Yes. If the MOB wants an expensive shower for her daughter, she should cough up the funds, and not expect others to spend hundreds of dollars.So like a silent partner? That seems so much less appropriate in wedding events than in business.
Yes. If the MOB wants an expensive shower for her daughter, she should cough up the funds, and not expect others to spend hundreds of dollars.So like a silent partner? That seems so much less appropriate in wedding events than in business.
Yes. If the MOB wants an expensive shower for her daughter, she should cough up the funds, and not expect others to spend hundreds of dollars.
The multiple showers correctly had no overlapping guests.
I did not read the whole thread, so I may be repeating previous info, but I had 300+ people at my wedding, but about 40 people at one shower and 20 at another. The one with 40 was at a restaurant, and the one with 20 was at a friend's home. Can you split them up? 100 people at one shower is ridiculous. It will take several hours. The invite list should be family and very close friends only.The wedding venue is a 150 minimum so that's why the shower will be about 75 people. Weddings are crazy around here If you let them be.
I just want to get this stuff alll straight since I have one dd and if I need too I will gladly provide a venue, or my home and pay for her shower. If I do that, I have to say its hosted by someone else, even if it technically isn't, or it will look like a gift grab? That is true for all regions and cultures?
There are posts that insinuate that showers are just not done in someone's home or a church fellowship hall, so I guess it's more that it violates cultural norms. There are also posts that insinuate that it would be rude not to invite every woman who is invited to the wedding, which ups the cost of the shower.
I think you would be hard pressed to find any etiquette book or wedding forum in the US where the MOB hosting the shower would not be looked at as a gift grab. Should it be this way? No, I actually don't think it should, as showers are pretty much expected and nobody would expect the bride's family to provide them with all of the items that a bride typically receives at her shower. But it is what it is, and I wouldn't call myself the hostess even if it was in my home.
I can see how NOT taking an actual gift would be nice b/c it's totally a hassle for the B&G to take their gifts. Usually someone else actually takes them for them and they get them later after the honeymoon. Which honestly is a hassle, so the card thing or gift mailed to the home would be nice.
It just is. Google adding shower etiquette.I don't have any problem not being considered the hostess and being a silent partner, I just don't get why its considered a gift grab. Its like you said, a shower is expected, why does who hosts it determine if its a gift grab or not.
It just is. Google adding shower etiquette.
Yes, it would be hosted by her bridal party (or aunt Marie, or cousin Gina...).But the expectation is that if she does "cough up the funds" she has to let someone else host it?
Are there particular reasons for these rules, or is it just custom now with no thought as to why? I can't figure out why some of these things are viewed as bad. Can someone explain it to me like I'm 5?
"Its just how it is"
or
"Because I said so"- Emily Post
Well, I did ask to be told like I was 5 Thanks!
The gift thing is so strange to me! I've never been to a wedding without gift in hand! As I mentioned earlier I work at a wedding venue. We have about 40-50 weddings a year. Our average wedding costs about $30,000 here alone (so not counting dress, usually flowers, photographer...just space, food and perhaps a couple hotel that the b/g or family are paying for). They're not cheap events and we have never ever had a wedding without at least one 8 foot table set up for gifts. A larger number of guests would dictate the need for more than one gift table.
I can see how NOT taking an actual gift would be nice b/c it's totally a hassle for the B&G to take their gifts. Usually someone else actually takes them for them and they get them later after the honeymoon. Which honestly is a hassle, so the card thing or gift mailed to the home would be nice.
I don't have any problem not being considered the hostess and being a silent partner, I just don't get why its considered a gift grab. Its like you said, a shower is expected, why does who hosts it determine if its a gift grab or not.
This is to my best understanding of the history behind this: A shower is entirely about gifts. The whole point is to get together and give the bride (in this case) gifts. The bride herself or the MOB can't host because that is asking for gifts for themselves (I guess the MOB is an extension of the bride). A friend, bridesmaid, or more distant relative can host and ask for gifts because they're asking for everyone to get together and give gifts to their friend, niece, cousin, etc. The distance (even if it's slight) matters.
All these "this is the way weddings & showers are done in the northeast" traditions just seem tacky & so greedy to me & are yet another reason why I'm glad I don't live there.