1-2-3 Magic?

[pajamommy]

Is this the correct name for the discipline method? What is this all about, anyone have experience with this? My DS (4) is in need of some serious discipline, more than we've already given him, we're at our wits end!! Any advice or ideas would be greatly appreciated!!

 

[janette]

This is what you are referring to:

1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12

It like most methods works sometimes. I've found a combination usually helps best. One of my favorites has always been a choice method. Simply using natural consequences. For example saying if you choose to continue to scream you choose to spend 15 minutes in your room, if you choose to stop now you choose to go to outside to play. It takes the punishment out of the equation because it make it more clear they have control of the outcome. It can also be used to help them make the correct decisions.

 

[Michelle]

We tried it for a while with some success, but it was not a long-term solution for us. My daughter is older, though, you may have better luck with a younger child. Good luck!

 

[disneychrista]

My DD mentioned something like this that their dad and step mom use on her kids. I think the basics are, the child gets three warning and after the fourth incident they have to go their room/sit in a chair or whatever for 1 minute per year of age. So your 4yo would be in "time out" for 4 minutes.

Here is a link from Amazon.com for a book about 1-2-3 Magic

 

[disneychrista]

Originally posted by janette
Simply using natural consequences. For example saying if you choose to continue to scream you choose to spend 15 minutes in your room...

Natural consequences (at least how I have heard it described) is more like if you continue to scream you will get a sore throat, if you don't wear a coat you will be cold. The consequence of the action is something that occurs on its own, not something imposed by the parent.

 

[Spinning]

Funny you should mention this...I had a post similar to this awhile back!
Our young family group was looking for information to have an inservice on this. Anyway lots of copy right laws....
But we ordered the video and watched it and just had a chat.
I think it has some good ideas but as other say it isn't the end all and be all. I also think when you start this is important too. We have always used counting( before we need it was a "style"), the kids got 3 chances to stop or they would have a punishment/time out or something taken away.
The difference with his approach as I see it you only say "That's one....wait then That's 2 and that's 3 take 5 or how ever long time out is.
If they do something that is really over the top or wrong, Hit their sister or dog you then say that is 3. You aren't suppose to talk even after the action which I have a hard time with. Granted the ground rules need to be set before hand. But I found my kids would do things I never dreamed they would do! LOL!
Granted that is a very general over view or my take on it. I think the main thing I got out of it, consistancy is the key. One parenting book I really liked:
How to talk so kids will listen
http://half.ebay.com/cat/buy/prod.cgi?cpid=141836&domain_id=1856&ad=53983&gateway=1 Hopefully the link will work.
I went to a 6 week work shop ( 11/2 hour per week) it was very good and I would highly recommend it if you get the chance.

 

[pajamommy]

Thanks everyone!! I agree that consistancy is what we need, and we are guilty of not always being consistant! Thanks for all the links, I'm going to check everything out!!

 

[worm761]

i must be a very mean mom! i say something and that counts for one. then i say two. if i have to say three you are already in trouble. i have taught my son that he is punished because of choices that he makes. i dont like the corner thing. it works with my son. but i am not consistent with it. works great for kevin. he says go and DS knows. i choose to take away privleges (sp?). works better for me.

i think every child is different. you have to parent to the childs personality. for my DS going to the corner is pure torture and that is why it works so well. he doesnt like being there.

 

[nativetxn]

If they do something that is really over the top or wrong, Hit their sister or dog you then say that is 3.

Wait, this makes it sound like you hit their sister or dog when you say 3. I had to read it a couple of times, before I finally got it.

LOL, my brain isn't working well today. I was really feeling sorry for that sister and dog

 

[Spinning]

Yikes! Native Txn I have been hashed over the coals before...now I will for sure LOL!
Glad you figured out what I was saying! When DD hits DSor DS hits DD or the dog!

 

[mom2boys]

We have found 1-2-3 Magic to be a sucessful program. We started it when our boys were about 4 & 5. It was challenging at first - seemed like all we did was punish the kids. But after a few days, they got the message that we expected them to behave. (And no, they weren't monsters, just seemed to have a bit too much control.) The boys are now 7.5 & 9. It still works but we don't do the chart thing anymore. The natural consequences do have a greater effect at this age. For example, DS2 was supposed to copy his spelling on the way to school. (We gambled on a snow day & lost. BAD MOM) He had more than enough time to do it but chose to argue about it. School policy for 2nd graders is: homework not completed must be done during recess. DS2 lost recess time while he completed his copying.
The "no talking" thing is a challenge for me too. But when you get down to it, missing recess is much more effective than listening to Mom's threats & lectures on the need to complete assignments.
BTW we were able to borrow the video from our local library.

 

[MerryPoppins]

We are big fans of Love and Logic. Check them out at www.loveandlogic.com. What Cline and Fay teach makes a lot of sense. It really works.

 

[Mermaid02]

It works, if you use it consistently. It really did wonders for our son, but then we got lazy. It didn't help that Jack had to be carried to his room and turned out to be "a room wrecker".