Snow-Wigd and the Christmas Elves, a December pre-trip!

[Wrexie]

Looks like you've got a great trip in the works! Planning with so many people involved sounds tough. I'll be there a bit after you in early January, so be sure not to break anything!

I planned a family vacation in a couple of cottages in a West Virginia State Park last year, and that was tricky enough!

Subscribing to read more!

 

[Happydog]

WigD -- what a bummer that your FES isn't working out??!! I hope whatever happens works out. Does Baylor just not like him or is he not nice to Baylor? How awful.. sounds very imature, and ungrateful for the opportunity... Are there other FES in the area? Was he the only placement around you? Hope it all works through.

I look foward to hearing more about your Christmas plans... I really want to hear about all that shopping you have done for your grandaughter!!!

 

[PracPerfPatricia]

Hey Anita,

I am fully caffeinated and reading the last two pages of your PTR...um after the embarrassment of not realizing that Shocker was your husband at first......

I'm sorry to hear about your FES...hoping today he's been good and you're calling him Max...

That's a shame...It's nice of you to host-(I'm thinking of doing it myself next year-I think it would be a great experience for the kids-especially Emily who'll be 15 next week-16 next year) I think that it's a great opportunity for FES and it would be great for Baylor to learn about the cultural differences too (especially from another guy) as long as FES isn't being a jerk...maybe you can turn him in for another FES...one who is nicer...or maybe once he adjusts he will be nice...it could just be male posturing stuff...

Waiting to see how things work out...-this is almost better than watching tv...-it's like a reality tv program...

 

[eandesmom]

Oh Wigd.....I feel bad with you re: the FES. That is certainly more than you bargained for. My eldest teen is very difficult and oppositional, so I know what you are going through and its NOT YOUR KID! I just ordered the Total Transformation. I watched the infomercial about 6 months ago and finally decided to give it a try. I was skeptical and it costs about $300 with S & H, but son's grades have already been slipping just in the first 5- 6 weeks of school. I have been listening to the CDs for the last week and implementing the tools and I have already seen a change in his behavior. In fact, he just got a 94 on a precalc quiz. I am learning that you can't be friends with certain kids. You have to be very black and white, set limits, no reasoning, and carry through when you say there is going to be a certain consequence for a bad behavior. Already I feel like I am getting my moneys worth and I am not even half way through the series.

Anyway ....on a lighter note, I started my TR today (no pics yet) and the best news is......I just made a reservation for the Wilderness Lodge Villas for May 2 - 7th!. I am so excited. I fell in love with the place when we ate at Artist's Point and I decided I was going to try there before even the BCV. When MS said there was a 2BR avail for my dates I almost fell off my chair and decided not to search any further. I'm pretty excited!!!!!!!

Ok, not to hijack but good to know on the total transformation if we ever need it and congrats Mary Ellen on WLV! I hope to stay there someday.

It makes you feel like a complete failure, believe me, I know. I also know that there are times that the placement just doesn't work out.

awww....don't feel that way! You are clearly trying really really hard. I'm sorry that it's gotten to the point that Baylor doesn't want to be alone with him, that's awful. On the flip side good for Baylor for acknowledging that and not thinking FES is cool! Silver lining.

Your plans look great! Osbourne lights!

 

[wigdoutdismom]

Looks like you've got a great trip in the works! Planning with so many people involved sounds tough. I'll be there a bit after you in early January, so be sure not to break anything!
I'm really hoping they all have a great time!

I planned a family vacation in a couple of cottages in a West Virginia State Park last year, and that was tricky enough!

So did you all have lots of fun?

Subscribing to read more!

WigD -- what a bummer that your FES isn't working out??!! I hope whatever happens works out. Does Baylor just not like him or is he not nice to Baylor? How awful.. sounds very imature, and ungrateful for the opportunity... Are there other FES in the area? Was he the only placement around you? Hope it all works through.

It's been such a tough time....
He has been teasing Baylor, a lot. So much in fact that he has humiliated Baylor in front of our neighbor boys that Baylor has been friends with for year...
We've tried to talk to him and he just didn't see what the problem was.

