Please be kind in your responses

Discussion in 'Community Board' started by NC Disney Fan, Jun 19, 2013.

  1. NC Disney Fan

    NC Disney Fan Live long Disney Lover and visitor

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    I have not been a member of the DIS boards for long but, while I have seen some wonderful help, I have also seen a multitude of very SNARKY responses.

    This happened on one of my questions that I posted and it got downright rude as I asked question about upgrades. I have also seen it on a plethora of other posts.

    Please think about the fact that people are on here just asking for guidance. And, of course, there are so many opinions on subjects that we are not all going to agree to the response given. However, this is no reason to get nasty.

    I have been especially horrified when I have seen this on questions from the UK. I can well imagine that this kind of behavior on here just solidifies the bad rep that Americans can have.

    Be kind, be helpful and if you can't be, don't respond. ;)
     
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  3. Allison

    Allison DIS Veteran

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    The site has moderators to deal with issues.
     
  4. mickeyboat

    mickeyboat <font color=660099>Nothing like the cream and choc

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    Yes, there is a lot of snark on these boards. And there are many posters who like to argue just for the sake of argument.

    However, sometimes people perceive others as being snarky, when they are really only disagreeing. If you post looking for advice or guidance, you can't expect everyone to agree with you and pat you on the back. There will be disagreement among such a large membership, and we have to learn to accept the good with the bad.

    I have come to realize that I am not one who can handle those here who might disagree with me on something of a personal nature, so I have all but stopped posting threads asking for advice.
     
  5. Planogirl

    Planogirl I feel the nerd in me stirring

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    Unless you join a small private forum I think that you'll find rude people everywhere. If you look closely though you'll see that most people are nice or at the very least might just have a weird sense of humor. Those actual rude people just stand out way too much.
     
  6. happily single

    happily single <font color=royalblue>Left foot first!<br><font co

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    I agree with the OP. So many times I have an "issue" that I would appreciate neutral advice on and my first thought is to post on the Community Board, just to get opinions, then I remember how snarky, rude and judgmental people can be.
     
  7. Praying Colonel

    Praying Colonel DIS Veteran

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    Welcome to the Internet. ;)

    I've been on various forums for almost 20 years, and IMHO the DIS is really pretty mild compared to some of the stuff that gets posted out there.

    If you believe a post violates the forum rules, you can always click the exclamation point icon in the bottom left of that post and report it to the mods.
     
  8. NC Disney Fan

    NC Disney Fan Live long Disney Lover and visitor

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    I'd love to think that the snarkiness was just weird senses of humor but it is not so. And I am not even talking about personal issues. I have only been on Disney question posts and still, I see venom. If a person is on here asking a question, they are looking for guidance and even opinions but not nastiness. If people can't handle differing opinions or don't have the couth to respond in a non aggressive or angry manner than they should refrain from even responding. It is not just being too sensitive, it is an example of how our society is and again, reflects badly on so many of us who try our best to be tactful or even, dare I say, kind.

    I'll agree that personal issues do set you up for emotional responses and I am not sure why someone would post this kind of thing on here--go to personal friends and acquaintances if you want a kinder gentler response. But for Disney questions--for goodness sakes, be friendly and helpful!
     
  9. ICF

    ICF DIS Veteran

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    Sometimes the truth hurts and is painful to hear....that doesnt mean that the advice someone gave is mean or unkind.
     
  10. Laura66

    Laura66 DIS Veteran

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    Yes some people are rude - but I'd say the majority of people that get upset by responses are just upset that we don't agree or call them out!
    Sorry - I'm not going to be sweet or agree with someone who thinks its okay to get in line when someone runs for fast passes and cuts in line. (Just an example)
     
  11. Poohforyou

    Poohforyou DIS Veteran

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    Here's the thing though, under the snark and judgement lies really good advice and opinions. Also what a person considers rudeness or judgement sometimes really isn't that at all, but rather just honest truth that a poster doesn't want to face.
     
  12. WDSearcher

    WDSearcher DIS Veteran

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    It's interesting to me that you included this line (bolded, above) in this post, as it could easily be seen as being a slam towards Americans, while implying that non-American's aren't being snarky or rude.

    I imagine you did not intend for it to come off that way, but it's a good example of how easily something that was meant as a helpful comment could be read as a cultural insult. That, along with the word "horrified", makes it seem as though you are taking everything so much more seriously than it warrants. (There are many things in the world that are horrifying ... responses on a message board are pretty far down on the list. IMO)

    As was said upthread, there are mods on the boards to deal with the people who are breaking or abusing board policies. Everyone else is just stating opinions, some more eloquently than others. While there are people who come here to stir the pot and argue for the sake of arguing, they really are the exception and not the rule. When you find someone whose responses or attitude you don't like, simply block them (or ignore them) and move on. Or flag the post and report it to the mods. By writing the kind of post you wrote, you are simply playing into the need of some for attention and drama while at the same time giving them ammunition with which to continue. And you're also setting yourself up for a lot of responses along the line of (as my great-grandfather used to say), "who made you king?"

    :earsboy:
     
  13. Liberty Belle

    Liberty Belle <font color=green>I was going to reply, but I see

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    Exactly. I think people can be rude on here sometimes, sure. And I know you mean well, but you say you haven't been a member long and I also think its rude to go to an established place and then try and tell long standing members how to behave.

    If a moderator thinks someone is being overly rude, they will let them know. Maybe if you continue to come here and post, one day you can be a moderator.
     
  14. Sanchez

    Sanchez DIS Veteran

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    I think it is rude to tell others on this board how to act.

    Some people believe that this is a place to exchange ideas and offer opinions. Some, apparently, think it is a women's support group where any comments short of praise (including multiple exclamation points) are considered hostile. Perhaps if each post ended with "You're such a good mom!!!!" we might avoid some hurt feelings.
     
  15. Allison

    Allison DIS Veteran

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    I have to be honest. I have never understood why people are compelled to post this kind of thing. There are thousands of people on this site. Good or bad, you aren't going to suddenly get people to post in the way you would like and instructing them to not post at all if they don't generally is going to go over like a lead balloon.
     
  16. minnie mum

    minnie mum Unapologetic Disney Fan(atic)

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    Well it seems the last 3 posters have said everything that I wanted to say. Thanks, y'all!::yes::
     
  17. RitaE

    RitaE DIS Veteran

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    Why thank you.

    Since I was born without a conscience of my own it is always helpful when somebody else comes along and gives out yet another "Everything I Need To Know I Learned in Kindergarten!" lecture. :thumbsup2
     
  18. Planogirl

    Planogirl I feel the nerd in me stirring

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    Now you see OP that there is plenty of snark here right now but none of it is illogical. Don't take it personally!
     
  19. Jennasis

    Jennasis DIS life goes on

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    Nevermind. I'm all thumbs.
     
  20. NHdisneylover

    NHdisneylover DIS Veteran

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    Ironically, 90% of the truly rude and abrasive posts I see on the DIS are by OPs getting angry and defensive when they ask for advice or opinions and then don't like what the see and lash out. Usually those posts involve calling perfectly reasonable and polite posts "rude" or "mean" or even "bullying" for no other reason than someone has an opinion the OP dislikes.

    I love the discussions and variety of view points on the DIS and hope that it never turns into a place where people are afraid to disagree for fear of being seen as unpleasant. Sometimes the truth as others see it is unpleasant--but that is part of having multiple view points.
     
  21. njmom47

    njmom47 <font color=blue>He's such a fiend!<br><font color

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    This is why I think twice before starting a thread asking for opinions. :rolleyes2
    But really, do people have to be downright mean?
     

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