Underage drinking parties UPDATED INFO POST 68.....

[zoo2tycoon]

Situation happened recently

THANKFULLY MY CHILDREN WERE AT HOME---we were aware of the event and our kids had no desire to go and were home!

Background....senior in high school turning 18. He plays football, has a younger brother who plays football and 2 other younger siblings. He announces he is having party (everyone knows drugs/alcohol will be there). There is really no parental supervision---parents want kids to be popular (really??) PARENTS WEREN'T HOME

So the big event happens and of course the cops come. Lots of kids get caught there---still sketchy about details. Have heard there was a keg (adult bought and that adult was arrested). Kids run and hide in a field, and try to get away. Not sure of what cops did (parents called???, heard breathalized all the kids they found).

So school finds out-and when they agree to participate in sports they sign paper saying their behavior on/off school property can result in discipline. Not sure of exact disciplinary action (contract kids sign if they do XYZ it is one thing ABC is another).

Some of these parents are of course throwing tantrums claiming kids innocent, not fair, etc (seriously). Several varsity football players are NOT playing in sectional game this week (way to treat your teammates).

So as a parent, if you heard of a party going on like this would you let your kid go? How close of a track do you keep on your teenagers (these kids were sophomores thru seniors)? This has been good learning experience---lets kids know ONE mistake can change your future!!

 

[Janepod]

Situation happened recently

THANKFULLY MY CHILDREN WERE AT HOME---we were aware of the event and our kids had no desire to go and were home!

Background....senior in high school turning 18. He plays football, has a younger brother who plays football and 2 other younger siblings. He announces he is having party (everyone knows drugs/alcohol will be there). There is really no parental supervision---parents want kids to be popular (really??) PARENTS WEREN'T HOME

So the big event happens and of course the cops come. Lots of kids get caught there---still sketchy about details. Have heard there was a keg (adult bought and that adult was arrested). Kids run and hide in a field, and try to get away. Not sure of what cops did (parents called???, heard breathalized all the kids they found).

So school finds out-and when they agree to participate in sports they sign paper saying their behavior on/off school property can result in discipline. Not sure of exact disciplinary action (contract kids sign if they do XYZ it is one thing ABC is another).

Some of these parents are of course throwing tantrums claiming kids innocent, not fair, etc (seriously). Several varsity football players are NOT playing in sectional game this week (way to treat your teammates).

So as a parent, if you heard of a party going on like this would you let your kid go? How close of a track do you keep on your teenagers (these kids were sophomores thru seniors)? This has been good learning experience---lets kids know ONE mistake can change your future!!

Eh, where I grew up this was a pretty typical weekend thing, from the party to the drinking to the parents complaining. My parents thought they kept close track of me but obviously had no idea what was really going on.

Do you really think this weekend is going to change their future? In what way?

 

[zoo2tycoon]

Not the weekend changing future BUT the getting suspended from sports and how that looks on college applications when they look into high school record.

 

[Pipkin]

1. I would not let my kids go and in fact, if they went out that night, I might show up at the party to see if they changed their mind and went anyway. If they did, there would be consequences.
2. I would make an effort to notify the parents, if I knew them. I would want someone to tell me about the "plans for my house" in my absence.
3. "Pretty typical" doesn't make it right. There is a risk for DUI resulting in a death or accident, or alcohol intoxication resulting in serious injury or death.

 

[Janepod]

Not the weekend changing future BUT the getting suspended from sports and how that looks on college applications when they look into high school record.

As long as it's a one-time thing, colleges aren't going to care. They ask the question on the application, the student answers truthfully, and writes a little essay about what he or she as learned, and that's that.

(Perhaps not true at, say, BYU or College of the Ozarks, but true pretty much everywhere else.)

I am an interviewer for a top 20 university. I see several of these every year. Really has no impact on the admissions decision.

 

[mjkacmom]

I've never verified a party of my teens (although, most of the time, they are at friends' homes where I know the parents well). However, my dd16 is a junior in HS, and I certainly don't know all of her friends. I know they will encounter situations with drugs and alcohol, and I hope and pray they make the right choices. So far, so good (I always wait up for them, and really pay attention to their manner).

Now, if they came to me, and told me that they were going to a party, where there would be alchohol, and no parents, I'd tell them to stay home. However, growing up, I attended TONS of these parties (just gave the cops a fake name and number...).

The nice thing about living here is that, everyone knows everyone's business - I know the name of the freshman who got drunk and fell down at the Italian feast, and not from my ds14. Eyes and mouths are everywhere.

 

[wvjules]

Situation happened recently

THANKFULLY MY CHILDREN WERE AT HOME---we were aware of the event and our kids had no desire to go and were home!

Background....senior in high school turning 18. He plays football, has a younger brother who plays football and 2 other younger siblings. He announces he is having party (everyone knows drugs/alcohol will be there). There is really no parental supervision---parents want kids to be popular (really??) PARENTS WEREN'T HOME

So the big event happens and of course the cops come. Lots of kids get caught there---still sketchy about details. Have heard there was a keg (adult bought and that adult was arrested). Kids run and hide in a field, and try to get away. Not sure of what cops did (parents called???, heard breathalized all the kids they found).

So school finds out-and when they agree to participate in sports they sign paper saying their behavior on/off school property can result in discipline. Not sure of exact disciplinary action (contract kids sign if they do XYZ it is one thing ABC is another).

Some of these parents are of course throwing tantrums claiming kids innocent, not fair, etc (seriously). Several varsity football players are NOT playing in sectional game this week (way to treat your teammates).

So as a parent, if you heard of a party going on like this would you let your kid go? How close of a track do you keep on your teenagers (these kids were sophomores thru seniors)? This has been good learning experience---lets kids know ONE mistake can change your future!!

