagon road.
Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.
If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.
You may not fart in a public place after 6 P.M. on Thursdays.
Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
It is illegal to skateboard without a license.
A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.
Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.
Big Pine Key
It is illegal to molest a Key deer. If caught one will be fined or will have to go to jail.
Cape Coral
It is against the city ordinance to hang your clothes outside on a clothesline.
It it illegal to park a pick-up truck in your driveway or in front of your house on the street. This law is limited to only those who do not own the house. (Repealed 2000)
Daytona Beach
Sec. 10-56. While intoxicated, under influence of narcotics, prohibited. It shall be unlawful for any person to swim or bathe in that portion of the Atlantic Ocean within the corporate limits of the city when under the influence of intoxicating liquor or narcotic drugs to the extent that his or her normal faculties are impaired. (Code 1955, � 28-64)
Sec. 18-2. Weeds, trash, etc., as a public nuisance; removal by property owner or by city at owner's expense; notice and hearing; lien for expenses. (a) The existence of weeds, trash, undergrowth, brush, filth, garbage or other refuse on any lot, tract or parcel of land within the city which has caused the property to become, or which may reasonably cause the property to become infested, or inhabited by rodents, vermin or wild animals, or may furnish a breeding place for mosquitoes or threatens the public health, safety or welfare, or may reasonably cause disease or adversely affects and impairs the economic welfare of the adjacent property, is declared to constitute a public nuisance and is hereby prohibited.
Sec. 22-44. Storage, depositing prohibited. It shall be unlawful for any person, either as owner, occupant, lessee, agent, tenant, or otherwise, to store or deposit, or cause or permit to be stored or deposited, any abandoned, junked or discarded motor vehicle or motor vehicles upon any public or private property within the city. (Code 1955, � 20-11)
The molestation of trash cans is banned.
Hialeah
Ambling and strolling is a misdemeanor.
Sec. 3-1. Bird sanctuary declared. (a) It is hereby declared that all territory embraced within the corporate limits of the municipality shall be a bird sanctuary. (b) It shall be unlawful for any person within the municipality to shoot, trap or in any manner kill, wound or maim any bird of any kind, or at any time to throw at any birds of any kind any missile with slingshots or any other weapon, or to disturb their eggs or their young or their nests. (Ord. No. 8-59, �� 1, 2, 8-10-59)
Jupiter Inlet Colony Inlet
Key West
Chickens are considered a 'protected species'.
Miami
Sec. 8-3. Bell or other warning device. No person shall operate a bicycle unless it is equipped with a bell or device capable of giving a signal audible for a distance of at least 100 feet, but no bicycle shall be equipped with, nor shall any person use upon a bicycle, any siren or whistle. (Code 1967, � 8-3; Code 1980, � 8-3)
It is illegal for men to be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
Pensacola
A women can be fined (only after death), for being electrocuted in a bath-tub because of using self-beautification utensils.
It is illegal to roll a barrel on any street, fines go up according to the contents of the barrel.
Citizens may not be caught downtown without at least 10 dollars on their person.
Pinecrest
In order to operate a burglar alarm, a permit must be obtained. Sec. 12-23. Registration required; application; transferability; false statements. (a)All persons must complete and submit to the village an emergency contact registration form for their alarm if they operate or cause to be operated an alarm system in the village. A separate registration is required for each alarm system. Upon receipt of a completed registration form, the police department shall issue a numbered alarm sticker to the applicant to facilitate retrieval of registration information. (Ord. No. 97-17, � 1, 10-14-97)
Sanford
Stage nudity is banned, with the exception of "bona fide" theatrical performances. Violating this ordinance results in a $100 fine.
Sarasota
You may not catch crabs.
If you hit a pedestrian you are fined $78.00.
Tampa Bay
It is illegal to eat cottage cheese on Sunday after 6:00 P.M.
mom x4 grandma x4
DIS Legend
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2005
- Messages
- 21,392
New York Crazy Law
The penalty for jumping off a building is death.
Slippers are not to be worn after 10:00 P.M.
Looking for more dumb laws? Check out DumbLaws.com!
A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking "at a woman in that way." A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a "pair of horse-blinders" wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll.
A person may not walk around on Sundays with an ice cream cone in his/her pocket.
While riding in an elevator, one must talk to no one, and fold his hands while looking toward the door.
A license must be purchased before hanging clothes on a clothesline.
It is against the law to throw a ball at someone's head for fun.
Carmel
A man can't go outside while wearing a jacket and pants that do not match.
Greene
During a concert, it is illegal to eat peanuts and walk backwards on the sidewalks.
New York
You may not smoke within 100 feet of the entrance to a public building.
Citizens may not greet each other by "putting one's thumb to the nose and wiggling the fingers".
Women may go topless in public, providing it is not being used as a business.
It is illegal for a woman to be on the street wearing "body hugging clothing."
