My In-laws are worse than your In-laws!

[dngnb8]

I have yet to see anyone's Out Laws say they should have not treated their cancer

How many Out Laws say

You should have died instead of treating your illness

 

[TaraPA]

But what could we do? We couldn't let him end up on the street.

You are a better person than I. There is absolutely no reason I would EVER let my MIL stay with us. Ever. I honesty would let her rot in the street before taking her in. That end would suit her perfectly for all the evilness & manipulation she has done to my family.

 

[hereyago]

You need to put her in a home.

Why do you say that? because it would be easier? because if it happened to you that is what you would do? and nursing homes I don't trust, we have all ready had 1 incident when she was in a rehab/nursing home they discharged her with a uti-and those are actually dangerous to older people. she was confused and then she fell the same day she was discharged ,i'm talking as soon as we came home. ambulance had to take her to the hospital and she had to go to another rehab after that.

Putting her in a home wouldn't change how she is. This isn't a case of a dementia/alzheimers' person who was sweet before then changed, she has always been the way she is, even before I was born, even before she met my DF, according to my aunt and her friends from years ago. And honestly, I don't have it in me to discard her like that. Have you ever been to a nursing home and seen the patients who's relatives don't have anything to do with them for whatever reason?

There is no one else, my aunt lives in Florida, everyone else has passed on,moved away or not have anything to do with her. I am only child and thank God for that-because I would have had to take care of myself and a sibling.

 

[jandel]

That is classic. I might have to steal this and get me a new ring tone

Reminds me of when DH used the Sanford and Son theme for his parents ringtone. Of course he used The Munsters for one sister and The Beverly hillbillies for another

 

[leighe]

Why not?

Well, to be honest, if it were me, I would. But DH can't do that. I guess no matter what he is his father. I hate, hate, hate him being here. But I make the best of it because the last thing DH needs is me adding to his stress about the whole situation.

 

[powellrj]

My in-laws and I have gotten along great for the last 3 years, it could be because they have both died and I stopped speaking to my DBIL at the funeral of my DFIL. Much less stress in my life.

 

[momof1princess]

Well, to be honest, if it were me, I would. But DH can't do that. I guess no matter what he is his father. I hate, hate, hate him being here. But I make the best of it because the last thing DH needs is me adding to his stress about the whole situation.

 

[Jennasis]

Dh and I have had this talk. His mom is blowing through her money like it's water. There is no way that nut-bag is moving in with us when she loses everything (and she will). DH hopes she will be made a ward of the state or something.

 

[JoiseyMom]

My FIL had to move in with us because he has nothing and did absolutely nothing to prepare for old age/retirement. He is the king of the entitlement mentality and just seems to have assumed that someone will always take care of him (and I guess he was right). He also has alcohol-induced dementia, so he can't be left alone for very long. He's like a giant 3 year old in some ways.

The worst part is that he was a HORRIBLE father to DH (never paid child support, went to prision, was emotionally abusive) so it's pretty stressful having him here in the house because there is so much underlying resentment of him by both DH and me. But what could we do? We couldn't let him end up on the street.

Yes you could. THere are programs for him. I think you guys are great for doing this, but if it is effecting your lives and in a bad way, then it really isn't your problem. He made his bed, let him lie in it.

 

[ready123go]

My in-laws and I have gotten along great for the last 3 years, it could be because they have both died and I stopped speaking to my DBIL at the funeral of my DFIL. Much less stress in my life.

I hear ya. We stopped speaking to DH's mother, father, brother and sister-in-law at a wedding about three years ago. Best decision we ever made. Around that same time, I asked my older brother and his wife to stop calling.

I actually look forward to holidays now!

 

[SplashMtnCrew]

Not my "parents-in-law" but in regards to my sister-in-law (DH's sister) and my mother-in-law. I promise you this is a true story.

The worst thing ever done by anyone's in-laws....most people do not believe this could have happened:

My mother-in-law passed away almost 6 years ago. She had been in the hospital for 4 days after having a heart attack. My sister-in-law did not call my DH until after she died, was cremated and her ashes were put in a cookie jar. My sister-in-law, being the oldest, decided no services were necessary. For the record, we lived 3 hrs from my mother-in-law. Since then my DH has only spoken to his sister twice, the day she called and told him the news about his mother, and about 3 months after that when she called him. DH has never initiated contact with his sister since then, and he never intends to. Before this happened, DH and his sister talked pretty regular, sent gifts back and forth, etc. DH and his mother were not intensely close (DH wasn't a mamma's boy LOL) but they were close. I know for certain that my mother-in-law didn't say that is what she wanted....sister-in-law said she made the decision on her own.

