Adoption and cruising ?

[2BoysMom]

Hello Friends-
I realize this is an unusual question and may be too specific to our life circumstances to have an answer from the DCL crowd. But I thought I would put it out there anyway, just in case.

We are adopting a little girl from China this summer. She will be 5, her twin brothers at home are 6. The first few months will be a time of great language and skills development and bonding activities for my daughter.
* Has anyone ever gone on a cruise with a newly adopted child?
* If you have, or know someone who has, how did the child do?
* How soon was the cruise in relation to the child being home?
* If it was an international adoption, how long did it take you to get the proper paperwork (English birth certificate/US passport) to be able to go on the cruise?

We are going on a birthday cruise May 7, 2011 for sure. Our daughter will have been home for (approx.) 9-10 months at that point. My questions relate more to a December cruise that I am considering. If she comes home in July, she will only have been with us for 4.5 months. That's the one that I am thinking about the most.

[I may have come up with a question that stumps our DCL experts!!! Let's see....]

 

[dismom73]

There was a family on our last cruise that had adopted shortly before the cruise (less than a year I think). Her screen name is kpflillirpf and her name is Kristi, she is very nice and everytime I saw her little girls (they had a 7 year old that had been adopted too) they were all smiles. PM her and see what she has to say.

 

[sabrecmc]

Congrats on your daughter! My daughter was also born in China. I think you really won't know for sure how your daughter is doing with her attachment and bonding until you are home. You may also have language issues or sensory issues to deal with. Chances are, everything will go totally smoothly and you can enjoy a December cruise with no problem. I would make the reservation and then see how your daughter is doing after she is home for a bit and then decide. If she is having adjustment issues, you could always keep her with you while on the cruise and not use the clubs.

My daughter was 10 months at Forever Family Day, so it was a different situation, but I can honestly say that I would have had no problem taking her on a vacation after 5 or so months home. I would not have left her in the kids' club though. Bonding is such a process, I just wouldn't have done it. It may be different with an older child that wants to be with siblings, however, and can understand you when you say "Mommy will be back after lunch and we'll go swimming." I think you just have to play it by ear and see how things are going.

As to paperwork, the CofC came within about a month of arriving home and I got her SS card after that, which came about 2 weeks after I applied. I did the passport shortly thereafter and it took the standard processing time for new passports. It was all done within the first 6 months of being home. This was 2006-early 2007 in Texas and arriving through LAX customs and immigration. I've heard different experiences from others in different locations. If you are cutting it close with the passport, I'd pay for the expedited service.

ETA: If you notice on recent cruise brochures and on the DCL website, it mentions something about internationally adopted children. When I called DCL, the rep said that in addition to your child's passport, to bring a copy of the adoption certificate. I have done so, but never needed it for anything. She said they were having parents try to use the birth certificate obtained from the state, recognizing the foreign birth, as evidence of citizenship. At least in my state, it clearly says on there that it can't be used for citizenship purposes. So, just keep in mind that if you get a state issued birth certificate, which you should, you can't use that to cruise and need to get a passport for your daughter.

 

[dylan'smom]

Just jumping in here to say I LOVE this board!! No question is too obscure or 'too specific to our life circumstances to have an answer from the DCL crowd' and everyone is so helpful!

 

[kcashner]

I've written to you privately about our family situation. My one suggestion to everyone on the boards is that if you hit a paperwork snag with INS or any other federal agency, call your senator's office (sooner rather than later). One phone call from them can unsnag the impossible messes.

 

[bgartz]

This is a really great question, as we dealt with the same questions and concerns. We brought our son home from Ethiopia in Feb 2009. We are going to cruise at the end of October this year. Each situation is different, but you should be able to travel once you get home with some of the initial INS paperwork. China is different than Ethiopia, so in our case he could travel with us using his green card and Ethiopian passport.

But we did not want to take him on a boat so soon, so we waited till this fall, and have all the paperwork finished. In our case it took almost a year to have a U.S. birth certificate. Just now waiting for the passport to be mailed back to us.

Check with your adoption agency on what you would need to have in your possession to leave the country with your child.


Brad

 

[2BoysMom]

Dang it! I was trying to pull a stumper and I STILL got great answers from the DCL crowd!! .....just kidding...

Thanks for all of the terrific advice! The people on these boards are just wonderful.

