Simpler times.

[mhara]

I know of plenty.

I also know of many children who were murdered, molested and many women who died of botched abortions.

Really? That's awfully sad and must have been very difficult for you. It would be quite unusual to have had even one experience like that, but to have had many of both? Strange.

 

[JanaDee]

we would physically go get kids to play, pick up games were the norm. We didn't have to set things up on a cell phone and be able to exclude anyone. If you were playing kickball or whatever on the street it was fair game for anyone to join in. Today , if I dare to hang laundry out on a clothesline in my back yard my neighbors would complain. I miss the "way-back" of the station wagon I miss things taking time and people appreciating and using stuff 'till it's worn out , not until the next version comes out.

I am a big fan of Miranda Lambert's new song "Automatic"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jntvWC-1gwA

oh yeah...WDW was more affordable to my family in the 70's than it is now. I miss that BIG time

Here's the video... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ksWKOy665o

 

[JanaDee]

I know of plenty.

I also know of many children who were murdered, molested and many women who died of botched abortions. These are things I was unfortunately privy to because my parents took in lots of lost souls. Every week I'd wake up and there was another stranger living with us because my Mom would never let anyone be homeless, in pain or alone.

None of these things ever made the news. Lots of tragedies I lived with in the inner cities weren't newsworthy back then.

When my Mom died hundreds of people contacted us. People who thanked her for being there when no one else was. I couldn't believe how many people treasured her, but I did, too.

They made sure we were safe and nurtured but didn't hide us from the underbelly of the world. It was like a lesson of what NOT to do. Some of us listened, some of us didn't. All I know is I'm glad my son is growing up in a BETTER world.

Go back? NEVER. I like NOW.

Where some of us grew up, there was no such thing as the "underbelly of the world".

 

[RitaE]

I know of plenty.

I also know of many children who were murdered, molested and many women who died of botched abortions. These are things I was unfortunately privy to because my parents took in lots of lost souls. Every week I'd wake up and there was another stranger living with us because my Mom would never let anyone be homeless, in pain or alone.

None of these things ever made the news. Lots of tragedies I lived with in the inner cities weren't newsworthy back then.

When my Mom died hundreds of people contacted us. People who thanked her for being there when no one else was. I couldn't believe how many people treasured her, but I did, too.

They made sure we were safe and nurtured but didn't hide us from the underbelly of the world. It was like a lesson of what NOT to do. Some of us listened, some of us didn't. All I know is I'm glad my son is growing up in a BETTER world.

Go back? NEVER. I like NOW.

Wait, you grew up in the underbelly of Murder, Molestation and Abortion but never met anybody who owned a gun until you moved to the South?

Huh, quite a trick.

I grew up in a small town that was a Mayberry Wannabee. Nobody ever got murdered or was homeless so Ma didn't have to give them refuge.

 

[jrmasm]

I'm completely confused now about which is better, now or then.

 

[JanaDee]

I'm completely confused now about which is better, now or then.

Guess that all depends on whether you grew up in Mayberry or you lived where murder, molestation and rape were seemingly daily occurrences.

 

[LSmith]

Do you remember the days when a bully picked on you and you told your dad? He would tell you to kick the kids butt. Now the parents call the police and file a lawsuit.

Yes, and I'm happy that people would call the police rather than have their children fight bullies, who, more than likely already know they can kick their butt.

What would you do right now if an adult wanted to physically fight you? Would you fight back or call the police?

 

[jrmasm]

Guess that all depends on whether you grew up in Mayberry or you lived where murder, molestation and rape were seemingly daily occurrences.

But it seems that those things happen all the time now too?

I must have lived and now live in some parallel universe.

 

[mhara]

Yes, and I'm happy that people would call the police rather than have their children fight bullies, who, more than likely already know they can kick their butt.

What would you do right now if an adult wanted to physically fight you? Would you fight back or call the police?

Kids need to learn to stand up for themselves to a certain extent too though. And there are degrees in bullying like everything else and the response should vary accordingly. Three bigger kids jump you and beat you up? Call the police. One kid pulls your hair and calls you names? Kick his butt.

 

[Colleen27]

Guess that all depends on whether you grew up in Mayberry or you lived where murder, molestation and rape were seemingly daily occurrences.

That's probably quite true. And that may not be as much a function of the times as of a change in socio-economic standing in the intervening years.

 

[LSmith]

Kids need to learn to stand up for themselves to a certain extent too though. And there are degrees in bullying like everything else and the response should vary accordingly. Three bigger kids jump you and beat you up? Call the police. One kid pulls your hair and calls you names? Kick his butt.

Know what happens when you fight back? You get suspended from school or the bully's parents call the cops and then your kid gets charged. Stupid move to tell your child to kick someone's butt. I'm not talking specifically about defending yourself against an attack. That is completely different and I tell my kids to defend themselves any way they can in situations like that.

So what would you do if an adult wanted to fight you?

 

[jrmasm]

That's probably quite true. And that may not be as much a function of the times as of a change in socio-economic standing in the intervening years.

Don't forget to consider people's imaginations getting the better of them.

 

[LSmith]

Don't forget to consider people's imaginations getting the better of them.