Call me crazy, but to intentionally deny someone the right to pay their respects and tell their mother they loved them is inexcusable.
I know I have the worst in-laws...

 

[ebtbmom]

I guess my in-laws aren't too bad because they are not mean to us.

We are however being actively shunned by the entire family, parents, brothers, grandma, aunts and uncles. In 2007 DH decided that he was basically living lie because he no longer believed in the faith that he was raised in. He removed himself from their church, and in their beliefs when a member commits a sin or leaves the faith, they are to be shunned until they repent and return. Even if it is your own family member, you have to shun them. So this is what we are dealing with, and while they are not mean to us, we also cannot have any kind of relationship with them other than the occassional, "hey, how are you doing, everyone OK?" type of thing.

It blows my mind because not being raised in this faith, there is NO WAY that I can understand letting a church tell me that I could not have contact with my own son. I hate that DH has to deal with this, I do not practice the faith that I was raised in either, and my family has never treated any of us any differently.

 

[Principessa1284]

My MIL on our wedding night gave us an envelope with a letter in it telling us how important s*x(wasn't sure if I could put the actual word) was and a "how to" description. She isn't really evil or anything she is just not a nice person.

OMG I forgot about the book that MIL gave us the night before the wedding! I'll have to dig it up.. it's from around 1965 (no exageration) and it's an instruction manual on how "good christian newlyweds" should have sex. It's hysterical. I'm pretty sure most adults know how the mechanics work, virgin or not. It took everything inside of me after flipping through it to say, "Wait.. that goes WHERE?!" I hope you know that if you have sex for any reasons other than procreating, you're going to hell. Just a heads up.. the book told me so.

 

[budafam]

My in laws really aren't all that bad... it's just little things that drive me batty. Things my parents would never do. My FIL is not responsible at all. He's never been his whole life. Since I've been with DH, my FIL has lived in 7 different houses and he's about to lose his 2nd house (well actually his new gf is) due to no payments. He's harmelss but just a whiner and hard to listen to and take seriously.

My MIL (divorced from the FIL and remarried to a crazy farmer wannabe) is great but she likes to talk. Talk a LOT and not listen whatsoever. She's coming with us on our next trip to Disney and I am terrified of having to deal with this. She likes to just do whatever whenever and not follow plans (which drives me crazy). She is 100x worse when she gets alcohol in her system (which she likes to have a few cocktails every night so yeah... ugh ). I credit her weird behavior partly to her derranged husband. They both have great jobs at the post office. Together they make EXCELLENT money but her husband has a dream of running a farm. They have a 1/2 acre garden that they tend to when they get home & chickens. They've also started raising tilapia in the house (been doing this for over a year now and they have yet to harvest one). They also have rental properties and both of them are behind on payments big time. One owes them over $2500 and they continue to let them live there!!! Then they complain that they have no money and that they're a quarter million in debt. Well, duuuuuhhhh!!!

Worst of all is my BIL though. He is 3 years older than DH (31) and going out with a girl that is just using him for all he's got. She has 3 kids by 3 different guys and my BIL pays for everything. They're constantly fighting. She doesn't pay the bills when he gives her the money to do so. We borrowed him $500 to buy a tv and he said he could pay us within a month back. It's now been 4 months and he still owes us. They both smoke cigarettes & eat McDonalds almost every night. It's a shame to see him wasting his life away on her but he just doesn't seem to get it.

Ugh, k, I'm done ranting for now.

 

[OceanAnnie]

I hope the results are not cancer for your MIL.


I have forgiven my mom for alot of the stuff, not forgotten. And you know, some people like your MIL have stuff happen that gives them a wake up call, but sadly that isn't always the case.


It is what it is. You can tell someone you are"sorry" but if you keep doing the same thing over and over again, then you are not. I have resigned this is how it is, I will continue to "have her back" I promised my DF i would take care of her, and in the end I know I did a dang good job when most people even my relatives would have just left her, I have to pay my aunt to stay here with her if I go on vacation.

You said a whole lot right there. Truer words have not been uttered (or typed).

