Sunday, October 22nd - If One Ride is Parallel and the Other is Perpendicular, Do They Intersect?
Seems like the only thing we can do now to rival the experience of thumbing our collective noses at Newton's Universal Law of Gravity is to discover how it feels to be shot out of a cannon - we tried a vertical thrill now let's gauge the excitement level with a horizontal one.
Rock 'n' Roller Coaster it is!
J&B just before they embark on their Horizontal Projectile Exploration (
I'm aware of the irony present in a vertical picture of a horizontal ride, thank you. I would also like to point out that the ToT pictures are in fact, horizontal, while the ride itself is obviously vertical. That's what I call symmetry!)
The CM must have feared for our lives because he kept taking picture after picture after picture. When I checked our photopass account once we were back home nearly half of our available shots were taken in front of this ride. I know that the camera loves me, but....
Okay, that was just uncalled for. My editors are literally wetting themselves after reading that comment. I must have missed the contract clause that stated all the abuse is heaped upon the author of the trip report.
Once our photo shoot was complete we were free to head into the ride queue, which was listed at 10 minutes. We barely waited that long to get into the pre-show where Steven Tyler's lips welcomed us to the recording studio. I can't help it...if I make it past his rat-nest hair, I end up fixated on those rubbery, inflatable boat-like lips. I'm repulsed and yet I cannot look away.
As far as their music is concerned I like classic Aerosmith and I like
Get a Grip, which I believe was released in 1993, just don't ask me to listen to their heavy bubblegum. And please don't ask me to share a super-stretch limo with Lips McDrool (that's my affectionate nickname for Mr. Tyler).
The coaster ride itself is a blast, although I contend that the high-speed launch at the very beginning (0-60 in something like three seconds) is the best part. Maybe I'm missing something because I have to ride this blind, but the entire freeway "journey" is just a blurry, color-streaked wind tunnel. It's fun but not the best or most thrilling roller coaster this old crohn has ever ridden without her eyeballs.
Jay and I like to call this:
We're All Going to Die!!!
Another great photo!! Let's examine it more closely, shall we? There's Jason and me in the back, easy to spot due to the strategically placed freeway sign above our heads. Jay is obviously having a blast - he loves roller coasters and laughs maniacally throughout the length of a ride. It gives me a warm fuzzy every time to hear how much fun he's having. I'm having fun, too, in a "hang-on-for-your-life" sort of way. Notice the death grip on the shoulder harness and my sudden resemblance to the Grimace? Some of this can be attributed to tender tummy - the harness was a little too tight against my stomach and it was putting a lot of pressure on my healed but still very sensitive incisions. Lesson learned - I did not ride RnR for the rest of the week.
And how about the couple in front of us? They both look like they expect us to all go crashing though a cement block - silly people, that's
Test Track; you've got your rides mixed up! I wish that the other woman would have removed her visor because I would dearly love to see the expression on her face. As it is, you can just see the drop of her lower jaw...is she screaming in terror; singing the lyrics to
I Can't Drive 55 (which would be totally inappropriate, by the way); or demonstrating her disdain for the ride with a full-throated yawn?
Alas, we'll never know.
At this point I told Jason that I needed a break, a drink, and a pill, not necessarily in that order. So we made our way back to the front of the park, but before leaving we had one more picture.
The sorcerer's hat has provided me with inspiration - at our Potter Party this summer I'm going to make Wizard Hat cupcakes, and I'm going try to make my hats look just like this one! I'll warn you all right now, though, not to expect much. Artistically speaking I'm a real dud - I can't even draw a straight line with a ruler. That's a special kind of stupid, wouldn't you agree?
Once we were back at the resort Jay and I decided to stop at Hurricane Hannah's for a snack and a cool, slushy beverage. This was one of those places that I dreamed of over the summer, and for one reason only: The Shipwreck...a colada made with Baileys, Amaretto, and Kahlua. We've made this drink here at home and it's quite tasty, but drinking it in our backyard just can't compare with sitting on the pool deck at Stormalong Bay at 3PM on a sunny Sunday afternoon.
Imagine our disappointment when we discovered that it was no longer available. My afternoon adult beverage hopes had run aground, scuttled by corporate micro-management and bottom-line syndrome. It looks like many of the WDW resort bars are standardizing their drink menus; farewell exotic, creative drink options...hello beverage banality.
With limited and uninspiring menu choices I opted for the Mango Colada - it was not very good. Jason opted for the Espresso Chiller, which was excellent, but tasted more like an evening or a dessert drink to me.
From here there was nothing to do but drown ourselves in the pool.
Tune in tomorrow for the long-awaited and over-hyped conclusion to Day 5: The Cheesesteak Incident! Guaranteed not to be worth the wait.
(that's me being horrified)
I saw it this morning! I was never good at deciphering them though. That darn J.K Rowling sure does know how to keep a secret!! 
I'll do my best to keep you crying (in a good way, of course!).
Really? Wow. I can't believe you've never caught Off Kilter 
