Canadian Buffoon European Vacation - 30/03 - Endings and Silver Linings

[Backstage_Gal]

Yay!

Jill in CO

Thanks, Jill!

A free ZD or two to anyone votes that T-Man owes me dinner!

 

[smidgy]

maraita, marita.. I DO have a cell phone.. just a cheapo "pay as you go" phone. we got tired of the check in scenario "ok give us your cell # and we'll call you when your room is ready" me"we don't have a cell phone" them "it would be easier if we could just call your cell" me "that might be true, but I don't HAVE one!!" etc etc.

that and being on the road for drives down, it seemed to make sense. and I thought I should have one for my late night drives home from work.

so now it sits in the bottom of my purse, uncharged half the time!


great chapter ponzi! I thought sure you would miss your flight. the story about your dad reminds me of the time I had my dad take steve home from a downtown chicago hospital a day after his initial foot surgery. nebo said he barely survived that ride home, my dad going about 45 on the expressway.

ok, one question: is tipping cabs the same as tipping servers in Canada? I was thinking maybe she the dispatcher was mumbling cause of the 5% tip? dont' kill me now!!! just askin'. (cause in the usa I always tip 20%)

I cannot imagine such a long layover and long flight! yikes!

I can't wait to hear what happens next!

 

[Lady Elle]

Hey look! It's me!

just for the record I wanted to go in the disney store!

and I vote yes for the bet! So can I get a ZD????????????????????????????

 

[Thumper_Man]

Thanks, Jill!

A free ZD or two to anyone votes that T-Man owes me dinner!

I have no idea when this turned into a trial, but I object. No evidence has been provided of alleged bet. I move for a mistrial due to prosecution bribery.

One thing to keep in mind, there is also an appeals process. And you know how long those can drag out.

 

[Backstage_Gal]

Hey look! It's me!

just for the record I wanted to go in the disney store!

and I vote yes for the bet! So can I get a ZD????????????????????????????

Hi, welcome! And you most certainly can

 

[Lady Elle]

awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks!

 

[pkondz]

I don't know about Canada, but her we can call for dismissal without needing a jury.

Who is this "her" that you refer to? Do you mean Lady H? 'Cause she's probably on my side here!

Was it a typo? Hmmmmm? Did you mean "here"???? And just where do you think this TR is originating from?


My TR... My rules...

(Except for when I get a warning from the mods.... but that's a different story!)

So yes, it does get more fair than that. I call for motion to dismiss this case due to lack of evidence. If the court refuses to grant my dismissal then I have the right to trial. Can't just jump straight the sentence.

My TR. Motion denied. Right to a trial granted... and judgement has been found (everybody loves a speedy trial):

You owe Marita one V&A dinner provided the Jury votes in favor.

And I also formerly request a motion for an immediate dismissal due to the badgering of the jury by Ponzi for calling them "poops" if they vote 'NAY."

Motion denied. And just a hint... you might want to vote "nay"... even though you'll be labeled a poop.

Or you could just come clean and surrender to the inevitable.

Not only is it too late, but you will never, never be offered free ZD's again.

Like EVER. At least not from T_Man.

Man.... That's just... just.... mean.

My services are available for a flat rate, say unlimited ZD's or dinner at V&A, eh.

Jill in CO

Seems reasonable.

Yay!

Jill in CO

Uh, oh. Doesn't look too good for the accused.

A free ZD or two to anyone votes that T-Man owes me dinner!

I vote YAY! I vote YAY! I vote YAY!


Oh, and Thumpy? With all due respect...

great chapter ponzi! I thought sure you would miss your flight.

Scared ya there, did I?

the story about your dad reminds me of the time I had my dad take steve home from a downtown chicago hospital a day after his initial foot surgery. nebo said he barely survived that ride home, my dad going about 45 on the expressway.

ok, one question: is tipping cabs the same as tipping servers in Canada? I was thinking maybe she the dispatcher was mumbling cause of the 5% tip? dont' kill me now!!! just askin'. (cause in the usa I always tip 20%)

I think that's a real hornet's nest. I know some people tip cabbies 20%, some don't tip at all and some are somewhere in between.

I usually tip a cabbie a couple or three bucks. More if he's moving my bags... usually a buck or two a bag. I feel that the fare is exorbitant already so I don't feel a need to add to my pain!

In other instances for other services I tip quite well. Example would be for a haircut. I tip the stylist on average about 25-30%. Later on in the TR (hopefully I'll remember to mention it.) you'll see how much I tipped a particular tour guide.

I cannot imagine such a long layover and long flight! yikes!

It wasn't too bad since we had something to do. If we'd been stuck at the airport.... Wait. That happened on our last flight from MCO to MSP. The plane broke down and we were delayed about 6 hours... so we spent about 8 hours at that airport... not knowing when (or if) we'd get going.

Now that was brutal!

I can't wait to hear what happens next!

Me too! Oh, wait...

Hey look! It's me!

