7 months pregnant and husband having an affair...what now?

[Tiger926]

Thanks for update, OP!

Continue to be strong for you and your baby.

All the best, Tiger

 

[PrincessNancy96]

Thank you for the update OP...

I'm so glad you that you have made a decision. Glad your parents are there for you and that you will be headed that direction soon.

Stay strong and take care of yourself and your precious little one..

 

[LongLiveDisney]

Thank goodness you're okay OP! Don't feel obligated to update us all the time; we know you have a lot going on in your life right now. Best of luck!

 

[padams]

Prayers and good wishes for you and your baby.

 

[jodifla]

Glad you got some clarity from your lawyer. Hope your doctor gives you the OK to travel. Good luck with everything back in Canada.

P.S. Can't believe your husband's "turnaround"! Eeeck.

 

[3smithboys]

Sp glad you are ok! Stay strong.... think calming thoughts for low blood pressure so you can get the he** out of Dodge!!!

 

[Imzadi]

I am well within my rights to go back to Canada now, but I wouldn't be after the baby was born - and once he is born, I might need to come back with the baby to contend custody if necessary. That's something my attorney is looking into. . .

. . . If not, I have to start looking for train fares - because I am definitely going back.


I'm also leaving money to pay for cat food, litter, etc. It's eating into the money I've set aside, but I think this is the best legal option to cover all my bases.

Glad you are okay. Thanks for updating us. However, you do NOT owe any of us an update.

I'm glad you are looking for ways to get back to Canada. I wanted to say after you posted that your OB/GYN didn't want you to fly, that you
should rent a car or get on a train & head right up the coast to Canada. Even if its not your final destination, your mom can meet you in Canada, and least you'd be across the border. This way, if the baby arrives early, while you are still traveling, you both are on the of the side of the border.

Going straight up the coast, by car, it would be about a 3-4 day trip. Perhaps your mom can fly down to drive with you.

As for the cats, arrange to have a friend temporarily keep them. Or look into a foster agency. this way they will be out of DH's control. Someone can always ship the cats to Canada later when you get settled. If DH asks about the cars, all you have to say is that you "took" the cats. No need to explain to him where they are, or that they aren't going to Canada with you at this time.

Last, I would suggest NOT telling DH the day you are leaving. You don't want an altercation with him, in the house alone, while you are trying to leave, and he is blocking your ability to get out of the house or fighting you for the luggage. Many bad "Movies of the Week," start out with the DH fighting the wife from leaving, accidentally knocking her down, etc. and she ends up giving birth early, (in the U.S.,) or losing the baby.

The day you go, just go, when he is out of the house or at work. Or have a friend there with you.

Good luck and safe journey to you and your baby.

 

["Cinder" Ella's Mom]

I just want to say that you are such a strong woman. Many women would consider staying with DH once he started saying what they wanted to hear. It is to your credit that you can stay focused on what is really best for you and your child. One day he will know what a strong mama he has. I wish you health and happiness.

 

[Disney Doll]

Good decisions.
Please try and do something with the cats besides leaving them with him.
Don't tell him when you're going...just go one day.

 

[Rylee]

This must be very difficult for you but all things considered, I really believe you are making the right decision.

Your husband is so self-centered.

 

[Halloweenqueen]

Well, she has either decided to stay and does not want to hear what we have to say about that or its a hoax. Either way its very sad.

I was starting to think the same thing. Her username does kind of spell trick...TRK...

Glad the OP gave an update. I wish her the best.

 

[joyjanet]

Just so the OP knows she is not the only one who is or has gone through this I thought I would put this info that I found at another forum here for her to read:

"I found out when I was 7 months pregnant that my husband had been having an affair with some 'girl' at work for 3 months We have a 4 year old too and I am feeling so desperate and low even though it's been 6 months since I found out. I cannot talk to family & friends about it. I am devastated and can't bear to rip my family appart but don't believe my husband loves me anymore (even though he says he does) he was telling this girl he loved her too. I can't get the image of them out of my head. I felt insecure anyway because I was pregnant but I don't have a shred of self esteem now and hate myself. It is affecting my relationship with my children. I avoid going out or seeing anyone. I feel like everyone is laughing at me. Every time I pass someone I wonder if it's her.

