Underage drinking parties UPDATED INFO POST 68.....

[Pipkin]

I heard of a situation that occurred in the last two years in which a party goer drowned as a result of being drunk. Not only was the boat owner sued but every person on the boat was because they couldn't save him, despite making very vigorous attempts. (he jumped in the water). Will the victim's estate win? They won a judgement from the boat owner, which was expected. It is unknown if they will win from the other passengers but each of those passengers must go through the stress and expense of an attorney. All were college age.

 

[CdnCarrie]

It's 21 in the US.

I know.

 

[npstudent2012]

Meh, when I grew up, that is all we did on the weekends was go to parties and drink (and drugs). Nothing else to do. Heck, my mom even bought the alcohol for my friends and I from the time we were 13. Most parents knew what we were doing. And it didn't ruin my life, I am now a Nurse Practitioner.
When my kids are in high school and want to go to a party, I just want them to know to not get in a car with people under the influence.

 

[Sgt Mickey]

Would I LET my child go to a party like this....heck no.
BUT I remember going to plenty of parties like this in HS. I never said where I was going so I am sure if one of my children went I am sure they wouldn't admit to it either
I don't think the party is what I have the problem with but is my child going to remember all the conversations we had about drinking and worse then drinking calling us instead of getting into a car with someone who had been driving.

I don't remember the question now that I wrote this and read through the thread

 

[cluvsdisney]

MTE!

Man have times changed since the late 80's! I can't think of a single person I knew in high school who actually asked permission to go to a kegger at a friend's house. That's blows my mind...

Me too...that was the first thing that popped in my mind. We never asked so we were never told no.

 

[Princess Dolly]

MTE!

Man have times changed since the late 80's! I can't think of a single person I knew in high school who actually asked permission to go to a kegger at a friend's house. That's blows my mind...

I know (except my time was the early 90s )!

I spent some quality time at parties during my high school years. Everything turned out ok. I knew the rules about drinking and driving. We usually just crashed we were partying or had a DD. I never asked permission, just said I was sleeping over so and so's house.

 

[ckay87]

MTE!

Man have times changed since the late 80's! I can't think of a single person I knew in high school who actually asked permission to go to a kegger at a friend's house. That's blows my mind...

Thank you - I swear I live in an alternate universe sometimes.

No, I would not "let" my boys go to a party like that, but I fully believe that they WOULD in a heartbeat. All I can do is stalk, spy, lecture and pray.

 

[wvjules]

No way my kids would go to one of these parties. I didn't ever go to one of these parties. If I was at a party and alcohol came out, I left. My daughter had better do the same.

It's not that it was a party with alcohol. It was that it was going to be a BIG party with alcohol that was likely to get busted by the cops. She goes to parties. There might be alcohol. There might not be alcohol. (I kinda go with DADT, even though I already most likely know. She overshares sometimes.) All I ask of her is to be smart. No drinkining and driving, no letting her friends drive if they've been drinking, etc. and I'm always just a phone call away! They chose not to go to that particular party because of the potential for the cops to show up, not because alcohol was going to be there.

 

[carrie1626]

a few years ago our city had a "one punch death" at an underage party. a fight between two boys over who knows what, one punch, one kid gets hit, falls and dies.
now this can happen regardless if the parents are home or the kids are older, but it's a good topic to discuss with your kids.

 

[ladypage]

High school kids with beer? Oh noes! Heh.

Who knows exactly what parties/where their h.s. senior is every minute?

Would I care if a high schooler went to a party with booze? Not at all. Would I care if a high schooler went to a party with booze that was likely to get busted by cops out in some rural house? I'd care they were dumb.

I don't see how this would affect someone's whole life unless we're talking about people driving drunk, that's an entirely, entirely different matter.

I really have to say, I see multiple people on this thread who say that their kid would never ever go to a party like this. Uhm, you sure about that? I would say it's kind of a normal experience to attend at least one. I'm not saying they have to get drunk, or would even drink at all, and I'm not saying they would try drugs, but really? You're going to assume that they will never ever go to one of these? Just because they don't tell you, doesn't mean they're not doing it.

I wasn't a big drinker in high school, never did drugs and my parents knew that. Granted, my family is from the UK, and were more lax on the age limit thing, so I was never really tempted by it. If I really wanted to have a beer, I could have one with my brother while we barbequed out back. And when we had parties at my school, everyone slept there. We would normally camp out, the sheriff or forestry service would swing by in the morning and clear us out.

 

[ladypage]

It's 21 in the US.

Not true. Since the National Minimum Drinking Age Act of 1984, only 7 states and DC have an outright ban. Other states have set their own laws. In my state it is completely allowed for a minor to drink in their own home if a parent or guardian is fine with it.

 

[vicki_c]

Not true. Since the National Minimum Drinking Age Act of 1984, only 7 states and DC have an outright ban. Other states have set their own laws. In my state it is completely allowed for a minor to drink in their own home if a parent or guardian is fine with it.

Whether that's true or not I couldn't say, but you definitely can't be serving alcohol to other minors even if it is.

 

[nchulka]

I really have to say, I see multiple people on this thread who say that their kid would never ever go to a party like this. Uhm, you sure about that? I would say it's kind of a normal experience to attend at least one. I'm not saying they have to get drunk, or would even drink at all, and I'm not saying they would try drugs, but really? You're going to assume that they will never ever go to one of these? Just because they don't tell you, doesn't mean they're not doing it.