 

[Erin1700]

1.) DH for some reason invites DMIL to our DDs events, but she always makes excuses not to come or she says horrible things in front of DD. He asked if she wanted to come see DD in an American Girl fashion show, tickets were $30 and MIL said "that's ridiculous, I would rather us give DD $30 than sit at some stupid show" I will never invite her to anything. She didn't come to see DD in any swim meets and when she heard she won, she said "oh if I knew she was going to win I would have gone"
2) on the boardwalk at the beach the kids ask us if we can go in the candy store. She tells them she would buy them candy so we start walking and she goes into the dollar store and says they can only have candy from there.
3) the woman gambles so much they are going to name a casino after her.
4) my parents invited them to their big anniversary party. MIL was going around finding empty seats and drinking the glass of champagne that was at the empty places.
5) my kids hide their Halloween candy or Christmas stockings when the inlaws come over because they take their candy and make pigs of themselves.
6) I kid you not, if you eat Thanksgiving there, she cooks food and just puts the pot on the table!
7) everything she says starts with "Well, I....." her way or her thoughts are always right.
8) my DS fell outside and got all scraped up bleeding and she starts laughing "haha you fell"
9) this one really gets to me...we have major drama with my sil on my said of the family. So mil only met her a few times but we no longer speak to my brother or his wife. What my sil did is truly horrible. Whenever they come up in conversation my mil has to say "oh I think "sil" is such a nice person, she is so nice. I really like her!" my DH has told her numerous times never to comment on her and she doesn't listen!

 

[disneychic2]

I really am shocked at these stories, and so sad for everyone too. I have a wonderful MIL and I adored my DFIL who passed away 7 years ago. I've read every post and my heart really goes out to all of you who have suffered at the hands of your in-laws. And I'm especially sorry that any child has had to endure such favoritism, neglect and downright abuse from someone who should have been nothing but loving and kind to them. To those of you who are still dealing with this problem, I wish you well. I truly hope sharing has been a healing experience.

 

[Swank]

Why do you say that? because it would be easier? because if it happened to you that is what you would do? and nursing homes I don't trust, we have all ready had 1 incident when she was in a rehab/nursing home they discharged her with a uti-and those are actually dangerous to older people. she was confused and then she fell the same day she was discharged ,i'm talking as soon as we came home. ambulance had to take her to the hospital and she had to go to another rehab after that.

Putting her in a home wouldn't change how she is. This isn't a case of a dementia/alzheimers' person who was sweet before then changed, she has always been the way she is, even before I was born, even before she met my DF, according to my aunt and her friends from years ago. And honestly, I don't have it in me to discard her like that. Have you ever been to a nursing home and seen the patients who's relatives don't have anything to do with them for whatever reason?

There is no one else, my aunt lives in Florida, everyone else has passed on,moved away or not have anything to do with her. I am only child and thank God for that-because I would have had to take care of myself and a sibling.

You are a better person then me. I hope you are blessed with all the Karma that you have earned.

 

[ready123go]

OMG I forgot about the book that MIL gave us the night before the wedding! I'll have to dig it up.. it's from around 1965 (no exageration) and it's an instruction manual on how "good christian newlyweds" should have sex. It's hysterical. I'm pretty sure most adults know how the mechanics work, virgin or not. It took everything inside of me after flipping through it to say, "Wait.. that goes WHERE?!" I hope you know that if you have sex for any reasons other than procreating, you're going to hell. Just a heads up.. the book told me so.

I grew up in an ultra-religious household. So that one is funny. Just an FYI - we were not allowed to watch Disney because it was too immoral. Between my love of Disney and what your book says - I'm really gonna burn!!

 

[Pastamom]

My MIL lives in her own reality...

A few years back - DS#1 was getting a lot of sinus infections. He is allergic to cats but doesn't get the puffy eyes, etc. MIL had an old nasty cat that was peeing all over the house that she wouldn't put down. The house smelled - but that's a whole other post.... Well that cat finally died thankfully. During that time we tracked the sinus infections to times when we were at her house (she lives nearby) DH told her that we couldn't go to her house house until she removed the carpet and furniture because we could put our son's health at risk now that we knew the cause. We told her this in the summer and she did nothing. A week before Thanksgiving she called to invite us over for. DH reminded her that we couldn't come over. SIL found out we were not coming- MIL did not tell her why-and called to ream us out. DH explained what was going on and that we had told MIL in summer. After much going back and forth (in which no one asked MIL why she hadn't done anything) she finally got new carpet and furniture...

MIL invited everyone over to her house to celebrate her birthday when she knew we were out of town...SIL and called to complain that we didn't show up...

MIL needed a hip replacement for about a year. She finally fell and broke her nose. Tried to cover it up with make up thinking we wouldn't notice the 2 black eye and big nose.

When she finally had the surgery she told the nurse that she was diabetic (she's not) but controlled it with diet and exercise...She's 250 pounds and could barely walk the previous year. When we questioned her about the exercise she said she used to walk with FIL who has been dead 10 years. She actually would just watch him walk...She then got mad at the nurses who kept poking her to check her blood...

DH had ruptured his tendon in his thigh the weekend before she had surgery and had his own surgery 2 days after hers. She didn't believe he had a real surgery because he didn't stay over night like she did.

I could go on....