Are there any doors that you felt were closed to you when you started this journey that have opened as you have worked towards a healthier lifestyle? Are there opportunities that you had to give up early in this journey that you can take advantage of now? Are there any doors that still feel as if they are closed to you, but you hope will be open when you reach your goal?
This is one of those questions that I thought might be controversial, but I wanted to ask it anyway.
My answer - I don't know that there have been any doors that were closed to me (other than that one dress I really loved that they only seemed to have in a size 6), but I think I perceived doors being closed to me because of my weight. There have been times when I thought people didn't like me because of my weight, but really it was either just a personality clash (apparently not everyone loves my random sarcasm) or me pushing people away because I felt uncertain about myself. I feel like I belong in the category of "fat person" and automatically assign myself to "fat person" social groups and activities ... even though there's no reason to do that, and I can have the same friends and participate in many of the same activities as "skinny" people.
If I really think about it, there isn't anything that I can't do just because of my weight. I can still have ice cream and junk food ... just maybe not so often. I can still find clothing that I like in my size. I can still go out to restaurants, I just have to be aware of what and how much I'm eating. I don't think that there are doors that are closed to me, I just have to approach these doors and opportunities in a different way.
For me, it's about remembering that my weight doesn't define who I am and what opportunities are available to me.
First of all.... CANNOT WAIT to see this parade in September!! In fact, DD and I are SO excited about this and WOC that we are pretty much going to be planning our entire visit around making sure we see ALL the night shows.... which will be a challenge, considering we arrive the evening on a Sunday and flight out at midnight on Tuesday!
I haven't seen Paint the Night yet (except for extensive picture searching), but WOC is absolutely a must-see! It's my favorite Disney night show.
GREAT question...... not sure how to answer it though. I will just say that I FELT like I was capable of so much LESS when I was heavy...and so much of that had to do with my overwhelming lack of self confidence. I've always been shy and self-confidence in short supply..... but being nearly 100 pounds overweight definitely multiplied those feelings exponentially! I know that I haven't gotten any SMARTER or TALENTED since losing the weight, but I definitely have more confidence about the brains and talents I DO have! I am willing to put myself out there just a bit more... well, maybe more than a BIT! And if you don't like me or my ideas, I don't automatically assume it is because I am fat.
I love this answer.
Believing in yourself is a struggle for many people - and if you feel bad about how you look, that makes it worse. It's amazing that with losing the weight you were able to realize that there's no reason to hide how awesome you are!
PROGRESS REPORT FOR THIS WEEK..... 37.5% of goal.... not bad, not great. Wish it were a solid 50%, but at least it is progress in the right direction Just wish I wasn't losing the same pounds as in February.... that feels SUPER frustrating.............P
Progress is progress. Sometimes things go slow and you keep gaining and losing the same few pounds ... but it's better than gaining more and not losing it!
Hi all and Happy Monday! My goal for the week is to start taking baby steps in the direction of taking care of me first. To that end, I'm going to make a valiant effort to log on here every day and at least answer the QOTD. Not sure how I'll do at chatting but I'm not adding that pressure. Baby steps!
Don't worry about chatting so much - baby steps are the best way to start!
I'm still mostly hiding from the world but I feel the doors are unlocked. I'm just not ready to walk through.
This realization is amazing.
Sometimes the door isn't shut, but you don't feel comfortable walking through it. Knowing that it's a personal comfort issue is a great first step - now you just have to work on feeling good enough about yourself to know that you can walk through that door and do things that you didn't feel you could to when you were at your heaviest.
The door that feels the most solidly shut (other than clothing brands that only go up to 8) is eating whatever I want in public. That never bothered me before but now I'm hyper-conscious. I can be eating cucumbers and think that people will be laughing at me for the idea that I think I can diet. And of course there are the thoughts that come with eating treats in public (even well earned planned for treats). Intellectually I know that people are living their lives and aren't paying attention to what I choose to eat. I'm just not there emotionally.
This is a hard one. I definitely get this.
Sometimes when I go out to eat and I get a salad, my thought is basically "does everyone else here think I'm on a diet because I got a salad?" It happens to be that I love salad and I'd get it anyway, but when you're being careful about what you eat, it's easy to be self-conscious when eating in public. You just have to remind yourself that nobody else cares about what you're eating - and if they do, that's their problem, not yours! (It's definitely hard to get to that point, though)
That was part of my motivation for starting my journey this time. We are going to Hawaii this summer with my entire family and although I won't be anywhere close to my goal weight, I can be down to where I shouldn't be excluded from anything based on my weight (hopefully). It will also make the airplane seats more comfortable lol!
That's an awesome motivation - there will be so much fun stuff for you to do in Hawaii, and hopefully you'll be able to enjoy it all!
I posted last night that I had a roller-coaster weekend. We had a great day Saturday - DS had a soccer game which they won (they are in a challenging league for their age / ability and haven't won many games), we went to a trivia night fundraiser and our team came in 2nd place and then we headed to a friends house that was on our team. While we were there, my friend's sister came over and told them that one of their 15 year old nieces was killed in a car wreck that evening, so our evening ended with a tragedy. I'm so sad for my friend and her family. Just that evening we had been talking about how your life can change in an instant and her's did that night. Their family will never be the same again.
I'm so sorry to hear about your friend's niece. That's such a tough situation - it's never easy when someone is taken from us so suddenly, and especially when it's someone so young ...