I'm not sure how I will ever feel normal again and am just looking for someone who may have been through something similar to offer some advice as I feel as though I am cracking up."

I guess it happens more often than people like to believe.

 

[Fly4free]

Good decisions.
Please try and do something with the cats besides leaving them with him.
Don't tell him when you're going...just go one day.

I know you have more than enough on your plate right now, but if possible I would try to put some feelers out for someone to take the cats. You could start with the vets office. Mine allows flyers to be put up with adoptable pets. Maybe a friend could take them for you until a new home can be found.

ITA with not letting Husband know when you are leaving. It's best to avoid a confrontation or emotional scene. Pretend to go to work that day like nothing is going on and end up at the train station or airport. Keep your packed bags at a friend's house or in the trunk of your car. I would start sending things ahead by UPS.

I'll be saying a prayer for you and your precious baby. Hope once you tell your ob that you are leaving one way or another he will give you the go ahead.

 

[JoiseyMom]

OP, thanks for the update, and I am so happy for you that you are being so strong!

Before you leave, if there are items you want, but can't take with you for the time being, either leave them with a close friend you trust, or rent a small storage space. This way you can get them or have them shipped to you at a later time.

I would also try to bring the cats with you. If you can fly, I am pretty sure they can fly with you in an appropriate cat carrier. The best of luck for you and your baby! You are doing the right thing!

 

[jujube]

Thanks for the update!
Be safe and thank God you're moving back to Canada!!!! You will realize how helpful your parent's support and help is after the baby is born.

 

[Imzadi]

I would also try to bring the cats with you. If you can fly, I am pretty sure they can fly with you in an appropriate cat carrier. The best of luck for you and your baby! You are doing the right thing!

They might not be able to fly internationally. Just to fly my cat across country, not internationally, I had to have my vet sign a form saying she had all the right shots, and dated within the month I was traveling. Some animals also need to be quarantined for a length of time after arriving in the other country.

Canada may be more lenient with animals coming from the U.S. But, it's one more thing to have to research in addition to everything else going on. She might be able to get away with driving them across the border, but again, it's something that needs to be researched.

Frankly, if there are more problems flying them across the border, once I got settled, I'd have them shipped to the closest city at the U.S. border near the my Canadian home, then go pick up the cats drive them across.

 

[zurgswife]

Thanks for checking in ....Sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders. Best of luck in Canada.

 

[lizabu]

I am so glad to hear you are OK. I think you made the right choice. Please please tread very carefully. The most dangerous time in a woman's life is when she decided to leave. If you can do it without telling him please do. It could get ugly if he tries to stop you. Take care of yourself and your baby and good luck.

 

[minnie56]

There should be no issus flying with the cats..as long as they have had their shots and a clean bill of health. Hopefully, someone would come such as her Mother or Father and help her out..

Poor thing, my heart aches for her..

 

[crashbb]

They might not be able to fly internationally. Just to fly my cat across country, not internationally, I had to have my vet sign a form saying she had all the right shots, and dated within the month I was traveling. Some animals also need to be quarantined for a length of time after arriving in the other country.

Canada may be more lenient with animals coming from the U.S. But, it's one more thing to have to research in addition to everything else going on. She might be able to get away with driving them across the border, but again, it's something that needs to be researched.

Frankly, if there are more problems flying them across the border, once I got settled, I'd have them shipped to the closest city at the U.S. border near the my Canadian home, then go pick up the cats drive them across.

We drove two cats from Canada into the US (and then back again) for a year's secondment in the US and had no problems at the border and had no forms to show.

Definitely something to check on (maybe we were just lucky?), but I don't foresee a problem, at by land.