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[C.Ann]

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[Poohs Pal]

c.ann, you obviously aren't ready to remove the ring. Wear that ring for as long as you need to. My DH past away 3 years ago this month and I still feel married to him. We met and started dating when I was 15 and when he past away we had been married 31 years. Give yourself all the time you need but no matter when you choose or not to take off the rings it will be hard. Even when you no longer where his ring he will be in your heart .Susan

 

[C.Ann]

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[4nana]

Granted, I have not walked a mile in your shoes C.Ann, but, I don't see where wearing your wedding ring is deceiving anyone. You're wearing a ring given to you by the love of your life as a symbol of your eternal love. Altho he may not be physically present, he is with you in spirit and in your heart forever.

My dear Dad has been gone 3 yrs now and Mom still goes by Mrs, wears her wedding band on left hand and still considers herself married to Daddy. I say to each their own, Lord knows there are lots of adjustment and struggles after losing your soul mate, as you face putting your life together one day at a time. Take your time and do what feels best for you. If the ring brings you comfort and peace, then by all means wear it. I think you will know in your heart when or if ever you are ready, you will not question or hesitate. Wishing you the best life has to offer as you move forward in this new phase of your life. Take care and Godspeed.

 

[srfrgrl07]

My grandmother is 87. She was 50 when my grandfather died. She's still wearing her ring, and wears my grandfather's around her neck most of the time. She has never dated, nor did she want to.

Until recently, she lived in a very small town in So IL, before my mom moved her up north to be by all of us. A man asked her out about 10 years after my grandfather had died, and I asked why she didn't go. She said she didn't like him when she was younger, and nothing had changed now that she was older.

You'll know when the time is right to move/remove your rings.

Kind of similar here...my grandfather died really young at 45...my grandma will celebrate her 80th birthday this year and she's worn her rings for as long as I can remember. She never dated after my grandfather died. I never had the opportunity to meet him, but I think her wearing the ring kept him "with us" all the time. I like to think that it was a way to instill his values in us even though he wasn't here physically to teach us.

For some people, a wedding band is a status symbol and I think that may be why you are struggling with this. For others (including myself) it is a symbol of love and commitment and serves as a reminder of what that person brought to our lives...I think you should wear it if it brings you comfort and not worry about what other people may think.

 

[PaulaSue]

My mom still wears her rings, still goes by Mrs. (gets upset when people say Ms.,) and has never remarried. He had planned to get her a nice new ring for their 25th anniversary, but passed away before it came, so we bought her the ring for him.

Tears...You are so sweet!!!!!!

 

[minkydog]

There is no dishonesty in you wearing your rings. Those who know you and your loss will see it for what it is. Love for your husband. Those who don't know, who cares what they think? Something else to think about, keeping those rings on your hand may keep unwanted invitations away. If you switch hands, some may see it as a sign you are ready to move on. If you feel you don't want to deal with that, I would leave those rings right where they are. Don't feel that you should do anything because of the impression you would make on others. Do things because they are what is best for you. You are the only judge of that.

I agree. I am not a widow, but my 72yo mother was widowed 2-1/2yrs ago. She has recently been moving her rings and talking about the "possibility" of dating again. She misses being a part of a unit, and being loved on a daily basis. She still misses my dad terribly, but she is so lonely for companionship.

C.Ann, you'll know when the time is right, if that time ever comes. If you want to move your rings, that's okay. But I don't think you need to just to save a bunch of strangers from misunderstanding your marital status.

 

[Zoiebear]

AnnC, first and foremost, you need to do what is right for you and the heck with everyone else. I have never been married, but I know my grandparents had that love for a lifetime and she wore her ring til she passed, and only then was it taken off for me, but my grandfather had passed before her, and she still believed she was married for life.

And I know this does not compare to your loss, however I was young and in love, in high school getting ready to go to college, well he gave me a "promise" (but engagement ring between us, b/c everyone felt we were too young) ring, and well he was murdered in 10/1992 and I will be honest, I wore that ring probably for a little more than 3 years, it was what I had left of our commitment and I just wasnt ready to be approached. I still keep it in a special place, but I didnt do anything until I was ready.

Stacie