Never Shopping Again - Update in Post #1

[leight]

OP- you were right to be scared and I am sorry that the store employees didn't respond/react in a more assuring or suitable manner.

I worked with metally ill adults in a community residence for over 7 yrs and am quite used to odd and off behavior. I still feel uncomfortable with a stranger when they act in a manner that is odd or threatening.

I had a client who made me completely uncomfortable and I reported him numerous times without avail. A few months after I resigned he was kicked out for making a threat to a supervisor and was shortly thereafter arrested for murdering a stranger at the social security administration. Always go with your gut when it comes to your safety and that of your child!

IF the employees knew him and felt safe they would have told him to leave. THey did not take precautions for your safety. Take it up the corporate ladder.

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

Thank you to everyone for their concerns and kind words. I updated my first post.

 

[Ilike2Lurk]

Unlike you, I didn't get the drama vibe. I got my-personal-safety-is-being-threatened vibe.

I used to work at 7-11 when I first started college right out of high school. Company protocol did not allow us to basically protect ourselves in case of a robbery. I don't know how it is for the company now, but in this day and age with so many cases of workplace violence I wouldn't be so complacent.

It's dangerous to not go with your instincts and be so complacent. There have been too much violence in the world.

OP, maybe you can change how they handle those kinds of situations. Maybe not. Next time call 9 1 1 yourself. I have done this because like I said I am not complacent and I don't put too much credence in others. You just never know these days.

I can recollect many, many incidences of mentally ill people assaulting or even murdering people in Hawaii. One incident was at a Burger King. An innocent customer was bludgeoned to death with a hammer. Just recently a paranoid schizophrenic man killed a taxi driver and a couple taking pictures on top of Tantalus. Yup, you just never know when people will snap.



Ditto. Never compromise your safety.

Yes. I agree. Two words: Lane Bryant

OP, your story gave me chills

 

[Ilike2Lurk]

I've been in a store where one customer had sawed off handcuffs! (ALDI).. did I let it bother me? NO.
Do I just move on with my life? YES.

Wow. It would be hard to "move on" after seeing a customer with sawed off handcuffs

Actually, fear is good. It is our body warning us that something is wrong.

 

[Cindy B]

Wow. It would be hard to "move on" after seeing a customer with sawed off handcuffs

Actually, fear is good. It is our body warning us that something is wrong.

I was in line at Aldi. If you know anything about Aldi, because it takes forever to load, ring, unload, bag.. you just don't leave. We just avoided the guy (no direct conversation) and moved on with our day.

What good would it have done to do anything? Nothing. I avoided contact and moved on with my life.

I never returned to that Aldi.

I don't know. I lived in the city for my years and volunteered in deep urban areas for about 8 years. These deep urban areas were well, not very safe for anyone, let alone a person who would be a minority in those areas. I've definetely seen my share of ill/unbalanced people.

I work with special needs students and some are definetely unbalanced.

It really takes a lot for me to be scared. I'm going to find out my student teaching rotation soon. One of the possible placements is a jail. At first, I thought I wouldn't like the jail. Then I got to thinking, I will have two guards in the room at all times with me. I would work in a small group who is determined "safe" enough to be in the annexed school. I'd be fine with it.

A friend of mine did the jail rotation already. She said she felt safer than any other placement that she has been in.

 

[Vivianne]

I lived in NYC in different neighborhoods that some people wouldn't like to live in.

My sister was mugged in the apartment bldg we lived in. My mother was mugged by a man on the street when I walked with her and we chased him down the block. Actually, I was running after my mother trying to stop her. Police blocking the street we were crossing and pulling their guns to stop a car with some criminal. I've seen assaults, unstable people on the subway. Our apartments have been robbed numerous times. I lived there when "Son of Sam" was killing people at random. When someone was pushing people in the subway tracks and the train severed a young violinist fingers that had to be re-attached.

Yes, we were scared. I lived in this type of environment for 20 years and can say that to calmly accept it is not the norm in those areas. When people see unstable people in a subway car, they take notice and get the heck out of there. It's better to avoid confrontation, because you can wind up a statistic. If you're trapped that's a whole other ball of wax. What you do learn is how to be cautious in those circumstances. Do you what you need to make yourself safe. The police will not be there for you at a moments notice. That's how we survived.

 

[fey_spirit]

The problem is just because he's always been harmless, doesn't mean he'll always be harmless.
All it takes is that one time he finally goes over the edge for one or more people to end up dead.

When dealing with someone who might very well be seriously mentally disturbed, caution is always the better part of valor.

Really nothing to be scared with in this situation. It sounds like the man has done this before and it is really a non issue. He wasn't shooting, just shouting obscenities.

Quite frankly, at 12 years old I'm sure he has heard those words before.

Souds like the guy has problems and that the store is used to it. If you work or live near a larger city, it has its share of crazies all the time. You just roll with it and move on.

 

[fey_spirit]

Uh Huh - my question is best for who?

I'm sorry that happend to you I would have been scared to death, but I guess if the store didn't feel the need to call the cops I Guess they know best, maybe they knew calling the cops would have made the issues worse

 

[Kickapoo Joie Juice]

Uh Huh - my question is best for who?

Yeah, I agree. Never trust what other people's instincts are telling them. Trust your own first. Remember the lemmings...

 

[MickeyP]

I've had a lot of experience with mentally ill, and while I would've brushed this off I think you were more affected than most. (Maybe not most)
I'm glad your husband took action. Have you considered counseling for you and your son? Threatening lives is no joke.
I'm also sorry that you feel more comfortable with your budget board friends than your actual friends. Give them a chance. They might surprise you.

 

[HALEYSMOMMOM]

Wow! Looks like I'm kind of late to the game here, but after reading some of this, I can tell you I would be just as scared as you! And if I had my child with me, that would have made it even worse for me! Yes, I would have went home and cried, and yes I would have called the store and complained, and no I would never go back!
I feel sorry for those of you who feel like you are "used to this" kind of thing going on around you. I definitley am not, and don't ever want to be!

 

[mom2rose&john]

To the OP - I am shaking just reading this post. I also live in your area and frequently shop at the stores in that plaza. I am stunned by all the responses that you should of treated the situation as a normal day out . For five minutes this man is at the door, this is not normal behavior IMO. You have a right to be fearful. I hope you are emotionally okay and please be proactive to get closure on this situation. Maybe a call to the Cheektowaga police to alert them of the situation will put you more at ease?