Tips on becoming a saver?

[MommyMK]

$300 for a 3 year old's gift? I assume she also receives gifts from the 35 people who attend her party? What do you expect to be spending on her gift when she is 10?

 

[Brancaneve]

I agree 100% with the written budget and tracking your expenses.

We were doing really well and applying Dave Ramsey's baby steps to our financial lives back in 2006-2007, lived by the plan pretty intensely for several years, then over the course of time we kind of wandered away from the control and woke up again about 6 months ago. When I sat down and did a real analysis on what and where we had been spending in the past year I was beside myself. Amazon was a huge money sink for us, huge. And most of it was stuff we didn't need. Of course there were other things as well: travel, races (DH and I are both runners), and day to day small junk that we don't need. Then we wonder why our house is filled with cr@p that overwhelms us! Duh.

This is why I didn't renew my prime membership! It's too easy and too much of a temptation!

Getting back on a written plan has been so refreshing and liberating! When you stop the daily spend, spend, spend you realize just how much buying/saving/giving power you have. Dave Ramsey has a new budgeting tool called Every Dollar. I've switched over to it from our spreadsheets and I really like it. There are some nuances that took me a while to get comfortable with, and it isn't as complex as my spreadsheet was, but I think that's the goal with it - to keep it simple and straightforward and easy to use. It might be something for you to check out.

 

[Brancaneve]

I feel the same as you OP! It just seems like there's always a reason to spend money on an almost daily basis. Splurging at Target because we "need" something, buying coffee or another treat because we "feel like it", and giving in to the kids. The list goes on and on and we finally arrived at the point where we are sick and tired of being sick and tired(that's a Dave Ramsey quote....lol).

I often think of all the stuff I have in my house. I spend hours corraling the stuff, getting rid of the stuff, moving the stuff around and putting it in cute boxes. I'm tired of the stuff! I do not want more of it and I do not want to waste my money on more stuff!

This is what I have done to make some changes in our family:

1. I have stayed away from Target. I used to go weekly and now I just go twice a month.
2. Say "No" where and when I usually say "yes". I felt really good about myself when I turned down buying something. The rush of not spending money was better than the rush of shopping!
3. Talk to my kids about our financial goals and including them in this. Saying no to them has made me feel like a better parent in that these are all teachable moments that my children will hopefully carry through their lives. As a family, we talk daily of saving money and spending wisely.
4. Order water at restaurants. No soda since it can easily add $10 to our meal.
5. We also cancelled pest control and possibly cable(I'm having a hard time with that one!)
6. My DH and I have also decided to not buy any clothes or shoes for ourselves for awhile.
7. We also listen to Dave Ramsey everyday for inspiration. When I hear people talking about paying off large sums of debt, I get very inspired!

Best of luck!

 

[ozliz]

If you are serious about changing your habits you with have to do some serious analysis about what your habits are now. If you track your spending you will see what your current habits are.

Decide how much you would like to or need to be saving to reach your goals (both short term and long term savings goals).

Once you know what your target is you need to go through all your spending amounts and decide which ones can be cut down and which ones are a priority for you. For example, I was brought up on good food so I understand this is important, especially if you have health and weight goals. Therefore this might be an area for smaller savings. Consider the next best option in other cases, for example would small group fitness sessions be as effective as a one to one personal trainer? In other instances such as eating out, decide where this is a convenience you are willing to pay for in your busy lifestyle or whether the savings is more a priority. If your time is more important then recognise this choice so you are more aware of your habits.

Once you have gone through all the areas and decided where you can cut back and where the spending area is more important and the next best option is not enough you will have a much better idea of whether you can reach those savings goals.

Changing habits is about making concious decisions. If you are not happy with your current habits but decide that you have other priorities than what it would take to change them then this may be OK to. Just remember it is your choice at this point.

Sorry if this is a bit preachy. Just my approach.

 

[tink9702]

I guess I was looking for advice on changing the habits instead of just lectures on why the expenses I have are unreasonable to someone else.
Like, how do you throw an inexpensive birthday party with 35 guests? How do you keep your grocery costs down and still eat healthfully? What do you do for fun instead of spending $300 on concert tickets?

