Turning 40???

[anorviel]

First, wow, lots of us in the same boat! Misery loves company!

I guess what I quoted is what bugs me....that to me sounds like "so you're 40, accept that you are no longer attractive" I'm sure that's not what the post meant, but that's what I mean. I don't feel all of a sudden not pretty anymore, I don't feel like my body is falling apart, and I know I could get away saying I'm in my early 30's if I chose to.
I do like that I'm not interested in staying out all night anymore, I will like a band now even if they aren't "cool", I have no desire to go to the coolest bar anymore and I'm happy to stay in more, but still love to hang out in my dive bars when I feel like it. Things like silver strands in my hair don't bother me at all. Today I wore a dress with my Vans (gym shoes). It's an outfit I would have worn when I was young, but I still dress like that now.

I got carded the other day for wine, then the checkout lady said "time is treating you very well" and it should have been a compliment to me, but all I heard was "wow, you're old, thank god you don't look it" or something like that.

I can't put into words what's bothering me really, it's just that stupid number.

I'm just being vain and silly, I realize that. I'm not one to freak out about anything much (other than my pets), so I'm allowing myself to wallow for a while. And I think it's great there's a bunch of you who never felt like this and I know there's nothing I can do, it's better than the alternative, age is just a number, but still....ugh!

This too shall pass...I have no choice!

Thanks all!

Oh my goodness! That's not what I meant at all! And I guess I should have clarified - I didn't mean I'm confident all the time or that I don't look at myself and wonder where my 20-year old self went. I do chafe at being 40. And I did indeed feel how you do now and I don't think it's vain and silly. But I'm also almost a year into being 40 and apparently that condition isn't going to change.

I took your original post to mean that you were feeling like 40 means packing it in, throwing on a pair of elastic waist jeans, and calling your sexy self done. What I meant in my response is that that is not the case at all and that there's a certain amount of confidence that comes as we get older. It was meant as a good thing. You're the only one who can decide if she's going to pack it in and I'm getting that you don't want to do that.

You can wallow and I am happy to hand you a glass of wine and mourn the passing of time with you. But there are good things that are associated with the passage of time and I was just trying to convey that. I meant no disrespect to how you're feeling at all.

Ann

 

[amg35]

No, I know you didn't meant any disrespect, I'm just showing you how my mind warps things that people say!

Thanks for the advice and the commiserating, I appreciate it.

 

[KristaTX]

I got carded the other day for wine, then the checkout lady said "time is treating you very well" and it should have been a compliment to me, but all I heard was "wow, you're old, thank god you don't look it" or something like that.

Oh yeah. That so needs to become one of those things that you just don't say to people. It's like how you NEVER look at someone and say, "So, when is your baby due?" or assume that someone is pregnant and say something regarding it.

It's really annoying when a 22 year old finds out that you are 40+ and says, "WOW, you look great for your age!!!". It's fine if you say "She looks great for someone her age" to somebody else. But not directly to the person you are speaking of. It just means "You're so old, but you don't look old."

 

[lizabu]

I'm turning 40 in March and I'm looking forward to it. I was depressed when I turned 30 but it turned out my 30s were way better than my 20s. So now I think my 40s will be way better than my 30s. Plus spending my birthday at Disney followed by a Disney Cruise should help. My oldest is 18 and my youngest is 12 so they will all be grown before I hit 50.