Where?!?

just for the record I wanted to go in the disney store!

and I vote yes for the bet! So can I get a ZD????????????????????????????

Yes, you did. And I vetoed it. I knew darn well that we had a plane to catch and I'd never get you out of there!

And see Marita when we're down there for your ZD (and mine too.)

I have no idea when this turned into a trial, but I object.

Overruled!

No evidence has been provided of alleged bet. I move for a mistrial due to prosecution bribery.

Motion denied!

One thing to keep in mind, there is also an appeals process. And you know how long those can drag out.

I know exactly how long an appeal would last. Wanna place another bet on how that would go?

Gee, this Judge business isn't so hard. I don't know what all the fuss is about.

 

[Thumper_Man]

My TR... My rules...

My TR. Motion denied.

Duly noted.

Keep in mind; rules only apply to those who choose to partake in this TR.

Since T_Man chooses to march to the beat of his own drum.

I DON'T NEED RULES!

 

[pkondz]

Duly noted.

Keep in mind; rules only apply to those who choose to partake in this TR.

Since T_Man chooses to march to the beat of his own drum.

I DON'T NEED RULES!

Whoopsie! I can't afford to lose any readers!!

Case dismissed!


(Dang I hate a good argument sometimes. )

Wait... does this mean I get a ZD from you instead?

 

[queenbetsey]

I vote yay also
great post Ponzi and man your girls just get prettier by the day.

 

[buzz1121]

Pkondz, great chapter! I know, I know I'm late. I've had a string of really early mornings at work combined with late afternoons and with a teething baby....heck, I just might be able to actually sleep in coach if I were there now. That's when you know you are tired!

What a layover! I think my longest layover has been 5 hours, which was a tough haul for me. I always feel so restless....I just want to feel the forward progress, you know? I don't think I would handle purgatory too well!

And if I can interject my opinion, I always vote on drawing out the Nebo/degrees of Kevin Bacon TRs. I feel like we are all friends and it's great to get to share and talk to you all.

I know I need to catch up reading the Thumper's TR. It's been so busy. Hopefully the Thumpers know I love them!

 

[buzz1121]

Whoopsie! I can't afford to lose any readers!!

Case dismissed!


(Dang I hate a good argument sometimes. )

Wait... does this mean I get a ZD from you instead?

Wait, wait, wait! You know you will be getting, yes, let's use the word despite the risk of psychological trauma as a result of withdrawal, zebra domes, from me. Especially now that we have the ND route figured out. The only limitation we have is getting me back to WDW so I can send them to you and your family. Consider it one of my missions. And there's also the offer of "eat your weight" in zebra domes at Boma dinner someday.

 

[Ciciwoowoo]

Loving your trip report so far!

 

[PrincessCaitlin]

I am not sure how I missed the most recent update

It seems that any air travel can make or break a vacation You either start off on the right foot with a nice flight there or are more anxious to get there with a horrible flight. Then coming back can either be a breeze or you have a terrible flight and end up more excited to come home

I can't wait to hear about Paris!

 

[pkondz]

I vote yay also
great post Ponzi and man your girls just get prettier by the day.

Thanks! And they do, don't they? They certainly don't get that from me!!
It's all Ruby's doing.

Pkondz, great chapter!

Thanks Buzz!

I know, I know I'm late.

Better then never.

I've had a string of really early mornings at work combined with late afternoons and with a teething baby....heck, I just might be able to actually sleep in coach if I were there now. That's when you know you are tired!

Gee, wish I'd know about that earlier. I could've borrowed baby buzzette for a few days then had a nice sleep on the plane.

What a layover! I think my longest layover has been 5 hours, which was a tough haul for me. I always feel so restless....I just want to feel the forward progress, you know? I don't think I would handle purgatory too well!

That might've been purgatory... but I have a picture of hell from later in the trip.

And if I can interject my opinion, I always vote on drawing out the Nebo/degrees of Kevin Bacon TRs. I feel like we are all friends and it's great to get to share and talk to you all.

I knew you'd feel that way!

I know I need to catch up reading the Thumper's TR. It's been so busy. Hopefully the Thumpers know I love them!

Nope. They told me that they feel rejected by you and are very sad and upset.

But you'll always be loved here.

Wait, wait, wait! You know you will be getting, yes, let's use the word despite the risk of psychological trauma as a result of withdrawal, zebra domes, from me. Especially now that we have the ND route figured out. The only limitation we have is getting me back to WDW so I can send them to you and your family. Consider it one of my missions. And there's also the offer of "eat your weight" in zebra domes at Boma dinner someday.

If you will all excuse me for a moment. There's something I need to do before I reply to this post.

<ahem>


zzzzzzzzzzzeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeebbbbbbbbbbbbrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Doooooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmesssssssssssssssss


mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.................


yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm........


zzzzzzzzzzzzzzeeeeeeeeeeeebbbbbbbbbbbbbrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaa doooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmesssssssssss......

ah.

that felt good.

Now where was I? Oh, right.

Here's hoping you get back to WDW soon... well not too soon... it's too hot out right now, I think.

