I bf'd my first for 6 weeks, supplementing with formula and pumping, for medical reasons. I'm glad I did it, but I was a lot more relaxed when I stopped. I'm all for bfing, but if, after a certain amount of time, it's not working out, and making mommy miserable, I'm all for formula. My kids were formula fed, were healthy, and still are healthy. They're bright, talented, athletic - formula did them well.
Breastfeeding: Pro or Con? **Update Post #1**
- Thread starter Robinrs
- Start date
She should get a lactation coach from the hospital. I don't think she should go with someone who is only for breatfeeding but someone who will do all they can to help her discover if it is possible for her and her baby.
I met a good friend at lamaze. She bf, I formula fed. Her ds was so sick all of the time, with numerous ear infections. My dd never got sick, and she's always joke that my baby was the one who should've had all of the ear infections. Our kids are now in honors classes together. My sister bf'd her kids for a year. One has a serious speech disorder, and gets ST and PT weekly. Another has serious wheat, egg, peanut, and banana allergies, has low tone, and sees a PT weekly. My kids are SO much healthier than hers.
Yuck 
Shmily1
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Oct 23, 2007
I'm pro if the mom wants to do it. I did with my two kids and it was fine, although DD was a sleepy baby and I had the hardest time keeping her awake enough to actually eat (and that hasn't changed with her--she's still sleepy and now 19 years old!!). DD had DGS15 months ago and her friends were kind of pushing her to try it. She kind of wanted to, but kind of didn't. I bought her everything she needed in case she decided to do it and told her I would help her if she decided to do it but it wasn't something that she had to do and only she could decide if it was right for her. Her friends should not be giving her any grief about her choices and she had to decide and not feel guilty either way. When she had an emergency c-section, the little man was hungry and she wasn't awake enough to feed him so she decided on bottles. We gave her BF stuff to her friend who was expecting. DGS is doing great and hasn't been to the doctor very many times either--mostly just check ups and the new mom jitters (you know, he's sniffling. LOL!).
I didn't vote because I had 2 very different experiences. with my eldest, it was incredibly easy. I educated myself beforehand and even brought my bf'g books with me to the hospital, and had the nurses double check my son's latch every time for the first day or so to make sure it was right. Most of what I had read was that issues often tended to come from a poor latch, so I was vigilant about it. my milk came in quicker than they told me to expect it, my son did great, I had the normal uterine contraction and such with it at first, but I honestly never had pain. son gained weight, my supply could have fed several babies easily, all ws great. I bf my eldest for around 15 months till he ended it.
so the next time I was pg I knew things would be fine. even when I found out I was having twins I didn't worry. But things were very different from the start. I tried and tried and tried but no matter what I did, I just could not produce enough milk. Looking back at it all I think I know what I could have done differently/better, but at the time, looking thru the exhaustion and the emotions, I did my best. I consulted everyone, took smelly fenugreek, pumped on top of nursing, etc, to no avail. I finally had to give up when they were 6 months old and it was really sad for me, but it was the right thing to do, given the circumstances.
I wish your friend luck. I hope she has some good help from a lactation specialist and maybe someone from LLL.
so the next time I was pg I knew things would be fine. even when I found out I was having twins I didn't worry. But things were very different from the start. I tried and tried and tried but no matter what I did, I just could not produce enough milk. Looking back at it all I think I know what I could have done differently/better, but at the time, looking thru the exhaustion and the emotions, I did my best. I consulted everyone, took smelly fenugreek, pumped on top of nursing, etc, to no avail. I finally had to give up when they were 6 months old and it was really sad for me, but it was the right thing to do, given the circumstances.
I wish your friend luck. I hope she has some good help from a lactation specialist and maybe someone from LLL.
My experience also. I wanted to breastfeed but had a seizure with my first when she was being born & was on meds, so I couldn't breastfeed. I tried pumping, figuring I would start the actual breastfeeding when I was done with the meds, but I was not comfortable doing it & decided to go with the formula.
With my twins I made the conscious decision not to do it. I needed all the help I could get & that included others feeding the babies when possible.
I think breastfeeding is a great thing. I also believe everyone has to make their own decision & do what's best for them.
Sgt Mickey
<font color=red>I will always remember where I was
- Joined
- Feb 5, 2009
Breastfeeding has sooo many more pros then cons.
I breastfed 3 out of 4 of my kids. BUT I think we expect it to be such an easy thing and feel like a failure when it dosen't come so easily.
