lillygator
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2003
I would like to read others take on this situationa as it reallys seems me vs him regarding this issue.
Our DD, 10 used to play softball on a rec team and a travel team. Her travel team disbanded and she took off the fall ball season. Tryouts for spring are this week. DH wants her to play, I don't. Her thoughts - she could really take it or leave it. Not once during the fall did she ask about playing, ask to practice, etc. I think she is telling us both different answers based on what she thinks we want to hear. She is afraid to disappoint her dad and afraid I will get mad if her grades slip - which I would. My Dh says I am "maniuplating" the situation....
She also is not one who gives 110%, doesn't really care for the warm up runs, etc. You see other kids giving their all and she plays and almost seems to be there to chat up her buddies.
Dh says if she doesn't play this spring, it's over (her softball career)??!!
Why don't I want her to play - well, it isn't just her that is being committed to the team, it is me as well. There is a weeknight practice/game and a Saturday practice/game. We have 2 other children ages 7 and 1. My Dh is a retail manager - so his schedule does not allow him to do much of the carting of the children so to speak.
Dh goes in before 6am, which means I have to get all the kids to school, at 8, meaning I can't leave work all that early to do all the pick ups and drop offs in different places. He gets off anywhere from 4:30 - 6 or so depending on what is going on. He works on Saturdays as well.
The weeknight game is only an issue with me as far as the time goes, we wouldn't get home until 9pm and that is just too late for the baby and when she was playing before it was a constant fight to get her to finish her homework on those nights. The field is on the other side of town and takes a good 30 min to get to from our house. During the last season, DH usually handled the weeknight game and I wouldn't even go out to the field. The only time I would go is when Dh had a game the same night and I'd have to go pick her up. Of course she would always throw in, "how come you never come to my games..."
Now, here come Saturday's.....they want you there for an hour prior to the game, the games last an hour and a half and then 30 min to get home.....that's a huge chunk of the day for me and my other to children to have to commit too. Trying to keep a 1 year old entertained that long in a stroller? I've tried coming home in between but it seemed too rushed. There is nothing really in the area for us to "go do" aside from shopping. Plus the wonderful consession duty, which would fall to me too.
Dh offered to take HIS VACATION time to take Saturday's off, which I am like - wow, you'd give up vacation time that we take as a family together to spend time with one child on an extra curricular activity?
If I felt she really loved it, had a passion for it, etc, then I would suck it up and do it, but I don't feel that she does. I also don't think it is fair for my other 2 kids to have sit at the ball park for hours. My other dd constantly mentioned during the last season why her sister got to do an activity and she didn't - but that is another conversation. Also another conversation, but this is a child who does nothing arund the house to help out, etc. I feel that an extra curricular activity should be treated kind of like a reward.
How do you handle things on which you don't agree?
Our DD, 10 used to play softball on a rec team and a travel team. Her travel team disbanded and she took off the fall ball season. Tryouts for spring are this week. DH wants her to play, I don't. Her thoughts - she could really take it or leave it. Not once during the fall did she ask about playing, ask to practice, etc. I think she is telling us both different answers based on what she thinks we want to hear. She is afraid to disappoint her dad and afraid I will get mad if her grades slip - which I would. My Dh says I am "maniuplating" the situation....
She also is not one who gives 110%, doesn't really care for the warm up runs, etc. You see other kids giving their all and she plays and almost seems to be there to chat up her buddies.
Dh says if she doesn't play this spring, it's over (her softball career)??!!
Why don't I want her to play - well, it isn't just her that is being committed to the team, it is me as well. There is a weeknight practice/game and a Saturday practice/game. We have 2 other children ages 7 and 1. My Dh is a retail manager - so his schedule does not allow him to do much of the carting of the children so to speak.
Dh goes in before 6am, which means I have to get all the kids to school, at 8, meaning I can't leave work all that early to do all the pick ups and drop offs in different places. He gets off anywhere from 4:30 - 6 or so depending on what is going on. He works on Saturdays as well.
The weeknight game is only an issue with me as far as the time goes, we wouldn't get home until 9pm and that is just too late for the baby and when she was playing before it was a constant fight to get her to finish her homework on those nights. The field is on the other side of town and takes a good 30 min to get to from our house. During the last season, DH usually handled the weeknight game and I wouldn't even go out to the field. The only time I would go is when Dh had a game the same night and I'd have to go pick her up. Of course she would always throw in, "how come you never come to my games..."
Now, here come Saturday's.....they want you there for an hour prior to the game, the games last an hour and a half and then 30 min to get home.....that's a huge chunk of the day for me and my other to children to have to commit too. Trying to keep a 1 year old entertained that long in a stroller? I've tried coming home in between but it seemed too rushed. There is nothing really in the area for us to "go do" aside from shopping. Plus the wonderful consession duty, which would fall to me too.
Dh offered to take HIS VACATION time to take Saturday's off, which I am like - wow, you'd give up vacation time that we take as a family together to spend time with one child on an extra curricular activity?
If I felt she really loved it, had a passion for it, etc, then I would suck it up and do it, but I don't feel that she does. I also don't think it is fair for my other 2 kids to have sit at the ball park for hours. My other dd constantly mentioned during the last season why her sister got to do an activity and she didn't - but that is another conversation. Also another conversation, but this is a child who does nothing arund the house to help out, etc. I feel that an extra curricular activity should be treated kind of like a reward.
How do you handle things on which you don't agree?