Loving your trip report so far!

Hey! Someone new! Welcome to the nut house Cici! Did you watch The X-Factor last season? There was a Cici on. She did quite well. Made it to the top 10 I believe if memory serves.

I am not sure how I missed the most recent update

Yeah!! What's with that?? Should this not be the most important thing in your life right now?

It seems that any air travel can make or break a vacation You either start off on the right foot with a nice flight there or are more anxious to get there with a horrible flight. Then coming back can either be a breeze or you have a terrible flight and end up more excited to come home

True.

Oh, excuse me... You youngsters these days prefer, "true dat"

or is that already passé?

I can't wait to hear about Paris!

Me too! I hear good things about it...

ummm... oh, you want to hear it from me...

 

[Thumper_Man's Wife]

Who knew it was so hard to get to Paris?

Why do you think we haven’t gone? Besides the whole money issue and having no passports, and all…

Anyone interested in getting this TR headed out the front door?

Oooh! Me me me!!!!

<cricket> <cricket> <cricket>

Echo Echo Echo

Oh, wait! There's someone waaaaaay in the back waving!
Someone wants to read this TR!
Somebody out there is interested!
Somebo....

What? I’m short…

oh.

Hi mom.

Oh…Guess I’m shorter than I thought.

Oh what the heck. I'll write about it anyway. At least my mom will be happy.

What am I? Chopped liver?

Then again, she was a teacher and principal for all her working life, so maybe she just wants to correct my grammer.

grammar.


(Thanks mom.... boy, that was quick!!)

See that’s what you get for ignoring the rest of us!

So we're over at my folks for dinner a few days before the trip and Mom asks how we're getting to the airport.

"Oh, I'm just gonna call a cab."

What are you going to call it?

"Well, what time is your flight? Dad could drive you."

"It's pretty early. Flight's at 8:30am and it's an international flight so we probably have to be at the airport at 6:30, which means we have to leave the house at 6am."

"Your father's always up that early, he can drive you. It's not a problem."

Love when mothers just lay the ground work for everything.

At no time did my father chime in as to whether or not he wanted to do this.

This is the way wives are.
Pretty sure it's universal

He doesn’t have to. Mom already did it for him. He now is obligated under rule # 3,423 – When children are in need, and you are too slow on the draw to speak up about helping, the wife/mother will speak for you, giving you the option to #1 go along with the plan the wife/mother has laid out, or #2, speak up regarding not wanting to go with said plan and face the wrath of wife/mother later when no one is watching. (See rule # 1 – Wife/mother is always right).

At any rate, Dad will be picking us up at 6am.
Now, I know my dad and I'm sure of two things.

1. He really is happy to do it. and;
2. He will be early. Anywhere from 15 - 30 minutes early. I don't care, I'm not going to be rushed! Nope. I said 6am and darn it, 6am it will be!

Until 5am rolls around and you are rushing knowing full well that dad will be there in 45 minutes and will be ready to roll with or without you in the vehicle.

August 2nd. Bright and early....

I can't speak for the rest of the fam damily, but I for one wasn't 'bright'..

Well now we have an idea of what Ponzi looks like in the morning…

We start getting ready to go and I'm doing last minute checks.

Clothes…check
Belt…Check (T-Man always forgets this, we may need to start adding it to the checklist no matter where we go)
Toothbrush…Check
Comb/Brush/Hair gel/Hairspray…Check
Comfy shoes for walking…check
Uncomfortable shoes for walking when I forget the other comfy shoes in one of the other hotels…Check
Paperwork for reservations/flights/maps/etc…Check
T-Man and Lady H…T-Man and Lady H…T-Ma…Hey…How’d that get on my checklist…

Worth a shot right?!?!

"Hey, Ruby. I didn't bother to try checking in for our flights 'cause it's an international flight with a connection... but what the heck. I'll give it a try."

Worse that can happen is it tells you you have to check in in person, right?

That’s my philosophy – The worst that can happen, is it doesn’t happen right?

So I pop on the computer and log into the AirCanada website.... find the reservation number.... hmmm... need the passports. Got 'em right here...

See…I had already forgotten the passports. I would have been halfway to the airport before thinking about them, and then panicking until finding them in my carryon.

Right now, you're fearing the worst, aren't you?
You think that the flight's been cancelled, or I somehow manage to cancel our reservation or there isn't one, or something, right?

Well…this is the Pkondz family vacation after all…

Well, everything went just fine and I got us checked in and the boarding passes printed.

Well that was anti-climactic

Easy peasey.

However.......

Dun Dun Dun…

One last check of the flight times....

What?


Our flight leaves at 7:50am not 8:30??

Whoops!

Yes, I think that would qualify for a Whoops factor…

That's never happened before.

That’s what they all say…It happens to everyone Ponzi, it’s OK…

I guess I got 8:30 stuck in the ol' noggin and just took it as gospel. Oh, well.

Now the question is…Where did 8:30 come from, and why was it stuck in that ol’ noggin of yours?!?!

