Was I wrong to respond to rudeness with more rudeness?

[CaoilinnsMom]

I don't think there is ever a good reason for rudeness, it doesn't add anything positive to the situation. Can you justify it? Maybe, but that is all you are doing. I am sure there is an effective way to handle this situation without being rude. If he responded as he did to your rudeness, he probably would have also responded to an honest reflection of how his behavior affected you. You probably would have left the incident feeling better than you did with a positive interaction.

 

[Mizzoufan]

I think Op was harsh and rude. I don't believe two wrongs make a right.

 

[FINFAN]

I don't think there is ever a good reason for rudeness, it doesn't add anything positive to the situation. Can you justify it? Maybe, but that is all you are doing. I am sure there is an effective way to handle this situation without being rude. If he responded as he did to your rudeness, he probably would have also responded to an honest reflection of how his behavior affected you. You probably would have left the incident feeling better than you did with a positive interaction.

I have to agree with this. The title of the OP's thread~respond to rudeness with more rudeness~says it all. OP is acknowledging that they are both rude, but again, something I would have let go. Just not that big of a deal. It's the movies , in a concession line.

 

[reebs2]

In the minority but agree with the OP. I'm a paying customer and deserve to be treated as such.

I took the family to Buffalo Wild Wings this past Friday. Walked through the door and stood in front of the podium where a young girl was shuffling menus. Stood there for a little while not saying a word until she made eye contact and said "how many?". No "hello", no "welcome to BWW". Just "how many".
Instead of saying anything I just did a slow burn.

What happened to customer service? On a positive note, the kid serving us did a great job and made up for the girl up front.

 

[bsblady01]

I agree with your wife

 

[low-key]

Of course you were but sometimes ya gotta get it out of ya

 

[Southernmiss]

I could see some men I know responding as op did and not thinking they were rude, just being 'helpful'. The women I know wouldn't respond as the op did and would think a man responding that way was rude.

 

[Mokat76]

I'm with you, OP.

 

[LBIJim]

What the movie concession clerk did wouldn't even be a blip on my radar. As long as they're not spitting upon or cursing at me, I don't really expect much from an employee in what is most likely a first, minimum wage job.

But if it bothers the OP, it bothers him. I don't think he went overboard with his reaction.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

Everyone has a bad day at work once in a while. Everyone who works with the public will have a day when they're sick and tired of dealing with demanding and rude customers. However, that is absolutely no excuse to treat a customer in a rude manner. It is extremely rude to make a motion with your fingers rather than greeting the customer with, "May I help you?" You simply can't take out your frustrations with other customers, your manager, your co-workers, etc. on your current customer. The employee will continue this behavior if he's not called on it once in a while. I don't think it was rude of the OP to point it out.

 

[Diznygrl]

Generally I don't like to tick off the people who are handling my food. Hope you didn't get anything "extra" added to your popcorn or soda.

 

[EMom]

I could see some men I know responding as op did and not thinking they were rude, just being 'helpful'. The women I know wouldn't respond as the op did and would think a man responding that way was rude.

I'm a woman and while I may not have reacted exactly the same way as the OP, I can completely understand why he reacted as he did. Had I gotten a hand gesture from the employee instead of a "May I help you?" or something similar, things would not have gone well. My DH is the more easygoing of the two of us and even he would have taken the employee to task. It was generous of the OP to handle it with the employee and not take it to his superior.

 

[BigAlsGal]

What the movie concession clerk did wouldn't even be a blip on my radar. As long as they're not spitting upon or cursing at me, I don't really expect much from an employee in what is most likely a first, minimum wage job.

But if it bothers the OP, it bothers him. I don't think he went overboard with his reaction.

The sad thing is they don't even make minimum wage. For some reason concessions is exempt from minimum wage. I'm surprised they can even get anyone to work there. Homeless people panhandling on the street make more money than this kid.

 

[POOHsie]

Let's rework the title of this thread to:

"Responding to Silent Customer Service with More Silence."

The snack guy starts by giving you some spinning fingers.
You point to the medium popcorn box.
He holds up one finger to indicate "one box?"
You reply "OK" with your fingers.
You point to the medium drink cup, and point to the word "Coke." You hold up 2 fingers for 2 drinks.
He gives you the OK with his fingers, then shrugs to indicate "anything else?"
You shake your head "No."
He points to the register total.
You hand over the money
He nods and waves "Bye."
(optional) You give him a one-fingered "Thank You" .
Game Over.

 

[Andtototoo]

My husband would do something like that in the last few years. He never used to behave that way.

You know what? I HATE when he behaves that way. I am embarrassed and the outing is ruined for me. Note that I am no shrinking violet, don't have any problem with confrontation, and have no problem speaking up when I feel I've gotten poor service. But... there is a time and place and a proper way of handling the situation. PLUS you have to consider the impact on those who witness your behavior, like, say, your wife.

You also have to ask WHY you did what you did. I can only speak for my husband, but he feels a smug sense of satisfaction at putting someone in "their place". That's not a positive character trait. It's not an attractive character trait to witness.

 

[kaytieeldr]

Right, I did not yell at him, however I was a bit sarcastic which I somewhat regret now.

Yep. You were. There are more tactful ways of getting the point across. You knew he was open/taking customers. Maybe everyone before you started ordering before he could offer them anything?

Ugh! This story makes me mad just reading it!

No. That was not okay for the employee to do that. Totally disrespectful and rude. The only difference is, I would have went up to the manager and told him what kind of customer service this "kid" was providing...

Why is kid in quotation marks? Do you have some information we don't about his actual age? Or is referring to any minor using terminology associated with young farm animals offensive?

If you read my most recent post, you would have saw that the secret to not being rude to customers is to learn to bite your tongue and ignore rudeness on the customer's behalf

The not-so-secret secret to not being rude to customers is not being rude to customers.

 

[meowser]

Yes, you were wrong to respond to rudeness with rudeness. It's rude. And if I was with you, I'd have been embarrassed at your behavior. There are ways to 'call' him on his rudeness without being rude yourself.

 

[Chocolate Cake]

He never said this, but instead gave me the classic "start talking" motion with his hand (hand held horizontally with one or two fingers out and rotated like a wheel). Well when I saw this I saw red, despite the fact that I'm a really easy-going guy. I said, "Are you open?", to which he responded, "Yes". I then said, "Oh, because when I stepped up you didn't say anything, instead you chose to make a rude gesture. Traditionally the customer is greeted by the cashier with, 'hello, can I help you' or something to that effect". He apologized and asked if he could help me.

I don't think you were rude at all You explained how you expected to be treated. You weren't nasty. You were to the point. You taught him something his manager obviously failed to do and hopefully gave him a lesson he will not forget.

I don't think I could ever stand there silently while a teenager made hand gestures towards me, rather than saying "How can I help you?"

 

[NewRVLady]

First of all-
working in a movie theater is USUALLY someones first job
Its a learning thing
If you have worked there for a long time, that means you are not "Hireable" at something better
This isn't a waiter at a fine dining establishment-this is a poor schmuch doing a job he/she really wished they weren't at

 

[Chocolate Cake]

First of all-
working in a movie theater is USUALLY someones first job
Its a learning thing

Exactly. And now he learned that you don't make impatient hand gestures at a customer in lieu of saying "How can I help you?".

His parents didn't teach him. His manager didn't teach him. But someone finally did. Now, perhaps, he can take that new skill and polish himself a bit more that he isn't working in a movie theater concession stand for the rest of his life.