I don't even see too much of a difference between the old me and this new me in the mirror and its FRIGHTENING. I only notice in pictures and then I see how much I've let myself go. I can still fit in regular woman sizes, but my body does not agree with my favorite brand at this size (Lilly Pulitzer). Just last weekend, I was trying on shirts. I used to be a solid medium and look good, but now the larges pull tight and the XLs look maternity mixed with NFL shoulders --- It's so sad to me because I love these clothes.
It's rough when your favorite brand doesn't fit the way it used to ... but that's definitely motivation to work hard so that you can fit into your favorite clothing!
Doors that I felt were shut... I'm hypersensitive to my age and how it relates to my career. I avoided management/leadership for about 15 years, and only started on this journey 3 years ago. So I feel behind and wonder if people look at me and think "at her age she should..." and whether o rnot certain opportunities have passed me by. I also doubt for myself that it's the best choice to be taking on such a highly stressful role at this time, when doing something that brings me joy is more of a driver than pushing forward thru all this stuff. I don't look or act 60, at least I didn't until the weight started piling on, then it seemed to catch up with me. As the weight has come off the years have too, so that's a good thing... now I just have to decide what I want to do/be when I grow up.
I definitely get this. Sometimes it's hard for others to accept that someone is not on the same journey, and people see it as weird when someone of a certain age isn't at a certain point in their career. But you need to be you and take your career journey, not someone else's - do what feels right for you!
All in all it was a pretty funky weekend... by last evening I was in a weird semi-depressed mood. I think it was a combination of things: I had purchased some Crystal Light so I'd drink more water - it worked, but I think there may have been something about it that didn't set well, it could have just been the caffeine as it was an iced tea blend. Then my SIL who has ALS seems to be deteriorating very quickly since she was forced to retire at the end of the year. She took a bad stumble last week and fell and broke her shoulder and her latest check up shows her lungs are much weaker, so she has to wear her C-PAT during the day not just at night. I brought my Sis some lunch Saturday but couldn't go in because I have a cold... just waving to SIL thru the open door, she looked so uncomfortable and so unhappy it was gutting. And I think I'm feeling guilty about not being more involved, so there's some work to be done there. Other than that I'm super stressed and feeling overwhelmed and under qualified at work (plus all the doubts mentioned above). I'm very grateful that my Texas trip is coming up the end of the week. I'll be out for two good long weeks to regroup and make some choices about how I want to move forward... and Texas is kind of my get-away-from-it-all dream, so it will be great to see if it is a viable option for me or not.
I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling ... but hopefully the trip to Texas will be a great way for you to get re-energized!
I realized I was gaining weight when I went to my OBGYN and had seen a number I wasn't comfortable with. Using that weight I saw my BMI had officially put me in the category of "overweight" -- I hadn't taken it seriously until I saw a picture of myself that got posted on Facebook... in a bathing suit. I was pretty horrified. I yoyo dieted this year and last but have made a commitment to eat cleaner and to just workout more! The door that was closed to me was body confidence... I'm slowly feeling better about my body. I never gave up wearing bathing suits completely - that door was never closed shut, but I definitely don't wear some of my favorites.
Body confidence is definitely something hard. But it seems like it's getting better for you, which is awesome, and hopefully as your weight goes down you'll be able to wear all of your favorite bathing suits!
I know this seems so trivial as others are battling much darker demons through their weight loss journey, but this is the heaviest I've ever been in my life. And I hate it. I grew up with my grandma (who orchestrated it all), mom and aunts obsessing over losing weight and slim fast shakes. The pressure to lose weight as a child eventually made one aunt bulimic. I'm so glad I haven't battled my weight this way and this is my one driving force in my weight loss journey - to never ever put myself in a place where my weight and losing weight takes over my life and those of others around me.
This is something that cannot be said enough.
Some people put so much pressure on losing weight - whether its pressure they're putting on themselves or on other people - and that can cause serious damage. It's important to remember that being healthy is more important than losing weight - and that includes mental health. If you're putting so much pressure on yourself to lose weight that it takes over your life and causes you a lot of unnecessary stress (or worse), that's a problem.
This weekend was ok. I stayed under my calories and got my steps Friday and Saturday. Yesterday was really tough. It was really cold so getting my steps were hard since our records is only open 12-5 on sunday. I took my kids to an Easter egg hunt and went to dinner with my dad and brothers. I don't get to see then often so we ended up going to Dave and busters after. I got home at about 8. I did eat some tagalongs but only 5 this time and stayed under my calories. I am off with my kids so I brought them to the rec with today. I feel really young. I am the you gest by like 20-30 years, other then my kids. My hope is to do this all week. And have a good number on the scale this week.
Yay for staying under your calorie goal despite the treats!
I'm starting a new running program today that should build me up over the next 7 weeks until my first real 5K. I would love to get under 40:00, but I don't see that happening. I need to just be happy to run it for this first one.
Yay for "officially" starting your 5K training. Don't worry too much about the time - just get to the distance, and you can work on the time from there.
Thought provoking question! After thinking about it for a few minutes I don't really think there were many doors closed to me. As bad as it sounds, I think it’s almost more accepted for a male to be overweight in society. While there are things I didn't do or won't do yet (taking my shirt off at the beach for example), I don't think I really missed out on anything because of my weight. I could say that maybe I didn't always dress like I would have liked because of limited availability, but hopefully that will change.
This is a really interesting view - I never really thought about the differences in perception of weight based on gender. I think it's great that you've never felt that you missed out on anything because of your weight ... and I love that you're optimistic about the changes in your wardrobe that will happen as you continue to lose weight.
I'll be working at exercise routine again. I just can't stay consistent. I know that is why the scale is up down. Well other than my usual water retention problems.