Sure enough, Dad shows up about quarter to six and we start stuffing suitcases and people into the van.

Like clockwork!

The adventure starts.

Cue Indiana Jones Music

This is the most dangerous part of the trip.

What, Indiana Jones not adventurous enough for a dangerous trip? Ok… fine….Here…
Adventurous Music

No, no, no. Not the plane ride, silly. My dad driving us to the airport!

Dad's in his early 80s now. And he never was big on those little niggly details of driving; like using mirrors, turn signals or doing shoulder checks. He likes to look around while he drives too. If that means occasionally drifting into someone else's lane... well... He's paid taxes for 60 years so he basically owns the road, right? What do you think you're doing, driving near his turf, anyway?

Sounds like my uncle. He’s getting up in age, and even in his younger days, was never much of a “fly by the seat of your pants” kind of guy. Always took time to smell the roses so to speak. So as he got older, he got slower. Then of course he had a near death experience, and then slowly lost some of his hearing in one ear, now has lost sight in one eye completely and somehow still manages to come back from the DMV with a renewed license. Well it is Nevada after all.

However, when we used to stay with him on trips out to Vegas, he used to pick us up and drive us back to the airport and he dispises driving on the freeway because everyone is going 80 mph on the slow lane, and he is in the fastlane doing 40…My poor cousin (his son) would be pulling out his hair on the drive to and from, begging his dad to let him drive. All the while, my Uncle would notice random things, or point out random things to us (that we had seen a thousand times when we went to visit every year) as it they were brand new, and as he points, he veers in that general direction. Horns from other drivers are blaring away, and he just looks at them and waves and laughs.

The best part is when he cuts everyone off to power merge into the far right lane to take the exit off the freeway, Continuing to wave to everyone who is honking at him.

I’m pretty sure there were permanent indentations of grip marks and hand prints all over that car from us passengers who grabbed onto anything we could during these fun trips.

We start off down the road and within two minutes, Dad's already managed to get one wheel up onto the curb as he drives along and looks around.

He has to remember where he is, in order to get back. Trying to memorize landmarks!

away[/I] from pile ups... but he's seldom caught up in them.

We line up for the obligatory cattle branding and Ruby mentions that I should take off my belt.
"Nope. I've done this before and the belt doesn't set off the bells and whistles."

Nope…the whistles come after you take off your belt and are now showing everyone another side to Ponzi!

We find our gate and settle in until they start boarding.
A short while later, the PA comes to life and they announce the familiar spiel:
"This is a pre-boarding call for Air Canada flight 260 to Toronto, all first class, business class, elite class, business elite class, elite first class, star alliance, pretentious, entitled, self-aggrandizing and ego inflated passengers may now board and look down your noses at everyone else that's staring at you with envy and lust.

You forgot auspicious, narcissistic and egocentric, but I’ll let it pass.

I'm not making that up.

Well, okay. the part about "elite first class", I made that up.
But the rest is 'spot on'.

Said the boy who cried wolf! How will I ever believe you again?!

We have two major carriers in Canada with Air Canada being the largest of the two. WestJet is the other one. And is a much, much, MUCH more fun airline to fly with. One time when I was flying with them, after Air Canada had made their pre-boarding announcement, our WestJet gate attendant made a similar announcement. It went something like this:
"This is a pre-boarding call for WestJet flight 123 to Ottawa, anyone with a credit card, or a club membership card or a library card or any type of card at all may board at this time."

They actually made us show them a card before they'd let us on!

That could have been interesting and fun.

Once all the rich folk were aboard the section of the plane that would be destroyed first in the event of a crash they then boarded anyone with small children or people requiring more time to board.

As long as lightening doesn’t hit the tail end first where all the poor folk are…

I mean…er…Yeah…Never thought about how the rich snobby folks get to possibly die first in the event of a crash. Always look on the bright side of life…

I looked at Ruby, we both looked at 12 year old Kay and we sadly shook our heads. Maybe we could adopt?
Or borrow someone's kid?

Sure…I don’t see why not. I can see it now.

Ponzi meanders…(sorry, I mean, sashays)… over to a family of 5 at the next waiting area

“Excuse me sir and ma’am, My wife and I were noticing that you had 5 children with you, and you look like an adorable family. We were just wondering if you wouldn’t mind, sharing on of your younger ones with us so we could get on the plane a little sooner than the other poor unfortunate souls who have to wait. We would only need him or her for a short time. This plane is only headed to Toronto, so you could pick him up there on your way to wherever you may be going. I’m sure the pilot wouldn’t mind a pit stop anyway. What do you say?”

The flight to Toronto is uneventful... except for one little thing. I hadn't seen Ironman3 yet, and was pleased to see it offered as one of the inflight entertainment options. I watched 3/4 of it and was going to watch the rest on the next flight... but it wasn't offered on the overseas leg.

That sucks. Just as you get the chance to watch it, and then you can’t watch to see what happens in the end. And that’s the good part!