I look foward to hearing more about your Christmas plans... I really want to hear about all that shopping you have done for your grandaughter!!!

I need to pull out some bags and take pictures, then there will be a few items in the souvie post in that trip report that needs to be finished!

Hey Anita,

Hey Patricia!

I am fully caffeinated and reading the last two pages of your PTR...um after the embarrassment of not realizing that Shocker was your husband at first......

Yep that was funny but I totally understand.

I'm sorry to hear about your FES...hoping today he's been good and you're calling him Max...

We are all walking on eggshells around here at the moment.

That's a shame...It's nice of you to host-(I'm thinking of doing it myself next year-I think it would be a great experience for the kids-especially Emily who'll be 15 next week-16 next year) I think that it's a great opportunity for FES and it would be great for Baylor to learn about the cultural differences too (especially from another guy) as long as FES isn't being a jerk...maybe you can turn him in for another FES...one who is nicer...or maybe once he adjusts he will be nice...it could just be male posturing stuff...

It's really sad because Baylor was the main reason we decided to host. Sure we have more than enough space for an extra person or two but honestly, Baylor is lonely. His older sisters are no longer in the house. He's basically an only child. He misses the interaction with people that aren't old like us. I'll admit that Baylor can be sensitive but the problems went well beyond him just being sensitive. I can't have my son afraid to come home from school....

Waiting to see how things work out...-this is almost better than watching tv...-it's like a reality tv program...

I think we could be featured on some reality TV program.... Drama with FES (Max), caring for a parent with dementia/Alzheimer , a step parent that had a massive stroke that is in a care home and just life. Wow!

Ok, not to hijack but good to know on the total transformation if we ever need it and congrats Mary Ellen on WLV! I hope to stay there someday.

I agree congrats Mary Ellen!

awww....don't feel that way! You are clearly trying really really hard. I'm sorry that it's gotten to the point that Baylor doesn't want to be alone with him, that's awful. On the flip side good for Baylor for acknowledging that and not thinking FES is cool! Silver lining.

It has been a very rough week here!

Your plans look great! Osbourne lights!

You can't believe how excited we are to see Disney dressed up for Christmas and especially Osbourne Lights!

 

[PracPerfPatricia]

The FES situation has been tense, Baylor has started staying at school with me until I get my work done and sometimes it takes me an hour or two. He just doesn't want to go home and be alone with FES. Most definantly not a good thing.

I was thinking about this...I read it and then fully processed it...is this kid a little disturbed? ( FES.).....the fact that Baylor is afraid to be at home with him by himself... I'm pretty kind hearted and willing to give anyone a second chance but if he is being mean/intimidating towards your son-who is not only his host but considerably younger...you may have to "exchange" him...


God...I hate mean people...

 

[shannn]

The FES situation has been tense, Baylor has started staying at school with me until I get my work done and sometimes it takes me an hour or two. He just doesn't want to go home and be alone with FES. Most definantly not a good thing.

I was thinking about this...I read it and then fully processed it...is this kid a little disturbed? ( FES.).....the fact that Baylor is afraid to be at home with him by himself... I'm pretty kind hearted and willing to give anyone a second chance but if he is being mean/intimidating towards your son-who is not only his host but considerably younger...you may have to "exchange" him...
God...I hate mean people...

I totally agree with this! If he's causing Baylor to dread coming home, then he'll have to go! Kids have enough to deal with without having to put up with that!

 

[wigdoutdismom]

The FES situation has been tense, Baylor has started staying at school with me until I get my work done and sometimes it takes me an hour or two. He just doesn't want to go home and be alone with FES. Most definantly not a good thing.

I was thinking about this...I read it and then fully processed it...is this kid a little disturbed? ( FES.).....the fact that Baylor is afraid to be at home with him by himself... I'm pretty kind hearted and willing to give anyone a second chance but if he is being mean/intimidating towards your son-who is not only his host but considerably younger...you may have to "exchange" him...

