The I am a pirate/fireman, I am not a hijacker thread, all about nothing in general

[welley]

I don't have children, so I can't comment about schools policies. But from an outsiders perspective, you should talk to the principal. It's not right, nor fair.

Hope your little one is ok.

 

[aussietravellers]

So, venting

My DS's school rang my DH today because the little fella got a fat lip while playing tag in the playground.

But when DS is telling me the story of how it happened it turns out the kid slapped him across the face

I am madder than a cut snake.

This is the 4th incident with a student this year.

1st one was a kid stole his money out of his hand in the classroom

2nd was another kid in his class yelling at him and pushing him around

3rd was pushed in the mud by same kid two days in a row

4th slapped in the face playing a game of tag

My DS isn't an angel but he's a pretty good kid, and clever (the bully in his class doesn't yell at him anymore because he helps him with his schoolwork ) and he's small.

Might be the end of big holidays for a while, because i'm probably putting him in another school which may cost alot more than where he goes now

Becpee, that is just terrible! Like others have said, I would be up to the principal for a meeting. Take all of the info that you have. Try not to get emotional (which is SOOOO hard when your baby is being treated badly, all you want to do is protect them and jump on that bully!) and be firm and demand action.

I haven't had a bullying issue with my son, well not from a student. He did have a bullying issue from a teacher a few years back and I sat in that office, with all of my proof, documentation (the idiot actually gave lots of his bullying/abuse in writing ) until I was seen by the headmaster. So the situation was handled quickly and very very well (and the teacher was not there the next year ).

I hope you get it sorted out and your DS can have some peace at school without fear of being bullied

 

[PrincessInOz]

So, venting

My DS's school rang my DH today because the little fella got a fat lip while playing tag in the playground.

But when DS is telling me the story of how it happened it turns out the kid slapped him across the face

I am madder than a cut snake.

This is the 4th incident with a student this year.

1st one was a kid stole his money out of his hand in the classroom

2nd was another kid in his class yelling at him and pushing him around

3rd was pushed in the mud by same kid two days in a row

4th slapped in the face playing a game of tag

My DS isn't an angel but he's a pretty good kid, and clever (the bully in his class doesn't yell at him anymore because he helps him with his schoolwork ) and he's small.

Might be the end of big holidays for a while, because i'm probably putting him in another school which may cost alot more than where he goes now

As the others have said, make an appointment with the teacher and the principal today.

We were tolerant about some of the playground bullying that DS was subjected to. Kids always have to put up with some degree of 'pecking order' in the playground. It does teach them to deal with the "real world" and how to work with hierarchy (formal or informal) in a work place.
But we drew the line when the bullying started to get physical.

It will help if you put the series of incidents as a letter addressed to the principal. The school has to put the letter on file. That way, if you need to escalate outside the school, you've got something on file to back you up.

The school has a number of "values" that they publically state that they teach their kids. We walked into the appointment with the principal and pretty much quoted the key ones of tolerance, respect etc.; and how that was not being displayed in the playground.
We also knew that DS had tried to go tell teachers about incidents but no one would listen to him.
We told them that we'd been working with DS to ignore verbal taunts and also to tell the bullies to back off and/or walk away.
We also told them that DS did not 'dob' but where he was being physically hurt by another child was when to draw the line.
We then asked the teacher and principal what they were going to do to ensure the physical safety of a student in their care.
Then we sat back and listened to what they would say.

The best outcome we could have hoped for was that there would be a teacher that DS could go to and report incidents. His classroom teacher agreed to that.
The principal also promised to gather all the kids together and talk to them about respect and tolerance. I know that he did do it; but the bullying continued in the playground.
They stopped short of promising to talk to the parents of the bullies. I didn't expect that to happen.

We've pulled DS out of that school this year and moved him. Thankfully, it has turned out to be the best move we made.

 

[aussietravellers]

So... have just been to the Dr.

A couple of weeks ago, when my DS was away in Canberra on a school trip. I had to take over the dog feeding duties. One night I knelt down to put the dog food in the bowl and heard this massive pop.

That did not sound good I said to myself. Over the next couple of days i had a very sore knee, that seemed to go from under me when I walked. But it did settle down.

Last friday I went for coffee with a friend and the coffee shop had these stupid couches that were really low, so when you sat down, it was way lower than you expected and we both went, Woooo as we sat and seemed to fall for ever. It was hard to sit in the couches and I think getting up I kind of crunched my knee again. So friday afternoon/evening my knee was getting sore. By Saturday morning I could not walk. Well I could not bend my knee. It was so sore and swollen. It isn't sore when I am not moving it, just when I try to bend it.

