Never Shopping Again - Update in Post #1

[grlpwrd]

Unlike you, I didn't get the drama vibe. I got my-personal-safety-is-being-threatened vibe.

I used to work at 7-11 when I first started college right out of high school. Company protocol did not allow us to basically protect ourselves in case of a robbery. I don't know how it is for the company now, but in this day and age with so many cases of workplace violence I wouldn't be so complacent.

It's dangerous to not go with your instincts and be so complacent. There have been too much violence in the world.

OP, maybe you can change how they handle those kinds of situations. Maybe not. Next time call 9 1 1 yourself. I have done this because like I said I am not complacent and I don't put too much credence in others. You just never know these days.

I can recollect many, many incidences of mentally ill people assaulting or even murdering people in Hawaii. One incident was at a Burger King. An innocent customer was bludgeoned to death with a hammer. Just recently a paranoid schizophrenic man killed a taxi driver and a couple taking pictures on top of Tantalus. Yup, you just never know when people will snap.

We should listen to our gut feelings and not worry about being dramatic. Why on earth would anyone compromise their safety or childrens safety to wait and see? I would much rather be saying, "I sure looked silly diving for cover and calling the cops than saying I don't have my child anymore because I didn't do anything.
As for the poster that wanted to see what the husband thought to assess the situation, I don't need my husband or any man to validate my reaction before I can see if it is warranted and asking that question is insulting to women everywhere. That you are a woman makes it even worse. This is not 1950, we get to vote and everything now.

Ditto. Never compromise your safety.

 

[eliza61]

Op, next time call the cops. Seriously! You have the absolute right to feel safe in a store and it is the stores responsibilty to provide the safety. I don't give a flying flip who this guy was. Whether or not he's done this before or people " feel you live for drama"or what. That's not the issue, the issue is you felt that you and your child were threatened. that is a problem. I would have started throwing shoes and causing a big enough scene they would have called the cops on me

 

[Miss Jasmine]

This would have bothered me as well, especially in light of all the store shootings and such that have been happening. This is also why I am working on obtaining a Concealed Carry Permit. Next time just call law enforcement yourself.

 

[alicenwonder99]

That would have upset me alot, too! I don't blame you for coming home and crying. That is definitely not something that is the "norm" at our mall. If the stores are taking a passive approach to this man, then I would never shop there again. PERIOD! I'm sure there are many other malls to shop at. Spend your money where you and your family feel safe.

 

[Cindy B]

Really nothing to be scared with in this situation. It sounds like the man has done this before and it is really a non issue. He wasn't shooting, just shouting obscenities.

Quite frankly, at 12 years old I'm sure he has heard those words before.

Souds like the guy has problems and that the store is used to it. If you work or live near a larger city, it has its share of crazies all the time. You just roll with it and move on.

 

[branv]

OP -- you are NOT being overly dramatic. It would be an upsetting event for most, but especially for a parent whose child is with them at the time. Frankly, the news is full of stories of violent events where people had a number of warning signs that they ignored. Then afterward everyone is shocked and ask, "Why didn't anyone do anything?" This is exactly that kind of event. Maybe nothing will come of it, but there's just as much a possibility that something will. Obviously this guy is off his rocker -- if he can do this sort of thing, there is absolutely nothing that says he won't escalate it one day.

The store has a responsibility to protect their customers and their employees. I don't care if that means they have to call the cops 20,000 times. If the local cops won't do anything, they should be talking to the property owners. Property owners do not want to tick of their tenants, and with enough complaining can at least put added pressure on the local cops or hire their own security (which they really should have anyway).

And lets be honest. Even if this guy never gets violent, what store in their right mind will subject their patrons to obscenities and threats from the same person over and over without doing anything about it? Give me a break -- is that not just about the stupidest position to take from someone who wants customers to keep coming back and spending money in their store?

Don't let it get you down -- your instincts are correct here, and there is nothing wrong with being protective of yourself and your child, as well as being concerned about those who visit the store in the future. If the district manager won't do anything about it, I would also call or email the person above them and approach it not only from a safety standpoint, but a "why would I want to shop here if I'm dealing with that?" standpoint. Money talks.

 

[mickeyfan2]

There is a McDonalds near us. One day we go in and see a women dressed for winter and it is 95 degrees outside. She is talking to herself. She seems harmless so we sit down near her and eat. We see her repeatedly over the next few months to maybe a year, then we don't see her again.