Honestly I think it's a maturity thing. He's not a bad kid, really he isn't but is very much into himself. Baylor asked Marc if Max would beat him up. I personally don't think that would happen. Baylor is just so stressed and sad about the whole ordeal. We tried to tell Max that there is a 6 year difference between and he needed to stop the taunting, but he just doesn't. Max thinks he is playing. Baylor just isn't having much fun in this game.

God...I hate mean people...

I'm not sure that I think he is mean, just doesn't know how to treat a younger sibling, no compassion at all.

I totally agree with this! If he's causing Baylor to dread coming home, then he'll have to go! Kids have enough to deal with without having to put up with that!

Yes, I think he will be with us a few more days then he will be moved. I feel bad about the whole situation. I hope the next home works out, if not he goes back to Germany. I really wish him the best and I hope he has a successful year.

 

[Flossbolna]

Anita, I am sorry that things did not work out with your FES. But if he is not willing to understand that his behaviour towards his younger host brother is causing harm, I think that is a very bad sign. In order to "survive" as an exchange student in a foreign country you need to be able to adapt your behaviour to your new environment. And even if he can't figure it out himself, refusing to accept what he is being told, really is absolutely inappropriate for an exchange student! It really sounds like there isn't anything you could have done better.

I can understand that you feel like a failure, even if you aren't. We had one exchange student from Sweden who decided that our family was unbearable and told my mother on the morning of my mother's 50's birthday that she had decided to leave us. It did not improve my mother's mood on her birthday... This was the last year my sister was still at home before going of to University and my parents originally had decided that this would be our last year as host family. But they did not want to end it that way and we had another exchange student from Sweden who was just great!

 

[Charleston Princess]

Good morning, Anita! I scrolled through pretty quickly this morning, but see that you are sending FES on his way -- it's a shame that didn't work out, but you are going to be so relieved when it is over and done with!

 

[MeMom]

I'm not sure that I think he is mean, just doesn't know how to treat a younger sibling, no compassion at all.


Yes, I think he will be with us a few more days then he will be moved. I feel bad about the whole situation. I hope the next home works out, if not he goes back to Germany. I really wish him the best and I hope he has a successful year.

I think you're going to breathe a huge sigh of relief and be very glad to get your home back to normal when this is all over. Home is your sanctuary, and when you can't leave the crazy outside world and come home to peace and comfort, then that is no good.

Maybe he'll do well in the next placement, and if not, then he needs to go on back to his home. Maybe that's what he's trying to do, anyway. You never know how kids are going to play out getting what they really want. What is he saying about the move?

I'm sorry Baylor had to deal with this, but at the same time, as in anything, there are lessons to be learned. Baylor will probably be more aware of the feelings of others now and have more compassion for both friends and strangers who are going through being taunted.

I will just wish Max the best for his future and hope that he will look back on this event in his life and learn from it, too.

And I'll be very glad for you to get back your peaceful home and family.

 

[jenjolt]

Uggh what a dilemna Anita!! I have to agree with everyone else and think its for the best that FES moves on, especially with it affecting Baylor so!! You have to do what you have to do to protect the security of your family!!!! I'm sorry you have so much going on right now!!!! Sending you lots and lots of pixie dust!!

 

[wsushocker]

I think you're going to breathe a huge sigh of relief and be very glad to get your home back to normal when this is all over.

"back to normal"?

Now that is really funny.....

 

[vamassey1]

I just wanted to comment on the Baylor being lonely thing.

I have big age gaps between my kids too. There is a 5 year gap between 1 and 2 and a 9 year gap between 2 and 3. Michelle (19) moved out August 1st leaving just Danielle (10) at home. At first she couldn't wait to be the only kid at home. When I told her Michelle was moving back home at the end of September she was on cloud nine. She was lonely. Of course child number 1 who is 24 may be moving back in December to do his student teaching here. She's even more excited about that.

 

[lmillercrew]

Well Anita, I'm so happy that your family will return to its "normal" self.Too bad that Baylor had to go through all of that. At least now he can go home after school and not have to worry about getting beaten up.

