I haven't been on the boards for a while but this community seems a good place to seek advice on social norms. My 30 something daughter is in a significant relationship, not yet "engaged". But she talks of marriage and wedding and honeymoon costs to me frequently. She also wants to buy a home. She has lived and worked very independently since she graduated from college.
Now both of us took out loans for her education. An east coast out of state school even with financial aid cost us an arm and a leg. She was a stellar student and graduated a semester early. But when the economy tanked she was laid off from her job and we paid her bills for a couple of months until she found a new job.
But to get back to the point, even though there's been no proposal yet she's talking wedding costs to me. When she was a teenager and obsessed with a 4 day wedding I had promised X amount to her for her wedding. Well the recession hit us hard and now we can only offer 1/4 of that. But here's the thing. Her salary is higher than her dad's. And her boyfriend makes more than she does.
I told her how much money we could afford to give her. She was so curt, so disappointed. I have a traditional IRA from when I was working that has plenty of money to cover her wedding. I just need to die!
I'm venting here because I don't want to say something really mean but can't take back.
Other mothers out there, what do you think?
Now both of us took out loans for her education. An east coast out of state school even with financial aid cost us an arm and a leg. She was a stellar student and graduated a semester early. But when the economy tanked she was laid off from her job and we paid her bills for a couple of months until she found a new job.
But to get back to the point, even though there's been no proposal yet she's talking wedding costs to me. When she was a teenager and obsessed with a 4 day wedding I had promised X amount to her for her wedding. Well the recession hit us hard and now we can only offer 1/4 of that. But here's the thing. Her salary is higher than her dad's. And her boyfriend makes more than she does.
I told her how much money we could afford to give her. She was so curt, so disappointed. I have a traditional IRA from when I was working that has plenty of money to cover her wedding. I just need to die!
I'm venting here because I don't want to say something really mean but can't take back.
Other mothers out there, what do you think?