I never attended or desired to attend these parties is high school or college. I don't drink, I never have, and I've never wanted to be around people who did. There really are people out here like me who are totally turned off and disgusted by drugs/alcohol and that type of "fun"! I love to have real fun, I'm almost always on the go doing things with friends and family and traveling, but a bunch of losers sitting around getting wasted, not my idea of a good time!

 

[badblackpug]

Well, I'm a loser, because I went to plenty of parties with drugs and alcohol, and I even partook, and inhaled.

I would never give my kid permission to go to this type of party.

I would ever supply alcohol to minors.

I am not naive enough to think that my kids will never attend this type of party. I'm pretty sure they will do what normal kids do and lie or omit. I just hope that they will be smart about it.

 

[disykat]

I didn't go to parties with alcohol in high school, nor did my husband. According to my older son, he didn't either. My younger son is still in high school.

Would I allow him to go to one? NO! If he did it anyway I would expect him to face any and all consequences at school and elsewhere.

Sometimes kids break rules, that doesn't mean there shouldn't be any rules nor does it mean consequences of broken rules shouldn't be enforced.

I would expect any adult knowingly involved to be prosecuted.

 

[jiminyC_fan]

I'm really surprised at all the eh doesn't bother me, I did it, attitudes. It still doesn't make it right nor safe. If I found out my kids were at a party like that or a parent supplied alcohol believe me someone is going to pay! We hear about drinking and driving teenage deaths a lot. What does it take to wake up some of these parents?

 

[ladypage]

I never attended or desired to attend these parties is high school or college. I don't drink, I never have, and I've never wanted to be around people who did. There really are people out here like me who are totally turned off and disgusted by drugs/alcohol and that type of "fun"! I love to have real fun, I'm almost always on the go doing things with friends and family and traveling, but a bunch of losers sitting around getting wasted, not my idea of a good time!

That's fine, you're in the minority though, as far as I've seen and experienced. Don't get me wrong, like I said, I wasn't really in to the [party scene myself, and I respect those who don't drink at all. I think I went to one party after prom, was didn't partake in anything, and got bored and went home an hour or two later. But the majority of students will likely attend one party in their youth, whether they drink or not. The parents that assume this would never happen because their kid didn't ask specifically to go to a kegger would more than likely be surprised to hear they will or have.

Teach your kids not to be stupid, that's what it comes down to. Drinking in itself, isn't stupid. Lots of people do it. Binge drinking is stupid, drinking and driving is stupid, as is drinking pass your threshold. So unless your kid is 110% against alcohol and has never ever succumbed to any form of peer pressure in their entire lives, teach them not to do the stupid stuff. I'm not saying you need to condone underage drinking, or teen parties or whatever, but make sure that you discuss it with them. Don't just ignore it and act like one speech of "drinking is bad" is going to help.

 

[ladypage]

Whether that's true or not I couldn't say, but you definitely can't be serving alcohol to other minors even if it is.

Technically they can, if you're on private property and their guardian agrees. I guess no, the 18 year old can't be a bartender for the others, but the guardians can pour the drinks if they want to. Some states even have more lax laws. I'm just saying that it's a pretty common misconception that 21 is a magic number that you can drink at.



http://www.alcoholpolicy.niaaa.nih.gov/Furnishing_Alcohol_to_Minors.html

Some States provide an exception when alcoholic beverages are furnished to a minor by a parent/guardian or spouse. Some States specify that the spouse must be of legal age, while others do not. APIS considers a State to have a spousal exception even if the age of the spouse is not specified.

In some of these States, the exception for family members applies only if the furnishing occurs in a specified location, e.g., all private locations, private residences only, or in the home of a parent or guardian only. No State has an exception for furnishing on private property by anyone other than a family member.

 

[Colleen27]

So as a parent, if you heard of a party going on like this would you let your kid go? How close of a track do you keep on your teenagers (these kids were sophomores thru seniors)? This has been good learning experience---lets kids know ONE mistake can change your future!!

Heck no, and I am very glad that my son values his football eligibility enough to steer clear of events where he's heard there will be alcohol/drugs, not because he's a saint but because he figures if he's heard about the party odds are that parents and cops have heard too. He's got a "live and let live" attitude about things that his friends do that he doesn't partake in, but he is very focused on football and entirely unwilling to do anything to risk his eligibility.

 

[Colleen27]

High school kids with beer? Oh noes! Heh.

Who knows exactly what parties/where their h.s. senior is every minute?

Would I care if a high schooler went to a party with booze? Not at all. Would I care if a high schooler went to a party with booze that was likely to get busted by cops out in some rural house? I'd care they were dumb.

I don't see how this would affect someone's whole life unless we're talking about people driving drunk, that's an entirely, entirely different matter.

That would be it for me too. I'm sure DS will be (and maybe has been) hanging out at a friend's house while someone passed around a few beers or a joint. That's a pretty normal part of growing up, as much as we parents would like to think it isn't. But there's a big difference between that and the "party of the year" where there will be a ton of underaged kids drinking, loud music and traffic to attract attention, and probably a lot of drunk driving home if the police don't break things up.

I don't expect my kids to be perfect. Right now, my approach is just to remind my son what is at stake - a positive drug test or arrest would be the end of his football career because our program is too competitive to give second chances to kids who throw away a year of eligibility. It really would be life-changing for him because football is his biggest, most passionate interest, his reason for keeping his grades up, and the only thing that even gets him talking about college rather than trade school, so I hope he will continue to display the good judgment he has so far about major social events.