 

[wigdoutdismom]

Anita, I am sorry that things did not work out with your FES. But if he is not willing to understand that his behaviour towards his younger host brother is causing harm, I think that is a very bad sign. In order to "survive" as an exchange student in a foreign country you need to be able to adapt your behaviour to your new environment. And even if he can't figure it out himself, refusing to accept what he is being told, really is absolutely inappropriate for an exchange student! It really sounds like there isn't anything you could have done better.

I can understand that you feel like a failure, even if you aren't. We had one exchange student from Sweden who decided that our family was unbearable and told my mother on the morning of my mother's 50's birthday that she had decided to leave us. It did not improve my mother's mood on her birthday... This was the last year my sister was still at home before going of to University and my parents originally had decided that this would be our last year as host family. But they did not want to end it that way and we had another exchange student from Sweden who was just great!

Good morning, Anita! I scrolled through pretty quickly this morning, but see that you are sending FES on his way -- it's a shame that didn't work out, but you are going to be so relieved when it is over and done with!

I think you're going to breathe a huge sigh of relief and be very glad to get your home back to normal when this is all over. Home is your sanctuary, and when you can't leave the crazy outside world and come home to peace and comfort, then that is no good.

Maybe he'll do well in the next placement, and if not, then he needs to go on back to his home. Maybe that's what he's trying to do, anyway. You never know how kids are going to play out getting what they really want. What is he saying about the move?

I'm sorry Baylor had to deal with this, but at the same time, as in anything, there are lessons to be learned. Baylor will probably be more aware of the feelings of others now and have more compassion for both friends and strangers who are going through being taunted.

I will just wish Max the best for his future and hope that he will look back on this event in his life and learn from it, too.

And I'll be very glad for you to get back your peaceful home and family.

Uggh what a dilemna Anita!! I have to agree with everyone else and think its for the best that FES moves on, especially with it affecting Baylor so!! You have to do what you have to do to protect the security of your family!!!! I'm sorry you have so much going on right now!!!! Sending you lots and lots of pixie dust!!

"back to normal"?

Now that is really funny.....

I just wanted to comment on the Baylor being lonely thing.

I have big age gaps between my kids too. There is a 5 year gap between 1 and 2 and a 9 year gap between 2 and 3. Michelle (19) moved out August 1st leaving just Danielle (10) at home. At first she couldn't wait to be the only kid at home. When I told her Michelle was moving back home at the end of September she was on cloud nine. She was lonely. Of course child number 1 who is 24 may be moving back in December to do his student teaching here. She's even more excited about that.

Well Anita, I'm so happy that your family will return to its "normal" self.Too bad that Baylor had to go through all of that. At least now he can go home after school and not have to worry about getting beaten up.

Thanks everyone for all of the kind and supportive words. We are going through a tough time. It's quite uncomfortable for ALL of us waiting for the new placement to occur. Max has been promised the chance at two families, if the next doesn't work out then he will have to return to Germany. It doesn't look like he will be able to remain in our community so that means a change in schools. This may be a good thing for him since he has made some unwise choices in friends. I know it will be hard for him to start over though.
I know we have learned from this experience and I hope he has too.

Soon we will return to our normal, dysfunctional weirdness....

 

[wsushocker]

Soon we will return to our normal, dysfunctional weirdness....

more like disfunctional

 

[kschafer]

Geez Anita, dealing with all this FES crap must be incredibly stressful. I'm sure you will be very releaved it will be over soon. Maybe moving to a new school will be a good thing for him

Soon we will return to our normal, dysfunctional weirdness....

YAY!

(oh, and I wanted to let you know that I am available to be the 7th elf at christmas if necessary )

 

[Happydog]

more like disfunctional

VERY VERY CLEVER That HAD to make WigD smile!!!

 

[DreaGirl]

Okay, page 7 and I just realized that you started a new PTR. I really need to look at signatures.

I'm sorry FES didn't work out. It seems like the best for everything rather than suffer through it for an entire year.

As for the locker, what about "ManpriDisLocker"?

Your plans look great. Does Harper sleep in the stroller? We took our DD when she was 17 months and we learned after the 2nd day that it was easier to have her nap in the stroller because she would fall asleep on the way back to the resort and then there was no nap. Just an idea. :