Please be kind in your responses

[FlightlessDuck]

I did it for the lulz! *jazz hands*

 

[DisneyChula]

Why thank you.

Since I was born without a conscience of my own it is always helpful when somebody else comes along and gives out yet another "Everything I Need To Know I Learned in Kindergarten!" lecture.

Exactly! I love when people feel the need to sit everyone down and lecture them about the correct (their) way of responding to others. Are there people here who are often nasty? Absolutely. There are also people who are offended at the slightest hint of disagreement or suggestion. That's what happens when you have a bunch of personality types discussing a number of hot topics.

I find posts like this just as obnoxious as the nasty ones.

Oh, and I would hate for my post to be construed as rude so here's some pixie dust for good measure:

 

[ashley0139]

And you're also setting yourself up for a lot of responses along the line of (as my great-grandfather used to say), "who made you king?"

I personally enjoy the snarky responses. It would make for a pretty boring discussion board if everyone were nice and supportive 100% of the time. Should I post a thread asking people to be more sarcastic? Hmmm...

 

[WDSearcher]

This is why I think twice before starting a thread asking for opinions.
But really, do people have to be downright mean?

Yes, actually, some people do have to be downright mean. Some people have no filter, some don't realize how they're coming across, some just don't know how to temper a response to provide an opinion without an attitude. And some people come here to be downright mean because they can. It's anonymous and they see it as fun and entertaining.

In fact, it's exactly the same as in real life! Some people are nice, some are neutral, some are nasty. Welcome to humanity.

If you would never in a million years walk into a roomful of strangers and ask for opinions on a personal matter, then don't do it here. If you DO decide to wander into this cyber-roomful of total strangers and ask for opinions, realize that you're going to end up with some constructive and well thought-out responses, some annoying "more questions than answers" types of responses, and some downright nasty "how much fun can I have with this person" responses. It's up to you as the asker to filter out the ones that are helpful and ignore the ones who are trying to get a rise out of you. There is no place on earth -- from a therapist's office to your family dinner table to the home of your most beloved friend -- where you will ALWAYS get 100% support and understanding and NEVER get anything you perceive as inappropriate or rude. And if you're not going to get automatic support from people who know and love you, you're sure as heck not going to get it from a bunch of strangers.

On the flip side, though? A place like the DIS is absolutely perfect when you want no-holds-barred honest responses and you're willing to provide enough information to get everyone to understand what it is you're trying to resolve. IMO, the people who most often end up with an avalanche of negative responses are those who forget that (a) every story has more than just their side; and (b) the only information we have to work with is what we're given.

 

[NC Disney Fan]

Exactly! I love when people feel the need to sit everyone down and lecture them about the correct (their) way of responding to others. Are there people here who are often nasty? Absolutely. There are also people who are offended at the slightest hint of disagreement or suggestion. That's what happens when you have a bunch of personality types discussing a number of hot topics.

I find posts like this just as obnoxious as the nasty ones.

Oh, and I would hate for my post to be construed as rude so here's some pixie dust for good measure:

Wow, I am out of here. I was not lecturing nor trying to teach anyone. But thank you all for showing just what I was talking about. Civility is a lost art. I am neither offended nor too sensitive but you have proven that what I said was true. Whether to this response or that to "which restaurant should I go to in MK" I am sure that many people will show that they have the inability to respond in a manner befitting that of a helpful response or even one of a differing opinion done with humility. I suppose I will think twice about ever posting again for fear of being torn a new one. Thanks for the eye opener.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Yes, actually, some people do have to be downright mean. Some people have no filter, some don't realize how they're coming across, some just don't know how to temper a response to provide an opinion without an attitude. And some people come here to be downright mean because they can. It's anonymous and they see it as fun and entertaining.

In fact, it's exactly the same as in real life! Some people are nice, some are neutral, some are nasty. Welcome to humanity.

If you would never in a million years walk into a roomful of strangers and ask for opinions on a personal matter, then don't do it here. If you DO decide to wander into this cyber-roomful of total strangers and ask for opinions, realize that you're going to end up with some constructive and well thought-out responses, some annoying "more questions than answers" types of responses, and some downright nasty "how much fun can I have with this person" responses. It's up to you as the asker to filter out the ones that are helpful and ignore the ones who are trying to get a rise out of you. There is no place on earth -- from a therapist's office to your family dinner table to the home of your most beloved friend -- where you will ALWAYS get 100% support and understanding and NEVER get anything you perceive as inappropriate or rude. And if you're not going to get automatic support from people who know and love you, you're sure as heck not going to get it from a bunch of strangers.

On the flip side, though? A place like the DIS is absolutely perfect when you want no-holds-barred honest responses and you're willing to provide enough information to get everyone to understand what it is you're trying to resolve. IMO, the people who most often end up with an avalanche of negative responses are those who forget that (a) every story has more than just their side; and (b) the only information we have to work with is what we're given.

or (c) forget that they have already, in the last 2 months, posted 6 other things that totally contradict what they are now saying.

 

[WDSearcher]

I did it for the lulz! *jazz hands*

'ceptin' that you spelled "the" wrong in yer poster there ... which kind of takes away from the instant recognition of it all ...

