It was mid-afternoon by now and we were all pretty hungry. Luckily our planned lunch destination was just up the road. Soon after we left the bluffs, we saw the hill emerge from the horizon. Coconuts Bar & Grill was where we were headed, where any respectable gringo on the east side should stop there for a cold one and some Mexican eating.
Coconuts, known for its party atmosphere and strong drinks is perched atop a cliff near the intersection of Transversal Rd and the coastal road. The highest elevation on the island, it sits at about 45 feet above sea level. We had been warned on Cruise Critic that this restaurant can get a bit raunchy and R-rated at times. Ill admit its reputation gave me pause when I read the caution of nudity. I figured, however that the joint wouldnt really be hopping with girls dropping their tops for shots at 2 in the afternoon. Thankfully, I was right.
The approach:
As we arrived the clouds parted revealing blue skies and the sun emerged and shone brightly above us. To get up to the top of the hill where the restaurant is, you have to climb a bunch of old stone stairs with rope handrails. The stairs are uneven and were slippery from the rain, making this even more of an adventure.
Halfway there
The light at the end if the tunnel:
If a restaurant has this sign, I know it is the place for me!
As we emerged from the foliage we were greeted and promptly sat at a table overlooking the gorgeous craggy plunge to the crashing waves below. I realized right away we had been given a tip to ask for a seat with a view, Im so glad it worked out that way since we forgot to do so.
As we settled and took in the atmosphere, there was certainly nothing to be concerned about here. There was a small scattering of folks at the bar and one or two tables occupied, one of which was other cruisers from the Magic (their
Castaway Club lanyards and KTTW cards inside gave them away). Certainly no raucous behavior was imminent!
The restaurant itself was pretty much a dive, not that I expected otherwise. The tables and chairs were the plastic patio variety; the uncovered ones arranged on the sand overlooking the cliff had umbrellas for cover. Toward one side was a hammock or two, a parrot and a dog, and the American restrooms. I had read there was a gator hanging out somewhere but we never ran into him!
While we waited for our server, we got some pictures of the locale.
Its a longer way down than it looks. I advise not leaning over that rope too far
Because this is what is on the way down!
Our waiter arrived with the menus, hand written on wooden paddles.
Sadly, we were a day too soon!
For drinks we ordered a Margarita (Ron) and a Sex at Coconuts (Sex on the Beach) for me. I also ordered iced tea and the kids got sodas. For food I ordered the jalapeno poppers (living on the wild side, I was!) and Ron got a grilled fish burger. The kids chose nachos and a hamburger
Our drinks arrived shortly and they were huge, as we had been warned. One sip revealed they were EXTREMELY strong (as we had also been warned)...but boy were they good! My iced tea was once again that weird fruity-lime concoction but the more I drank my very alcoholic beverage, the less I cared. We were also brought homemade chips and salsa. Two little cups of Salsa. One was HOT and one was REALLY FREAKIN HOT. Wow. What little of it I could stand to have in my mouth tasted fantastic, though, as did the chips alone.
I have no doubt if we had the misfortune to have been pulled over that day, we would have blown the breathalyzer away (assuming they have 'em) with our alcohol fume/fire hot dragon breath. We were drunk as skunks in no time. Did I mention the drinks were strong!?!?!?
Geez, I'm already shooting off-center...
As we waited for our food order we checked out the place and met some of the indigenous critters! (of which the creepy mannequin -ahem...we'll just call her that, OK- is included!!!)
Hey! Wait a minute! Ive seen this same sign in Key West
Ive had to crop this one. Some of the surrounding memorabilia on the wall is iffy to post here. I didnt want to deprive you of the Big Angels, though!
Our food was a bit slow in arriving, which was actually a good thing since it gave us more time to slowly consume our drinks. My poppers were good enough, they werent homemade or anything just the standard frozen variety (and that was probably a good thing!). Savannah did not care for her nachos since they were more authentic with beans and peppers, etc. Rons opinion on his fish as best as I can recall is that it was just OK.
After we finished eating we enjoyed the kooky ambiance of this place a bit before deciding to head on down the road. Our bill was reasonable for a tourist trap- around $60.00 USD. Of course my poppers were on special.
Some more of the locals:
The view looking south along the east coast (the reverse of the view in the first picture in this post)
**continued in next post!**