This just in:
Orlando, FL - If there's something strange in the neighborhood, who ya gonna call? The Ghostbusters, right? But the strange occurences of the past few months aren't exactly the paranormal spirits you may expect.
Across America, a condition known as GBDT (properly known as Ghostbuster Detox) has been spreading like a virus. Reports say there may be random, yet few, diagnosed persons outside the US of A as well.
GBDT is not your average disorder. Like alcoholism and other drug-related addictions, the state of withdrawl can be harmful to the person(s); emotionally and physically. GBDT starts out with just a simple obsession with the hot guys in the Extreme Ghostbusters Show. Those who suffer from OGBD (Obsessive Ghostbuster Disorder) experience various symptoms which include, but are not limited to, heavy and uncontrolable drooling, loss of concentration, increased adrenaline, and often cry out, "Oh my God!" and/or "Holy Smokes!" Other indications may include lewd thoughts, abnormal excitement, and aggressive denial.
Do not take this condition lightly! If a person does not receive a proper "fix" upon becoming dependant on the Ghostbusters, those around them are in for serious trouble. Very easily is OGBD turned into GBDT! If your loved one has had any withdraw from the Ghostbusters in any way, they can become irritable, upset, and depressed. While it doesn't seem serious enough, these could lead to more severe events.
DIS'r SpideyHulk had recently taken his wife (name withdrawn) to Universal Studios for a sentimental weekend to celebrate their wedding anniversary.
"It was our anniversary and we had decided we wanted it to be special. Little did I know it would be our last..." Spidey shakes his head.
Though SpideyHulk had forgotten about the possible OGBD exposure in his household merely weeks before their trip to Orlando, Florida.
"I was checking out a website for a friend," Spidey explains. "It featured numerous pictures of the Extreme Ghostbusters Show. Before I noticed and could do anything about it, my wife looks over my shoulder and says, 'We are definitely going to see that show...'"
While continuing to plan a meet with fellow DIS'r, Flyfly_Eclipse, SpideyHulk still did not realize the extent of his wife's condition and what would be in store. The three met at a Ghostbusters Show and Spidey thought nothing of it. A few hot guys, but hey, she's got him already, so no worries...right???
As soon as the show had finished, SpideyHulk heard a small splashing sound as he began to walk away from the stage. To his utmost surprise, he found a huge puddle on the ground. He glanced at the sky to find it crystal clear. He turned to his wife and noticed her, alongside Flyfly, drooling.
At that point, SpideyHulk knew he needed to get his wife away from the Ghostbusters as soon as possible; a decision that would ruin his relationship for years to come. Despite her whining and pleading, he dragged her back to the Portofino Bay Resort for what was supposed to be a romantic dinner.
"The dinner was awful!" SpideyHulk announces with an exaperated sigh. "The entire time she would say things like how 'the guy in the cowboy hat has a nice butt.' Things got worse when she began critiqueing me and compared me to the guys."
Later that evening, Spidey says his wife decided she'd rather live with the cowboy than him and upon returning home, she filed for divorce.
Though as insane as it may sound, SpideyHulk's account isn't out of the ordinary. Today, hundreds of relationships are going down the drain due to the Hot Ghostbusters and GBDT.
Some of SpideyHulk's online friends were asked to comment:
"All went to hell in a handbasket, I tell ya!," Maria said.
Due to the rise of infected persons across America...and the world, we contacted the expert: Flyfly Eclipse.
"What I have found through my experiences with and research on OGBD, as well as GBDT, is that the condition is dangerously contagious. Over 95% of women who hear about or see the the Extreme Ghostbusters will become infected."
Sad, but true. Well over half of those numbers are women of various ages who haven't even seen the Extreme Ghostbusters Show itself. Photos are the only other known source to cause such a rapid spread of OGBD/GBDT.
One of the worst cases of GBDT is a woman in England who is known as Selina. Though never seeing the show, nor seeing any of the guys in person, she is living proof of how powerful just a picture can be.
Other female DIS'rs have the same problem and crave more and more photos and updates from Flyfly.
Another way to show how easy OGBD/GBDT is spread is the fact there is no way to hide. Flyfly's cousin, a 15-year old girl from Virginia, was reluctant to like the Extreme Ghostbusters Show. When she first saw it, she claimed that Flyfly was easily amused. While doing something else at Universal Studios, the girls walk past a rather good-looking guy with spikey hair with blonde tips.
"Right then, my cousin turns around with her mouth wide open. She recognized the guy from the Ghosbusters Show," Flyfly laughs. "Since then, she would see more shows with me and even requested a CD featuring the music used in the show. In addition to that, we had recorded a couple of the shows and watched them over 10 times when driving to Georgia the next day. She caught OGBD."
In the past couple weeks, Flyfly's cousin has also been suffering a mild case of GBDT, "She sends me an e-mail begging for updates...especially of the one guy in particular. Her parents are over protective and she hides pictures I took of the show. She has also come up with plans of how I could send another tape of the show - even though she already has one - without the risk of her parents confiscating it."
Although their is no known cure for OGBD, Flyfly recommends the following in order to ensure the OGBD stays undercontrol:
* Constantly look at the nearly 80 pictures provided on my website. There is something for everyone...pictures of each guy so you are sure to find something that satisfies the urges.
*When at Universal Studios Orlando, go to every Ghostbusters Showing possible! I can not stress this enough! One show is enough to wet your tongue, but if you want to keep your OGBD under control, you must get the full dosage!!
* Videotape and rewatch the show. May seem like a hassle, but well worth it. Family and friends will rather have to sit through watching the Ghostbusters Show 10 times a day than hear you moan and groan about not seeing the hot guys.
* Join discussions about the guys and your obsession. In otherwords, join Ghostbusters Anonymous. This works much like AA, but the difference is that we aren't looking for any cure...we're just looking for another way to keep from getting withdraw at all! What's wrong with an obsession or two?
Don't let what happened to SpideyHulk happen to you! Keep your loved one happy with the proper fix of the Ghostbusters.