Oh the good ole days, when men were men and...

 

[mhara]

Know what happens when you fight back? You get suspended from school or the bullies parents call the cops and then your kid gets charged. Stupid move to tell your child to kick someone's butt. I'm not talking specifically about defending yourself against an attack. That is completely different and I tell my kids to defend themselves any way they can in situations like that.

So what would you do if an adult wanted to fight you?

LOL, an adult wanting to fight me is a bit different to kids getting picked on, which is what the original post was about. Thanks for calling me stupid, but I've always told my child to never hit first but always hit back if she ever got a smack at school. Thankfully that hasn't happened yet.

 

[LSmith]

LOL, an adult wanting to fight me is a bit different to kids getting picked on, which is what the original post was about. Thanks for calling me stupid, but I've always told my child to never hit first but always hit back if she ever got a smack at school. Thankfully that hasn't happened yet.

You must be super sensitive. I didn't call you stupid. I said it was a stupid move to tell kids to fight.

 

[mhara]

You must be super sensitive. I didn't call you stupid. I said it was a stupid move to tell kids to fight.

Yep, that must be it all right.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Wait, you grew up in the underbelly of Murder, Molestation and Abortion but never met anybody who owned a gun until you moved to the South?

Huh, quite a trick.

She probably knew people who possessed (or even owned) guns, but maybe not on display like in rural areas. And if such things are kept secret, I can certainly see how one might grow up assuming nobody they knew owned guns.

 

[LisaR]

I was a child of the 70's and I honestly don't remember ever hearing about a child dying accidently. Obviously kids did die and still do, just not anyone I knew.

I was unlucky enough to know of multiple accidental injuries or deaths:

The toddler directly across the street from us put a plastic bag over her head when left alone for a bit and suffocated. This was my BFF's little sister.

The neighbor to the right of us lost their son when he ran out into the street to retrieve a ball and a car hit him. He was playing with my brother and a pack of other kids. I was just a baby.

The neighbor to the left of us had a son who lost a leg due to a lawn mowing accident. I was twelve. I remember seeing it and how horrid it was. The next day though, I was out mowing our lawn.

 

[Colleen27]

Colleen, not all of us changed how we parent, except insofar as we have to follow the local laws. The only thing that I do differently that my parents did not, other than carseats and seatbults, is to hover too much over making sure their schoolwork gets done. (I do NOT ever second-guess teachers about their work, though. They take their academic lumps when they screw up.)

Of course not everyone changed but enough did to create a pretty significant cultural shift in a relatively short period of time. My mom grew up in a working class part of Detroit, taking public buses to school without a parent starting in 4th or 5th grade. I wasn't allowed to take the bus to the mall in our suburban community until I was in high school. Now I'm a mom and while my kids have a fair bit of freedom most of my 16yo's friends aren't even allowed to bike the mile to the local movie theatre in our "Mayberry" town. That is a massive shift in norms over just two generations and a half-century, and I don't think it would have come about if a sizable chunk of the Boomer generation wasn't aware of and uncomfortable with the risks they were allowed to take in their youth.

 

[luvsJack]

I live in the same rural area where I grew up in the 70s.

We roamed all over the place, stayed outside until dark. I was a latch key kid (didn't really have a name for it then) from about 5th grade and cooked myself something to eat when I got home and sometime cooked supper (with Mom on the phone giving me directions). In high school, there were plenty of guys with shotguns and rifles at school, hanging in the window of their truck in a gun rack (NEVER had a school shooting or even a threat). Weekends were spent just hanging out at a cafe in the tiny town where the high school is. Lots of drag racing at the quarter mile that someone had even painted a starting line and finish line for (road just out of town that was fairly straight and seldom used). Or hanging out, driving around the mall (dd thinks that it is so funny that we spent time driving in a circle around the mall!) Only money we needed was for gas and maybe two of us to split a hamburger and fries.

When my sons were growing up in the 90's, they played out in the woods around our house with their cousins. Played war and cowboys and whatever other shooting game they could think of--no real guns although they all had them for hunting. They rode bikes all over the community and later did the same on 4-wheelers. Swam in the creek down the road or in the pond sometimes. Went fishing by themselves. As teens they too "hung out" somewhere. Usually a parking lot with other members of their "truck clubs" who all had the neon lights on the vehicles, and whatever else they could afford.

And now dd. As a child, she too played with cousins all day everyday. Mom had a pool by then so they all stayed in the pool during the summer. When she went to my in-law, her and her cousins there had a grand time spending hours traipsing all over the fields and into the woods just playing. As teens, they don't just hang out and socialize. They go to the movies or they go shopping or they visit each other or plan a outing somewhere. They have no idea the fun that can be had without a dime to spend! (and it really can be good clean fun too) I really think its a shame that there isn't much of anywhere the teens can just go to be together and socialize a lot.

As for fighting---well when dh was in school if two boys got into a fight, the principal would give the boxing gloves and tell them to fight it out.

When ds was bullied, after trying everything else, we told him to stand and fight. He did, the bullying stop.

Dd came along and we told her the same thing. Try everything else first. And when all else fails, stand and fight.

Honestly, regardless of changes, standing your ground is the best way to back a bully down.