So it's been almost a week and I was working/vouluneering yesterday at a local charity and it was the first day since that I had been on my feet for an extended time. Up until then, whenever I'm home I try to keep it up as much as possible. Well it blew up like a balloon yesterday and they were all saying that I should go and get it looked at.

Never having had knee issues before, i just expected it was some sort of stretched muscle and would heal eventually. But after nagging and the way it was so sore last night after being on it all day. I decided to head to the Dr this morning!

Told the Dr what was wrong... showed him where it was sore, how it goes from under me when I walk down the stairs, kind of seems to want to flick out to the side when I walk, can't bend it, very swollen etc!

He has told me that I have done some major damage, I'm booked in for an MRI next week and at the end of the week he has booked me in to an Orthopaedic surgeon. Not liking the sound of that! Don't want surgery!

 

[PrincessInOz]

Aussietravellers - Noooooo!!! I hope the MRI goes well and you get good news.

 

[BecBennett]

Owies! I hope it maybe just needs some physio!

 

[alicia1506]

So... have just been to the Dr.

A couple of weeks ago, when my DS was away in Canberra on a school trip. I had to take over the dog feeding duties. One night I knelt down to put the dog food in the bowl and heard this massive pop.

That did not sound good I said to myself. Over the next couple of days i had a very sore knee, that seemed to go from under me when I walked. But it did settle down.

Last friday I went for coffee with a friend and the coffee shop had these stupid couches that were really low, so when you sat down, it was way lower than you expected and we both went, Woooo as we sat and seemed to fall for ever. It was hard to sit in the couches and I think getting up I kind of crunched my knee again. So friday afternoon/evening my knee was getting sore. By Saturday morning I could not walk. Well I could not bend my knee. It was so sore and swollen. It isn't sore when I am not moving it, just when I try to bend it.

So it's been almost a week and I was working/vouluneering yesterday at a local charity and it was the first day since that I had been on my feet for an extended time. Up until then, whenever I'm home I try to keep it up as much as possible. Well it blew up like a balloon yesterday and they were all saying that I should go and get it looked at.

Never having had knee issues before, i just expected it was some sort of stretched muscle and would heal eventually. But after nagging and the way it was so sore last night after being on it all day. I decided to head to the Dr this morning!

Told the Dr what was wrong... showed him where it was sore, how it goes from under me when I walk down the stairs, kind of seems to want to flick out to the side when I walk, can't bend it, very swollen etc!

He has told me that I have done some major damage, I'm booked in for an MRI next week and at the end of the week he has booked me in to an Orthopaedic surgeon. Not liking the sound of that! Don't want surgery!

wow... that sounds EXACTLY like the damage I did to my knee when i was 15 and was stupid on a skiing trip. called subluxation of the kneecap... basically your kneecap pops off and just rolls around on top of your knee. can happen when you have very well developed ligaments and strong thigh muscles... anyway, long story short.. orthopedic surgery and 12 mths of PT later, and i was 'cured'... but i've had arthritis in my knee since i was 15 and it still bothers me to this day...

so i'm praying that what you have is NOT what i had... i wouldn't wish that on anybody

feel well soon!!!

 

[Andona]

So... have just been to the Dr. ...


He has told me that I have done some major damage, I'm booked in for an MRI next week and at the end of the week he has booked me in to an Orthopaedic surgeon. Not liking the sound of that! Don't want surgery!

Oh no, that sounds awful ! I really hope the MRI has some more positive news for you . Hope also that you can get some recovery time and give that knee a rest!

Andona

 

[Andona]

So, venting

My DS's school rang my DH today because the little fella got a fat lip while playing tag in the playground.

But when DS is telling me the story of how it happened it turns out the kid slapped him across the face

I am madder than a cut snake.

This is the 4th incident with a student this year.

Definitely go to the Principal!! My youngest DS was subjected to bullying back in primary school, ( not so much physical, but nasty name calling from many kids, exclusion etc) I wrote the teacher and the Principal a letter about it initially. I found that was the easiest way to state my case without getting emotional.

I received a phone call that day and had an immediate interview. They were fantastic about it and dealt with it promptly and thoughtfully. The bullying stopped straight away.

The schools in our area have a zero-tolerance policy for physical violence and take ANY incident very seriously , I really hope your Principal has the same attitude.