I drill "ONE mistake can change your future" into DD all the time. And I think she actually listens. Two weekends ago there was a party that her and her BFFs were going to attend. When they heard how big it was going to be they decided not to go because "the big parties always get busted" and they didn't want to get into trouble.

 

[cornflake]

High school kids with beer? Oh noes! Heh.

Who knows exactly what parties/where their h.s. senior is every minute?

Would I care if a high schooler went to a party with booze? Not at all. Would I care if a high schooler went to a party with booze that was likely to get busted by cops out in some rural house? I'd care they were dumb.

I don't see how this would affect someone's whole life unless we're talking about people driving drunk, that's an entirely, entirely different matter.

 

[cornflake]

I drill "ONE mistake can change your future" into DD all the time. And I think she actually listens. Two weekends ago there was a party that her and her BFFs were going to attend. When they heard how big it was going to be they decided not to go because "the big parties always get busted" and they didn't want to get into trouble.

Exactly. Not dumb.

 

[JennaDeeDooDah]

1. I would not let my kids go and in fact, if they went out that night, I might show up at the party to see if they changed their mind and went anyway. If they did, there would be consequences.
2. I would make an effort to notify the parents, if I knew them. I would want someone to tell me about the "plans for my house" in my absence.
3. "Pretty typical" doesn't make it right. There is a risk for DUI resulting in a death or accident, or alcohol intoxication resulting in serious injury or death.

I drill "ONE mistake can change your future" into DD all the time. And I think she actually listens. Two weekends ago there was a party that her and her BFFs were going to attend. When they heard how big it was going to be they decided not to go because "the big parties always get busted" and they didn't want to get into trouble.

No way my kids would go to one of these parties. I didn't ever go to one of these parties. If I was at a party and alcohol came out, I left. My daughter had better do the same.

 

[SaraJayne]

I drill "ONE mistake can change your future" into DD all the time. And I think she actually listens. Two weekends ago there was a party that her and her BFFs were going to attend. When they heard how big it was going to be they decided not to go because "the big parties always get busted" and they didn't want to get into trouble.

Yup, same here. DS has seen firsthand what "one mistake" can do with some older kids at our school.

 

[Mickeyrella]

I went to tons of underage drinking parties and my life is not ruined nor it affected my college applications. I got accepted into every college and university I applied. Your kids will probably end up going to one, it is important you teach them what to do so they don't get into trouble. I never did drugs and I only had two or three drinks as I mostly went to have fun and not get wasted.

I wouldn't notify the parents, especially if your kids weren't there, IMO that is just being nosy and getting into other people's business.

My parents always told me that they can't isolate me from the real world, but they did teach me everything to have fun without putring my life or others in danger.

 

[CdnCarrie]

18 is the legal drinking age here so I guess I don't see the big deal.

 

[JVL1018]

No, I would not let my children go, not gonna happen. When they're older teens 18+, meh, I really don't have a strong feeling about it one way or the other.

BUT..this was a regular occurance in my town when I was a teenager..and back then(I graduated high school in 1989), if the cops were called, they used to confiscate the beer and just kick you out of the house..sometimes even sending you off to your cars to drive away.
Minor in possession, calling parents, totally unheard of. You didn't get in any trouble at all. Never ever.


In fact, I knew one guy who used to collect money for another keg, and as soon as he had the money, he would call the cops on his own party, cops would come, shoo everyone away and he'd keep the money.

 

[SaraJayne]

18 is the legal drinking age here so I guess I don't see the big deal.

It's 21 in the US.

 

[StephMK]

DD has listened and is following those guidlelines in college for the most part. She realizes what potential risks there are and how they might affect her future.

I did not know where my DD was many times her senior year. She'd tell me where she was going but at age, they can pretty much go/do anything and you have to trust them at that point.

If the parents weren't going to be home, how did they get the alcohol? There was a story here last weekend when an 18yo was at a party and either the teenage host's parents bought the alcohol or knew it would be there. The kid crashed his car and died on his way home and the host parents are being charged with either contributing or providing, not sure.

It was interesting because the parents of the deceased are friends w/the host parents and did not want them charged. They said their son made his own decisions. Not sure how it will play out but I was slightly surprised at their reaction.

 

[Laugh O. Grams]

High school kids with beer? Oh noes! Heh.

Who knows exactly what parties/where their h.s. senior is every minute?

Would I care if a high schooler went to a party with booze? Not at all. Would I care if a high schooler went to a party with booze that was likely to get busted by cops out in some rural house? I'd care they were dumb.

I don't see how this would affect someone's whole life unless we're talking about people driving drunk, that's an entirely, entirely different matter.

MTE!

Man have times changed since the late 80's! I can't think of a single person I knew in high school who actually asked permission to go to a kegger at a friend's house. That's blows my mind...

 

[PrincessKsMom]

Would I be happy about it? Nope, but she also has to make her own decisions and as long as she knows the consequences, they are her mistakes to make and own. She has, so far, avoided these types of parties and drinking but I don't fool myself that that will be the case for long. And, in all honesty, I'm hoping she learns to navigate these types of situations while she's still in high school and not for the first time when she gets to college. Being an only child of a mother who has always been overprotective (I'm working on it! ) I've come to realize I've done her a great disservice by avoiding all the uncomfortable situations I can. She may very well be ill equipped to deal with these types of things if her first foray into partying is college.

 

[Pipkin]

I would bet that that particular party didn't limit guests to "just 18 year olds" on their way to college. Many 18 year olds have 16 and 17 year old friends, who have 14 and 15 year old friends, so it isn't just "mature" teens drinking, its their, immature, very underage friends crashing the party as well.

 

[U2_rocks!]

A party like that here would be a total non event.

However, I guess things are different in the U.S. with it being illegal and everything.