This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun.
--Chevy Chase
My trip so far has been a comedy of errors. See that dark cloud looming over it? Trust me, it's up there. It's been following me around town since I started planning. Hovering...all lugubrious and foreboding. But time may be on my side, my friend. [Slowly rubs hands together with a malicious grin and satanic stare.] Oh yes, my precious. Time. Plenty of time. [grin widens, hands rub faster]
Anyway, there's still nine months to fix this hot mess. And soon the benevolent Disney deities will see my predicament from above, take pity on me, and blow that damn cloud away. Then they will drench my plans with a bucket of pixie dust and a squirt of plucky Mickey enthusiasm because that's what they do. They fix things.
You: Why do I care?
Me: I don't know, you read this far. You must be mildly curious.
You: Actually, I was absentmindedly perusing the pre-trip report board and I accidentally clicked---
Me: Alright, stop begging. Ill continue.
It all started in early October. I found this little nugget on Pinterest: New! Simple Recipe For Planning An Unsuccessful Vacation. As you can imagine, it piqued my interest. And like anything posted on Pinterest, it sounded like the next best thing from sliced bread, so I thought I would give it a try.
-----------
1 expensive ingredient (preferred: no prior experience)
Dash sarcasm
1 steaming pile of travel agent
1 (or more) apathetic family members
Optional: three useless travel agents for garnish
Optional: (quantity as desired) The in-laws
Combine all ingredients until well blended. Place in pressure cooker. Cook on high until it reaches the consistency of a goopy mess.
Serve with a tossed green salad.
Congratulations! Youve got the potential to have a disastrous vacation.
------------
[dramatic pause]
I could think of a better way to start planning for my sons first trip to WDW. How many years have I fantasized about planning this vacation? Since before he was even a twinkle in my husbands eye? In those years of fantasies...has not everything about the trip--from planning to execution--gone flawlessly in my mind?
[August 2006, standing in my bathroom with a used pregnancy stick in my left hand, my flip cell phone in my right]
Me: Darling, I'm going to make reservations for our child's first trip to Disney World. Shall I dial the Disney Reservation line myself, or will you?
Him: Shouldn't we see what the stick says first?
Have I not waited (oh so patiently, may I add) until my one and only son reached the perfect age for his first experience with Mickey? Have I not earned this ridiculously anticipated moment? Should it not be filled with immeasurable joy and wonder? WELL???
Here's my story.
Ingredient #1: Strange, new, expensive contraption
Ingredient #2: dash of sarcasm
Optional ingredient: The in-laws
Ingredient #3: Steaming pile of travel agent
Optional ingredient: more clueless travel agents
Ingredient #4. (Or #5? I lost track): apathetic family members
--Chevy Chase
My trip so far has been a comedy of errors. See that dark cloud looming over it? Trust me, it's up there. It's been following me around town since I started planning. Hovering...all lugubrious and foreboding. But time may be on my side, my friend. [Slowly rubs hands together with a malicious grin and satanic stare.] Oh yes, my precious. Time. Plenty of time. [grin widens, hands rub faster]
Anyway, there's still nine months to fix this hot mess. And soon the benevolent Disney deities will see my predicament from above, take pity on me, and blow that damn cloud away. Then they will drench my plans with a bucket of pixie dust and a squirt of plucky Mickey enthusiasm because that's what they do. They fix things.
You: Why do I care?
Me: I don't know, you read this far. You must be mildly curious.
You: Actually, I was absentmindedly perusing the pre-trip report board and I accidentally clicked---
Me: Alright, stop begging. Ill continue.
It all started in early October. I found this little nugget on Pinterest: New! Simple Recipe For Planning An Unsuccessful Vacation. As you can imagine, it piqued my interest. And like anything posted on Pinterest, it sounded like the next best thing from sliced bread, so I thought I would give it a try.
-----------
Destination: Disaster
Serves one family
Serves one family
1 expensive ingredient (preferred: no prior experience)
Dash sarcasm
1 steaming pile of travel agent
1 (or more) apathetic family members
Optional: three useless travel agents for garnish
Optional: (quantity as desired) The in-laws
Combine all ingredients until well blended. Place in pressure cooker. Cook on high until it reaches the consistency of a goopy mess.
Serve with a tossed green salad.
Congratulations! Youve got the potential to have a disastrous vacation.
------------
[dramatic pause]
I could think of a better way to start planning for my sons first trip to WDW. How many years have I fantasized about planning this vacation? Since before he was even a twinkle in my husbands eye? In those years of fantasies...has not everything about the trip--from planning to execution--gone flawlessly in my mind?
[August 2006, standing in my bathroom with a used pregnancy stick in my left hand, my flip cell phone in my right]
Me: Darling, I'm going to make reservations for our child's first trip to Disney World. Shall I dial the Disney Reservation line myself, or will you?
Him: Shouldn't we see what the stick says first?
Have I not waited (oh so patiently, may I add) until my one and only son reached the perfect age for his first experience with Mickey? Have I not earned this ridiculously anticipated moment? Should it not be filled with immeasurable joy and wonder? WELL???
Here's my story.
Ingredient #1: Strange, new, expensive contraption
Ingredient #2: dash of sarcasm
Optional ingredient: The in-laws
Ingredient #3: Steaming pile of travel agent
Optional ingredient: more clueless travel agents
Ingredient #4. (Or #5? I lost track): apathetic family members