I go to get my hair cut at a strip mall about a 1/2 mile from the McDonald's and there she is sitting outside. I ask the person I know and they explained that she is banned from the McDonalds since she did something to another customer. I see her at that strip mall a few more times and then she is gone. She did something to a person there and was banned from the strip mall.

We thought she seemed harmless but apparently she wasn't. She did far less whenever we saw her than that man did. I would tell them your story and they better hope that nothing happens to a customer.

BTW This woman was so skinny and boy could she eat!!!!

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

For everyone who posted, thank you for your understanding and kindness. After a terrible nights sleep, and my son waking in the middle of the night to talk (this is the boy who could sleep 20 hours straight, wake up and say he's tired) I have decided to go to the local police station and file an incident report. I know that it is a day late and a dollar short, but if it makes the police aware of his presence then I feel I did help in some way.

For the poster who said that a 12yo boy has heard all the obscenities... Yep he has and probably says them also, but when then are coupled together in a sentence with words/actions that are directed to you and are meant in a harmful manner, I would consider him a child and a young child at that. Boys are allowed to be scared and I am very proud of him for coming to me and telling me how he felt. We had a good talk and I hope he will bounce back soon. Its a sad society now, kids are not given a chance to let their guard down and have fun like we did when we were younger.

And finally, in case I left this out, I couldn't call 911 because I did not have a cell phone on me. I asked the young lady behind the counter to call but she refused. I didn't go get the manager because I pretty much froze in my spot and was covering up my son behind me. I do not plan on going back to that store and I will make it known to the store and anyone I know locally what their policy is on the safety of their patrons.

I will let you know what District had to say after they have called.

 

[HeyIt'sMe]

I would have been scared too. You just hear too much on the news of shootings in public places. You just never know what can happen.

My DH had a similar incident - - not at a store but in the parking garage near his office. He got to work early one day and took a few minutes to clean out his car. He walked over to a trashcan and there was a man standing behind a support beam. The guy says "What are you doing? What are you throwing away?". DH said "What business is it of yours?" and the guy responds "I need to see some ID". DH asks him if he's a cop and the guy doesn't say anything. The guy starts to walk towards DH so DH says "You take one more step towards me and I'll lay you out!". As DH walks away the guy says "I'll be watching you".

So DH goes down to the office in the parking garage to talk to management. They knew who the guy was - some homeless/mentally ill guy that lives in a nearby shelter - that apparently does that time to time. The manager said he hadn't been there in a while. And then he said they were surprised he bothered DH because he usually just harasses the women. Geez. The manager said he'd call the police. DH hasn't seen the guy since.

 

[maggiew]

Here in Chicago we recently had a man go into a Lane Bryant store and shoot several people. Several died. Unfortunately in today's society you can't be sure that situations like the OP experienced are no big deal. You have to take every case seriously.

Maggie

 

[pixiewings71]

WOW! That would scare me too!! OP I'm sorry you and your son had to go through that. I'm not sure what I would do in that situation but I can say that is part of the reason I carry a cell phone and have the direct numbers for the local police in my phone. From hard experience I know that many times when you call 911 on a cell phone you get highway patrol 911 and not the local pd. Anyway, it doesn't matter if he does it a lot, it doesn't matter if he seems harmful or not, it's still scary! You have every right to complain OP and please do fill out a police report, never be shy about doing that.

 

[problemchild718]

Your not from NY are ya? Only kidding-stuff like that happens frequently in NY and the ER where I work in NJ.
Sorry you and your son got a taste of it. And sorry that its no big deal for us in this area. What has the world come to?

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

Your not from NY are ya? Only kidding-stuff like that happens frequently in NY and the ER where I work in NJ.
Sorry you and your son got a taste of it. And sorry that its no big deal for us in this area. What has the world come to?

Yep NYS, but Western New York, Buffalo area...

 

[pjlla]

Not much to add here, but I am so SHOCKED that people are giving YOU a hard time about this! That would bother me almost as much as the original incident!! You came here to share a scary incident and get some ideas from your BB "friends" and some of them have the NERVE to tell you that you are overreacting and to suggest that in this day and age that it is something you should "get used to" or "learn to deal with"!!?? I TOTALLY DISAGREE! You have every right to upset and to pursue the issue with WHOMEVER you feel necessary. Sorry that you came here for friends to support you and some of them felt it necessary to condemn you.................P

 

[happygirl]

I'm sorry that happend to you I would have been scared to death, but I guess if the store didn't feel the need to call the cops I Guess they know best, maybe they knew calling the cops would have made the issues worse

 

[jadedbeauty14304]

I would have been livid. I am from the Falls, (howdy neighbor) and shop in Cheektovegas a lot, and will be keeping my eyes open for this type of stuff. It would have scared the crap out of me too.