Birthday Party - I buy themed plates for the kids but not the adults. I never buy themed silverware or cups(too small!!!). I don't buy water bottles, just use a nice container with spout, throw in a ton of ice and fill it up with water. I do wine/beer, no mixed drinks. This year I did lemonade and didn't even buy soda and no one missed it between the lemonade and the beer&wine. I don't have a chair/table for every single person. We bought folding tables and chairs and use them over and over again yearly instead of renting them. I stick to a budget on the decorations. This year DS wanted more games so I did less decor. I also tend to double the games with the favors - so this year the kids got a Frisbee & a beach ball to take home that were used for two games at the party. We also do a very low budget on gifts from us because they are already getting a gift from each family coming. Our budget for birthday gifts is $100. I don't need more "stuff" in my house!!! I also cook all the food myself. If you don't want to do that the catering is a big part of the party expense, so just recognize that's not where you want to save money. Which is okay!

Grocery - making a list and sticking to it. So make your menu, go to the store and don't buy items that aren't on the list. I allow myself to buy one item that wasn't on the list per week. Farmer's markets, growing your own veggies are both good ideas for fabulous produce that isn't as expensive as in the grocery store. Also consider shopping at two stores - one for the produce/meat & another for boxed goods where it's a cheaper store.

Fun - we go to the library storytimes weekly, have an annual zoo pass, go hiking, swimming, playgrounds, playdates with friends at our homes. Without the kids DH and I have weekly "game nights" where we play board games and we love it. We don't eat out much, but will go out for ice cream instead as a treat, or out for breakfast partially because we all love breakfast, but it's also a lot cheaper than dinner. We ADORE travel/vacations so we do spend a lot of money on them but between vacations we have fun very cheaply. When people ask for gifts for the kids I suggest things like movie tickets, tickets to events etc. Less stuff in my house and more ways to have fun too!

For us it's all about priorities. It's a priority to go on vacation so that budget is very high. Our clothing budget is fairly low - I'm a SAHM & DH can wear jeans and a polo to work. Just figuring out what you really want to spend money on and where you aren't spending money can be a huge help in setting up where to save money.

 

[eliza61]

I feel the same as you OP! It just seems like there's always a reason to spend money on an almost daily basis. Splurging at Target because we "need" something, buying coffee or another treat because we "feel like it", and giving in to the kids. The list goes on and on and we finally arrived at the point where we are sick and tired of being sick and tired(that's a Dave Ramsey quote....lol).


Best of luck!

I think the difference is, op doesn't seem to really want to change. I too love splurging but the reality is that unless you have unlimited amounts of money, you can't continually spend, spend, spend and save. No matter what your income.
Look at all the athelets who make millions and millions of dollars, to end up broke within 5 years after they stop working. one simple reason, they spent all their money.
You can always "justify" any thing you spend money on. "I need to throw my kid a 1000 dollar party", "I need all organic food". on and on and on.

I was just in Montreal, which is one of the fur capitals of the world (yes I have always wanted a fur coat). I could have easily justified why I "needed or deserved" to finally buy one but if I had I would have either had to take the money out of savings or given up something else. both of those were choices I didn't want to do. So this winter my very nice wool coat will continue to be it.

 

[honeybunches]

When people ask for gifts for the kids I suggest things like movie tickets, tickets to events etc. Less stuff in my house and more ways to have fun too!

So smart! I need to remember this. My friends/family ask what to get my kids, and I always think of their current favorite cartoon or whatever. We need no more clutter!

 

[tink9702]

Forgot to add that the kids are often asking "can I have that toy" - my answer is sometimes yes, but often no, followed by a "we're saving money to go to Disney, or to go to the amusement park, or whatever vacation/event we have planned next." "You can put it on your birthday/Christmas list though so we don't forget what you want."

 

[EvieBug]

So smart! I need to remember this. My friends/family ask what to get my kids, and I always think of their current favorite cartoon or whatever. We need no more clutter!

Experiences are always more fun! My brother likes to gift things like a day with him and his wife at a cider mill (eldest has a fall birthday) - so she gets to go have fun for a day with Aunt and Uncle, all on their tab. It's great if they get the movie tickets and the day with the kiddo or whatever.

Another idea is to have relatives kick toward lessons/sports - my daughter just started gymnastics, and if she continues doing as well as she is and starts to compete, I will be asking for extra outfits or $$ toward lessons from some relatives. If you have a kid in an equipment heavy sport this can really help.

 

[Colleen27]

Forgot to add that the kids are often asking "can I have that toy" - my answer is sometimes yes, but often no, followed by a "we're saving money to go to Disney, or to go to the amusement park, or whatever vacation/event we have planned next." "You can put it on your birthday/Christmas list though so we don't forget what you want."