What it really comes down to I believe, is to
1) start on her paperwork as soon as possible once we are home and
2) see how she is doing with bonding and any fear-based issues as she comes into our "highly stimulating" American world.

The December cruise may just be too soon for us (although for some reason I am really drawn to it). As a responsible adult, I try to do what is best for my children, but I did put that question out there because I love all of the advice and suggestions shared on this board. I also love, that even though I have cruised before.... I am ALWAYS learning something new, and I was hoping to see if I could learn something on this topic as well.

Many blessings to all of you!

 

[2BoysMom]

As to paperwork, the CofC came within about a month of arriving home and I got her SS card after that, which came about 2 weeks after I applied. I did the passport shortly thereafter and it took the standard processing time for new passports. It was all done within the first 6 months of being home. This was 2006-early 2007 in Texas and arriving through LAX customs and immigration. I've heard different experiences from others in different locations. If you are cutting it close with the passport, I'd pay for the expedited service. This is good to know. I've read this elsewhere, but once you go through the IA process and the gobs and gobs of paperwork involved..... some concepts fall through the cracks. This was a good reminder, thank you.

ETA: If you notice on recent cruise brochures and on the DCL website, it mentions something about internationally adopted children. When I called DCL, the rep said that in addition to your child's passport, to bring a copy of the adoption certificate. I have done so, but never needed it for anything. She said they were having parents try to use the birth certificate obtained from the state, recognizing the foreign birth, as evidence of citizenship. At least in my state, it clearly says on there that it can't be used for citizenship purposes. So, just keep in mind that if you get a state issued birth certificate, which you should, you can't use that to cruise and need to get a passport for your daughter. This I have not seen on the DCL site. Thanks for bringing it to my attention. I will go look now.

OK!

 

[snusnu]

As a adoptive mother myself, I applaud your decision to add to your family by adoption. I actually think that a cruise soon after bringing your daughter home would be an excellent way for your whole family to spend dedicated time together in a fun and enriching environment. You'll bond as a unit as well as bonding individually since the kids won't be at school and no one will have to leave for work. Of course, if your new daughter seems overwhelmed by crowds and noise at first, a cruise might not be the best idea, but if she's adjusting well, it could be just the thing.

It can take quite a while to get the modified birth certificate and SSN, but apply for the SSN the minute your adoption is finalized and you might have them in time.

Like you, I'me deeply grateful for the wealth of experience on this board. Another cruiser asked about an issue that we were wondering about: our daughter looks nothing like us. Apparently, this hasn't been a problem for anyone, but we'll bring our court order just in case, and, as Viv will have just turned 3 when we cruise next year, I'll be in her passport picture with her, so that will help.

And many congratulations, again!

 

[2BoysMom]

As a adoptive mother myself, I applaud your decision to add to your family by adoption. I actually think that a cruise soon after bringing your daughter home would be an excellent way for your whole family to spend dedicated time together in a fun and enriching environment. You'll bond as a unit as well as bonding individually since the kids won't be at school and no one will have to leave for work. Of course, if your new daughter seems overwhelmed by crowds and noise at first, a cruise might not be the best idea, but if she's adjusting well, it could be just the thing.

Thanks for this. One of the reasons that I am actually considering the shorter Dec. cruise before the May one IS to celebrate her. I understand that the first 3 months is the most challenging for the child, she will have to have some surgery/surgeries in the fall, and it will be her first Christmas! I saw it as an opportunity to celebrate her being in our family and being a big, brave girl. I thought it might be a bit of a trial run for the longer May cruise as well.

All of this will be determined by how well she adjusts upon coming home! Send us Pixie Dust!!

 

[tigger2on]

Thanks for this. One of the reasons that I am actually considering the shorter Dec. cruise before the May one IS to celebrate her. I understand that the first 3 months is the most challenging for the child, she will have to have some surgery/surgeries in the fall, and it will be her first Christmas! I saw it as an opportunity to celebrate her being in our family and being a big, brave girl. I thought it might be a bit of a trial run for the longer May cruise as well.

All of this will be determined by how well she adjusts upon coming home! Send us Pixie Dust!!

Usually children who are adopted into homes with other children tend to adjust quicker as they have someone to relate with. For children, language is NOT a major barrier. I think your other children will make the process that much easier on you all.

The fact that she is having medical procedures may cause fears of outside world for a while however, you will notice how quickly the bond becomes that much stronger due to the fact that you are there to calm her as her mom.