We arrive in Toronto a little over two hours later.

We now have an eight and a half hour lay-over.

Good gracious!

So what do you do? Well guess what? I have a sister that lives in Toronto! I hardly ever get to see her. She comes to Winnipeg every Christmas (hasn't missed one... ever) and also comes once during the summer... usually end of July/beginning of August...

Yep. She's in Winnipeg, while we're in Toronto!

There's a large mall close to the airport, so we decide to hang out there.

See, this is something I would never think to do, mainly because of Checkpoint Charlie. I refuse to have to be scanned any more than what is necessary. And once to me is unnecessary…

We walk out to look for a cab and a limo driver asks if we'd like a lift.
Hmmmm.... go in style?
"How much?"
"$45."
"How much would a cab be?"
"About the same. Maybe two or three bucks less."

$45 isn’t bad actually for a limo. Sounds like a flat rate too. As opposed to the cabbies who like to go the long route to make it more expensive.

Uh, huh. Sure.
We take the cab.

$45 just to go around the airport.

Not gonna happen!

The cab costs $41.... $43 after tip.

See, and you could have had that same sad expression but in luxury!

He gives me a card with the company number and tells me to call about half an hour before we want to leave for the airport. At least the return trip is solved.

I was going to say, I bet it wasn’t…but I’ve learned already on this TR, if you say the words bet in any sentence, the jury is seated before you can finish. At least I know I have a good lawyer in T-Man…although he is unlicensed…He is an Aries and will argue until someone folds or places him in contempt.

At the mall, we engage in that time worn and tested activity that most girls love.

shopping.

Huh? Someone say shopping? Where?

Or as I prefer to call it.

Hell.

Just do what Brad Paisley and Andy Griffith do in that situation, Find a bench and wait on the woman.

Oh, well. Beats sitting on my duff at the airport for 8 1/2 hours.

barely.

I would have been curled up in a corner somewhere with my kindle, watching a movie or sleeping. But…shopping works just as well.

Kaitlyn mentions that she doesn't really have walking shoes (what?!?!?... oh... yeah... she did mention that once a month or so ago),

Poor thing…but I do have to say that while I feel for her, having to wait until she is actually on vacation in order to get the shoes, she could have just constantly badgered you over and over again for a month and got them a day or so earlier…

whatever... they look happy, though, don't they?

Happy and Beautiful. You are going to have a heck of a time once they start dating Ponzi…

We did see a Disney store, though. Does that qualify as an excuse to put this over on the trip report board?

Sure…I will say it qualifies…

What? No, we didn't go in.

Oops…nope, sorry, I retract the above statement, unless you stepped foot in said Disney store, it does not qualify. But since it is you, and we have already been waiting as patiently as can be…I’ll let it slide.

Eventually, the ladies are shopped out and it's time to return to the airport.

Shopped out? Is there such a thing?

Just gotta call the cab company and we'll be on our way. I need to find a payphone, or borrow a phone so I can make the call. We left our cell phones in Winnipeg since they won't work in Europe.

A payphone? Do those exist anywhere? I think I saw one in a seedy part of Albuquerque the other day on my walk, hunkered to the side of a gas station building. Whether it works is a completely different story.

I get the family settled by an exit, take note of where it is and what it's near so I can tell the cab company and set out to find a phone.

Check…Ponzi left his family of women all by themselves in some random spot outside the mall, with no phone, and no way of alerting him if anyone tries to mug them or kidnap them.

I can't find a freaking phone!!
Geez! Not everyone has a cell phone, ya know!

Right, Smidgy?

Smidgy has a cell phone…just not a $1,000 phone that can do everything but tie your shoes for you kind of phone…

Why I didn't just ask her to borrow their phone, I'll never know.

Well that answers that question.

Oh, wait! I do know!

Cause I'm stupid!

Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

Ok…THAT answers that question.

"There's a payphone over by ______ store. Do you know where that is?"
"No."
"Continue down this hall for another six or seven miles, take a right at the intersection then walk another eighteen or twenty miles and you'll see them. If you see water, don't turn, it's just a mirage."

Now the real question is, Why didn’t the customer service people, service their customer by allowing them to use their phone to call the cab company?!?!?!

Because they are Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

Four hours later, I find the payphones.
There's two of them.
A lady is using one of them.

I was hoping you weren’t going to say that you found them right next to where you left your girls!

This is my lucky day! There's one free!! Yippee!!

Why yes officer, I was using sarcasm there, thank you for asking.

Ponzi said, as he was arrested for being Stupid!

I start the long trek back to my happy, rested family.

I hope they are still there…

I think I saw the remains of a dead camel half buried in the sand as I trekked back.

"Okay everyone! Get on your feet!"
"Is the cab here?" Ruby asks.

Oh, I remember when I was trusting like that. Now I just can't get over the fact of how knave I was.

Naïve! (my mom's quick, I tell ya.)

See this is what happens when you turn Stupid!

And obviously Ruby isn’t trusting if she is asking you instead of just trusting that it’s there when you tell them to get up.