Andona

 

[WAMUMOF4]

So, venting

My DS's school rang my DH today because the little fella got a fat lip while playing tag in the playground.

But when DS is telling me the story of how it happened it turns out the kid slapped him across the face

I am madder than a cut snake.

This is the 4th incident with a student this year.

1st one was a kid stole his money out of his hand in the classroom

2nd was another kid in his class yelling at him and pushing him around

3rd was pushed in the mud by same kid two days in a row

4th slapped in the face playing a game of tag

My DS isn't an angel but he's a pretty good kid, and clever (the bully in his class doesn't yell at him anymore because he helps him with his schoolwork ) and he's small.

Might be the end of big holidays for a while, because i'm probably putting him in another school which may cost alot more than where he goes now

I hope the school deals with this quickly in our experience they didnt because they were aware the child doing the bullying and his mother were being watched by docs ahh hello not an excuse to bully other kids needless to say i walked out of the principals office got my child from the classroom and we went to another school. I hope you get a better result than we did.

Aussietravellers I hope you get good news from your MRI

 

[battymum]

While we are ranting,

My DD has just come in from having her first driving lesson with an instructor

Anyway the guy was beyond middle age, wearing fleecy track pants...

Apparently he spent the whole time telling her how much money he gave his kids, 50k each on their 21st, their first cars, 300 pw to survive at uni - and how terrible it was that she had to work part time for her own spending money.

TBH I dont believe any of it, but she hasnt shut up about it since - and how we are such terrble parents because we cant afford all of that.

I am laughing it all off - and I dont think she is serious (much) but its annoying me - and I think it was really unprofessional of the instructor. I have a mind to call the company and complain (the driving bit was OK though)

 

[alicia1506]

While we are ranting,

My DD has just come in from having her first driving lesson with an instructor

Anyway the guy was beyond middle age, wearing fleecy track pants...

Apparently he spent the whole time telling her how much money he gave his kids, 50k each on their 21st, their first cars, 300 pw to survive at uni - and how terrible it was that she had to work part time for her own spending money.

TBH I dont believe any of it, but she hasnt shut up about it since - and how we are such terrble parents because we cant afford all of that.

I am laughing it all off - and I dont think she is serious (much) but its annoying me - and I think it was really unprofessional of the instructor. I have a mind to call the company and complain (the driving bit was OK though)

that is terrible... i mean, if he's a father with scads of disposable income, good on him, but to comment on your child's job and to comment on your DD's situation... uncool.

if it was my child .. and i'm just guessing here as i don't have any just yet ... i would be saying fine.. i'll give you $xxx per week... but it means you don't get to come on the disney vacations anymore.. see which one she chooses

 

[Anne_Aus]

Yeah not the best conversation topic and shouldn't he have been focusing on her driving and not distracting her anyway

 

[alicia1506]

and since it seems to be rant day.. i'll add my rant to the pile...

so tuesday i get told at 10.50 that i have an 11am meeting with my manager and my manager's manager.

get pulled into an office in the middle of the company with glass walls, just the 3 of us and told very politely that i'm not meeting the requirements of my employment, and this is a formal hearing about my absenteeism. i'm warned that if it continues, 'disciplinary action' will be taken. my manager is there to take notes apparently.. this is a meeting where it is carefully explained that i have exceeded the allocated quota of leave, it's impacting the business and i need to shape up or ship out. they're not questioning the validity of my leave, but you know... it needs to stop.

then they ask for details. why was i taking so much leave? why have i not been doing my job? etc etc. i tell them the same thing i have told them all along. escalating medical issues leading to gall bladder infection, diagnosis, treatment and eventual removal. that was a kind of one time event. sure, it lasted the better part of approx 6 months from onset to extraction, but it's over. it's not like it's gonna grow back... yeah, they say, but what about the 2 days you had off last week? oh, you mean when i got electrocuted and couldn't use my hand/arm etc? that little thing? yeah... how was i supposed to control that one, genius?

but i smile and utter polite niceties about how i understand their position, and that i will agree to fortnightly meetings to monitor my absence... if i have one more day in the next 3 months, i'm gone... so come hell or high water or bubonic plague or car accident or missing limbs... i'm going to be at work as i don't relish having to look for a new job in this current climate.

i had to sign a document that says that i agree to their 'disciplinary action' if i have more leave... oh, and a project that i spearheaded and shepherded and freaking well implemented has been taken from me and given to someone else in the team.... because apparently if you've had a period of indefinite leave, it means that you don't get development opportunities til you're a better employee.