Every child is different... some adjust immediately... some in a short time and others, longer than most. It's just like the children we birth... all come out with very different personalities... all have strengths and weaknesses but either way, natural or adopted... children all look for one thing... a sense of belonging... to be loved... and to feel safe.

Bravo to you and your family for opening up your hearts and home and adding more love to your family! Wishing you many happy and magical memories to come!!

 

[cmclaura]

I'm an adoptee and applaud you for considering these sometimes delicate matters.

 

[pacomom]

As another adoptive mom, just wanted to also send my support and encouragement. We adopted from Ethiopia and the passport was not difficult to get once we were through court finalization here in the U.S as well. I know each country is different though as far as regulations go. Good luck! Brad, we are also cruising in October-the Western route on the 16th! My son (well, our whole family) loves seeing other families that look like us

 

[clawmachine]

I am also a Mom thanks to the blessing of international adoption. Thanks for the heads up about the new notice on the DCL site - I'll check it out. I can't imagine my son needs anything OTHER than his new passport - the whole reason we got it was to avoid having to bring his precious Citizenship Certificate that too over a year to receive! I second what kcashner said. We were dealing with a lot of post 9/11 delays and after 14 months of waiting finally made a call to our Senator and Rep. We had the cert within a week!

 

[Disney Khi]

Apparently, this hasn't been a problem for anyone, but we'll bring our court order just in case, and, as Viv will have just turned 3 when we cruise next year, I'll be in her passport picture with her, so that will help.

A bit OT but could someone explain this to me? I am confused. My DD got her passport when she was five months old and she is in the photo by herself. She is not adopted. Does it have something to do with being adopted? Sorry for the dumb questions, but I am just curious.

 

[skoi]

We have two adopted children from China, and cruised about eight months after both adoptions. We had no problems getting US passports for them within months of arrival in the US, and took no other paperwork.

Our ds had many medical, sensory, and emotional issues (including that new dad was deployed to Afghanistan within two months of his joining our family), but he enjoyed the cruise immensely once he got over his fear of the toilets on board.

Congratulations on your new family member and happy cruising.

Julie

 

[snusnu]

A bit OT but could someone explain this to me? I am confused. My DD got her passport when she was five months old and she is in the photo by herself. She is not adopted. Does it have something to do with being adopted? Sorry for the dumb questions, but I am just curious.

My sister got her 8 month old a passport and she got to be in the picture with him. I think it's an option a parent can choose for a child under 3.

 

[Michele325]

We adopted our son from China in Sept 2007 when he was 2. He had surgery with MAJOR complication in Nov 2007. I would say that he still wasn't back to normal in Feb 2008 when we took a 4 night cruise. Even so we all enjoyed the cruise so much we booked another one, which we took in August 2009 and we will go again on the Dream next year.

I can't remember if you have said you have cruised before or not. I think if your expectation are that she might spend the whole time with you and not go to the clubs once. You will have a great family bonding experience. She might surprise you, but ds didn't want to leave us that soon. With a 5 year old you just do not know what her adjustment will be like. If at all possible I would wait to book until after you meet her. Some kids are ready to do new things in a few weeks and trips will not bother them others (like our ds) needed a lot more time to bond and feel secure.

Congratulations. Older child adoption can be so rewarding along with its challenges. We have 2 older children as well. Also, we didn't have any problems getting his US passport in the time frame we had at all.

 

[Michele325]

We adopted our son from China in Sept 2007 when he was 2. He had surgery with MAJOR complication in Nov 2007. I would say that he still wasn't back to normal in Feb 2008 when we took a 4 night cruise. Even so we all enjoyed the cruise so much we booked another one, which we took in August 2009 and we will go again on the Dream next year.

I can't remember if you have said you have cruised before or not. I think if your expectation are that she might spend the whole time with you and not go to the clubs once. You will have a great family bonding experience. She might surprise you, but ds didn't want to leave us that soon. With a 5 year old you just do not know what her adjustment will be like. If at all possible I would wait to book until after you meet her. Some kids are ready to do new things in a few weeks and trips will not bother them others (like our ds) needed a lot more time to bond and feel secure.

Congratulations. Older child adoption can be so rewarding along with its challenges. We have 2 older children as well. Also, we didn't have any problems getting his US passport in the time frame we had at all.

 

[lilpooh108]

I don't have any advice but I just wanted to congratulate you on your adoption.