"Nope. No cab. I've got something even better! A trip through the mall to customer service!"

Whoo Hoo!

At customer service I ask where the "taxi line" is.

"Go down this hall for 47 miles until you come to Target. Go in Target and stay to your right until you see the Exit. You'll see the taxi line when you go out."

If you pass by the remains of a camel you’ve gone too far!

I don't remember how much it was, but I do remember that it was a few dollars less then the trip from the airport.

Could have had a limo…Just sayin’

We march up to security with boarding passes and passports in hand and the security wench asks me if I'd like to remove my belt.

I've played this record before.

"Nope. It doesn't set off the alarm."

I then march through the detector to a loud welcoming alarm.
Of course all the agents are looking at me as if to say, "Why couldn't you just take off the darn belt?"

Ok…everyone together…Because you’re Stupid!

Just kidding…You know I love you Ponz!

After the always enjoyable body rub with surprise happy ending, I collect the rest of the red faced, embarrassed family and we head off to find our gate.
Quickly

At least you got something out of the whole fiasco. I didn’t say it was something you wanted…Although I’m sure your wife and girls got a good show.

Before they decide that a cavity search might be a better use of their time.

Cover your eyes!

As we wait to board our flight, I look outside... and it's POURING rain out there. I can just make out the sound of thunder.

"Daddy? Can planes fly in the rain?"
"Yes they can, but all planes will avoid thunderstorms because the turbulence can be really bad."

Well, look who ain’t stupid no more!

The flight's a long one.

Well hello! You are going to Paris! It’s a little further away that Montana! Maybe I was too quick to judge on that , you ain’t stupid, remark…

The kids get their first taste of airline food, which goes about as well as you'd expect.

They hate it.

Never been on a plane long enough to have airline food. But I have parents who have both been in the military, and have had my taste of MRE’s, if it’s any better than that…It will do. I have also tasted my own cooking…I’m still alive…

Ironman3 is not offered as part of the inflight entertainment.

Of course not. This is your punishment for being stupid in the mall.

I encourage the kids to get some sleep, since there's still a long time ahead of us before we see a bed.

I know that Elle managed to sleep.
I know that Kay did not... which was a source of some amusement later on.
I know Ruby did.
I know I didn't.

Intrigued to read about Kay and the source of amusement…

I tried. I really did.

I turned off the TV.
I wore noise cancelling headphones.
I used a neck pillow... No! A deluxe neck pillow.


All to no avail. Ah well, I'll sleep eventually.

It takes a lot for me to sleep on planes. I have RLS, which tends to make being comfortable in a small space difficult as it is, and not being able to spread out makes it almost impossible for me unless I have a little help.

We land at last.

We're in Paris!!!


And that's where I'm going to leave the Ponzi family for now. Stranded at the airport until the next chapter.

Well at least we know you made it.

Great chapter Ponz! Can’t wait to read more!!!

 

[Thumper_Man's Wife]

Nobody ever foresaw a time when every freaking one had a portable phone...

Now I foresee a time when everyone has at least two! "Don't be caught without a phone! New Backup Buddy is just the thing for when your regular phone dies! Never be unconnected again! Never have to worry about the awkwardness of speaking to somebody face to face! Yuck! Who wants that? So play it safe! Get Backup Buddy today! Be extra safe and for a limited time, buy one get one half off!!!

Unfortunately I am one of those who has two with her at all times. True, one of those is for work, but still...

He does seem a little bit cabin feverish...

Yeah, I'm getting him out of the house this weekend. Granted its for a memorial service for a friend of ours...but it's in a different city...does that count?

Love that smiley!

Would you guess that smiley is called Brain Fog?!?!

Feel free, but perfection is hard to improve upon.

I've done my best...

My, I'm feeling just a bit full of myself today, aren't I? (c'mon... I left the door wiiiiide open here. All ya gotta do is walk through it.)

Nope...Not touching that one!

Nope. They told me that they feel rejected by you and are very sad and upset.

But you'll always be loved here.

I think Carol Kane said it best in my favorite movie, The Princess Bride...Liar!

We said no such thing...You know your skating on thin ice regarding those ZD's there buddy. I was about to tell you that even though T-Man may not be willing to share, I was willing to have a private meeting to sneak you some...but you know...

As for Buzz...We understand completely. I'm sure you have your hands full with Buzzette! But you have been missed!

If you will all excuse me for a moment. There's something I need to do before I reply to this post.

<ahem>


zzzzzzzzzzzeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeebbbbbbbbbbbbrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Doooooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmesssssssssssssssss


mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.................


yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm........


zzzzzzzzzzzzzzeeeeeeeeeeeebbbbbbbbbbbbbrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaa doooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmesssssssssss......

ah.

that felt good.

Now where was I? Oh, right.

When you've quite finished!

 

[Backstage_Gal]

Huh? Someone say shopping? Where?

I think I must be the 1 in a million women who HATE shopping, sigh....

That a was an awesome breakdown, T-Man's Wife, BRAVO!!

