smidgy
dimples
- Joined
- Aug 27, 2006
Ya know, sometimes I think we need threads like this just so we know we are not alone.
{{{{hugs }}}}
Ya know, sometimes I think we need threads like this just so we know we are not alone.
...but unfortunately the people who need to hear the message are not likely to be reading it.
Ya know, sometimes I think we need threads like this just so we know we are not alone.
I'm sorry that you had to go through that.I have never really had this issue. I have braces on my wrists, on my feet, and I walk funny. and slow. If I'm in my wheelchair they recognize it's mine since it's pink. So most of the time I'm pretty "visible".
THEN a few weeks ago we were leaving a restaurant one night after dinner and some man saw my husband strapping in my daughter to her car seat and started doing that shame-shame finger thing at me while making an angry face (we were parked in handicapped parking, and I was already in my seat). I was SO ticked.
I followed him into the restaurant and asked him if that was him shaming me. He said it was, and how dare I park in the spots reserved for old (I'm almost 40 but look about 25) folks. I launched into a tirade about my EDS. I asked him which scars he'd like to see first-I've had 15 joint surgeries, he could take his pick! I said I was lucky to have the energy to eat out with my family, and walking across the lot would mean I wouldn't make it through dinner. I'm sure I said other things, including pointing out my doctor had signed off on a permanent parking placard, but I was so ticked that I don't remember. He started screaming (yes, screaming. I'm not exaggerating ) I'm sorry at me. repeatedly. I just walked out.
That was NOT a fun experience.
Then I got the idea on another board to make up some business cards at vistaprint explaining what I have and where to get more info. They are arriving any day and I can't wait. Not only can I just hand off the card and walk away from those that behaved like Mr. restaurant, but I can do the same to the cashier/stocker/john q. public without launching into huge explanations. To me it seems this is a much better option than the stressful encounter I had at the restaurant, and certainly better than hearing how their carpal tunnel surgery cured them...why haven't I tried it?
I'd imagine that the OP's DD was upset by the comments and wanted to share her outrage with her family members. I think that is perfectly understandable, especially given that the OP's DDs are just 15 and 20.
And why did you feel the need to question the OP's DD? How is that beneficial to the OP? If I were the OP, I would be pretty upset to read your post.
The OP said her daughter told 'just now' but the event happened earlier. That's why I was asking - why was it so important for the daughter to tell her mom, but not when it happened or right after it happened? That's what I was questioning. At 15 and 20, they can process things in a mature way, hopefully, and perhaps if the OP reads this she can have a conversation with her daughters about better ways to handled such a situation. Waiting until days later to tell this info is kind of cruel, IMO. It leaves the person rather helpless to rectify the situation.
Those particular people might not be. but there are lots of people on the Internet, and who knows? Maybe somebody will see it and it might plant a seed in their mind that could affect their behavior the next time they're tempted to make a snap judgment about others. My opinion is that we need to talk openly about these things, in public fora like this one, in order for any positive change to have a hope of ever occurring. Keeping quiet and just sucking it up may help in the moment, but it's never going to be any different if we never talk about what a problem it is.
I find that people are pretty clueless sometimes!
We were heading into Disney Jr. and I had DS stroller with the wheelchair tag, and was pushing him. Another mom in line told me that strollers weren't allowed, and I nicely showed her the sticker, and explained it was his wheelchair. She replied "oh! Lucky you!!" I just looked at my DH and laughed. Only at Disney do others get jealous of those with disabilities, wheelchairs, etc!
I find that people are pretty clueless sometimes!
We were heading into Disney Jr. and I had DS stroller with the wheelchair tag, and was pushing him. Another mom in line told me that strollers weren't allowed, and I nicely showed her the sticker, and explained it was his wheelchair. She replied "oh! Lucky you!!" I just looked at my DH and laughed. Only at Disney do others get jealous of those with disabilities, wheelchairs, etc!
I wonder how that would work with my Fibromyalgia since I have been told, even by a Dr, that it is a fake disease and all in my head. I SOOOO wanted a Freaky Friday moment with that Dr.