and i get it, i really do. they pay me to be at work and they don't pay me when i'm sick. but it's not like my gall bladder is going to grow back. i have a medical certificate for each absence (and those aren't cheap with the cost of visiting the doc these days) plus the loss of pay for each absence. i've complied with their leave policy and i disclosed to them details of my health that i wouldn't even share with family, all in the hopes of making them see that i am being completely open and honest about a genuine medical issue here... but all they see is the bottom line & # of days absent. so... that's where i am at.

oh, and i got my performance appraisal today. Exceeding expectations on every single performance criteria, and for some of them, exceeding the exceeding expectations criteria.

so on the one hand... i suck and they want me to shape up or ship out.

on the other hand... model employee.

 

[BecBennett]

Well I don't have anything to rant about, so I'll just say "LOUD NOISES!!!"

Having said that - Alicia - look for another job. I know you've said you don't want to, but there are better places/better people out there to work for. Better off looking for another job now while you still have one, then to wait for them to fire you because you need a day off.

I've worked both sides of the coin, I've worked for a company with serious "Big Brother" and micro-managing issues, and I'm now working for a company that is a lot more relaxed, it's not about the time you're working, or even about how you work, just so long as the work is being done, then you're doing your job.

I know that I could be earning a lot more money if I took my experience to another company, but because of the working conditions I have now I'm not going any where. You need to feel comfortable where you are.

 

[WAMUMOF4]

and since it seems to be rant day.. i'll add my rant to the pile...

so tuesday i get told at 10.50 that i have an 11am meeting with my manager and my manager's manager.

get pulled into an office in the middle of the company with glass walls, just the 3 of us and told very politely that i'm not meeting the requirements of my employment, and this is a formal hearing about my absenteeism. i'm warned that if it continues, 'disciplinary action' will be taken. my manager is there to take notes apparently.. this is a meeting where it is carefully explained that i have exceeded the allocated quota of leave, it's impacting the business and i need to shape up or ship out. they're not questioning the validity of my leave, but you know... it needs to stop.

then they ask for details. why was i taking so much leave? why have i not been doing my job? etc etc. i tell them the same thing i have told them all along. escalating medical issues leading to gall bladder infection, diagnosis, treatment and eventual removal. that was a kind of one time event. sure, it lasted the better part of approx 6 months from onset to extraction, but it's over. it's not like it's gonna grow back... yeah, they say, but what about the 2 days you had off last week? oh, you mean when i got electrocuted and couldn't use my hand/arm etc? that little thing? yeah... how was i supposed to control that one, genius?

but i smile and utter polite niceties about how i understand their position, and that i will agree to fortnightly meetings to monitor my absence... if i have one more day in the next 3 months, i'm gone... so come hell or high water or bubonic plague or car accident or missing limbs... i'm going to be at work as i don't relish having to look for a new job in this current climate.

i had to sign a document that says that i agree to their 'disciplinary action' if i have more leave... oh, and a project that i spearheaded and shepherded and freaking well implemented has been taken from me and given to someone else in the team.... because apparently if you've had a period of indefinite leave, it means that you don't get development opportunities til you're a better employee.

and i get it, i really do. they pay me to be at work and they don't pay me when i'm sick. but it's not like my gall bladder is going to grow back. i have a medical certificate for each absence (and those aren't cheap with the cost of visiting the doc these days) plus the loss of pay for each absence. i've complied with their leave policy and i disclosed to them details of my health that i wouldn't even share with family, all in the hopes of making them see that i am being completely open and honest about a genuine medical issue here... but all they see is the bottom line & # of days absent. so... that's where i am at.

oh, and i got my performance appraisal today. Exceeding expectations on every single performance criteria, and for some of them, exceeding the exceeding expectations criteria.

so on the one hand... i suck and they want me to shape up or ship out.

on the other hand... model employee.

Gosh Alicia it sounds like you've got workplace bullying going on there, I hope when you get back from your trip your able to secure another job where they appreciate you

battymum i would be if that was me DS16 has been having driving lessons and they don't talk to him about anything other than driving which is is exactly what we are paying them to do, maybe its worth a call to the company.