We do that too, as much to keep the clutter down as to teach them about budgeting. With three kids and a very old home (read: not a lot of closets/storage spaces), if I bought even half of the stuff the kids ask for I'd be drowning in toys! It sort of backfired when they got to their teens, though; they have a hard time giving us birthday ideas sometimes because they just don't want much stuff. As often as not they want concert/event tickets or a single big-ticket item rather than toys, clothes, jewelry, etc. Last year my mom, inlaws, and I all went in on a single expensive (~$600) birthday gift for DD13 because it was the only thing she wanted and cost more than any of us would have spent on our own.

 

[KristinU]

OP, I'm wondering if it helps you to know that folks in your income range and higher watch their spending and do budgeting and say "no" to stuff? It is just so easy to get sucked into the cultural norms and just go along with what we see that "everyone" is doing. It is hard to emulate the savings part because we don't walk around with account and investment balances stapled to our shirts. It is entirely possible to see people that appear to have a lower income because of their spending habits but their income is actually higher.

And your daughter is a prime age to start having her keep her own money in her own wallet. We handle the I-want-itis at the store with DS by asking if he has his wallet with him (we started this at age 4). If not (which is usually the case, even now) we tell him we can come back if he wants something. 99 times out of 100, he's over it by the time we get home, and if not it is his money and he can make the choice with it.

 

[crisi]

OP, I'm wondering if it helps you to know that folks in your income range and higher watch their spending and do budgeting and say "no" to stuff? It is just so easy to get sucked into the cultural norms and just go along with what we see that "everyone" is doing. It is hard to emulate the savings part because we don't walk around with account and investment balances stapled to our shirts. It is entirely possible to see people that appear to have a lower income because of their spending habits but their income is actually higher.

Its also easy to judge people and have them have a much higher income than you know about.

I know a guy with a few million dollars worth of trust fund. He and his wife both work - but neither has a great job, both part time - yet they travel and live comfortably - if not extravagantly. If you didn't understand that his family was wealthy, you wouldn't understand how they make their small income stretch.

And he isn't the only one I know who has a family source of income. A former coworker gets another complete income from oil being pumped off his wife's father's land. A friend of my ex-husband has his widowed mother giving them thirty thousand dollars every year to avoid inheritance tax. A friend inherited $100,000 when her biological father died. Another former coworker has a multi-millionaire grandfather in law who is spending down his money by bringing the whole family on an expensive trip each year - 30 people on safari in South Africa.

So you start to think "well, THEY can manage to go to Europe and she's a Stay at Home Mom and he teaches high school Math, we HAVE to make more money than they do" - without realizing that Europe is a gift from Grandpa.

 

[CAFarmerGirl]

Its also easy to judge people and have them have a much higher income than you know about.

I know a guy with a few million dollars worth of trust fund. He and his wife both work - but neither has a great job, both part time - yet they travel and live comfortably - if not extravagantly. If you didn't understand that his family was wealthy, you wouldn't understand how they make their small income stretch.

And he isn't the only one I know who has a family source of income. A former coworker gets another complete income from oil being pumped off his wife's father's land. A friend of my ex-husband has his widowed mother giving them thirty thousand dollars every year to avoid inheritance tax. A friend inherited $100,000 when her biological father died. Another former coworker has a multi-millionaire grandfather in law who is spending down his money by bringing the whole family on an expensive trip each year - 30 people on safari in South Africa.

So you start to think "well, THEY can manage to go to Europe and she's a Stay at Home Mom and he teaches high school Math, we HAVE to make more money than they do" - without realizing that Europe is a gift from Grandpa.

I always wonder how people are able to afford things that seem out of our reach. When we went to S Dakota, we hit during Sturgis week. We have a $10k truck and an even cheaper travel trailer. Bonus: they are paid for...lol. Anyhow, we saw a lot of new $50k trucks pulling newer $50k trailers that were hauling $30k bikes (I actually have no clue what the bikes cost, just that there were usually 2 very shiny Harley's in the trailer). What the heck?? And obviously the people at the bike rally do not look like your suit and tie folk.

 

[crisi]

I always wonder how people are able to afford things that seem out of our reach. When we went to S Dakota, we hit during Sturgis week. We have a $10k truck and an even cheaper travel trailer. Bonus: they are paid for...lol. Anyhow, we saw a lot of new $50k trucks pulling newer $50k trailers that were hauling $30k bikes (I actually have no clue what the bikes cost, just that there were usually 2 very shiny Harley's in the trailer). What the heck?? And obviously the people at the bike rally do not look like your suit and tie folk.