 

[Metsfan520]

Ironically, 90% of the truly rude and abrasive posts I see on the DIS are by OPs getting angry and defensive when they ask for advice or opinions and then don't like what the see and lash out. Usually those posts involve calling perfectly reasonable and polite posts "rude" or "mean" or even "bullying" for no other reason than someone has an opinion the OP dislikes.

I love the discussions and variety of view points on the DIS and hope that it never turns into a place where people are afraid to disagree for fear of being seen as unpleasant. Sometimes the truth as others see it is unpleasant--but that is part of having multiple view points.

Wow, I am out of here. I was not lecturing nor trying to teach anyone. But thank you all for showing just what I was talking about. Civility is a lost art. I am neither offended nor too sensitive but you have proven that what I said was true. Whether to this response or that to "which restaurant should I go to in MK" I am sure that many people will show that they have the inability to respond in a manner befitting that of a helpful response or even one of a differing opinion done with humility. I suppose I will think twice about ever posting again for fear of being torn a new one. Thanks for the eye opener.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

'ceptin' that you spelled "the" wrong in yer poster there ... which kind of takes away from the instant recognition of it all ...

Yeah, well, I was going with spoken vs. written. Also, you also have to sing it, which you don't really get very well through text.

 

[WDSearcher]

Wow, I am out of here. I was not lecturing nor trying to teach anyone. But thank you all for showing just what I was talking about. Civility is a lost art. I am neither offended nor too sensitive but you have proven that what I said was true. Whether to this response or that to "which restaurant should I go to in MK" I am sure that many people will show that they have the inability to respond in a manner befitting that of a helpful response or even one of a differing opinion done with humility. I suppose I will think twice about ever posting again for fear of being torn a new one. Thanks for the eye opener.

I know you say you're out of here, but most people who say that do tend to come back out of curiosity if nothing else, so I'll take a chance and ask the question.

When you posted your original post, what kind of responses were you expecting? Did you think that everyone was going to say, "OMG -- you are so right -- I never thought of that. Thank you!" as if all everyone needed was your comments to make the lightbulb go off? I have to think that, on some level, you knew -- or at least anticipated -- that there would be some dissent and that you'd get some negativity. I mean ... what did you think was going to happen?

And to say that you weren't "lecturing nor trying to teach" rings a bit false, since you ended your post with:

Be kind, be helpful and if you can't be, don't respond.

Which would, even to a young child who had never been on a bulletin board in their life, be seen as a lesson or instruction on "how to behave".

 

[DisneyChula]

Wow, I am out of here. I was not lecturing nor trying to teach anyone. But thank you all for showing just what I was talking about. Civility is a lost art. I am neither offended nor too sensitive but you have proven that what I said was true. Whether to this response or that to "which restaurant should I go to in MK" I am sure that many people will show that they have the inability to respond in a manner befitting that of a helpful response or even one of a differing opinion done with humility. I suppose I will think twice about ever posting again for fear of being torn a new one. Thanks for the eye opener.

"Be kind, be helpful and if you can't be, don't respond."

I don't take kindly to being told how I should respond on a discussion board by anyone other than the moderators and owners of that board. If they have an issue with the types of responses given by any poster, then they will address it as they see fit.

You started a thread to complain about how mean some posters are and tell those meanies to either post nothing but nice things or don't post at all. I interpreted your post as you lecturing. See, what you interpret as snarky, I may as interpret as funny and what you interpret as helpful, I may interpret as lecturing. Just as I proved (to you) that people can't help but be nasty, you proved to me that some people are offended by any sort of disagreement or differing opinion.

 

[rigs32]

Me thinks the OP was baiting folks to prove her point.

 

[DisneyChula]

Me thinks the OP was baiting folks to prove her point.

Oh - I figured that when I responded so I had a little fun with it. So can I have a badge? I want it to say: Member of the admitted big bad meanie club.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

Me thinks the OP was baiting folks to prove her point.

I find the whole thing very assuming.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Really? If you weren't trying to lecture or teach, what were you trying to do?

 

[ckay87]

I'm going to go ahead and snark away and say that I'm getting pretty sick of all these "tisk tisk tisk" threads ("shame on you people.") This is the internet - yep you sure do get neutral responses. Neutral means honest.... good AND bad. If you want all good, you have to talk to your friends.

This is by FAR the tamest board on the internet. By far!

 

[powellrj]

Here's the thing, if you come on and ask "what restaurant would be a good place to celebrate a birthday" you will get a different response than if you ask which restaurant will give me something for free for a birthday.

If you just want ideas, you will get lots of good ones without much snark, but if you come one here wanting to get freebies, yes you will get lots of responses you don't want to hear. Same with asking about free upgrade.....Just saying its what you are asking that brings out the snark in people.

 

[donalduck]

Ya they don't do a good job.

The site has moderators to deal with issues.

 

[joviroxx]

Its been a few weeks since we've had a "be nice" thread.

 

[CupcakeKelly]

I'm honestly surprised there's not MORE snark to go around. I see so much patience and great answers on tons of threads, where the question could have been easily answered with a simple google search, or just scrolling down the page a little bit. I lurked on here for a long time before I signed up, I like to get a feel for a place before I feel comfortable adding my 2 cents.

These things always come back to what I tell my DH all the time "don't ask the question if you don't want the answer." I have to tell myself that all the time with DD3. The other day I really wanted ice cream, and I asked her if she wants to go get ice cream and she says no.