One thing I do wish is that I had a breastfeeding support group or something when I was going through it. Someone who is on your side becasue I am the only one in my entire extended family who breast fed and everyone thought I was a freak
I breastfed 3 out of 4 of my kids. BUT I think we expect it to be such an easy thing and feel like a failure when it dosen't come so easily.
One thing I do wish is that I had a breastfeeding support group or something when I was going through it. Someone who is on your side becasue I am the only one in my entire extended family who breast fed and everyone thought I was a freak
Strongly pro here.
I nursed both of my daugthers, and the benefits are numerous: It was essentially free, it was more convenient than bottle feeding, and it gave us both health benefits. I would've done it for any of one of those reasons -- to get all those benefits is wonderful.
However, I wouldn't say that it's an easy process to start. Look at it this way: You're physically exhausted from childbirth, you're not getting enough sleep . . . and at the same time you're learning a new skill. You have the impression that it should come automatically, but it's not that easy -- it is a whole new skill set. You have to focus on JUST NURSING and nothing else for a while. And then with a second baby, you think you won't have that same learning curve . . . but you do. Even though you, the mother, are experienced, the new baby has to learn. It's faster with the second baby, but still not automatic.
The nurses in the hospital were so helpful to me. I didn't know how to position the baby, but with their help we got off to a good start. Their tips made it so much easier.
And one last comment: My mother nursed me against her doctor's wishes (this was the 1960s) because she literally couldn't afford formula. She had a good experience with me, so she did the same for my brother -- although the doctor made a comment to her about obviously not caring to give her children the best. When my second brother came along premature, the doctor FORBID her to breastfeed, and she was so terrified of his tiny size that she obeyed. Now we're all in the 40-range, and that youngest brother has diabetes and life-threatening allergies. We're full siblings: We all shared the same genetics and the same diet and upbringing. My mother pushed me hard to nurse my kids (which wasn't really necessary), saying that she really believes he wouldn't have those issues if she'd treated him the way she treated us two older kids.
I nursed both of my daugthers, and the benefits are numerous: It was essentially free, it was more convenient than bottle feeding, and it gave us both health benefits. I would've done it for any of one of those reasons -- to get all those benefits is wonderful.
However, I wouldn't say that it's an easy process to start. Look at it this way: You're physically exhausted from childbirth, you're not getting enough sleep . . . and at the same time you're learning a new skill. You have the impression that it should come automatically, but it's not that easy -- it is a whole new skill set. You have to focus on JUST NURSING and nothing else for a while. And then with a second baby, you think you won't have that same learning curve . . . but you do. Even though you, the mother, are experienced, the new baby has to learn. It's faster with the second baby, but still not automatic.
The nurses in the hospital were so helpful to me. I didn't know how to position the baby, but with their help we got off to a good start. Their tips made it so much easier.
And one last comment: My mother nursed me against her doctor's wishes (this was the 1960s) because she literally couldn't afford formula. She had a good experience with me, so she did the same for my brother -- although the doctor made a comment to her about obviously not caring to give her children the best. When my second brother came along premature, the doctor FORBID her to breastfeed, and she was so terrified of his tiny size that she obeyed. Now we're all in the 40-range, and that youngest brother has diabetes and life-threatening allergies. We're full siblings: We all shared the same genetics and the same diet and upbringing. My mother pushed me hard to nurse my kids (which wasn't really necessary), saying that she really believes he wouldn't have those issues if she'd treated him the way she treated us two older kids.
LuvOrlando
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Jun 8, 2006
I had a lot of trouble with the whole experience. I knew the benefits but my body simply would not co-operate, then there was the fact my DD was a preemie and the Dr told me I couldn't breast feed because I needed to measure my DD's intake carefully . What I had to do for both babies was buy a breast pump and evenly distribute my own milk between the bottles for the day. I did this every 2 hours for 3-6 months, as long as my antibodies were supposedly present in the milk. I stopped after that though because it was terrible to have to put my babies down and ignore them so i could pump.
The la leche people were a nightmare, they made me fell like I was such a failure and that I was just doing something wrong. I wish I had never gone near them and won't let them anywhere near my DD. The last thing a new mother at risk of Postpartum Depression needs is to be made to feel like a failure
In general I support breast feeding but people really need to be more responsible when dealing with this issue because sometimes our bodies just don't work right. It happens all the time with all sorts of issues, why on earth would people insist breastfeeding is any different?