See, that's funny. I've been part of some high powered circles in Twin Cities companies for a LONG time. The number of attorneys and Vice Presidents and corporate CXOs I know who go to Sturgis cannot be counted on my fingers, I'd need to take off my shoes. And those are the ones I know about who have admitted their hog riding ways to me. The first time it was brought up (by the at that time Chief Counsel for Pillsbury) I was a little shocked. Now I assume that all executives are either Sturgis goes or marathon runners (lots of runners in that set as well - and surprisingly, some overlap).

(There is also at least one former astronaut out there that I know)

 

[Colleen27]

I always wonder how people are able to afford things that seem out of our reach. When we went to S Dakota, we hit during Sturgis week. We have a $10k truck and an even cheaper travel trailer. Bonus: they are paid for...lol. Anyhow, we saw a lot of new $50k trucks pulling newer $50k trailers that were hauling $30k bikes (I actually have no clue what the bikes cost, just that there were usually 2 very shiny Harley's in the trailer). What the heck?? And obviously the people at the bike rally do not look like your suit and tie folk.

You just never know, that's why comparing (never mind trying to keep up with the Joneses) is such a pointless exercise. Maybe those people don't have kids, or lived their whole lives in their "starter" home, or have family money, or are successful in businesses that don't demand a suit and tie. Or maybe they're in debt up to their eyeballs for their toys. Guessing is pointless. All we can do is live the best we can, in accordance with our priorities and within our own financial circumstances.

And remember... A suit can hide a lot of ink!

 

[CAFarmerGirl]

See, that's funny. I've been part of some high powered circles in Twin Cities companies for a LONG time. The number of attorneys and Vice Presidents and corporate CXOs I know who go to Sturgis cannot be counted on my fingers, I'd need to take off my shoes. And those are the ones I know about who have admitted their hog riding ways to me. The first time it was brought up (by the at that time Chief Counsel for Pillsbury) I was a little shocked. Now I assume that all executives are either Sturgis goes or marathon runners (lots of runners in that set as well - and surprisingly, some overlap).

(There is also at least one former astronaut out there that I know)

Haha...that explains a lot! And, we were staying at the family centered KOA...so, they all had a very nice vibe (no loud, drunken parties at the KOA that week!).

 

[angierae]

My coworker who makes $10/hr more than me can't figure out how we can afford to go to Disney next year at the budget I have set. Except they have three car payments for two adults (and her husband's truck payment is over $400 a month) whereas we have one $200 a month car payment.

They enjoy having nice cars (and having a back up third car in case he doesn't want to drive his big gas-guzzling truck). I enjoy going to Disney.

 

[usnuzuloose]

My coworker who makes $10/hr more than me can't figure out how we can afford to go to Disney next year at the budget I have set. Except they have three car payments for two adults (and her husband's truck payment is over $400 a month) whereas we have one $200 a month car payment.

They enjoy having nice cars (and having a back up third car in case he doesn't want to drive his big gas-guzzling truck). I enjoy going to Disney.

I don't have a car payment, and I prefer not to have one. In fact our engine went out on one vehicle. And I really enjoy the car. We saved so much by putting in another engine. I will be so glad to have it back when it is done.

 

[fbb]

Its also easy to judge people and have them have a much higher income than you know about.

I know a guy with a few million dollars worth of trust fund. He and his wife both work - but neither has a great job, both part time - yet they travel and live comfortably - if not extravagantly. If you didn't understand that his family was wealthy, you wouldn't understand how they make their small income stretch.

And he isn't the only one I know who has a family source of income. A former coworker gets another complete income from oil being pumped off his wife's father's land. A friend of my ex-husband has his widowed mother giving them thirty thousand dollars every year to avoid inheritance tax. A friend inherited $100,000 when her biological father died. Another former coworker has a multi-millionaire grandfather in law who is spending down his money by bringing the whole family on an expensive trip each year - 30 people on safari in South Africa.

So you start to think "well, THEY can manage to go to Europe and she's a Stay at Home Mom and he teaches high school Math, we HAVE to make more money than they do" - without realizing that Europe is a gift from Grandpa.

Honest question: How do you know these things about your friends and coworkers? I have never had a conversation about money with my friends, coworkers, or family. I would probably find their finances very interesting, but it's not worth sharing mine to learn theirs, because everything is going to be measured and judged one way or another.

 

[crisi]

Honest question: How do you know these things about your friends and coworkers? I have never had a conversation about money with my friends, coworkers, or family. I would probably find their finances very interesting, but it's not worth sharing mine to learn theirs, because everything is going to be measured and judged one way or another.

We talk about it.