People like that suffer from their own disability called stupidity! When I encounter rude, miserable people like that I just say a simple thank you to God that I don't have to live with a person like that!I am sitting here tonight excitedly planning our family's trip to WDW in May '15!! I came across this thread because I too have an "invisible illness" that has progressed from the last trip to the House of Mouse that has got me nervous about what to expect. I just want to say thank you to all who have posted in this thread. It helps so much to know I am not alone in my experiences of having a not always so obvious illness and how others react to it. I didn't realize how much it affects me until I began reading everyone stories. My story: I am 40 and get the "you're too young speech" a lot. I have Ankylosing Spondylitis (autoimmune arthritis), chronic migraines, and fibromyalgia along with the host of symptoms I get just from taking the meds that keep me moving and functioning. By looking at me, I don't look "sick" (at least most of the time). When I am walking long days, doing more strenuous activities, stretching my limits (so I can feel "normal" and keep up with my DH and DS9 and DS7) I use a cane. I have disability cards for parking and fight with myself to use them. I could use them so much more often and should, by the looks get exhausting sometimes. This past summer we went to Great America. My husband thankfully suggested we use the parking tag because he knew I would be walking more that day and a hike across the long parking lot meant much less energy for me to play with my family in the park. I agreed and had a spot right up by the entrance. We came out at lunchtime for a break and picnic. As we sat there, another family walked by in which one of the adult loudly said "humph-why are THEY parked there? Who's "disabled"? Must be nice!" I didn't catch it all, but my husband did and was upset. He didn't say anything to them, but told me out of his own frustration. "Must be nice". Let's see- must be nice to be 40 and use a cane. It's nice to be questioned and mocked. It's wonderful to be in so much pain all the time. And I absolutely LOVE it when my ribs lock up so bad with inflammation that it makes it hard to breathe. It is nice to be down for the count for several days as a consequence of trying to be with my family having fun for one day. I relish in the fact that my body had NO immune system due to the meds I take to function which means the sniffles to you is a week long affair flirting with the Emergency room, needles, and body aches on par with getting stomped by a T-rex from Dinosaur for me! I could go on.... But hey- I get to park up close! WooHoo! We get to ride EVCs, and sit closer, and "go to the front of the line" (not). What a perk!!! Ha! The only reason I do not look "sick" is because I do not want my illness to define me. How I look and and how I truly feel most days are worlds apart. And if the "must be nicers" knew the effort that goes into not playing the victim, they would be amazed. (well- probably not) To my fellow Invisible Illness friends- again Thank You!! Thank You for reminding me it doesn't matter what "they" think. I know the battle I fight. And I know that trips like the one I am planning are extra special because I can still take them with my family. So what if I use my cane, ask for help, sit a little closer in the "special" seats, or take the last seat on the bus. I do not have to justify or feel guilty. It means I have a little more energy in reserve to stand that extra bit of time to meet Mickey or see my kiddos faces light up at Wishes at the end of a magical day!! Hugs to all of you! I feel more assured as I get ready for May!!
People like that suffer from their own disability called stupidity! When I encounter rude, miserable people like that I just say a simple thank you to God that I don't have to live with a person like that!
I am sitting here tonight excitedly planning our family's trip to WDW in May '15!!
I came across this thread because I too have an "invisible illness" that has progressed from the last trip to the House of Mouse that has got me nervous about what to expect.
I just want to say thank you to all who have posted in this thread. It helps so much to know I am not alone in my experiences of having a not always so obvious illness and how others react to it. I didn't realize how much it affects me until I began reading everyone stories.
My story:
I am 40 and get the "you're too young speech" a lot. I have Ankylosing Spondylitis (autoimmune arthritis), chronic migraines, and fibromyalgia along with the host of symptoms I get just from taking the meds that keep me moving and functioning. By looking at me, I don't look "sick" (at least most of the time). When I am walking long days, doing more strenuous activities, stretching my limits (so I can feel "normal" and keep up with my DH and DS9 and DS7) I use a cane. I have disability cards for parking and fight with myself to use them. I could use them so much more often and should, by the looks get exhausting sometimes.
This past summer we went to Great America. My husband thankfully suggested we use the parking tag because he knew I would be walking more that day and a hike across the long parking lot meant much less energy for me to play with my family in the park. I agreed and had a spot right up by the entrance. We came out at lunchtime for a break and picnic. As we sat there, another family walked by in which one of the adult loudly said "humph-why are THEY parked there? Who's "disabled"? Must be nice!"
I didn't catch it all, but my husband did and was upset. He didn't say anything to them, but told me out of his own frustration.
"Must be nice".
Let's see- must be nice to be 40 and use a cane. It's nice to be questioned and mocked. It's wonderful to be in so much pain all the time. And I absolutely LOVE it when my ribs lock up so bad with inflammation that it makes it hard to breathe. It is nice to be down for the count for several days as a consequence of trying to be with my family having fun for one day. I relish in the fact that my body had NO immune system due to the meds I take to function which means the sniffles to you is a week long affair flirting with the Emergency room, needles, and body aches on par with getting stomped by a T-rex from Dinosaur for me! I could go on....
But hey- I get to park up close! WooHoo!
We get to ride EVCs, and sit closer, and "go to the front of the line" (not).
What a perk!!!
Ha! The only reason I do not look "sick" is because I do not want my illness to define me. How I look and and how I truly feel most days are worlds apart. And if the "must be nicers" knew the effort that goes into not playing the victim, they would be amazed. (well- probably not)
To my fellow Invisible Illness friends- again Thank You!! Thank You for reminding me it doesn't matter what "they" think. I know the battle I fight. And I know that trips like the one I am planning are extra special because I can still take them with my family. So what if I use my cane, ask for help, sit a little closer in the "special" seats, or take the last seat on the bus. I do not have to justify or feel guilty. It means I have a little more energy in reserve to stand that extra bit of time to meet Mickey or see my kiddos faces light up at Wishes at the end of a magical day!!
Hugs to all of you!
I feel more assured as I get ready for May!!
Those particular people might not be. but there are lots of people on the Internet, and who knows? Maybe somebody will see it and it might plant a seed in their mind that could affect their behavior the next time they're tempted to make a snap judgment about others. ...