Introverted people what do you do at a party

[low-key]

sometimes I just freeze up at partys, So I kind of look like im looking around and sneak out and go home

 

[OhMari]

We moved to a new house in a subdivision, and I hardly ever see anyone outside. There are no sidewalks, so you have to walk in the road. I will see a few people cutting lawn, or ride a bike here or there, but Whem I walk the dog, I am amazed how quiet the neighborhood is. There are at least 45 homes. I truly thought, retiree's lived in the homes and they were all snowbirds living in Florida, but on garbage day, everyone's bin is out. I think we moved to an introvert neighborhood. We have been here 5 months, and I can tell you one neighbors name, because I know her from the YMCA, but that is it. 5 more houses are being built, and the carpenters, plumbers probably know me more now since they at least chat with us when we walk by.

It is hard being an introvert. I agree it is easy to talk and post here. I am dreading the 4th of July. We have to go to a parade and a picnic at my dh small town. It is a beer fest where everyone knows everyone, and if you are not part of a cliques, you get stared at and you can clearly see them talking about you. If this parade would be in a town where I didn't know anyone, I wouldn't have a problem at all being there.

 

[Kimberlyann11]

I am a total introvert in party situations. I used to have the opinion that people love to talk about themselves so I would ask questions about what they do for a living, do they like it, etc. But then I was informed that there were certain cultures where it was considered very rude to ask questions like that. So now I try to stick to movies, tv shows, other entertainment options. Most people like movies but you occasionally have someone all high and mighty because they don't watch tv.

It's easier at school related functions. Since our kids are the same age, we can discuss college visits and plans for the future. People never tire of bragging about their kids (me included).

 

[pascalstongue]

I'm so glad I found this thread. I am also introverted but only in certain situations. I was a police officer for 13 years and was fine talking to people in that sort of situation, but stick me in a party where I don't know anyone and I feel completely sick. I don't understand why I have such a split personality.
We recently moved to a new area where we don't know anyone, this meant I left my job and I am currently a SAHM. I promised myself before we moved that I would make a real effort to get to know people and talk to the other parents at the school gate etc. I have failed miserably and am starting to get lonely now.
My friends and family are a two hour drive away, so I still see them fairly regularly. I just wish I could make some local friends here but I just can't bring myself to do it.

 

[Goofy_Disney_Dad]

I'm so glad I found this thread. I am also introverted but only in certain situations. I was a police officer for 13 years and was fine talking to people in that sort of situation, but stick me in a party where I don't know anyone and I feel completely sick. I don't understand why I have such a split personality.
We recently moved to a new area where we don't know anyone, this meant I left my job and I am currently a SAHM. I promised myself before we moved that I would make a real effort to get to know people and talk to the other parents at the school gate etc. I have failed miserably and am starting to get lonely now.
My friends and family are a two hour drive away, so I still see them fairly regularly. I just wish I could make some local friends here but I just can't bring myself to do it.

I never thought I'd see police officer and introvert in the same sentence. The officers I know are such type A personalities that it is very hard to imagine them being introverted. The fact that an officer has to take charge of situations to such a large degree makes it difficult to imagine them being anything else. I hope you are able to eventually be successful in your desire to get to know people. My wife and I are moving to a completely new location at the end of the year and we are also concerned about meeting new friends. It can certainly be difficult.

 

[threeboysmom]

At last I've found my people! I'm introverted and I feel I'm socially awkward. I have been accused of being "stuck-up" before because I don't have a lot to say.

Same here. Can't count the number of times I've been told people think I'm stuck up or that I'm a snob or the most hurtful of all.... that I'm cold. I understand I can come across as cold to some people because I don't initiate conversations with anyone or join in any group conversations, but really I'm far from "cold" on the inside.

 

[threeboysmom]

How did everyone do over the Fourth? We actually DID get a last minute invite to a cookout by a very casual acquaintance of my DH's.... and sure enough, I was feeling anxiety about going so we just stayed home instead. I'm glad my DH is so understanding, and it helps that it wasn't a close friend of his so he didn't care one way or the other if we went.

 

[goofy4tink]

My dh accepted an invitation for the 4th....just across the street. The odd thing? We don't particularly like the hostess!!! We never socialize with her. So, I figure that he thought it was better than just sitting at home, doing nothing. I was horrified.....no one I knew would be there. He's a typical extroverted type A person....go, go, go, always 'on'. Me? I'm happy sitting here, chatting on-line, or reading a book. Being with most people just drains me! But...surprisingly, I did find a very nice woman to sit and chat with. It was almost enjoyable!!!

My dd is the same as me....close to socially awkward. BUT....put her on a stage? She blossoms. I can get on a stage as well, but not as comfortable as she is. But, when she was in school, she used to get home and go to her room for an hour or so...just needed to be alone in order to recharge. I'm the same way....I need alone time.

Some of my worst experiences have been in large groups where I really don't know anyone very well. I know that when the DIS has had meets in my area, I've felt that I really should go, being a moderator and all. And there are a few people that I knew. But they seemed to hang with their particular group of friends..it was very hard to start a conversation with them. So, I found a couple that looked as uncomfortable as I was feeling!! That helped a lot...and it probably made their day better as well.

I know all about the ask others open ended questions....but here's the thing. I don't particularly care. I'm never going to see most of those people again. I have yet to figure out why I should make myself so uncomfortable in order to chat with strangers.

I'm so happy being on-line. I have made some incredibly good friends via the DIS. Friends that I have had for a very long time!! I now travel with some of them, to Disney. We sometimes see each other with no trip, if we're close enough. But, every day friends? Nope, not a lot. And sometimes I feel badly about that. But, it's an incredibly huge effort for those like me. And once you've started up a friendship, it's incredibly hard to keep it going...especially when common interests go away.

Like some of you, people are amazed when they find out how introverted and shy I am. But, I'm a different person with people I know vs a group of strangers!

 

[RDR_BU]

I don't really have any problems when it is a small group. I will get involved in the conversations. But if there is a large group, I usually prefer to sit back and listen. I do not feel like I have to be the center of attention. Large groups also tend to be more judgmental it seems.