 

[becpee]

and since it seems to be rant day.. i'll add my rant to the pile...

so tuesday i get told at 10.50 that i have an 11am meeting with my manager and my manager's manager.

get pulled into an office in the middle of the company with glass walls, just the 3 of us and told very politely that i'm not meeting the requirements of my employment, and this is a formal hearing about my absenteeism. i'm warned that if it continues, 'disciplinary action' will be taken. my manager is there to take notes apparently.. this is a meeting where it is carefully explained that i have exceeded the allocated quota of leave, it's impacting the business and i need to shape up or ship out. they're not questioning the validity of my leave, but you know... it needs to stop.

then they ask for details. why was i taking so much leave? why have i not been doing my job? etc etc. i tell them the same thing i have told them all along. escalating medical issues leading to gall bladder infection, diagnosis, treatment and eventual removal. that was a kind of one time event. sure, it lasted the better part of approx 6 months from onset to extraction, but it's over. it's not like it's gonna grow back... yeah, they say, but what about the 2 days you had off last week? oh, you mean when i got electrocuted and couldn't use my hand/arm etc? that little thing? yeah... how was i supposed to control that one, genius?

but i smile and utter polite niceties about how i understand their position, and that i will agree to fortnightly meetings to monitor my absence... if i have one more day in the next 3 months, i'm gone... so come hell or high water or bubonic plague or car accident or missing limbs... i'm going to be at work as i don't relish having to look for a new job in this current climate.

i had to sign a document that says that i agree to their 'disciplinary action' if i have more leave... oh, and a project that i spearheaded and shepherded and freaking well implemented has been taken from me and given to someone else in the team.... because apparently if you've had a period of indefinite leave, it means that you don't get development opportunities til you're a better employee.

and i get it, i really do. they pay me to be at work and they don't pay me when i'm sick. but it's not like my gall bladder is going to grow back. i have a medical certificate for each absence (and those aren't cheap with the cost of visiting the doc these days) plus the loss of pay for each absence. i've complied with their leave policy and i disclosed to them details of my health that i wouldn't even share with family, all in the hopes of making them see that i am being completely open and honest about a genuine medical issue here... but all they see is the bottom line & # of days absent. so... that's where i am at.

oh, and i got my performance appraisal today. Exceeding expectations on every single performance criteria, and for some of them, exceeding the exceeding expectations criteria.

so on the one hand... i suck and they want me to shape up or ship out.

on the other hand... model employee.

Umm WT heck?

These people in your workplace were probably the bullies at school

I am putting my "concerns" in writing and will be delivering it tomorrow, the thing I liked about this school was they have 4 basic beliefs which cover all situations, which is fine if the school will acknowledge when the beliefs are broken, but in this case they are not.

 

[becpee]

I cant stand seeing the little ones getting bullied, I'm on it like a flash when I see it....why are we so cruel to each other?????

MY DH was bullied in yr 10,way before anti bullying policy was popular and he still relives the pain of it 25+ years later. It scars the soul.He only mentioned it again last night, so those wounds run deep, even with successful middle aged men.

So if I could ever get my hands on those guys who did it to him......but funny he bumped into one of them a few years ago...it turned out he was actually working as a contractor for DH, so karma is a B*tch...

So true, I was also bullied at school and it never leaves you, although karma has come back to bite my bullies as one of them is a drug affected scum bag who is ****ed in the head, it's a pity she bred...

 

[alicia1506]

So true, I was also bullied at school and it never leaves you, although karma has come back to bite my bullies as one of them is a drug affected scum bag who is ****ed in the head, it's a pity she bred...

yeah karma got my bullies too... little consolation though when you don't like the person you see in the mirror cause all those taunts and fears and doubts and horrid things still lurk inside you

 

[BemaniAK]

and since it seems to be rant day.. i'll add my rant to the pile...

so tuesday i get told at 10.50 that i have an 11am meeting with my manager and my manager's manager...
[More words here]

http://www.fairwork.gov.au/Pages/default.aspx
If it escalates further go straight here.
If you have a good Union (Or a union at all) that you trust, go to them first.
Your managers will be incredibly displeased with you and will likely keep a close eye on you for any legitimate reasons to boot you out (But given your performance appraisal that is unlikely) but they will think twice about doing something this ridiculous again.

You probably already know all the outlets to get this problem looked at, I just thought I'd chime and mention: Employers incredibly scared of fair work officials and good Unions, especially when they know (and trust me, they know) they're doing the wrong thing.
When I worked retail last year just about every member of Staff was used to giving up their 15 minute paid breaks but clocking them in and out anyway, after putting up with it for a month and getting ridiculed by managers for demanding the right to take them I called up the SDA and each member of staff got a personalized note from the managers about the importance of breaks, problem apparently hasn't resurfaced since I left.