Breast milk is fine but you know what a baby needs more than breast milk? An ok Mom.
There was no option up there for me so i didn't vote. My option would be, "It's worth trying but don't beat yourself up about it if it doesn't work out and don't let anyone make you feel bad about it either."
The la leche people were a nightmare, they made me fell like I was such a failure and that I was just doing something wrong. I wish I had never gone near them and won't let them anywhere near my DD. The last thing a new mother at risk of Postpartum Depression needs is to be made to feel like a failure
In general I support breast feeding but people really need to be more responsible when dealing with this issue because sometimes our bodies just don't work right. It happens all the time with all sorts of issues, why on earth would people insist breastfeeding is any different?
Breast milk is fine but you know what a baby needs more than breast milk? An ok Mom.
There was no option up there for me so i didn't vote. My option would be, "It's worth trying but don't beat yourself up about it if it doesn't work out and don't let anyone make you feel bad about it either."
I didn't even try to nurse my first three for fear of failure, my 4th I gave it a shot. I put no pressure on myself setting NO long term goals just "one more day" I told very few people I was breastfeeding until I knew "it was working" which was at about 8 wks... it came very easily to me. If I had more children. I'd breastfeed them. Its SOOOOO much cheaper, no bottles to clean, I did nurse in public when needed and I never had anyone say anything to me. I dont even know if people noticed. I was not a good pumper at ALL! Everytime I tried I'd get a plugged duct *OUCH!!!!* so it just was NOT worth it for me!
ETA as for weight issues, I was wearing my normal clothes home from the hospital in all 4 cases
I am VERY lucky! I did gain weight back this time around during easter when Anthony was born...I could not get enough smidigens to save my life.. I am still paying for it 12 pounds laterr that I can NOT get off 
ETA as for weight issues, I was wearing my normal clothes home from the hospital in all 4 cases
I am VERY lucky! I did gain weight back this time around during easter when Anthony was born...I could not get enough smidigens to save my life.. I am still paying for it 12 pounds laterr that I can NOT get off 
Christine
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Aug 31, 1999
I am pro breastfeeding even though I couldn't do it myself. I mean, really, who could be "against" it?
Having said that, I had all sorts of trouble. I had lactation specialists trying to help and it just wouldn't work. I have very dry, sensitive skin also and that WAS not helping matters whatsoever. It was one of the worse experiences I had as a new mother. The worst part was the guilt that went with "failing". Part of that guilt was hormone induced, I'm sure, but it was a horrible feeling and one I can clearly remember 16 years later.
Having said that, I had all sorts of trouble. I had lactation specialists trying to help and it just wouldn't work. I have very dry, sensitive skin also and that WAS not helping matters whatsoever. It was one of the worse experiences I had as a new mother. The worst part was the guilt that went with "failing". Part of that guilt was hormone induced, I'm sure, but it was a horrible feeling and one I can clearly remember 16 years later.
A little off topic: If you need a breast pump, check into whether your insurance will pay for it. My insurance bought me a great hospital-grade breast pump, which was vastly superior to the small ones sold at the stores -- and I paid nothing.
I had intended to pump when I went back to work, but that didn't work out: In the first week back, the electricity went off one day and another day a male co-worker walked in on me in the only place I had to pump.
So I gave up the pumping idea and JUST nursed while I was at home. That part-time schedule turned out to be so easy that we kept it up 'til she was almost two. We tend to think that nursing is an all-or-none proposition, but it isn't. If you JUST nurse in the evenings, after a couple days, your body will adjust and will make milk at just those times.
MichelleVW
<font color=green>I call them "the people that liv
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2005
I agree, I voted that I was con, but that was for me personally, not as a whole. I think if I had a baby now (kill me if I did
) I would possibly try, but as a 23 year old it did not appeal to me at all. I do agree that the guilt part is the worst for some mothers. I work in a daycare and we have one baby that hates to drink her breastmilk bottles but loves the formula ones and I know it makes her mom feel bad. I think my biggest peeve about breastfeeding is the guilt that is involved for mothers that have a hard time with it.