Ocean City
It is illegal for men to go topless in the center of town.
It is illegal to eat in the street in residential neighborhoods, and the only beverage you can drink on the beach is water in a clear plastic bottle.
Staten Island
It is illegal for a father to call his son a "******" or "queer" in an effort to curb "girlie behavior."
You may only water your lawn if the hose is held in your hand.
The penalty for jumping off a building is death.
Slippers are not to be worn after 10:00 P.M.
Looking for more dumb laws? Check out DumbLaws.com!
A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking "at a woman in that way." A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a "pair of horse-blinders" wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll.
A person may not walk around on Sundays with an ice cream cone in his/her pocket.
While riding in an elevator, one must talk to no one, and fold his hands while looking toward the door.
A license must be purchased before hanging clothes on a clothesline.
It is against the law to throw a ball at someone's head for fun.
Carmel
A man can't go outside while wearing a jacket and pants that do not match.
Greene
During a concert, it is illegal to eat peanuts and walk backwards on the sidewalks.
New York
You may not smoke within 100 feet of the entrance to a public building.
Citizens may not greet each other by "putting one's thumb to the nose and wiggling the fingers".
Women may go topless in public, providing it is not being used as a business.
It is illegal for a woman to be on the street wearing "body hugging clothing."
Ocean City
It is illegal for men to go topless in the center of town.
It is illegal to eat in the street in residential neighborhoods, and the only beverage you can drink on the beach is water in a clear plastic bottle.
Staten Island
It is illegal for a father to call his son a "******" or "queer" in an effort to curb "girlie behavior."
You may only water your lawn if the hose is held in your hand.
mom x4 grandma x4
DIS Legend
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2005
- Messages
- 21,392
Brantley,
are you up on all these laws?? They are very important because most of them are being broken everyday
Kathy
are you up on all these laws?? They are very important because most of them are being broken everyday
Kathy
mom x4 grandma x4
DIS Legend
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2005
- Messages
- 21,392
EAT MY DUST GREG,
LADIES RULE TONIGHT!!!
LADIES RULE TONIGHT!!!
mom x4 grandma x4
DIS Legend
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2005
- Messages
- 21,392
Georgia Crazy Law
Members of the state assembly cannot be ticketed for speeding while the state assembly is in session.
Donkeys may not be kept in bathtubs.
Looking for more dumb laws? Check out DumbLaws.com!
Signs are required to be written in English.
You have the right to commit simple battery if provoked by "fighting" words.
No one may carry an ice cream cone in their back pocket if it is Sunday.
It is illegal to use profanity in front of a dead body which lies in a funeral home or in a coroners office.
Acworth
All citizens must own a rake.
Atlanta
Against the law to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp.
One man may not be on another man's back.
Columbus
Can't cut off a chicken's head on Sunday.
It is illegal to carry a chicken by it's feet down Broadway on Sunday.
Gainesville
Chicken must be eaten with the hands.
Jonesboro
It is illegal to say "Oh, Boy"
Kennesaw
Every head of household must possess a firearm of some kind.
Marietta
Though it is illegal to spit from a car or bus, citizens may spit from a truck.
St. Mary's
No spitting on the sidewalk is permitted after dark.
Quitman
Cars are not to drive on sidewalks.
It is illegal for a chicken to cross the road.
Members of the state assembly cannot be ticketed for speeding while the state assembly is in session.
Donkeys may not be kept in bathtubs.
Looking for more dumb laws? Check out DumbLaws.com!
Signs are required to be written in English.
You have the right to commit simple battery if provoked by "fighting" words.
No one may carry an ice cream cone in their back pocket if it is Sunday.
It is illegal to use profanity in front of a dead body which lies in a funeral home or in a coroners office.
Acworth
All citizens must own a rake.
Atlanta
Against the law to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp.
One man may not be on another man's back.
Columbus
Can't cut off a chicken's head on Sunday.
It is illegal to carry a chicken by it's feet down Broadway on Sunday.
Gainesville
Chicken must be eaten with the hands.
Jonesboro
It is illegal to say "Oh, Boy"
Kennesaw
Every head of household must possess a firearm of some kind.
Marietta
Though it is illegal to spit from a car or bus, citizens may spit from a truck.
St. Mary's
No spitting on the sidewalk is permitted after dark.
Quitman
Cars are not to drive on sidewalks.
It is illegal for a chicken to cross the road.
mom x4 grandma x4
DIS Legend
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2005
- Messages
- 21,392
Ok enough crazy laws for now.
I thought they were pretty funny.
Kathy
I thought they were pretty funny.
Kathy
mom x4 grandma x4
DIS Legend
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2005
- Messages
- 21,392
Time for some bumper stickers
Blame Greg for all of this, I have to catch the ladies up as much as i can tonight.