 

[pkondz]

Why do you think we haven’t gone? Besides the whole money issue and having no passports, and all…

It's a rhetorical question.
I for one had no idea it was gonna be that hard!


Oh.

You were just having fun at my expense....

How cruel.

Cruel and heartless.


But not to worry, you can make it up to me by, how shall I say this (without descending into paroxysms of extasy), purchasing dome like confections from either Boma or Mara.

<phew!>

Echo Echo Echo

hmmm... I clicked it and got "Page cannot be displayed"

What? I’m short…

That's okay. I can loan you some cash 'til payday.

What am I? Chopped liver?

Well foie gras (basically, chopped liver) retails for about $50/lb....

So, sure.


I would never consider you cheap...
A little short right now, but certainly not cheap.

"Oh, I'm just gonna call a cab."

What are you going to call it?

Expensive.

He doesn’t have to. Mom already did it for him. He now is obligated under rule # 3,423 – When children are in need, and you are too slow on the draw to speak up about helping, the wife/mother will speak for you, giving you the option to #1 go along with the plan the wife/mother has laid out, or #2, speak up regarding not wanting to go with said plan and face the wrath of wife/mother later when no one is watching. (See rule # 1 – Wife/mother is always right).

I know those rules!

It's never good when I forget them...

Well now we have an idea of what Ponzi looks like in the morning…

What can I say? That's pretty accurate.

Clothes…check
Belt…Check (T-Man always forgets this, we may need to start adding it to the checklist no matter where we go)
Toothbrush…Check
Comb/Brush/Hair gel/Hairspray…Check
Comfy shoes for walking…check
Uncomfortable shoes for walking when I forget the other comfy shoes in one of the other hotels…Check

Don't get me started on the shoes!!

Oh, you'll see.

Paperwork for reservations/flights/maps/etc…Check
T-Man and Lady H…T-Man and Lady H…T-Ma…Hey…How’d that get on my checklist…

Worth a shot right?!?!

I don't understand, "Worth a shot."

That pretty much was on my list, but when I opened the front door to make sure you guys were there.... nothing!

I waited for a bit, but eventually we had to get going.

See…I had already forgotten the passports. I would have been halfway to the airport before thinking about them, and then panicking until finding them in my carryon.

Something like that did happen on the trip, later on.

Well that was anti-climactic

I have something to say here.... but it's a family board, so... no.

That’s what they all say…It happens to everyone Ponzi, it’s OK…

Well it's never happened to me!

Now the question is…Where did 8:30 come from, and why was it stuck in that ol’ noggin of yours?!?!

I have no idea! And usually I'm like, "Only 73 hours and 15 minutes until our flight!"

Cue Indiana Jones Music

I think I've heard that music somewhere... not sure where 'tho.

What, Indiana Jones not adventurous enough for a dangerous trip? Ok… fine….Here…
Adventurous Music

oooohhhh... now I wanna go slay a dragon!

Ruby, why are you looking at me like that? I didn't mean you... No really! I didn't! I never... ow! ouch! stop! ow! ow! cut it ouch!



sorry.

The best part is when he cuts everyone off to power merge into the far right lane to take the exit off the freeway, Continuing to wave to everyone who is honking at him.

See, my dad wouldn't be aware of the tangled wreckage he'd leave in his wake.... so no waving.


No! Wait! That's not quite right.

If the other drivers beep at him, he'd wave...

Well he'd wave with one finger at least. :

Nope…the whistles come after you take off your belt and are now showing everyone another side to Ponzi!

And applause. Don't forget the applause of adulation.

Hey! I'm not making this up people!

You forgot auspicious, narcissistic and egocentric, but I’ll let it pass.

Welll.... yes and no.

While you are correct, I did forget.... but they weren't included on that leg of the flight....

On the way back, however....

Said the boy who cried wolf! How will I ever believe you again?!

I have never spoken an un-truthful fictional fabrication in my life!

As long as lightening doesn’t hit the tail end first where all the poor folk are…

Not a problem. Planes are hit by lightning fairly regularly.
Statistically, however, the back of the plane is the safest place to sit.

Ponzi meanders…(sorry, I mean, sashays)…

thank you

over to a family of 5 at the next waiting area

“Excuse me sir and ma’am, My wife and I were noticing that you had 5 children with you, and you look like an adorable family. We were just wondering if you wouldn’t mind, sharing on of your younger ones with us so we could get on the plane a little sooner than the other poor unfortunate souls who have to wait. We would only need him or her for a short time. This plane is only headed to Toronto, so you could pick him up there on your way to wherever you may be going. I’m sure the pilot wouldn’t mind a pit stop anyway. What do you say?”

You forgot the part where I start with, "Buzz! What are you doing here?"

That sucks. Just as you get the chance to watch it, and then you can’t watch to see what happens in the end. And that’s the good part!

The Ironman 3 saga is not over...