People who have never been in the situation have no idea what kind of fear these things can cause. I used to manage a small 24 hour restaurant in rural North Carolina. It was the only 24 hour place in the area, so it was very popular late at night. I remember working one night when I had some staff call in sick, and at about 2 in the morning, there was a situation where a man tried to rob us by shouting obscenities. Our company policy was to give robbers what they want and call police as soon as it is safe. Well, one member of my staff went against policy and threw a cast iron frying pan at the man, which just caused more havoc. A man ended up getting stabbed, and as the manager I was powerless to do anything. Trying to keep people safe in this situation is hard. The guy never got caught, but the company let me get a panic button installed. I left the industry shortly after that incident.

I am a strong independent woman who can take care of herself, not needing a man for anything. And I went home and cried my eyes out. It is a traumatic experience.

Be strong, and make sure to keep the lines of communication open with your son. No matter how physically big he is, he is 12 years old, and if he has issues with anxiety or sleep for more than a week or two, I would make an appointment with a counselor for a talk.

 

[nikandboys]

OP and everyone else...I understand that everyone becomes desensitized to certain things, but please remaine cautious and vigilant. I work in a prison and am an AODA(alcohol and other drug addictions) couselor to convicted male felons. Many mentally ill persons will try to self medicate with illicit substances. As these are not perscribed, they cannot guarentee the amount taken. Please call the police, the one time you call could assist them in getting the help they desperately need and you can prevent someone from becoming the unfortunate victim. hey may not hurt you, but you don't know where they go when they are done at your location. I speak from having 10 years of dealing with these guys when they are finally sober and/or properly medicated. They need to address the harms they have caused. OP, you were very fortunate and I would have been just as scared if I was out with my son in the same situation. Take care! Your son may need to talk to someone, being sworn at and having the doors blocked to prevent you from leaving is very scary (not to mention could be a felony).
Nicole

 

[eliza61]

Your not from NY are ya? Only kidding-stuff like that happens frequently in NY and the ER where I work in NJ.
Sorry you and your son got a taste of it. And sorry that its no big deal for us in this area. What has the world come to?

Sorry Robin,
Not buying that. I am from NY. Harlem to be percise and no way, no how am I ever "getting over" some one threatening my children and you better believe if I'm in Macys, bloomies or any where else and some nutcase starts to loose it, I will be making a "HUGE DEAL" out of it.

 

[OceanAnnie]

Unlike you, I didn't get the drama vibe. I got my-personal-safety-is-being-threatened vibe.

I used to work at 7-11 when I first started college right out of high school. Company protocol did not allow us to basically protect ourselves in case of a robbery. I don't know how it is for the company now, but in this day and age with so many cases of workplace violence I wouldn't be so complacent.

It's dangerous to not go with your instincts and be so complacent. There have been too much violence in the world.

OP, maybe you can change how they handle those kinds of situations. Maybe not. Next time call 9 1 1 yourself. I have done this because like I said I am not complacent and I don't put too much credence in others. You just never know these days.

I can recollect many, many incidences of mentally ill people assaulting or even murdering people in Hawaii. One incident was at a Burger King. An innocent customer was bludgeoned to death with a hammer. Just recently a paranoid schizophrenic man killed a taxi driver and a couple taking pictures on top of Tantalus. Yup, you just never know when people will snap.



Ditto. Never compromise your safety.

ITA! I would've been scared, mad, and frustrated! The, "he's done that before", statement doesn't hold water. What if he was having a bad day? That's all it takes for someone unstable to trip from words to action.

When they call you back, give them heck!

 

[PiratesRock]

Just a thought... Could it be these employees didn't call the police only because they've been told not to by their management? due to "policy"? They might be grateful for customers who are proactive as they feel they can't be. Most shoe stores where I live have young, starter-job employees who just have to follow the rules set up by others. Might be the reason for the disappearing salesmen and the "just pretend he's not there" attitude of the sales-girl.
oh, and hope you have your cell phone on you all the time now. Not being able to call for help yourself definately made a bad situation worse. Personally, I have a handbag with little pockets where my cell phone and my taser (shhh, don't tell!) are easily accessible to me.

Your kids will learn a lot from how you handle this situation. More than you could ever teach them. You never know, this could prepare them to deal with a bigger issue in the future. Hope it's a one time thing, but you can use it as a teaching tool.