Bumper stickers 01
I love animals, they taste great.
EARTH FIRST! We'll stripmine the other planets later.
"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
He who laughs last thinks slowest!
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Blame Greg for all of this, I have to catch the ladies up as much as i can tonight.
Bumper stickers 01
I love animals, they taste great.
EARTH FIRST! We'll stripmine the other planets later.
"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
He who laughs last thinks slowest!
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
mom x4 grandma x4
DIS Legend
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2005
- Messages
- 21,392
Bumper stickers 02
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
I won't rise to the occasion, but I'll slide over to it.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check?
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
I won't rise to the occasion, but I'll slide over to it.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check?
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART
mom x4 grandma x4
DIS Legend
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2005
- Messages
- 21,392
All generalizations are false, including this one.
"Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy.
I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!
We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
What is a "free" gift ? Aren't all gifts free?
Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine
"Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy.
I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!
We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
What is a "free" gift ? Aren't all gifts free?
Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine
mom x4 grandma x4
DIS Legend
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2005
- Messages
- 21,392
Doctor Doctor I swallowed a bone.
Are you choking?
No, I really did!
Doctor, Doctor I think I need glasses
You certainly do, Sir, this is a fish and chip shop!
Now we have graduated to doctor jokes
Doctor, Doctor my son has swallowed my pen, what should I do?
Use a pencil �till I get there
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a bell?
Take these and if it doesn't help give me a ring!
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm suffering from Deja Vu!
Didn't I see you yesterday?
Doctor, Doctor I've got wind! Can you give me something?
Yes - here's a kite!
Doctor, how do I stop my nose from running?!
Stick your foot out and trip it up!
Are you choking?
No, I really did!
Doctor, Doctor I think I need glasses
You certainly do, Sir, this is a fish and chip shop!
Now we have graduated to doctor jokes
Doctor, Doctor my son has swallowed my pen, what should I do?
Use a pencil �till I get there
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a bell?
Take these and if it doesn't help give me a ring!
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm suffering from Deja Vu!
Didn't I see you yesterday?
Doctor, Doctor I've got wind! Can you give me something?
Yes - here's a kite!
Doctor, how do I stop my nose from running?!
Stick your foot out and trip it up!
mom x4 grandma x4
DIS Legend
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2005
- Messages
- 21,392
Just remember if Greg hadnt been so greedy to get so many tops today you wouldnt have to be reading this right now
Kathy
Kathy
mom x4 grandma x4
DIS Legend
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2005
- Messages
- 21,392
Doctor Doctor I think I'm a moth.
So why did you come around then?
Well, I saw this light at the window...!
Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee
Have you tried taking the spoon out?
Doctor, Doctor I feel like a spoon!
Well sit still and don't stir!
Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pack of cards.
I'll deal with you later.
Doctor, Doctor Have you got something for a bad headache?
Of course. Just take this hammer and hit yourself in the head. Then you'll have a bad headache.
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking there is two of me
One at a time please
Doctor, Doctor will this ointment clear up my spots?
I never make rash promises!
So why did you come around then?
Well, I saw this light at the window...!
Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee
Have you tried taking the spoon out?
Doctor, Doctor I feel like a spoon!
Well sit still and don't stir!
Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pack of cards.
I'll deal with you later.
Doctor, Doctor Have you got something for a bad headache?
Of course. Just take this hammer and hit yourself in the head. Then you'll have a bad headache.
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking there is two of me
One at a time please
Doctor, Doctor will this ointment clear up my spots?
I never make rash promises!
mom x4 grandma x4
DIS Legend
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2005
- Messages
- 21,392
Here are everyones favorites.
Knock, Knock jokes
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Aardvark!
Aardvark who?
Aardvark a hundred miles for one of your smiles!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Aaron!
Aaron who!
Aaron on the side of caution!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Abbott!
Abbott who?
Abbott time you answered the door!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Abe!
Abe who?
Abe C D E F G H...!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Abyssinia!
Abyssinia who?
Abyssinia behind bars one of these days!
Knock, Knock jokes
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Aardvark!
Aardvark who?
Aardvark a hundred miles for one of your smiles!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Aaron!
Aaron who!
Aaron on the side of caution!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Abbott!
Abbott who?
Abbott time you answered the door!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Abe!
Abe who?
Abe C D E F G H...!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Abyssinia!
Abyssinia who?
Abyssinia behind bars one of these days!
mom x4 grandma x4
DIS Legend
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2005
- Messages
- 21,392
Just a few more posts and I will have the top for the ladies again.
mom x4 grandma x4
DIS Legend
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2005
- Messages
- 21,392
almost time for Bones to come on, so I have to hurry.
kathy
kathy
mom x4 grandma x4
DIS Legend
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2005
- Messages
- 21,392
I'll soon know if greg or the sharkis lurking out there
Kathy
Kathy
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