See, this is something I would never think to do, mainly because of Checkpoint Charlie. I refuse to have to be scanned any more than what is necessary. And once to me is unnecessary…

Lesser of two weevils

$45 isn’t bad actually for a limo. Sounds like a flat rate too. As opposed to the cabbies who like to go the long route to make it more expensive.

In hindsight, yes. But at the time, I guessed the cab ride 'just around the corner' would only cost $15-$20. I was sure the limo driver was exaggerating in order to get the fare.

I was going to say, I bet it wasn’t…but I’ve learned already on this TR, if you say the words bet in any sentence, the jury is seated before you can finish.

I have no idea to what you are referring... :

He is an Aries and will argue until someone folds or places him in contempt.

Yep... that would explain it alright.

Now that is a frightening smiley!!

Just do what Brad Paisley and Andy Griffith do in that situation, Find a bench and wait on the woman.

I could'a done that at the airport!!!!!

I would have been curled up in a corner somewhere with my kindle, watching a movie or sleeping. But…shopping works just as well.

Ah. You've hit upon our dilemma.

We were wondering what to do for the aprox. 6 hours (we wanted to be early for the connection, so we don't have the full 8.5 hours to be elsewhere) of time we had to kill.
We talked about seeing a movie... but then we thought, "We're going to be sitting for the next 8 hours or so... do we really want to sit for more???"

Hence. Shopping.

A zoo would've been nice, but that's a lot farther.
There was a park nearby... but let's face it. 6 hours to wander around a small park?

nope.

Poor thing…but I do have to say that while I feel for her, having to wait until she is actually on vacation in order to get the shoes, she could have just constantly badgered you over and over again for a month and got them a day or so earlier…

Maybe... but I definitely failed on this one.

Happy and Beautiful. You are going to have a heck of a time once they start dating Ponzi…

Oh, Gawd! I know! I know!

Shopped out? Is there such a thing?

Apparently, for some, yes.

A payphone? Do those exist anywhere? I think I saw one in a seedy part of Albuquerque the other day on my walk, hunkered to the side of a gas station building. Whether it works is a completely different story.

Extinct:
Dodo birds
Moas
Wooly Mammoth
Passenger Pigeon

Nearly Extinct:
Siberian Tiger
Giant Panda
Payphones
People still reading this TR

Check…Ponzi left his family of women all by themselves in some random spot outside the mall, with no phone, and no way of alerting him if anyone tries to mug them or kidnap them.

Didn't work, though.


ow! ouch! ow! stop that!!! ow!

Smidgy has a cell phone…just not a $1,000 phone that can do everything but tie your shoes for you kind of phone…

But is it charged?

Now the real question is, Why didn’t the customer service people, service their customer by allowing them to use their phone to call the cab company?!?!?!

'cause I was too stupid to tell them a) that I needed a phone or b) what I really needed was a cab.

For all they knew, I told someone I'd meet them by the payphones.
Just a thought.

I was hoping you weren’t going to say that you found them right next to where you left your girls!

Could have had a limo…Just sayin’

I know! I know!!

Ok…everyone together…Because you’re Stupid!

Just kidding…You know I love you Ponz!

Yes... I know.

Does Mike, know? I won't tell him if you don't.

Well hello! You are going to Paris! It’s a little further away that Montana! Maybe I was too quick to judge on that , you ain’t stupid, remark…

Yeah... but only 3 times as far.

Never been on a plane long enough to have airline food. But I have parents who have both been in the military, and have had my taste of MRE’s, if it’s any better than that…It will do.

I've heard that there's nothing worse then MREs

I have also tasted my own cooking…I’m still alive…

Remind me to decline any dinner invites!

Intrigued to read about Kay and the source of amusement…

Don't get too worked up. It's really just an anecdote.

Great chapter Ponz! Can’t wait to read more!!!

Thanks Heather... and Holy Cow! You went to a lot of work to break down that chapter! It was great!!

 

[pkondz]

Unfortunately I am one of those who has two with her at all times. True, one of those is for work, but still...

Behold! The future is upon us!


Is this a good thing????

Yeah, I'm getting him out of the house this weekend. Granted its for a memorial service for a friend of ours...but it's in a different city...does that count?

Nope. Again, sorry to hear about your loss.

I've done my best...

And it was pretty darned good!

I think Carol Kane said it best in my favorite movie, The Princess Bride...Liar!

Hmmmm..... I think you're trying to say something here... but I'm not quite sure what it could be.

We said no such thing...You know your skating on thin ice regarding those ZD's there buddy. I was about to tell you that even though T-Man may not be willing to share, I was willing to have a private meeting to sneak you some...but you know...

Oh, CARP!!! I've done it again!!!!

I better not tick off DeeDee or I'll be bereft of little portions of heaven.

Heavens!

When you've quite finished!

Again... Not sure of the message here. Very, verrrrry subtle.

I think I must be the 1 in a million women who HATE shopping, sigh....

Nope. Elle isn't a fan either.

That a was an awesome breakdown, T-Man's Wife, BRAVO!!

Wasn't it? Colour me amazed and awed!