Christine
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Aug 31, 1999
It is bad. Basically, I'm not an easily guilted person. My decisions, good or bad, don't come with too much guilt because I feel pretty solid when I choose to do or not to do something. Even when I fail. I mean I know people who get guilty over the the color of the sky on some days, but not me. But that breastfeeding failure just did a number on me. That's why I think some of it is hormonal because it was so out of character. Either that, or the breastfeeding literature just got me. I do know someone who was wracked with guilt because they had a C-section and felt that they had failed, so it's probably new-mom hormones.
cabanafrau
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- May 10, 2006
I think breastfeeding is the healthiest option & I think it would be best all around if babies were breastfed.
That being said, if it just doesn't fit for the mom, that's her business. Only she can decide.
FWIW I breastfed both of mine after incredibly difficult starts for different reasons. I had serious doubts whether it was going to work w/ DD 2 & I NEVER want to relive those first 3 weeks of her life. I'm grateful it worked out & would urge you to have your friend stick w/ it. I understand it's hard. I think it was very much worth it in the end.
That being said, if it just doesn't fit for the mom, that's her business. Only she can decide.
FWIW I breastfed both of mine after incredibly difficult starts for different reasons. I had serious doubts whether it was going to work w/ DD 2 & I NEVER want to relive those first 3 weeks of her life. I'm grateful it worked out & would urge you to have your friend stick w/ it. I understand it's hard. I think it was very much worth it in the end.
canadianjovigirl
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- May 18, 2009
I nursed both my girls and both were different experiences. My oldest was not a good nurser and i worked with a breastfeeding consultant and still had difficulty and it was a tough schedule to pump every 3 hours as well as nurse her and then bottle feed.....i did tough it out for 4 months and then switched to fomula.
My second daughter was a preemie and in the NICU, but nursed well right from the start, much to the surprise of all the drs. so they had me stay at the hospital until she was released to keep nursing her as they felt that it was most beneficial to her. That was very difficult as i had a child at home but i did do it and continued to nurse her until i returned to work when she was 4 months old. I kept nursing her when home and she was fomula fed during the day as i couldnt invision pumping once again.
My second daughter was a preemie and in the NICU, but nursed well right from the start, much to the surprise of all the drs. so they had me stay at the hospital until she was released to keep nursing her as they felt that it was most beneficial to her. That was very difficult as i had a child at home but i did do it and continued to nurse her until i returned to work when she was 4 months old. I kept nursing her when home and she was fomula fed during the day as i couldnt invision pumping once again.
MichelleVW
<font color=green>I call them "the people that liv
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2005
I know you didn't mean it, but the bolded statement above is where the guilt comes in for people. When you tell someone, "it was really hard, but I toughed it out and it was great" they hear, "I did it, so why can't you?"
jodifla
WDW lover since 1972
- Joined
- Jan 19, 2002
Can someone really be "con" breastfeeding?
I am "con" when it comes to the loads of guilt piled on moms who don't breastfeed. I had so many issues with it, even with lactation consultants, and it burned me to no end that some friends thought I just wasn't trying hard enough. In fact, I was starving my kid!
Breastfeeding RUINED my first weeks with my son. It was a total nightmare for both of us. Happiest day was when I gave it up! I pumped for a few months, then switched to formula.
I am "con" when it comes to the loads of guilt piled on moms who don't breastfeed. I had so many issues with it, even with lactation consultants, and it burned me to no end that some friends thought I just wasn't trying hard enough. In fact, I was starving my kid!
Breastfeeding RUINED my first weeks with my son. It was a total nightmare for both of us. Happiest day was when I gave it up! I pumped for a few months, then switched to formula.
Mrs. Charming
I'm not your entertainment, get a life.
- Joined
- Jul 8, 2009
DD3 wanted very little to do with the breast. I tortured myself by pumping and trying to BF for 3.5 months-- omg it was awful. I saw multiple lactation consultants, nothing helped. She got formula from then on. I hate to say this but I definitely found formula more convenient. She's bright, happy, healthy, and on the verge of reading.
DS took to the breast immediately, loves it, and it doesn't hurt. No lactation consultants involved. I'm really shocked that it's gone so well for almost 2 months! I chalk it up to him being a breast-lovin' male, lol. I'm NAK at the moment!
My thought is that a happy mom who isn't frazzled, in pain, or beating herself up over how she feeds her baby is a good mom
DS took to the breast immediately, loves it, and it doesn't hurt. No lactation consultants involved. I'm really shocked that it's gone so well for almost 2 months! I chalk it up to him being a breast-lovin' male, lol. I'm NAK at the moment!
My thought is that a happy mom who isn't frazzled, in pain, or beating herself up over how she feeds her baby is a good mom
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